Meredith sat silently in the conference room, staring nervously at the two rows of board members sitting around the table. They all stared back at her.
"At what point did the abuse start?" Jennings asked. Meredith gulped. It was her turn to talk now and she didn't know if her voice was strong enough to.
"I don't know the exact time. It just always happened for as long as I can remember. It was at some point before I was 5." She said softly. The board members nodded and jotted down notes on their papers, putting Meredith even more on edge. She wished Derek was there to just hold her hand.
"And how often would the abuse involve your mother physically harming you?" The man at the head of the table continued. She thought for a moment before she answered.
"It depended on her mood. Sometimes it would be every day and sometimes she would go a week without saying a word to me. It had more to do with what happened in her life than mine." Meredith spoke vaguely, not wanting to mention Richard and possibly get him in trouble.
Her eyes drifted to the door in hopes that she would catch a glimpse of Derek outside, but she only saw the empty hallway. Her hand nervously pushed the hair out of her face.
"Um... Do you have any proof or evidence? Like a video... or a tape recorder?" He asked. Meredith's mouth fell open and her eyebrows furrowed. She stared at him for a moment.
"Who do you think I am?" She asked softly. He looked at her confusedly. "I know you think you've got me figured out. You've read files and heard rumors and stories. But if you really knew who I was, you wouldn't have the nerve to ask that question. I am not someone from one of your movies or books. I am not a protagonist. I am not strong or smart or kind or all of the above.
I've thought my entire life that what happened to me was normal. That everyone's dad left when they were five. That everyone's mom screamed at them when they got home and forced them to go to bed after they did their homework with no dinner because they talked back to a teacher. I thought that all of my friend's moms would slap them or punch them or kick them every time they even breathed wrong in their house.
So, no, I never set up cameras in my house to catch her in the act. I never walked home with a tape recorder down my shirt so you could listen to her scream at me. I don't have proof. But if you really knew me, you would know that I don't make things like this up. I don't play pranks. I'm not the kind of person who would accuse my mother of abusing me my entire life just for kicks. That's who I am. Add that to your file." She spat. The people in the room looked around at each other, stunned. She set her jaw and stared at the flustered police officer challengingly.
"Well, um... I think we have enough information to take this case to court, so uh... thank you... for your time..." He said softly, closing his books and loading up his bag. The rest of the room packed their things up silently, all exchanging shocked looks with each other. Meredith's heart slowly settled back to a normal pace and her breathing evened out. She sat with her eyes closed at the end of the table. She didn't want to see them looking at her. She was tired of people looking at her.
She heard rustling and shuffling and then the door clicked closed. She finally let a single tear streak down her face.
XxXxX
The silence was so thick and tense that it could almost be cut into with a knife. Derek sipped the last of his coffee awkwardly, glancing over at Cristina, who was staring blankly at the wall. Alex sat on the other side of her, twiddling his thumbs nervously.
He looked back at the door and sighed, resting his head against the wall and pulling his knees up to his chest. They had been in there for over half an hour, which felt like days to him. He could have sworn he saw the sun set and rise again through the window.
All three surgeons jumped up as the door swung open and an ensemble of board members and police officers filed out of the room, all having their own conversations. Derek caught a few words but didn't have time to comprehend them before everyone was gone and it was just the three of them standing uselessly in the hallway.
Derek came to his senses and rushed through the almost-closed door. spotting Meredith still sitting at the end of the table and dashing over to her. Her eyes were closed and he noticed a single trail left by a tear on her face and sighed.
"I knew we should have waited. It was stupid of them to pressure you into this so early and I shouldn't have caved. I'm-" She cut him off, her voice soft but strong.
"Stop." She stated. He quieted immediately, looking at her with concern in his eyes.
"I'm fine. It's just... a lot. To think about, to deal with. I'm tired." She assured him. He nodded and placed his hand on top of hers.
"You should rest. I'll take you back to your room." He said. She nodded and finally opened her eyes, turning so that they met his.
"Thank you." She said tenderly.
XxXxX
Derek pushed the wheelchair slowly into the hospital room. He did so quietly so as not to wake up Meredith, who had fallen asleep just moments after they had left the conference room.
He closed the door behind him and sighed, smiling down at his girlfriend. Her head had pulled to the side and her mouth hung open slightly. A soft snore came from her throat and he chuckled.
His left hand snaked under her knees and his right behind her back. He lifted her gently so that she was pressed against his chest. Her head dropped so it was resting against his body. He smiled down at her.
The light streaked in through the window and cast lines of shadows across the bed and the floor. Derek set Meredith down on the bed lightly. He pulled back the sheets and pushed her long, skinny legs under them. Her hands gripped the sheets sleepily and she shifted so that she was laying on her side.
He looked around for a moment and then drew the blinds on the window into the hallway. He pulled his shoes off and climbed up onto the bed. His legs slipped under the sheets and he wrapped his arms around her tiny body, nestling his head into her neck.
"Mmh..." He groaned softly, inhaling her familiar scent and relaxing his muscles. He didn't want to admit it, but he was exhausted. He felt selfish for being tired, especially when Meredith was going through something like that. But he was tired. He just wanted everything to be over. He just wanted her to be safe.
Even when he had his arms around her, even when he felt her physically breathing under him, he felt a constant, overwhelming fear that if he closed his eyes, she would be gone. Ripped from his grasp or having suddenly disappeared without a trace. He was afraid that if he closed his eyes, she would stop breathing. Her heart would stop beating and he would be laying there with his arms wrapped around his dead girlfriend like Izzie to Denny.
So he laid there for hours, feeling the breath enter and exit her lungs. Smelling the scent of her lavender conditioner. Imagining the blood flowing through her body. Listening to her cute, quiet snoring. Wondering what she was dreaming about.
She was safe in his arms. That was all that mattered.
XxXxX
Wow this chapter took forever to get out. Sorry about that. I was really caught up in the oneshot I was writing and I was grieving over Derek's death. :(
There will be more!
Kisses!
-E