A/N: WELL…It's that time again, for me to write. I have to admit, this is a harder task than I originally thought. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write 100 different episodes without 100 percent freedom to do whatever… ya know since I'm trying to stick to the TV Series story line so that it flows together. Needless to say, WHEW. I vow to finish this series, no matter how terrible my writing gets! I'm determined. Story ideas are highly accepted by me, so drop me a note if you have an idea.

Liar, Liar, We are on Fire

Post-Episode 100

By Jinxie

Disclaimer: See the main story disclaimer, it applies

Content Warning: See the main story warning, it applies

Goal: See the main story goal, it applies

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End of Episode 100 (S5,E10):

This episode is the musical episode where they are doing a battle of the bands to win a sacred Lyre. It ends with a musical number in which everyone is singing.

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Seconds later….

Gabrielle bolts upright off the ground, sweat beads are visible on her skin. She looks around her; she is in their camping spot. Looking down, she sees Xena stirring next to her. After a moment, the Warrior Princess' eyes shoot open. She looks around and sees Gabrielle who looks tense. "Gab, you ok?" Was I dreaming?

Gabrielle looked at her lover, "I guess. I just had a terrible dream." Or something.

"So did I. There was a lot of horrific singing and terrible music." Xena shook her head trying to rid herself of the music in her head.

The bard's eyes snapped over to look at Xena. "Music and singing? Was Joxer and your mom in it?"

Xena eyed the blond woman skeptically, "Yesss. Why?"

"It sounds just like my dream. Was there an Amazon woman after Joxer?" Gabrielle asked. Xena nodded in response. "What about Draco?"

"Yeah! He was after you! Pissed me off. I wanted to kill him." Xena growled in her throat. "What the in Tartarus was that?!" Xena exclaims as she stands up and rubs her temples.

"I have no clue, but I'm glad it's over." Gabrielle looks down and sees a bowl full of mushrooms. "Xena, do you think it was the mushrooms that did that?"

"No! Those are for nausea, not hallucinations." She looks down at them then back at Gabrielle, "Right?"

"These don't look like the ones I picked for you last time. Where did you find these?" She picks up a mushroom and examines it carefully.

"Oh no, don't you even blame me. I did not pick the wrong damn mushrooms!" Xena gets up and finds their water skin, drinking heavily out of it. "Oh that's good."

Gabrielle quickly gets up and snatches the water out of her hands. "I hate to break it to you, but you picked the wrong mushrooms." She takes several large gulps of the water. "How crazy was that? Your mom trying to set you up with men! She knows we are together."

"Ugh yeah, that was bizarre. What I really don't understand is how we both hallucinated the exact same crazy… thing. I mean, what is a battle of the bands anyway? I've never heard of such a thing." She walks over and begins to pet Argo.

Gabrielle watches her as she contemplates what happened in their apparent drugged-up state of mind. I was jealous of someone liking Joxer? Now that's the weirdest thing of all. Jace was nice, I liked him. "Hey Xena? Do you remember how Joxer acted towards his brother? I got the vibe that he didn't like him because he likes men."

Xena grunted, "Yeah that's what I gathered too. Doesn't seem like he would be that judgmental though in real life."

Gabrielle thought about that for a minute, "I don't know. I can kind of see it. I hope that I'm wrong though. Do you think he would be like that towards us if he knew about our relationship?" She stood up and stretched out her muscular body, ending in a yoga pose.

After a quiet minute, Xena finally finished brushing Argo. She responded by asking a question, "Does it really matter? I mean if he doesn't like it, his loss. We consider him family. I would hope he considers us that as well and would support us no matter what."

"Well yeah, but he is totally in love with me! He's worse than Draco in a way, because it's real. I think he would be jealous of you. He would probably think that I just need a 'real man' to fix me." She chuckled bitterly at the thought.

Xena walked up to her lover and pulled her into a hug. "If he ever said that, then we would know he didn't have our best interest at heart. I honestly don't think he would react that way. Anyway, it was all just some big dream or something."

"I know; you are completely right. Hey, why don't you fix some dinner? I think I'm going to attempt to write something other than my diary. I haven't tried my hand in that for a long time." She smiled at the warrior as she patted her on the side.

"Alright. Good luck." Xena headed towards a nearby stream to look for some fish or other wildlife.

Gabrielle sat down with her scroll and quill in hand. "Alright, non diary entry. 'It was a splendid day as the Warrior Princess walked through a muddy swamp.' Wait, why would she walk through a muddy swamp? Scratch that." She crossed out the writing with her ink covered quill. 'Today was a bright and glorious day when Xena the Warrior Princess smiled.'" Gabrielle shook her head. By the gods this is hard. I think I forgot how to write!

Xena walked back into camp. "Look what I found, another mouth to feed." She pointed at the person standing next to her.

"Hi Gabby!" Joxer shouted.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes then greeted him with a smile. "Hi. I'm trying to write, so if you could be a little quiet that would be great." She focused back down on the paper in front of her.

He set down his gear and took off his armor. "Whatcha writin?" He plopped down next to her on the log.

She clenched her jaw and looked up at Xena. The Warrior Princess took the cue and came to the rescue, "Joxer, how would you like me to teach you some new sword moves, huh?" she wiggled her eyebrows.

Joxer immediately stood up and grabbed his sword in it's scabbard. "That would be great! Can you show me how you do that one twirly thing, where you put it through the guy, when he is running at you from behind. Then you are like 'yah!'?"

Xena's eyes widened, "Ahhh Sure." She slapped him on the shoulder and walked off as he followed her.

"Thank the gods." Gabrielle muttered as she looked back down at the scroll. She tapped the quill for a while, then decided to let herself be distracted. My boots need some oil on them.

Needless to say, the story was never written.

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Beginning of Episode 101: Several days later...

Gabrielle is pacing around in pajama's in Aphrodite's temple. She is talking to herself, "`It was the kind of night where you could feel time flow over you like- the amnesiatic waters of the river Styx.' That is terrible. `Amnesiatic'? I don't think that's a word."

She scribbles down something else, then crinkles the paper in frustration. "This doesn't work, either. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h. Ah, no." She rewrites some more text, "Mm-hm-m. Oh, yeah. This is so good. Mm-m-m-m, no, it's not. Oh! Who am I kidding?!" She tosses yet another crinkled up scroll onto the floor.

Aphrodite appears and watches for a moment, then yells "Boo!"

The bard turns around and stares at her, "Aphrodite?"

The goddess responds, "Can't sleep, huh?"

"You scared me." Gabrielle is not happy, her face is full of annoyance.