Barksky sat facing away. His posture was slouched, yet tense and stiff. Redpaw assumed he was either really worried or really annoyed

His striped tail flickered.

Barksky then made a low, scratchy sound. Redpaw wasn't sure whether it was a purr or a growl.

"Now, remind me why it was so urgent you two needed to see me right now, in the middle of the day while I'm trying to work?"

Leafpaw and Redpaw exchanged glances. Odd remark for a medicine cat.

After Redpaw's pains acted up during the raccoon attack, they decided it was time to consult with the medicine cat. Normally Tigerfall tended to patients, (now that she had her medicine cat name) but Redpaw and Leafpaw decided that they should go to Barksky for this, seeing as he was more expirienced.

"It's, um, it Redpaw's pains, sir," said Leafpaw.

Barksky continued on sorting his herbs, " Uh huh,"

They frowned. Was he even listening?
"Um, Barksky? It's, well, it's getting worse," added Redpaw.

Barksky murmured another grumble. He started wandering around, putting things away, not even casting them a glance.

"We're serious!" hissed Leafpaw.

Finally, the old tabby turned to them. His eyes were strange; they glowed, yet were a dull, green-gray color.

His face clenched, "Tigerfall isn't doing anything right now. Why don't you go bother her with your petty apprentice 'owies'?"

Leafpaw's jaw opened with disgust, "Are you kidding? We're coming to you for help! We know that you couldn't diagnose him as a kit, but could you at least take him seriously? What if his life in danger?"

Barksky never showed much emotion, but he seemed a little taken back by her. As if no apprentice had ever talked to him like that.

"Look at me, Redpaw," said Barksky. Redpaw jerked his head in his direction, "Take a deep breath."

Redpaw obeyed.

"Did that hurt?"
"No, sir."
"How often do these pains occur?"

"No much, until recently. And when it does come, it's really painful now," he scowled, "And they always seem to happen at the worst possible times.

"Hmm," once again, Barksky seemed to only be half-paying attention. He was examining bits of a twig in the corner.

"And when it hurts, would you say it centers around your breathing, or heartbeat?"

"I dunno, both?"

Barksky flicked away the twig with his claw, just like Lionkit did when he was bored.

"Redpaw, I don't know what to tell you. You came to me with just as much information as Rosefang did when you were a kit," he meowed, shaking his head, "Of course, I cannot just send you off if you feel you might collapse at any moment. Especially alone with a raccoon. Fortunately, I know Rowanleaf of CloudClan has some experience with internal and unseen conditions. And Speckledream naturally has a vast amount of medical knowledge, with her experience. I'll consult the medicine cats at the next half-moon. In the meantime, I recommend you cease your strange habit of wandering off and getting in fights."

Redpaw held his tongue. Barksky was only teasing. Probably.

"Until then, don't go out alone, and tell me if you have more information. Don't worry, I'll consult with Graydust to hold off on the solo missions for now."

Great. Another reason for Graydust to torment him.

Leafpaw nodded, "Ok. That's good. Right?" she turned to her brother, who was in a daze, "Right Redpaw?"

"Huh? Yeah. Sure."

"Well, move along then. I have a lot to do," said Barksky

/

"Redpaw. Redpaw. Redpaw? Come on!" Leafpaw's voice echoed in his hear.

Redpaw refused to open his eyes. Oh StarClan, please, five more minutes.

"It's a miracle he ever gets up," a tom grumbled.

"Just give him a minute. Redpaw! We have a border patrol!"

"We should leave him here. He needs it. Obviously, since he seems to think he's so special…"

"Oh, be quiet. He's just, stubborn. That's a good trait, right?" irritated, she pawed him in the face.

Just as fast as it started just a week before, the oncoming of pain in his torso welled.

"Not again!" dismayed Redpaw.

"What's wrong?" the tom groaned, in an irritated tone.

Redpaw blinked. He was surprised to see Adderfoot standing next Leafpaw over him.

"Oh no, is it your chest again?" mewed Leafpaw.

Redpaw nodded. He scrunched up his face to bear with it.

Adderfoot rolled his eyes.

Stoneflower butted her big head in, "Hey, you three! Ready to go?"

Redpaw moaned again.

"Um, I think Redpaw should stay here, for the morning," meowed Leafpaw.

She sighed a heavy sigh, "All right. You two, come out when you're ready."

Adder slashed his tail, "Of course. I don't know why you take care of him so much, Leafpaw. He's obviously faking it."

"He's my brother!"

"Ok, ok. Sorry I asked," Adderfoot mumbled, rolling his eyes. He followed Stoneflower outside. As his pale tail flickered and disappeared around the corner, Redpaw wished that he could sink his teeth into that tom's skin.

He was sure Leafpaw felt the same, even though she didn't seem as mad.

"Ok. I gotta go. Get better. See you later!" called Leafpaw. With that, she bounced after Adderfoot outside.

Redpaw rolled back into his nest. The pain reminded him of all the times he got sick as a kit. Laying around, feeling nauseous, wishing the sickening feeling of pain would just go away.

Neither Redpaw nor Leafpaw were terribly hurt from the raccoon attack. To his surprise, Graydust actually apologized. Graydust! Although, Redpaw suspected that he was forced to.

As the morning progressed, Redpaw realized that it wasn't just chest pains. He was actually getting sick. Migraines drizzled in and out of his head. Exhausting naps, cricks in his neck, and bizarre dreams filled his morning.

By noon, he simply felt miserable. He decided it was worth to go see Tigerfall.

The walk to her den seemed as fuzzy as his dreams.

"You need rest," advised a flustered Tigerfall, "...obviously. I'm giving you some feverfew for your the headaches, and to bring your temperature donw. But if I were you, I'd get some fresh air. Go outside. Give yourself someone to talk to. Seriously, I've had this before, and sleeping in a stuffy den all day will just make you stiff and miserable."

Redpaw ate his prescribed herbs, before finding himself a comfy spot in camp to relax. As far as weather went, it was a typical, late-leafbare day. The sun was warm, but the air was cold.

A little later, a returning hunting patrol poured into camp. All of them carried a decent load of prey, for a winter hunting party.

The cats in camp made sounds of rejoice, and greeted their clanmates gracefully.

Spottedstar's eyes lit up, "My! What a hunt! You all must've worked really hard to gather that much fresh-kill!"

Hatchnose raised his nose, "We didn't need to. It's crawling with unaware prey out there! Didn't even need to try. We could've just sat there, waitng for it to jump into our paws, and we still would caught enough"

Redpaw was in a daze. He mindlessly staring at a crinkled leaf, rustling across the snow.

He didn't even notice Amberkit stalking behind him. She bundled straight into his shoulder without a care.

"Ow!" flinched Redpaw, startled. He was surprised at little Amberkit's power.

"Surprise attack!" howled Lionkit as he lunged after his sister. When Redpaw didn't budge, his big blue eyes rounded with disappointment.

"Why, Lionkit, I daresay your sister's gotten stronger than you," meowed Redpaw.

Lionkit's mouth dropped open. He looked from Redpaw and Amberkit with horror.

Redpaw expected Amberkit to shoot back, in the smug way that Leafpaw would. But the shy ginger and white she-kit started licking her own chest fur.

"It can't be!" sputtered Lionkit. A pout replaced his shock, "Liar! You're just saying that to make me mad!" he whined.

"Well, nothing gets past you, tiger."

"I'm Lionkit! And I'm totally stronger!"

"Can you please play with us?" begged Amberkit, pulling at his paw.

"Look guys, I'm not feeling that well today. Maybe some other time."
"But you're always too busy to play," whined Amberkit. But it was true. Redpaw hardly had any spare time anymore, with all of his excessive apprentice duties.

"Don't worry about it. Go get yourselves some fresh-kill. They just caught a bunch."

"Oh! I almost forgot!" mewed Amberkit. She bounded into the other opening in camp, before scampering back like a mouse. Her jaws carried a plump chipmunk. She was clearly having trouble carrying such a big mouthful.

"What's this?"

"Pleh!" she sputtered, dropping the chipmunk in front of him, "Yuck! I hate chipmunk. This is from Leafpaw. She had to leave right after the patrol, so she asked us to give this to you, since you're sick."

Redpaw placed a paw on the meaty chipmunk's tail. He didn't want it. His stomach was still churning. The rodent alone was probably fat enough to feed two or three cats.

"Um, you guys can eat this, I'm really not hungry," said Redpaw. Amberkit's face fell a little.

"But hey, thanks for bringing it to me."

"You're welcome!" squeaked Amberkit.

"Hey! You two!" a stern call sounded from the nursery. The kits froze.

"Go make yourselves useful and go give some prey to the elders."

Amberkit slumped, "But we were just -"

"Now! Leave him alone. Redpaw's not feeling very well. Don't make me go get your mother…"

"Ok, fine," sighed Amberkit, "Bye, Redpaw."

"You're not stronger, I'm stronger," grumbled Lionkit. He pouted at his paws as he followed his sister.

"Aww," the cat from the nursery meowed, under her breath. She stepped out of the shadow. Redpaw turned to see a slim, pale, ragged-furred queen. She was so thin that her bones shown through her pelt. She held her head low low it lie beneath her shoulders. And her pelt was covered in black stains. This was Robinfoot. Redpaw didn't know her very well

"Oh, um, good morning, Robinfoot," rasped Redpaw.

The strange queen seemed to hardly ever notice her pathetic appearance. She always seemed to keep herself to herself. Maybe that's why no one really knew her that well. But she seldom fell in daze, or stopped being wary of her surroundings. She was always alert, and serious.

"That was adorable," she meowed. StarClan, her mew was scratchier than his, somehow.

"S-sorry," he stuttered, "What did you say?"

"Don't you see it?" she murmured, "That kit really adores you."

"Yeah," said Redpaw, awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. He wasn't sure what to say, "Um, you mean Amberkit?"

"Of course. I mean, look at her. She's always following you around camp, mimicing you when you practice, she really looks up to you. Lionkit, too," replied Robinstep, sitting down next to him, "I hope you mind if I sit here?"

"Of-of course not. And, no, she'd be the only one. Apparently, everyone seems to think I'm a whiny apprentice," sighed Redpaw.

"No. I see an insecure young tom figuring out his place. You angsty apprentices always seem to think your lives are so horrible. Trust me. It'll get better as you grow."

"Oh yeah? Try having Graydust as a mentor."

"No need to. I already have."

Redpaw turned to her in surprise, "Really?" Oh, was this was Graydust's horrible mentoring did? Turn cats into submissive pushovers? Is that what made Robinfoot the way she was?

"Oh, yes. Apprenticeship was a tough time for me, Redpaw, and I don't envy you. I wasn't meant to be a fighter. I hated battle. I hated killing things. And before you suggest it, no, I absolutely did not want to be a medicine cat."

Redpaw's eyes widened with interest, prompting her to go on.

The little queen sighed, "I suppose I'd better tell the whole story. You know my littermate, Hatchnose?"

"Yeah. He can be a be a little crazy," said Redpaw with a nervous laugh. He stiffened as Robinfoot's face hardened.

"Oh, I meant-"

"No no, you're right," she mewed with ease, "Hatchnose is a stuck-up, arrogant, and greedy flea-bag."

"Oh, ok," Redpaw was a little taken back to hear someone bash their littermate. Not that they seemed like littermates...

"Yes. And a real peacock. You can imagine what growing up as his littermate would've been like."

"Well, no. What was it like?"
"Well, for one, it helps when you're the oldest of the brood. Yep. There were five of us at the time. And I kid you not, back then, the strongest of each litter was praised to spoils, especially in winter, when kits literally have to fight each other for a teat. (It had been a particularly harsh winter that year) After that, it was always about wonder-child Hatchkit. Oh, yes. My siblings and father all naturally believed him to be a rising star. Of course, my mother was too kind to admit favorites. But when she, Father, or anyone look at us as a litter, Hatchnose always stood out, because he was stronger, healthier, deemed to be the most likely to survive. That's partially why he's such a hot-head."

"So, what happened to your other three siblings?"

"They died."

"Oh, s-sorry," he stammered. He felt bad for bringing it up. But it hardly seemed to faze Robinfoot to talk about it.

Redpaw sighed, "I couldn't possibly imagine losing my sister."

"I know. You two have been inseparable since you were born. You're very lucky to have a littermate you can trust, Redpaw. Always have her back."

"Oh, for sure."

"Always?"

"Yep."

"Good. It's important that you do."

Redpaw nodded, "Forgive me for asking, but, what...happened? Was there an outbreak, or famine, or something?"

For once, Robinfoot's normally fox-focused eyes softened. They stared into the distance in a way that Redpaw had never seen before. The little queen grimly turned to him.

"I don't know. I don't know how they died. No matter how it happened, any story like mine would be tragic. It drove my mother into depression, and then death later on. And that caused my father to stop caring. One day, he just left, and never came back. No one's heard from him since. I was only about your age. And...and..."

"And..?" pressed Redpaw

"And, their deaths were because of the dynamics of my siblings. As Hatchkit was praised, we were humbled. As he grew stronger...we got weaker. My littermates got less, so they ate less. And one by one, they all withered away. Maybe that's how they died. But all I know is that was all because of Hatchnose's drive to compete. To be better than his peers. To love survival more than loving us."

Redpaw wasn't sure what to say. So this was how she became how she was. Skinny and dull-pelted. Robinfoot and Hatchnose were still very young warriors. Perhaps she was still recovering from starvatiom, "That's terrible, Robinfoot. I'm sorry," they stood still, as if frost were forming on their pelts.

"Don't get me wrong, Redpaw. Hatchnose did love us, as much as any brother would, and didn't mean for anything that happened to happen, we were just to oblivious to realize," she murmured, she snapped out of her daze, "But that's just nature for you, Redpaw. I just hate to see siblings fall into such traps."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Well, why not? It's not a secret. But mostly because, it's something I wish I could've told myself all those moons ago. Maybe then, they might've had a chance. But I'm not worried about you. I see the way you and your sister treat each other, how you stand by each other. But the truth is, as apprentices, Hatchnose and I were closer than you and Leafpaw are now."

Redpaw let that sink in. Then he felt a prang of worry.

"Again Redpaw, I'm not worried about you. Nor Lionkit and Amberkit. I just hope MistClan doesn't make the same mistakes."

"But what about since then? We barely ever see you, outside the nursery."

"I'm only about 8 or 9 seasons old, and I've raised a couple of litters. If my place isn't in the nursery, then it isn't in MistClan at all."

"Is that why you sleep outside of camp sometimes?"

Robinfoot flinched, "What makes you think that?"

Oops. Moons ago, Redkit would often wake up to find Robinfoot sneaking out in the middle of the night. Perhaps that was something she didn't want anyone else to know...

"Well, I saw you, sometimes, leaving in the middle of the night, when I was a kit. Where did you go?"

She shook her head, "I can't answer that. But between you and me, I often wonder exactly what my place here is. I don't blame you, if you feel the need question my loyalty to MistClan now. Even I do sometimes. But sometimes, I just wonder..."

Suddenly, Rosefang poked her head around the corner.

"Good afternoon, Robinfoot. Redpaw." she greeted politely.

Robinfoot stiffly bowed her head in greeting.

"How are you feeling, son?" asked Rosefang.

"Better."

"Good. You just stay there. I'll get you something to eat," she turned her fluffy tail.

Robinfoot and Redpaw watched her leave.

"So, um, you said you had Graydust as a mentor, right?" said Redpaw.

Robinfoot neatly folded her paws, "Yes."

"Any advice on surviving his torture methods?" he snorted, half-sarcastically. Although, 'torture' wouldn't be a too far off word to describe his training.

As always, Robinfoot hesitated to answer, "I guess, just, hang in there. I know the intensity of his sessions and his strictness seem terrible, but he's doing it for a reason. I personally don't like him, probably just because fighting isn't my thing."

Redpaw pictured himself at his very first training session. He could just see a young version of Robinfoot, Robinpaw then, shivering in the ice as Graydust threw blow after blow at her.

"Just remember this, Redpaw. If you can survive Graydust's training, then you can survive any battle or method of torture," she purred, jokingly.

"Heh. I like that thinking," purred Redpaw.

Then, Rosefang returned. She held in her mouth what looked like a huge hairball.

Redpaw realized it was just a young squirrel.

"Here, Redpaw. Eat up. You'll need your strength."

Redpaw made a face at it. He hated eating fluffy animals. The hide was so hard to eat through.

Robinfoot noticed his disgust, "Winter's no time to be picky, boy. Eat up," she whispered as she passed him. He watched her slink away, close to the ground. She crept back into the shadows of the nursery, into what she normally was. Out of sight.

/

I know, not very interesting chapter this week. Next week should be better. Sorry for not updating for a few weeks, and having a couple "half-chapters" before that. The end of the quarter at my school has been a mess :) Next week I'll update by either Tuesday or Thursday this time. Thanks for reading!