A/N: I wrote this in (pretty much) one day, oh my god! That definitely won't be happening again in the near future though… urgh.
Please please PLEASE give feedback on such a long chapter! I worked very hard on this one for you guys.
MYSTERY COUNTDOWN: 3
Neuro moved his outstretched finger, tracing bored circles in the air as the last cop cars pulled up. Well, at least his target hadn't escaped in the mean time. No matter where Neuro moved the finger attached to the Tool, it always pulled him towards the run-down building.
A larger squad had arrived than Neuro anticipated. A pod of cop cars was there, sitting low on their wheels like panthers resting before a hunt. Regular-rank police demons had exited the vehicles and now congregated among themselves, fiddling with equipment and talking quietly.
At least they weren't complete idiots. The squad members had been careful to keep out of sight, parking where Neuro was hidden behind the nearby dunes. The officers were quiet and their flyers—Neuro checked—were high up.
Neuro observed all the information through clear green eyes. Oh, of course. The theft of such a valuable gem had undoubtedly piqued the attention of Enforcement. That must be why more fools had been added to Neuro's own squad.
Hmm… Neuro looked around him. Now, how best to put them to work?
A police hearse had also stopped in the middle of the cop cars. One of the doors opened and a bipedal demon in a uniform stepped out.
They had the head of a bull complete with ivory horns. Instead of a typical nose ring, they had a nose square. An extra set of arms sprung from their back. Strapped to their belt were two portable, extendable axes and two shortswords.
As Neuro watched, two demons approached the officer. It soon became obvious that he was giving them orders. The bull-headed demon smiled with blunt, square teeth as they reported things were going according to plan. A short exchange followed. Words flew quicker back and forth. Shortly, he dismissed one but kept the other for a few moments more. The bull demon advanced into their personal space, stretching out his strong neck and catching the light on his horns as he made whatever he needed to be clear, quite clear. Things would be done his way and quickly. His subordinate left at a scurry, bowing and scraping.
This seemed like a good place to start.
Neuro strolled over to the bull-headed demon. Recognition flashed in their eyes as the detective approached.
"Sir," the officer greeted him. He saluted with one arm, then moved both of his right arms out to shake Neuro's hand. "I am Bullspider, the Head Officer here."
"Charmed," said Neuro, switching over his left hand to join in the handshake as well. It was an interesting choice on the officer's part. Demons did not usually shake hands—physical contact of almost any kind was an invitation to exchange blows. Those who did initiate handshakes did so because they could. "And I am Neuro Braineater, Head Detective here and everywhere."
The Head Officer was surprised by his politeness, Neuro could tell. Neuro adopted a wide-eyed, innocent look. "Thank you for coming so quickly. I believe that we will be working together on this case." He injected a certain amount of sweetness into his voice.
"Er… yeah. We certainly will," stumbled Bullspider. Then he shook himself. "The Order Branch has high hopes for you indeed if they are entrusting you to solve this case. Our job is to assist you here in…" He ground his teeth. "In any way you ask."
Neuro felt the urge to laugh. Typical demon commander. For them orders were hard to take and easy to give.
"Let me make one thing clear…" Bullspider leaned in close. "I think you came here to meddle. Those direct from the Order Branch are always like this—young, overconfident, and bossy. They mess up more times than I have fingers and they never admit to it afterwards."
He glared at Neuro. "Me and my officers are top of the division, and we're more than capable of finding and arresting one little suspect all by ourselves. If HQ wants to send a new crime detective here to try them out, I will respect that decision. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."
Neuro blinked back at him. "My, my, how cruel. Well, I certainly hope we don't get in each other's way."
Bullspider snorted in response.
"So," he said, louder for others to hear. "We are prepared to take any action needed to flush out the criminal. My men are fully equipped. We have flyers on standby. You say that the target is in that building?"
"Yes," Neuro said.
Bullspider nodded. "Then what, Mr. Detective, do you suggest we do?"
Briefly, Neuro's outstretched middle finger caught his eye. The Head Officer fixed it with a confused look, attempting the arduous task of keeping his gaze on Neuro but looking at the finger out of the corner of his eye. It didn't mean much to demons personally. However, it was well known as a kind of extremely rude human gesture. Just what was going on here?
Neuro smiled. He held his middle finger up as if testing the breeze. "Just follow my lead."
Dust stirred over the flat bedrock. Swiftly, silently, police officers approached the abandoned Statuary.
It was a screen approach. They came from all sides, advancing in a circular formation. Each of them took up positions. Soon there were officers at every door and beneath each window. Other manned the cop cars waiting just out of sight behind the dunes, in case the target somehow managed to pass them.
Two demons in particular had approached a side door along with the others. They took some of the officers with them, left the rest at the door, and slipped inside.
Neuro found himself, Bullspider, and three other police demons standing inside of a long hallway. The corridor stretched out to either side of them. Plain-looking doors were embedded into the walls at regular intervals.
The lighting was terrible. Neuro could feel his eyes shift, adjusting to the darkness. But even then he could not see much more than ragged gray carpet and stone walls.
To their left was a sagging staircase. Neuro turned to face it. "Second floor…" he muttered.
The avianoid demon advanced up the staircase. Behind him, Bullspider ordered two of the three officers to search the bottom floor. The remaining one followed the Head Officer up after Neuro.
They slowed upon reaching the top floor. Bullspider and the regular-rank officer spread out a bit, beginning to search the nearest rooms.
Bullspider opened the door to Neuro's left and peered in. "Hey, Order Branch," he called over softly. "If you're so smart, then where are they keeping the Shard?"
"They don't have it with them," Neuro said.
"What?" Bullspider only just managed to keep his voice low.
"Or maybe they do." Neuro shrugged. "Either is possible. What do I care for a piece of rock?" He walked onwards.
Bullspider stared after him. How could he talk about the Shion Shard like that? Even if he wasn't interested in the power it could theoretically bring, everyone in Hell knew how much the gem was worth. Did it not interest him at all?
Even the most valuable gem in Hell, it seemed, meant nothing to this detective compared to a mystery, Bullspider thought as Neuro walked on in pursuit of his next meal.
Neuro left the other officers behind. They could search the rest of the two floors all they wanted. He followed his finger instead, which was now pulling stronger than ever.
At the end of the hall was one last room. Neuro grabbed hold of the door and pulled it open.
A group of statues met his eyes. From his position at the door Neuro could see all sides of the square room—nothing but statues, statues, and more statues, about a dozen of them in one place.
It was much the same as the rest of the statuary. The sculptures were all of demons, showing many different kinds. Some had been roughed up a bit. And quite a few of them were out-of-place. For instance, this room had a faded jungle painting as a backdrop yet the assembled statues included a lava demon, sandworm demon, and a swamp demon among more fitting ones such as a serpentine type.
Suddenly, Neuro noticed that the feeling in his Sticker-adorned finger had vanished. He started in confusion and brought it up to his line of sight. Nothing seemed off. It should still be working perfectly. The target's demonic energy had simply disappeared.
Neuro frowned. He left the doorway and began walking around the room. He checked the statues and the walls. Aside from one very brief flash, the Tool was unresponsive.
Was it defective? Neuro growled. Impossible. An object of such power and prestige was not allowed to fail. He did not want to withdraw it either. That would erase the energy signature it had currently acquired. Neuro fixed the Tool with a glare as he exited the jungle room.
And then just as Neuro stepped out, the door blew open behind him.
What? Nero turned around, but not fast enough to see anything. Behind him the door creaked, opened far wider than Neuro had pushed it.
And the Sticker was working again, pulling at his finger.
Neuro cautiously approached the door. He examined the hinges. Nothing seemed amiss apart from normal wear and tear. There was certainly nothing that could cause the door to jerk open like that.
He entered the jungle room once more. Neuro's eyes swept over the walls and found something that he had noticed before but thought nothing of: an opened window. He crouched to examine it. There were two windows in the room and this was the only one open.
Had it been a draft? Neuro wondered. It could have been simple air pressure according to the room layout. Physics might have given the door some extra push when he opened it.
The detective waited there for a moment longer. Then he got up and left the room, making sure to swing the door completely shut this time.
As Neuro continued back down the hallway, absorbed in thought, a voice called out to him.
"Hey! Our Order Branch meddler, there you are." Bullspider approached from up ahead. "I see you wandered off. You better not have been planting evidence or something over there." His black eyes lit up with a snarl.
"Certainly not," Neuro said, switching to his innocent persona. "I wouldn't dream of jeopardizing your ever-so-important investigation Bullspider, no matter how well-qualified or experienced I am. Do please forgive me for doing my job."
"And quit it with those googly eyes," Bullspider said. "You're not fooling anyone."
"Aww. But it's so fun." Neuro smiled viciously.
To his credit, Bullspider was not much fazed. "If you've got time to mess around, then I expect you've already solved this mystery. Well?" He folded all four of his arms.
Neuro remained quiet, gone suddenly sullen. "Not yet," he said.
Bullspider grinned. "I thought so."
He craned his broad neck to look behind Neuro. "Have you seen the room at the end of the hallway? The one I told you about?"
"Yes."
"Ah, then you've found the statues as well," said Bullspider. "Those things are everywhere. I've seen them in almost every room so far. My officers even found one in the middle of the hallway down on the first floor." He shook his head. "Damn creepy. But great taste in design for demons."
He sneered at Neuro before walking past. "Don't get lost in here, oh great city detective."
"I'm not from the city originally," Neuro said, ignoring the other thought that it would be laughably difficult to become lost in this building. "Ah, Head Officer, one moment," he called over his shoulder.
Bullspider stopped. With all the effort of moving a mountain, he turned around to answer the avianoid's call. "Yeeeeeeees?" he growled.
"Is Zera detained nearby?"
Bullspider blinked. "You mean the suspect? Yes, they're around."
"Good. I'd like to request that they be present for my later explanation."
The Head Officer bristled. "That demon is a five-star-level dangerous criminal, assumed guilty until proven innocent! We've had to fit them with a Death Collar and heavy guard in case they try to portal themselves away from us. I understand you take orders from above, detective, but that does not mean you get to throw your weight around and have your way-"
"I don't care," Neuro cut him off. "If by the time of my explanation it is determined that the demon Greenpus is indeed the criminal, you may execute them on the spot. I understand they are already slated for execution for their alleged crime, so really it will not break regulation."
"Wouldn't you like that?" Neuro continued. "If anything else, you would be written down as the demon who executed the criminal of the decade."
He could see the Head Officer absorbed in thought. Bullspider grumbled and mumbled. "It's still against common sense to bring a criminal to the investigation scene," the officer muttered. "But fine. Whatever you say, mister crime detective."
He turned and vanished into the dark.
Neuro journeyed back through the hallway, but had not gone far when he stumbled upon another interruption.
Neuro pulled up short. There in front of his eyes was another statue. It stood right in the center of the hallway.
Irregular, thought Neuro. Hadn't Bullspider said the police officers found it on the first floor? Perhaps there had been some sort of mistake.
Neuro came closer to it, eyes skimming every detail. It depicted a female demon a little shorter than Neuro himself. It was a serpentine-type, with snakes threading through her long hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. The face was decidedly snakelike. The demon was shown wearing a black top and form-fitting shorts. A scarf hugged its neck and torso. Its legs were those of an animal, with backwards-pointing knees. A slender tail came from behind her, ending in an eyeball.
"You're an ugly one, aren't you?" Neuro said. He knocked on it. Solid stone.
It was remarkable craftsmanship, however. Neuro admired the many bangles on the statue's arms and her earrings. If they hadn't been made of rock, the jewelry would undoubtedly be very valuable.
Neuro gave the statue one last once-over. Then he continued past. Soon, he reached the end of the hallway.
Neuro paused at the top of the stairs. He fought the urge to turn and look behind him. For some reason he was not sure what he would see.
Successfully dismissing the urge, Neuro stepped forward and began descending the staircase.
The cell phone rang quietly against the stiff tuft of Neuro's ear. He had to make a quick call. There was something he needed to know.
Neuro leaned against the wall next to the bottom of the staircase as a woman's voice finally came through the phone. "Thank you for waiting," she said. "I'll transfer you over now."
There was a soft rustling as the line was exchanged. "Hello?" came a quiet, male voice.
"This is Neuro Braineater from the Order Branch of Hell's Disciplinary Action Committee," Neuro rattled off on automatic. "Your cooperation is appreciated. I am told that you were on guard during the night of the Shard's theft."
The other demon sighed. Neuro suspected that they had already been questioned multiple times. "Yes, I was," he said. "I was jus' part of the first shift, though. We were switchin' out with the second night guard when they realized somethin' was wrong."
"I understand," Neuro said. "Let me ask you something new, then." He lowered his voice to a near-whisper, eyes flicking around the nearby hall. "Do you recall anything like a…strange gust of air, that night? At any time?"
There was silence on the line. "Y'know…now that you mention it, there might'a been," came the reply. "I'm not too sure though of course, wind's not really my thing. Jus' pitchforks."
Excitement sparked through Neuro's chest. He held the phone closer. "Perhaps when the safe door was opened?" he said.
"Yeah, yeah that was it!" replied the guard. "It did get pretty breezy when we hauled open the door. Must'a been an awful lotta air excapin'. It went pretty far too," they offered. "Some papers on top'a the tellers' desk started scatterin' a bit."
Neuro nodded. "I see. That will do. Your assistance is appreciated," he said before hanging up suddenly.
Immediately Neuro began dialing in another number. There was one more phone call he had to make.
Bullspider stared daggers down at Zera Greenpus as they moved down the second floor hallway. The slug demon was surrounded by the other three regular-rank police officers.
"Here it is, hotshot," Bullspider snarled. "Your gallows walk. I hope you enjoy what's left of it before that bird hands down the final sentence."
One of his hands tightened around the handle of an axe. "Just be sure to tell us the location of the Shion Shard before you die. Otherwise we'll yank it out of you. Literally. Portal maker."
Zera gulped. The demon nervously brushed their fingers against the Death Collar around their neck. One wrong move—practically breathe too hard—and the police would detonate it, even via remote. Neuro… Zera thought as the far room approached. I hope you've got this right.
The four officers and Zera entered the room at the end of the hall. Neuro was there as promised, leaning against a statue of a snake-like demon. The detective was staring at it, apparently in thought.
Bullspider scoffed. "Has this place inspired you? Perhaps you want to become an art critic now. Then you might finally leave us alone."
"Not quite, I'm afraid," came Neuro's smooth response. "But your officers could."
"Excuse me?" said Bullspider.
"This statue here," Neuro rapped it with the knuckles of one hand as he finally turned to look at the officers. "I've discovered something wrong with its face. If you keep looking, perhaps you'll find it," he said to the three officers. They shuffled their feet in badly-masked curiosity. "You could be rewarded with a promotion for your observational skills."
"Enough!" Bullspider said. Neuro greeted the four-armed demon wielding a battleaxe with calm regard.
"You promised us an explanation," the Head Officer said. "That's the only reason I've indulged you so far. We've even brought along the criminal here so you can suss them out. Now start. Squawking."
Neuro's eyes turned cold.
"Squawk, squawk, squawk," he mocked with a grin. "As Captain Hamburger has so idiotically insisted, we shall now get moo-ving along."
"Listen well," he cut off Bullspider's indignant reply. "Because I know everything. Do not forget who holds the higher rank here." He grinned as Bullspider slowly lowered his battleaxe. "To do so would quite a big mis-steak."
"So, here's what happened," Neuro said, launching into his explanation. "The Shion Shard was stolen from Bank Avarice during the Second Dark Cycle, after Greenpus visited the bank. The Shard disappeared immediately after being locked away for the night, during the changing of the guards and watchmen. It is believed that Zera Greenpus used their portal powers to whisk away the gem, after gaining access to the vault through yet-unadmitted means. Those suspicions-"
Next to the officers, Zera held their breath.
"Are false."
The reaction was immediate. The officers howled and snarled. Bullspider's hands trembled around the handle of his axe. "You better have a damn good story, then."
"Head Officer Bullspider," Neuro turned to him. "Have you ever heard of a reverse gorgon?"
Bullspider paused. "I believe so," he said slowly. "It's…a type of demon?"
"Good," said Neuro. "It is indeed a certain type of serpentine demon. But instead of turning observers to stone, as in the Gorgon legend, it itself turns to stone when seen. However..." He held up one middle finger. "What if it could move too fast to be easily seen?"
"Let me explain," Neuro said. "Our criminal was very smart. Very experienced. And she was also very fast."
"She?"
"Yes," said Neuro. "Picture this: The perpetrator zips into the vault containing the Shard right before it is closed. They could have distracted the closers momentarily with some sort of diversion, and thus gain an opening to slip inside."
"This is also done during the changing of the guard and camerawatchers, so once they are in they have a few moments to eliminate the security cameras." Neuro's green eyes glittered with the glee of analysis. "Interestingly, the criminal shoved all five cameras against a far wall, facing away so that there not even a remote chance they could be seen. Now they have the shard, and are safe inside the vault."
"But…how did they get out?" Bullspider said. "We would have seen them the moment the door was opened!"
"Right," Neuro pointed at him with one finger. "The moment the door was opened. Funny phrase isn't it? When opening a door, especially a very large and heavy one, your view of the inside is blocked at least partially as the door swings ajar."
He held up his cell phone. "As I understand it, all of the guards were frantic to open the door. They were all blocked from seeing the inside of the vault immediately because they were all working to haul the door open. It was too heavy to move without all of them working together."
"Besides, this is where the criminal's speed comes into play again," Neuro said. "Have you ever tried to sneak out of a door behind someone as they open it? It is entirely possible…if you are quiet enough and quick enough. For someone with five-star-level speed that would be simple."
He sighed. "As pathetic as it sounds, I believe that they just slipped out the vault door before the inside was in total view, sprinting so fast that observers' eyes could not register them. Testimony from one of the guards supports this. And so do my own experiences with some…rather suspect wind patterns in this building."
"I thought it was just broken-down and drafty," one of the officers muttered.
"Ah, so you've experienced them too," said Neuro. "Yes, it is an old building. But still-" he grinned. "In a room like this, with an open window near an open door… the door should have been blown inwards, not out. And certainly not with the strength I witnessed earlier."
"But their ring!" Bullspider exclaimed. "The ring of Greenpus was found in the vault!"
"Ah yes, thank you for the reminder," drawled Neuro. He stepped away from the statue and began pacing towards the far wall. "I'm sure that they were overjoyed. To think that they would find something that could be planted so easily…of course the criminal would use it to throw suspicion onto someone else."
"Besides," Neuro grinned and held up his middle finger. "I have been tracking the criminal based on their energy signature. And I am sorry to say this, Bullspider, but it has never once led me towards Zera."
Silence descended on the group as the officers processed the information.
"So that's how it is…" Bullspider said at last. Shock carved deep lines in his bovine face. "But then…if they're so fast, how can we catch them?"
"Indeed. They've already left," said Neuro.
"WHAT?" The others roared.
Neuro pointed to the side. The officers looked. The statue that Neuro had been leaning against was missing. And the other window on the far wall was now open.
Bullspider cursed. "We have to find them. Move, move, move!"
The police officers turned and rushed out of the room. Their Head Officer followed them.
A purple hand laid its talons on Zera's shoulder. The slug demon turned. "You should help too, Zera," Neuro said.
Zera wasn't sure what to do. They had just taken a breath to thank Neuro when the talons dug into their flesh.
"Go get 'em," Neuro said as he tossed Zera out the window.
Zera screamed all the way down.
It was not a long chase. Behind the first line of dunes the culprit lay trapped in a sticky, webby mess.
They wriggled around in the dirt, whining. Some of the officers from Bullspider's squad surrounded them, obviously unsure what to do with the sudden arrival.
"Unhand me! Let me go!" the demon shouted. She looked an awful lot like the statue Neuro had run into in the hallway—only live, in color and in the flesh. The snakes in her hair curled and hissed. She twisted and turned towards the observers. "Don't you realize? This is against the natural order of things!"
"I forgot to mention," said Neuro as he approached. Bullspider and the other three fanned out around the thief. "I contacted Jorougumo the spider demon and asked her to set up a security web. It looks like our criminal couldn't stop in time."
A thought struck him and he frowned. "Why aren't you turned to stone?" he asked, kneeling down to their level.
Amusement struck him when he saw the criminal had her eyes tightly shut. The tip of her tail, adorned with an eyeball, was shoved into the ground and facing away from everyone. "Fascinating," he said. "So, not only must an observer see you, but you must also see them. Some sort of conscious acknowledgement must be made."
Then Neuro grinned wickedly. "Did you know," he said, leaning in so that only he and the reverse gorgon could hear, "that I have been granted a great privilege? 777 parts of one, to be precise. And…"
He brought up one hand. "In my arsenal I have things that can be used not only to assist…but to punish."
He pulled a glove over talons of his right hand. The fingertips of his pointer finger and middle finger popped open and retracted. In their place rose two small lenses. Each was made of a small dome, ringed by several nodules and connected to Neuro's finger by a semi-mechanical-looking stalk.
"777 Tools of the Demon World – Evil Low Beam," he announced. "I believe this will be suitable."
The surrounding officers backed away to give them space. It was a movement more out of instinctual self-preservation than thought.
Neuro grabbed the thief's head and forced open her eyelids. She screamed as the Tool burned an image into her retinas—Neuro had chosen eyes, thousands of them, all looking at her. "Nooooo, stop!" she wrenched away and squeezed her eyes shut again. "No! Don't look at me! I don't want to be stone forever!"
"Hmm… How interesting," Neuro said, also being sure to get her tail-eye. "You are wise not to open your eyes and see the image. They are not real eyes looking at you, after all, but the effect may perhaps be the same."
"But don't worry," he said cheerfully. "As long as you keep your eyes shut forever, you will be fine."
The reverse gorgon wailed at his words. In the depth of her despair, all of her regret and thoughts related to the mystery came bubbling up to the surface.
Neuro's mouth began to water as he saw his long-awaited food arrive. "Let's eat," he said.
And Neuro did.
He straightened up as the thief fell limp. "So much fuss," he tutted as the other onlookers slowly returned. Bullspider's expression in particular was almost as delicious as a mystery. "I much prefer to eat my meal alone."
Zera and Neuro were seated back in the office at the HDAC:OB.
"Things quieted down relatively quickly after everything you did," Zera said. They adjusted the scarf around their neck. "Bullspider's division still needs to find the Shion Shard, but they insisted on working alone. They said your part in this is done. I still almost can't believe I'm free again. I…I thought for sure that…" they shuddered.
"Thought what?" Neuro tossed the remark their way. He reclined back in his chair, already looking over a new case file in his hands.
"That you…never mind." Zera sighed. "I guess I was wrong about some things, Neuro. I…I apologize for that."
Neuro grunted in acknowledgement. "It's no matter. And you still have to pay my fee."
Zera barely managed to hide a wince. "I know! I'll, uh, get to that soon as I can."
"Anyway, Neuro..." the demon looked across the gap separating the two of them. "Thank you for clearing my name. I know that there's really no such thing as 'friendship' for demons, but…" Zera took a breath. "Still, I am grateful."
Silence fell between the two demon. But somehow, this time it seemed a little more comfortable.
Then Neuro said something Zera never expected him to say.
"Why don't you stay here?"
Zera nearly fell out of their chair. "Wh-what?"
"If you're going to use such words as 'friendship' with me…" Neuro opened one of the drawers in his desk. "Then how about this?"
"Neuro…" Zera's heart bloomed with joy. "I don't even know what to-"
In front of them, Neuro held up a pair of demonic handcuffs, complete with matching ankle chains. He grinned happily. "You can be my assistant! I'll keep you as a servant…or a scout, considering your abilities. What do you say?"
Zera's face blanched. The words began to hit home.
"N-n-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Afterword: Look forward to a life of torture, Zera.
If you are a physicist with complaints about the "door should have blown in, not out" bit, I'm totally willing to hear arguments against that. However, I have experienced a similar phenomenon with my own door and the open window in my room.