A little secret ch 10
……………………………..
Once the bell rung and students began filing in the classroom, whispers began buzzing around like bees in a hive. It had not even been a minute into the school day and yet probably a good hundred rumors were whizzing around the classroom about whom this baby was and what he was doing in the there.
Tommy groaned as he was beginning to regret this decision already. He had 6 classes to teach today. He didn't know how he was going to do it with a baby in his arms and a room full of about 25 gossiping kids. He could feel it now; this was defiantly going to be a long day.
The final bell rang indicating all students needed to be in their class and while the students took their seats, the whispering became louder and things like, "He looks like Dr. Oliver" and "Maybe it's his long lost son" could be heard loud and clear. Tommy turned to Kira who gave him a weak smile and he sighed, before deciding to try and make the best of this day.
"Alright, alright class" he said, attempting to hush his students. "Settle down, settle down" he said using his hands to guide their noise level. Slowly and surly the conversation died down and the students perked their ears attentively to hear what he had to say.
But before the poor teacher could say a word, Cassidy Cornell's hand shot in the air, depriving him of any explaining to his class.
"Yes Cassidy?" Tommy asked wearily
"Are you aware that there's a baby in a carrier on your desk Dr. Oliver"
"Thank you for that stunning report captain obvious" Conner replied for Tommy and the class burst into a fit of giggles leaving Cassidy to glare at the soccer star.
"Alright, settle down guys" Tommy said, shushing them again. "Yes Cassidy, I know there's a baby on my desk" he added. "But thank you for reassuring that"
"Now class" he began, addressing the students as a whole. "As you know, in the passed week we have been studying………………what Trent?"
"Human reproduction and the stages of life" he answered and Timmy nodded.
"Correct, human reproduction and the stages of life. Now on Friday we left off where……………….Amanda?" he asked, pointing to one of his honor grade nine students.
"On the ending of human reproduction" she replied.
"Correct, on the ending of human reproduction, hence bringing forth the next stage after that process which is, infantry; the first stage in the 5 stages of life." He explained. "And for a demonstration for this portion of our lesson, I brought, this little guy" Tommy said showing Austin to the class.
He of coursed received a wave of "aw's" from the girls which was no surprise and a couple of "eww's" and "Gross" from the boys.
"Ok guys this is Austin my……………..erm……..nephew and he's 7 months old and at the firsts stage of the five stages of life. Now as we open our books to page 289, can anyone read for me, what to expect at this stage"
A few hands shot up in the class, but not to many as some were withdrawn from focusing and had their attention on the baby who was currently attempting to stuff his foot in his mouth.
"Yes Ethan" Tommy said while removing the table part of the car seat so Austin could enjoy the taste of his own foot.
"Uh, right well, In the first stage of life—the infantry stage— the human body is beginning to recognize the outside world and it's features and life on it's own, outside the womb. In this stage of life the infant will go through a serious of steps towards growing for example, eating solid foods, walking, talking, grasping and communicating with others until he or she has reached the second stage" he read from the book and Tommy nodded.
"Good now, with that said and knowing that Austin here is seven months old, what concepts do you think he's grasped already?" Tommy asked and a few more hands went in the air. "Yes Ana?"
"Chewing" she said watching him gum his foot like it was candy.
The class giggled and Tommy nodded, throwing in his own little chuckle. "Right, right, chewing and does anybody know why he's probably chewing on his foot right now?"
"Tastes good" Conner blurted out and the class laughed once more.
"Very funny Conner, um how about……………….Marco?"
"Uh, the squirt is teething?" he asked more than answered.
"Right he's teething" Tommy confirmed. "A normal thing to happen for infants in this stage and as you all may know when you've had your molars come in, solid bone pushing it's way through your sensitive gums is not a very fun process" he said while digging in the diaper bag and replacing Austin's foot with a teething ring.
"Alright now before we go on to anything else, I'd like to move on to a more important matter" Tommy began. "Now last Wednesday, we discussed about safe sex, correct?" he asked and a few snickers —mainly from the guys—where heard around the room. "And apparently you think it's still funny" he said narrowing his eyes exactly at the persons who were snickering.
"Well let me make it a little un-humorous for you guys as I show you what can come at the end of one of your little unprotected nightly escapades."
"This my friends" he began, taking Austin out of his carrier and holding him for all the class to see. (Despite his vows to never touch him again). "This is a baby; a living breathing, functioning baby. And he can be one of the consequences of your unprotected night of "fun". And unlike some of those contracted STD's that you may be able to get rid of with a few treatments or those that only you have to deal with the effects of, this consequence here is for life. He is now your responsibility to take care of until the day of your death. And he isn't a very cheap consequence either" Tommy explained.
"Kira" he asked, grabbing the young girls attention away from the fact that he was holding her child improperly. "Could you give us an example of some of the expenses a baby could have?" he asked.
Kira's heart rate increased a bit as she wondered why Dr. Oliver would ask her in specific. Was he trying to expose her secret to the whole class? But after reviewing the lesson he was going over today and remembering how he was asking all kinds of students for the answers, she figured she was just being paranoid and maybe they wouldn't suspect a thing.
"Why ask her?" Marco blurted before she could give her answer. "Is she pregnant?"
"Your mother" Kira shot back and the whole class fell into a wave of "Oh's" and laughs while Marco glared in her direction.
"Alright, alright guys enough" Tommy said, settling the class again that morning before turning back to his protégé. "Kira?" he asked once more, trying to get back on topic.
"Right well, there's food, clothes, shelter, diapers, doctor's visits, hair care, babysitting if you need it, um, and a whole bunch of other stuff I can't think of."
"Right" Tommy agreed. "And like I said, a baby is for life, and when they grow older, it's only going to get worse. You've got tuition, dental care, toys, broken arms, broken legs, cavities, field trips and eventually college. And not to mention you've got to take care of yourself too."
"Wow" came from some of the students in the class, as they hadn't really thought about all the expenses a baby could bring.
"Hopefully that will be something you guys can think about, before you have unprotected sex." He said. "God willing something like this happens, it isn't cheap."
A hand went in the air, indicating a question wanted to be asked and Tommy acknowledged the students right away. "Yes James?"
"So uh, what if we've got rich folks and they're willing to pay for everything?" he asked.
"Well then, I guess I'll have to show you another responsibility you'll have" he said. "Guys, welcome to the joys of parenthood, which is not all about paying for everything but involves child nurturing as well."
"Starting with joy number one…………………" And he couldn't have picked a better timing for joy number one either for a foul and putrid smell just waved against his nose. It was the smell that could only belong to; a smelly diaper. "Oh, gross" he murmured to himself, scrunching up his nose in disgust and holding Austin away from him. "Changing a diaper."
A chorus of eww's rang though the class and a few of them event went so far as to putting a two finger pinch to their nose.
Ethan's hand went up in the air and Tommy acknowledged him as well. "Ethan?"
"Ya um, Dr. Oliver, not to criticize your teaching methods or anything but, shouldn't joy number one be, learning how to hold him correctly or something?" the game nerd asked.
"Ya I know but the smell of this thing is killing me" Tommy replied and Ethan made a horrid face as well. "Any volunteers?"
No hands went up.
There was no way that anyone was going to willingly get up there and change that soiled thing unless there was a cash prize involved.
"Oh c'mon guys" Tommy said. "There has to be someone in here who knows how" Still no hands went up in the air. "I'll through in 10 points extra credit on your next test" he offered.
Still no hands.
"Twenty points"
No hands.
"Oh c'mon guys" Tommy said. "I'm not going any farther than twenty"
"I thought you were supposed to be teaching us?" Conner said and the class laughed again while Tommy glared. He was about to reprimand Conner for his comment until a much more punishable idea popped into his head.
"Thank you Conner for volunteering" he said and the red ranger's mouth fell open while the class laughed harder.
"No, no, I didn't volunteer!" Conner protested and Tommy only gave him that evil smile which only crossed his face every blue moon or two.
"Nope sorry, to late. Get your butt up here and change his diaper" he said
"Dr. Oliver" Conner whined, dragging himself out of his chair and walking to the front of the classroom as slow as possible. "C'mon Dr. O, I'm pretty sure I saw Trent raise his hand"
"Nope"
"Ok maybe Kira wants to do it"
"Not uh"
"What about Cassidy? She loves babies"
"Eww gross, I'm not touching that drool ball!" Cassidy wailed and Tommy only handed Conner the smelly baby once he reached the front.
Conner held him lengthways, right under the armpits and stretched out from his body. "Ew, I can smell it from here!" he complained and the class laughed some more.
"Alright Conner, since you're our demonstrator, could you please tell us what comes first?"
Conner stopped his fake gagging reactions and class humor attempts to answer Tommy's question. "Uh, you get that changing pad thingy, I don't know what it's called."
"A changing mat, very good." Tommy said while he grabbed the Pooh Bear imprinted changing mat from the diaper bag and laid it on the desk. "Now what?"
"A gas mask and a pair of tongs?" Conner said and more class laughter ensued.
"Conner"
"Ok, ok, you gotta' put him on the mat, and be careful of his head" the red ranger said, gently laying Austin on the changing mat and holding his head carefully until it was safely on the cushion.
"Very, very good. You know I underestimated you Conner." Tommy said. "You know a lot more than I give you credit for." he added with a little chuckle and it was Conner's turn to glare at him.
"You know Dr. O, if I wasn't so fatigued from this smell that's coming out of his diaper, then I'd be upset from that insult."
Tommy chuckled some more. "Less talk, more changing. Now what comes next?"
"Uh, you gotta, get the new diaper and the wipes, preferably with Aloe Vera for sensitive skin" he said grabbing the two items from the bag.
"What are you, Mother Theresa?" Derek, a comate of Conner's asked and the class laughed yet again; what a fun lesson this was turning out to be.
Conner glared in his direction and rolled his eyes before unbuttoning the bottom buttons on Austin's onesies, one by one. "No num-nuts" he replied to his soccer mate. "My sister has a kid and I used to baby-sit all the time"
"Whatever Dude"
"Alright, let's focus less on the insults and more on what your doing." Tommy said, redirecting the demonstrator's attention back to the task at hand. "What's next?"
"Uh…….opening the diaper" he replied, looking unsurely at the diaper that was staring back up at him.
"Good" Tommy replied.
"Uh, can I wash my hands first?" he asked.
"Sure" Tommy said and the jock made his way over to the sink and began to wash his hands diligently, whistling a merry little tune to himself as he went.
The process of washing his hands really took longer than expected as Conner was trying to reach every nook and cranny of his fingers and palms.
"Conner seriously" Tommy interrupted. "While we're still young"
"Hold on" he whined, rinsing his hands free of soap and grabbing a paper towel to dry them. "I want to make sure there's zero germs on them before I proceed" he said, earning a few giggles from his class act.
Tossing the paper towel in the garbage he came back to the desk and exchanged looks with Tommy, the diaper and the baby before looking at his teacher again.
"Gloves?" he asked and Tommy's lip line drew flat.
"This is not surgery, this is changing a diaper"
"That's not chocolate in there!" and the whole classroom erupted in laughter leaving Tommy to rub his temples from the headache he was receiving.
"Conner please"
"Ok, ok" he said, stepping in front of the baby and slowly and carefully beginning to peel of the tabs. "Alright squirt, if you pee on me, then I'll use you for a human soccer ball" he warned baby Austin who was beginning to grow a little uncomfortable from his full diaper and therefore was beginning to whine and squirm a little bit. "Ok calm down little buddy, I was only joking" he said finally getting both tabs off and releasing the diaper.
Finally confronting the smell of the diaper head on, Conner had to take a step back from the grossness and waved a hand wildly in front of his nose to try and rid of the smell. "Oh my God that thing stinks!" he cried and the class laughed again, this time teacher included while they watched the jock attempt to finish the task in front of him.
"Christ kid, what did you have for breakfast, fertilizer?" he asked and more laugher erupted.
"Conner, finish please" Tommy said, shaking his own chuckles away. "Austin isn't to happy about this"
"And he shouldn't be." He replied. "That thing is ripe!"
Holding up his two little legs and removing the dirty pamper, Conner quickly grabbed a baby wipe and mopped his bottom spotless with a total of four wipes, just to make sure it was squeaky clean before slipping on another diaper and closing Austin's onesie, back the way it was.
"There" he said using the tabs of the dirty diaper to seal it shut and picking up Austin into his arms. "All clean"
The class responded with a round of applause and being the class clown he was, Conner bowed and fanned his eyes like he was about to cry, holding baby Austin like he was an Emmy.
"Oh my God, thank you, thank you." He said sniffling for a little effect. "I want to thank baby Austin for making this possible, um, Dr. Oliver for giving me this opportunity, and uh, Diapers and Diapers you're a great company and, just all the fans who voted for me, thank you so much" he said and more applause followed along with a few laughs.
"Alright you, that's enough, back to you're seat" Tommy said and Conner laughed at himself.
"Hey Dr. O, do I still get extra credit for this?" he asked and Tommy pondered this for a moment before responding.
"I'll toss in five points"
"Five points! After I went through all that, you're only going to give me five points?"
"Yep"
"But you offered twenty!"
"You didn't even finish properly, the dirty diaper is still on my desk."
"But I………………..hey I vote we put it in Randall's mailbox, what do you think Dr. O?" he suggested forgetting completely about the extra credit.
"Conner, give me the baby."
…………………………………..
