Disclaimer: Same as always. Not mine.
Chapter ten
Once I was sure Spike was sleeping soundly, I extricated myself from his embrace and headed back upstairs. I was pleased to note that it was going to be a sunny day, which meant that Spike wouldn't be able to leave his apartment. We wouldn't have to worry about him disappearing again.
It looked like everybody had decided to spend the night. There were bodies here and there throughout the house, curled up in slumber. I taped a note to the fridge that said "GET BLOOD!", then went upstairs and passed out in my bed.
When I stumbled into the kitchen later that morning, Bob was making pancakes for everybody. "We declared today a holiday," he told me. "No school or work". I nodded my agreement. Who could focus on anything but Spike's arrival at the moment?
I turned to Andrew. "Hey boss, I'm not going to work today".
"Oh! Heh, yeah," he said. "Hey, me either!"
Of course, I usually worked from home, so it wasn't that much of a difference. The difference was all the other people at home too.
Our full house reminded me of the days when we'd all lived together in Sunnydale. The bustle of so many people was pleasant, though, not jarring and overwhelming like our last few months in Sunnydale had been.
When I had a plate of pancakes, Willow spoke. "I take it Spike is still all amnesia-ish, then?"
I shrugged. "He seems a little more together than last time, but he's definitely not himself".
"I have some things I'd like to try on him later today, if that's ok with you?"
What will you do if she heals him? my mind whispered. I ignored it, and nodded firmly. "Yes. Let's try to get him fixed up". I didn't look at Bob. I was afraid to see his expression.
The rest of the morning was spent shopping for Spike. Dawn went with me.
We began with a blood supplier that was approved of by my council. They were certified 'humane', which meant that the human blood was willingly donated, surplus stock which they purchased on the QT from organizations like the Red Cross. Vampires healed faster with human blood. I didn't know if Spike's broken mind was akin to a physical wound, but I guessed it couldn't hurt to try.
Slayer blood would be even better I thought, but decided not to pursue that idea for now. I didn't want to encourage Spike to associate me with food.
We stopped at the butcher next, where I arranged a standing weekly order of pig's blood. After that, we visited the local magic shop for supplies for Willow, adding Burba weed when Dawn remembered how he'd always stolen it from Anya to spice up his blood.
The grocery store was our next stop. We walked up and down the aisles, grabbing foods and giggling as we remembered all the crazy things Spike liked to eat. We paused in the liquor aisle, gazing at the bottles of whiskey, but I shook my head. "We don't exactly know how booze will affect him. Better not take the chance," I decided.
When we'd piled the groceries into the car, I looked at my watch. "I think we have time for the mall," I said.
"Ooh, shopping!" Dawn clapped. "For what?"
"I gave away almost all his clothes," I confessed guiltily. "After Bob and I were married. I only kept a few shirts".
"Buffy, you shouldn't feel bad about that. It had been years by then," Dawn tried to comfort me. "Besides, how hard will it be to replace his wardrobe? Black tshirt, black tshirt, black tshirt, red button down shirt, black tshirt. Add a couple pairs of black jeans and we're done!"
I chuckled. "Maybe we could give him a makeover," I said mischievously. "Do you think he'd even notice?"
"I'm picturing him in tweed suits," Dawn suggested, sniggering. "Or how about super-baggy jeans and hoodie sweatshirts!"
"I'm thinking business casual. Some nice Chinos and crisp white shirts".
"Or how about redneck style? Cammo pants and a wife beater?" she guffawed.
"Polyester pants and Hawaiian shirts!" I gasped, unable to even form a full sentence. We held each other up, shaking with laughter.
"So... jeans and tshirts?" I said when we'd recovered.
"Probably for the best," she replied. "If he came to his senses and found himself in anything else, he might kill us".
It was well into the afternoon by the time we returned home. Annie and her cousins were playing the back yard. The men were watching some superhero movie, Xander and Andrew arguing over whether it was cannon with the comics.
Willow sat at her laptop, researching. She looked up. "Oh good! You're back!" She shut the laptop down. "I wanted to try one of the spells before it got too late, so I would have time to figure out what to try next".
"Give me a mo and then we'll do it". I glanced at the clock. "Spike's probably hungry by now, anyhow".
I went into the living room and cuddled up to Bob. He shifted so I was in his arms. "Hey lover," I whispered in his ear. I was determined to make sure Bob felt the love. Our marriage had always been a priority for us, and I needed to remind myself of that.
Bob turned so he could see my face, searching for something. After a bit, he kissed me softly. "Get the things you needed, honey?"
"Not yet," I smirked, nibbling on his lips.
His breath hitched. He glanced at the others in the room, who were oblivious. "You want...?"
I sighed. "Willow wants me first. Uh, I mean, needs my help," I stammered. I looked back at his lips. "Just... you know. Missed you".
"Ah," he said as I stood up. "Tease". I gave him a little butt wiggle, and he slapped my rear.
Willow popped her head into the room. "Ready Buff?" All eyes turned to her. "I'm just going to need Buffy for this". She looked down at her book. "And I think Xander".
"Scooby Power!" he crowed.
"What about me?" Billy asked.
"Not yet," Willow said. "I want to keep things as simple as possible". Billy turned back to Andrew to continue the conversation about the movie.
When we stepped outside, I took both their hands in mine. I didn't remember the last time we'd done that, and it felt great. I beamed at them, and it evolved into a group hug. We held on tightly.
Xander straightened up, running his hands through his hair. "Tell me, did my gray hairs go away, because I suddenly feel years younger".
"Sorry, Xand. Time marches on," I told him.
He looked at me closely. "Not for you though. You're a perpetual 29. It's just not fair".
I shrugged. "You know the deal. Previously unknown Slayer perk. If you make it to 25, you get a shiny reward. I'm just the first one to ever do it, so it wasn't included in the brochure".
"I'm not sure that's it, Buffster," Xander argued. "Faith and the others still seem to be aging, just very slowly".
I shrugged again. "Andrew thinks it's because I'm the original Slayer so I got all the mojo. My personal theory is that it has something to do with the whole resurrection thingie. And anyhow, we don't actually know what the deal is. This eternal youth thing might turn off one day, and then I'll become really ancient overnight".
"Whoa, can you imagine? You and Bob will say goodnight, all snuggly-wugglied up, and then in the morning - AAAHHHH!" Willow waved her hands in mock fright.
"And on that note... we have the actual creature of eternal youth to deal with". I went to the car and lifted out the purchases I'd made. "You guys enjoy the sun for a minute while I put this stuff away and get Spike up".
Heading downstairs, I listened, but didn't hear any noise. I slid the food and blood into the little fridge, pouring one bag of blood into a mug and heating in the microwave. When it was done, I walked over to the couch and knelt by Spike's head. He looked peaceful, like a fallen angel.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and used it to take a picture. Ha, got you now!
Spike's lips trembled with unheard words. Unable to resist, I brushed my lips against his. They were as soft and cool as I remembered. My throat constricted, joy at his return and grief at the fact that he was still lost to me battling in my heart. I stroked his hair and whispered, "Wake up, sleepy".
His eyes popped open. They riveted on me briefly, glazed over, and refocused again. His hand moved out to trace my lips as he licked his own. Stupid vampire senses. I moved back, trying to control my raging emotions. I realized I had his food in my hand, and held it between us like a shield. "Hungry?" I wafted the mug under his nose.
Spike looked down at the cup, surprised. I grabbed his hand and wrapped it around the handle. "Eat. I have more if you're still hungry". He brought the cup slowly to the mouth and sipped, then gulped the rest in obvious delight. When he was finished, he began to stare at me again.
I babbled, "Want more?" I took the cup from him and moved back to the fridge, getting out another packet to heat. When it was ready, I set it on the counter and went to the stairs. "Guys?" I called out.
I turned back to Spike, who had moved to stand in the middle of the room. "Willow and Xander are going to come visit you, ok? They want to say hi. They've missed you too". I could hear them coming down the stairs. Spike looked over to see what the noise was.
While the others stood expectantly at the bottom, I watched Spike. He didn't seem bothered by their sudden appearance, but he also didn't seem to be interested in performing his greeting ritual from the night before.
Willow moved first. "Spike," she began, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a loose hug. "I'm happy to see you". Spike gave her a little sniff, and then stood there patiently until she let him go.
Xander was next. "Fang man!" he said jovially. He patted Spike's back in a manly greeting. "I've missed you buddy!" Spike cocked his head at Xander, then thumped him on the back of the shoulder in return. Except he used his full strength, and Xander went stumbling. "I'll take that as a 'glad to see you too'," he said.
I handed Spike his cup, and he drained it in three long gulps, then handed it back to me, his face expectant. "Do you want more?" I asked him, holding up another bag. He actually wriggled.
"Oh my, he's so cute!" Willow giggled.
"I know. Like a puppy," I told her. "It's going to be hard not to treat him like a pet".
Xander reached over and scratched Spike on the back of the head. "Who's a good little doggy?" he cooed. Spike turned and glared at him. "Or not!" he said, backing off, hands up in surrender.
When Spike seemed to be full, I sat on the couch, and he sat next to my feet, draping his arm over my knees, watching Willow and Xander blankly.
"That's a little bit creepy, Buffy," Xander said.
"Isn't it? I feel so bad. If Spike could see himself like this, he'd wig".
Willow sat down cross-legged, then patted the floor for us to follow. "Let's see what we can do about it," she said.
Apparently she couldn't do anything about it. At least, not yet, she assured me. "Don't worry, I've got something else to try tomorrow". She left, saying she needed to get some supplies and do some research.
Xander left too. "I need to take the family home," he said. "Lives to live, school and work wait," he apologized.
"Let me know when you're ready to leave, I'll come say goodbye," I told him.
Spike and I sat in silence. I wondered if he would want somebody to keep him company all the time. I didn't want him to get bored and wander off. I wondered if he would still enjoy television.
I looked at him and tried to imagine how he'd spent the last 15 years of his life. We knew he'd travelled through Colorado and probably the Midwest, preying on livestock. What had he done with rest of his time? I drew a big blank. What would he want to do now?
Now that he was here, I didn't know what to do with him.
That night, after everybody had left but Willow, the rest of my family joined me in Spike's apartment. Annie scrunched her face up. "He's not as big as I remember".
"That's because you're bigger," Billy told her.
Spike seemed to be as taken with Annie as he was with the rest of us. Billy had prepared her for it, so this time the sniffing didn't bother her at all. "It tickles," was all she said.
Not sure what to do, we turned the television on and watched a movie. Spike seemed entranced by the pictures, but he didn't appear to be following the movie at all. Whenever one of us gasped or giggled, he'd turn and stare at us in curiosity.
When it got late, I asked Billy if he wanted to stay up with Spike. He agreed readily. "Don't go to sleep," I warned him. "If you think you can't stay awake, leave. Come get me if it's still a long time until dawn".
"Do you really think we need to worry?" he asked.
"No," I answered, "but you never know. We can't forget he's a vampire, even if he seems harmless".
We left them sitting companionably side-by-side on the couch, watching TV.
When Annie was asleep, I made good on my promise to Bob.
"You don't have to prove anything to me, honey," he said after.
"I know," I told him sleepily. "I wanted to show you how much I love you".
I just have to prove it to myself.
You wouldn't think life could settle into a routine so easily following such a highly-anticipated event, but it did.
None of Willow's efforts yielded any improvement in Spike, but she wasn't discouraged. The reactions he'd given to the spells were "encouraging" she pronounced. "More research! Books never fail us!"
She was so positive, I didn't point out the times when research had indeed failed. After all, the first miracle had come to pass. Why not another?
We found that Spike was more than capable of taking care of himself. He seldom remembered to heat up his blood, but he could certainly feed himself. After I showed him the shower, he used it every few days, and he changed his clothes fairly frequently based on the piles scattered around his apartment.
We didn't have to be with him constantly, either. He was content to be by himself when we couldn't occupy him. He'd watch TV or listen to music. Often he'd just sit quietly.
One evening I caught him leaving the house. Instead of stopping him, I followed at a distance to see what he would do. All he did was walk through town, occasionally running short distances, as if he had energy to burn. Well, it made sense, given that he'd been rather sedentary since he'd arrived.
When he was awake, though, usually somebody was visiting with him. I'd play home movies of Billy's childhood, or Bob would watch TV with him. Billy unboxed Spike's CDs that I'd saved, and listened to them with him. Annie wasn't allowed to visit Spike by herself, but she'd go with us and use him to practice having an audience for her poetry recitations, or her lines in a play. Sometimes Dawn's family would come over, and we'd all go downstairs and play cards while he sat with us.
If it was a pleasant evening, we'd take him out in the car, for walks along the beach, or in the park. He went willingly, no matter what we were doing.
Sometimes we'd have to go out without Spike, and we'd come home to find him sitting on the front porch, waiting for us. Billy or I would sit next to him, quietly, looking into the dark, and I would be reminded of our time on the back porch in Sunnydale.
No matter who he was with, however, Spike always felt the need to be touching us. If you sat at his little table, he'd sit at your feet, chin on your knee. If you were on the couch, you got the full snuggle treatment.
After a few times of being cuddled up to, Bob stopped sitting on the couch.
If we took Spike on a walk, he'd hold one hand in each of his, or put his arm around my waist.
If I stroked his head or caressed his arm, he'd close his eyes in bliss and give his rumbly purr. No matter what, he was always happy to see us. He wouldn't settle down until he'd sniffed us over or nuzzled our necks.
It really was hard not to treat him like a dog. I often found myself scratching behind his ears. Whenever I caught myself doing it, I'd stop and give him a long description of my day at work, or the latest political scandal. Naturally, it was a one-sided conversation, so I'd have to imagine his responses. Spike was always very rude and snarky inside my head.
For a couple of years now, I'd been taking Billy to patrol with me a few times a month. I was made for the hunt, and while I never put myself in danger, I got incredibly antsy if I didn't expunge some energy slaying. With his enhanced stamina, Billy enjoyed it too.
One day, we decided to take Spike along and see how he fared. He'd always loved a good brawl, and I thought it might help with his need for movement.
When we came upon a pack of zompires, Spike cocked his head and stared at them without any real sign of interest, so I asked Billy to look after him and dove into the fray. Within moments, Spike was at my side, throwing punches with a look of gleeful abandon.
Unfortunately, he was no longer a very skillful fighter. In fact, he pretty much sucked, and so we had to devote a good portion of our attention to his safety.
Still, when it was over, he was so obviously thrilled to have been part of the fight that we brought him along thereafter.
As time went on, we simply accepted Spike the way he way. He was, without a doubt, happy. He rarely ever showed signs of distress. And as that evil part of my mind reminded me, it was nice to have Spike back in my life without having to choose between him and my husband.
I found that as I spent time with him, his presence no longer dredged up old emotions, and after awhile, I stopped desiring more.
Very rarely, when we cuddled on his couch, his hands would drift to inappropriate places, or his lips would move from my neck and try to brush against my lips, but it was easy to deflect him. He never intended anything more than to express his affection for me, and after the first few times, I automatically redirected his attention without even realizing it.
It must have been obvious to Bob when my feelings about Spike's presence clarified and settled down, because he became more at ease too. I stopped feeling like I had to prove my affection for my husband, and just let it come naturally.
A few months had passed since Spike had begun to live with us and my tenth wedding anniversary was this weekend. I had booked a room at a popular inn almost a year ago, before Spike's return, and I didn't know what to do.
"Go!" Dawn encouraged me over the phone. "We'll stay at your house and babysit. You need to do this".
"The kids don't really need a sitter if you don't want to...".
"I was thinking more of the cellar dweller," Dawn answered.
"I don't know," I whined. "Maybe we should just stay the one night". The original reservation was for two nights. I had really been looking forward to it. The inn had themed rooms, and you had to make reservations months and sometimes years in advance.
"Buffy!" Dawn admonished. "You've got the reservations for the Arabian Nights suite. You've got the sexy belly dancer clothes. You've learned the sexy belly dance, which is guaranteed to make your husband's eyes bug out of his head. You're going".
"All right," I huffed. "You're so bossy!"
"Learned it from the best!" she teased.
Bob's eyes did indeed bug out of his head. In fact, he enjoyed my little act so much that the next time both kids were away at sleepovers, I decided to surprise him with it again.
He came home from work in the early evening hours, and I met him at the door, bejeweled and scarved. He looked behind him to make sure no neighbors had seen me, then moved inside and quickly shut the door, trembling slightly. I preened to myself, enjoying how affected he was.
I peered up at him demurely from beneath lowered lashes, and whispered sultrily, "Your dinner is ready sire," then turned and swayed into the dining room.
The bags in Bob's hands crashed to the floor and he hurried after me, but instead of being seated as I bade him to do, he spun me around, and pulled me hard against his body, kissing me hungrily. The tiny bells on my clothes and my anklets tinkled in response. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and pressed up against him. My thin clothes didn't leave much to imagination.
Our lovemaking tended toward sweet and satisfying, rather than wild and spontaneous, but tonight was an exception. In a scene worthy of movie romance, Bob swept the table clean, and sat me upon it. Good thing I hadn't put the food out yet I thought fuzzily. But then he kissed me more passionately than he'd ever kissed me before, and I forgot everything else.
Bob quickly lost all of his clothing, and I was bare except for my jewelry and veils. He climbed onto the table after me, and knowing the kids weren't home to hear, I let myself go, moaning and keening my delight at his touch. Before long, I found myself at the other end of the table, my head hanging off of it, looking at the upside down world outside the window.
I felt an orgasm coming on, and grabbed onto Bob's arms, shutting my eyes tightly. Bob, usually so quiet, encouraged me loudly. "Come on Buffy, that's it honey, come for me sweet girl!" His words brought on my release, and I screamed loudly, then lay back, eyes still shut.
He quickened his pace, and I could tell he was close. All of a sudden, I heard a loud growl reverberating in the room. Bob froze, and I lifted my head and looked at him. He face was frozen in shock, eyes glued to the window, mouth a perfect 'O' of surprise. I dropped my head and gazed out the window, upside down.
The first thing I saw was fangs inside a snarling mouth. Huh? my hazy mind tried to process. Then I saw the yellowed eyes, glaring in at us in fury. Vampire?
Everything snapped into focus.
Spikeroared with outrage, clawing desperately at the window, trying to get in.