Yeah I started writing this chapter pretty quickly after updating the last one. Huh…not sure why.

Disclaimer: Own nothing I do

Happy chapter ten!

"All right! Just one more to go." Lloyd grinned, congratulating Sheena as she walked away from the altar.

"Yes, just one more…" Raine said.

"Yeah-…you know, I've been thinking though." Lloyd frowned a bit.

"Wow trying something new, Bud?"

"Hah hah." Their ignoble leader rolled his eyes. "But I mean…when we broke the Light Seal in Sylvarant, Luna was telling us that she wanted us to find Aska, right? So we're going to have to find Aska first before we can make the pact with Luna, aren't we?"

"Oh yeah, that's a good point." Genis frowned. "How are we going to go about doing that?"

"Perhaps we should discuss this one we are all safely out," Regal spoke up. "This isn't the most ideal place for a conversation."

"I agree, this place gives me the creeps," Sheena shuddered. "Let's get back outside."

"Right." Lloyd nodded. "Okay- wait, is everyone all right? That was a pretty tough fight."

Everyone chimed in their responses, reaching the consensus that they were all in good shape. That was except for Kratos who stood at the back of the group, masking that he was breathing heavily.

"Dad?" Lloyd spoke up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Kratos said quickly. "Just a little tired. Let's go."

The red-clad teen seemed to debate something for a second before nodding, turning and leading his friends back up the way they came. Kratos brought up the back of the group as they headed back up the stairs-

The stairs. So many damn stairs, his legs were aching. He'd been through this temple before when he had escorted other Chosen from Tethe'alla on their own regeneration journeys; he did not remember them being this arduous in the least. The monsters were harder than he recalled as well, and Shadow- for the love of the gods, if he had had his angelic capabilities he could've downed him in a few well aimed angelic spells, but no, instead he spent the entire time running about, doing basically ineffectual damage with a blade in between his intervals of speedcasting healings and attacks. It sapped the mana right out of him, so if the damn stairs weren't enough now there was his lack of mana- and why hadn't he returned to his normal breathing pattern yet-? Were the stairs swaying or was he imagining things?

Could it be…he had pushed himself too hard? Was that it? He had pushed his limits, something he had constantly told Lloyd to be wary of, and he had done it himself? But he had barely contributed as it was! Then again, he reminded himself, this wasn't an angelic body, it wasn't even a young non-angelic body. It felt like his muscles ached to his very bones, the wound he had taken a few days prior in his shoulder still ached as well. Being old was such a hassle, why on Earth had he wished for this-? No, just calm down, he told himself. He was being irritable because he was tired, he knew, that was it, just keep up with the group and rest when you get out-

Then he missed the step.

He fell forward and slammed down onto his bad shoulder, unable to stop himself from letting out a short shout of pain. The man growled under his breath, teeth gritted as he attempted to push himself back to his feet, though he already heard the others coming.

"Are you okay-?"

"I'm fine," he said instantly. "I just-"

He forced himself up only for his aching body to scream in protest, and then he fell forward again, passing out before he fell into his son's arms.

Lloyd frowned, adjusting the blanket around the elder man's shoulders. It was getting dark so it'd get cold and the last thing they'd need was for him to get sick too.

"Lloyd, I told you, he's just tired," Raine sighed. "He pushed himself too hard."

"…Is that my fault?" Lloyd frowned, his fingers curling a bit as he looked at the unconscious man.

"What?" Raine looked at him. "Lloyd don't be ridiculous, he knew his own limits, it was his own fault-"

"I should've noticed," Lloyd said flatly, frowning. "I never notice. I didn't notice when Colette was pushing herself, I never notice…dammit."

Raine frowned, eying her student and then the exhausted older swordsman that had yet to stir. She had assured Lloyd that he would be fine with a little rest, but the teen didn't seem to be consoled.

"Professor…can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Raine looked back at him.

"I've…been thinking a lot, lately." Lloyd frowned, his eyes downcast. "I mean- so many things have happened lately, you know? Not just with…him, but…since this journey started."

"Yes, a lot has happened," Raine agreed, but waited for him to continue.

Lloyd stared at the ground a moment before getting to his feet, glancing down at his father and then meeting Raine's eyes.

"I keep messing up," he said after a moment, a weak, sad smile on his face. "I just keep messing up, don't I? First the village, then Marble, then Colette went through all that and…"

He sighed, rubbing his face.

"I just…keep trying to do things right, you know? I keep trying to do what'll keep everyone safe, so no one else gets hurt because of something I do or…"

"Lloyd," Raine said. "I told you, this wasn't your fault-"

"But him getting hurt with Sylph was my fault," he countered. "If I had been paying more attention he wouldn't have done that. Even if it wasn't my fault, I still should have noticed! I should notice when my friends are suffering or having a hard time, if I can't, how can I possibly protect them?"

"Lloyd-"

"I just keep making mistakes...I keep trying to do things right so no one gets hurt, so I can protect people, but how can I when I can't even realize that they're suffering right in front of me?"

The teen groaned, rubbing his face and letting out another low sigh. Raine fell silent, but he really didn't need her to answer. He knew she was right, he knew it wasn't his fault and she'd tell him that getting upset and worrying wasn't going to help anything. She was right, he knew that.

"Sorry, Professor," he said when he looked up. "I guess I've just been thinking about it a long time and I hadn't told anyone so-…heh, I'm a hypocrite again."

"No, you're stressed," Raine replied. "And it's completely understandable. Look, just go try to relax, if it'll make you feel better I'll stay close by Richard in case he wakes up."

"Thanks, Professor." Lloyd smiled a bit. "You're right, I just need to clear my head a bit…"

Raine nodded and Lloyd walked off, glancing back once before forcing his gaze away. While he still felt guilty he did know that wouldn't change anything. Besides, the Professor said he was just tired, so it's not like he was going to die or anything. That and…

An unpleasant chill crept up his spine and he quickly looked around, trying to find something he could do around camp. The Professor was right, he was stressed, that's why he was worrying about so many things lately, that's why he kept-…

Richard…his father…his 'Dad'- that is, his other dad. He remembered what he'd told Colette once, about how she should just consider herself lucky for having more than most people and really…he did consider himself lucky, it was weird, but he'd get used to it.

At least, he would have by now, if it wasn't for… Why? Why did he keep doing stuff like that? What he'd told him last night, that- that was too much like that bastard angel, it was- it was wrong. How could his father and that traitor mercenary be that much alike? It all seemed like some kind of big joke. It was stupid, after all Kratos was never anything remotely like a dad-

"Your parents care only that you are well."

He flinched, shaking his head and the memory away. Well okay once in a while he said something KINDA like that but…

"Don't die, Lloyd."

What the hell kind of thing was that to say to someone anyway? Especially someone you were going to try to kill- …it didn't make sense. Nothing Kratos did made any sense to begin with, though. Still, he was probably just imagining-…but they- …their eyes were kinda the same- well, that was just the eyes.

Though their voices were kinda…

Lloyd shook his head with a growl, heading a ways from the camp and drawing his swords. If he trained a bit he'd get his mind off this, he was just antsy, so if he trained for a while he'd relax. That's what he told himself anyway.

The teen took his stance, giving over the 'steps' in his head to prepare his stance before deciding what he should work on. Well there wasn't that much he could do without a sparring partner in terms of defense, maybe he'd just work on his footwork. That's what Richard had mentioned last time. 'You always have to make sure you're balanced-'

"You're off balance. If you're off balance you're nothing except something to knock over. You must always be balanced."

He stubbornly forced the memory out of his head, trying to recall what Richard had told him the other day. Lloyd went through a few of the motions, taking care with how he stepped, making sure he never ended up with his back to the imaginary 'enemy'.

'Never turn your back' he had said 'Isn't that the first thing I taught- the first thing you learned?'

Taught. He had said taught- just a slip-

"The first and most vital thing I'll teach you, if you don't' remember anything else, remember this. Never turn your back."

Well that was a basic, that was one of the 'fundamentals'. Of course they'd both tell him the same thing then but- 'taught', that word, that ….why had he said-? It was just a mix-up of words. Had to be. What else could it be?

"Always keep a clear head."

That one- wait which one had said that? He shook a bit, trying to recall the voice- but their voices…their voices were the same. No. No they couldn't be, that didn't make any sense! How could their voices possibly- they just kinda sounded a like, since they were both deep like that. That was all-

"Be ever judicious, Lloyd."

What did that even mean! Judicious- he couldn't' even use words he knew! S- Sure he'd asked Raine after but-…it still didn't make sense! Ever judicious…

Of what exactly- what was he supposed to think-?

"Lloyd."

His blood ran cold, feeling his throat tighten at the sound of his name, at the sound of that voice. That voice-

"Lloyd…don't die-"

He span around on reflex, the point of his sword going to the jugular of the man as his heart began to pound in his ears. That man, that Seraph, that traitor-!

"…" Kratos frowned, looking at the sword and then up to meet Lloyd's gaze.

It wasn't him.

Lloyd quickly pulled the sword back, breathing hard, trying to hide the tremble that had worked into his body.

"I- Dad, I'm sorry, I-" he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I thought I heard- I thought you were someone else."

He took another deep breath, rubbing his face. What the hell was wrong with him? He'd been so wrapped up in those thoughts that he'd pulled the blade on his own father. That's it; he had to stop thinking about this, he'd gotten so riled up he had…

"It's fine," Kratos said, frowning a bit. "Are you all right?"

"I- Yeah," he said quickly, nodding. "Sorry, I was just….thinking. Are you okay? I'm sorry, you just startled me, kinda… Are you feeling better?"

Lloyd sheathed his swords as the elder man gave a short nod.

"Yes." Kratos frowned, glancing away. "I-…I had been careless. I apologize for having slowed you all down."

"No no, it's all right." Lloyd smiled gently, walking forward. "We should've given you some time to rest. I guess we were just in a hurry and stuff…"

His words trailed off and they were left standing before each other in silence. Kratos merely stared off to the side and Lloyd shifted anxiously.

"Uh- well, the next pact is for Luna and Aska," Lloyd said, eager to break the tension. "So we're going to go back to Sylvarant. The Professor wants to find this guy named Nova we met before, he knows a lot about Aska."

"I see," Kratos said. "That will be the final pact then…"

"Yeah." Lloyd nodded, smiling a bit more. "Isn't it great? Soon both worlds won't have to sacrifice one another anymore, and there won't be any more Chosen like Colette that have to suffer for it."

Kratos scanned the teen and once again Lloyd fidgeted, unsure why he kept getting so tense.

"What?"

"I have a question for you," Kratos replied. "Say that we make the pact, and all the links are broken...what if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong? What will you do?"

Lloyd frowned. Why was he asking this all of a sudden? Then again, he had been pretty skeptical about it before they had left Sylvarant…

"You mean like, what if it doesn't work?"

Kratos nodded.

"What will you do, Lloyd, if what you wish for doesn't happen? What will you do if you hit a dead-end, or worse, if something goes wrong?"

"I…." Lloyd frowned, unconsciously rubbing the exsphere on his hand. "What will I do? I guess…"

The teen pondered just a moment, then nodded once, confirming his thoughts to himself.

"I'll find another way, if it doesn't work I'll find a way that does work, and if I can't find that way I'll make it." He smiled, a determined spark in his eyes. "I won't give up, I can't. I mean, all that I can do- all that anyone can do I guess- is to just keep going, as long as you're alive you have to keep going, you can't just sit there and die- well…I guess you could, but why? What'd be the point in that, y'know? So…if it doesn't work, I'll find another way, simple as that."

"And what if something goes wrong? What if someone gets hurt, or you do more harm than good?"

Lloyd hesitated, going silent again. It was like the village, he thought…like Iselia. He had been trying to help, trying to do some good and instead he had just… Well, he wasn't going to let that happen again. He wasn't going to let anyone get-...

"I'm not going to let it happen," Lloyd spoke up. "But…you're not asking me that, are you? You're asking if it does happen… I…"

"Yes, even if you try the best you can, sometimes things simply go wrong, Lloyd." Kratos stated, frowning a bit. "Even if you do all you can, things can go wrong, things can fall apart. It's good to want to prevent them to begin with, but-"

"But it's just as important as to know what you do when they happen?" Lloyd asked, looking to the man for his answer.

Kratos blinked, scanning his son. The frown on his face deepened, his brow furrowing. Lloyd noted that but dismissed it quickly, continuing with his own thoughts.

"Well…if you're always afraid of messing up, you're never going to try, even when it turns out it's something that'll do a lot of good, y'know?" Lloyd mused, patting the side of his leg as he shifted his weight. "So…it's stupid not to try just because you're afraid you're going to mess up. Still…if I do mess up, then I guess…I do the best I can to fix it, and that I take responsibility for it."

"Heh," Kratos smirked after a moment. "Your mother would be proud of you."

Lloyd blinked and then laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You think? I mean…really?"

"Yes," Kratos said, a weak smile forming on his face. "She was always…a bit of an idealist. I suppose you get it from her...she'd be very happy to see the kind of person you grew up to be."

She would have, he knew. Lloyd smiled at him and then they both headed back to camp, Lloyd jabbering away about something or another, as if the biggest thing on his mind now was whatever Genis had cooked for dinner. Kratos merely agreed here and there, letting him ramble on. While he really didn't care much for what he was saying, he was glad to be the one Lloyd was rambling to. What he had said….what he had said reminded him much of that night after the Fire Seal, now that he thought about it. Even then Lloyd had claimed responsibility for what had happened, and while he knew he son still carried that guilt, from this point it looked as if the boy had only grown from it.

Good…he was a strong-hearted young man, he was far stronger than he was, for certain… Accepting responsibility, hm…

It was good, he decided, that Lloyd thought like that. That way even if he failed, he wouldn't completely lose himself. Kratos was confident of that fact, now, and…perhaps a little more assured that when the time came, if it did come, to entrust the sword to him, that… That he wouldn't be crushed by the death of his-…'father'.

The phrasing in his own head seemed…unpleasant. Truly, both ways he was his father, so really there should be no reason that the idea made him uncomfortable. Still….

No, there were more important matters at hand. The final pact…he did recall the zoologist, Nova, and all that his family had told the group about Aska. It only seemed natural that they would head to see him then, he might have found out more about the secondary spirit of light. Though…while they had not managed to find anything against it, the idea of severing the links did not sit well with him. What was it he was overlooking? It couldn't be this easy, could it? While he did hope things went as Lloyd wished, he couldn't bring himself to believe they would. Perhaps he should try to stop them once more? But what could he do? They were already convinced, they would dismiss his doubts. That only left the option of trying to stop them by force…which was impossible. In his normal state, it would have been relatively easy, but as he was…

There wasn't anything he could do, but perhaps…perhaps Lloyd was right. That it was pointless not to attempt anything because of fear of failure-…feh…

If only the world really worked like that…

And the chapter is updated :D …been a while since I updated the same fic twice in a row, huh? Weird…oh well, hope you like it