Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers and therefore can never make a character after me, nor will I ever be a shameless self insertion. Though I think out of all the characters I would have been Lina. And while my body type is the exact opposite of hers, heavyset with big boobs, I still would love to throw Fireballs and Dragon Slaves around whenever I was pissed. Oh to be an anime chick, even a small breasted one.

"Come on Amelia. You can do it! Push!" Zelgadis cried out as Amelia's contractions got closer together.

"What do you think I'm doing, you rock-headed lump of coal!" Amelia shouted in response. "It bloody hurts!"

Zelgadis was taken aback in shock, both by Amelia's language and the fact that she had just insulted him. What was worse was that she continued in that same vein.

"You try squeezing two huge boulders for twins out of a hole the size of cobble and then tell me to push, you incompetent, pointy eared chimera! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this bloody position giving birth to your rock-skinned, wire-haired children! If you had never come back I would never have felt the need to marry you and I wouldn't be suffering like this-

Zelgadis sat bolt upright in bed with sweat pouring down his face as he woke from another terrible nightmare. He looked to his right. His wife was curled up next to his body, her arms wrapped tightly about his right arm. He placed his hand to his forehead, trying to shake the words from his memory. The idea of his Amelia giving birth to monsters like him scared him, and his nightmares had gotten worse with every night the closer to term she came. He sighed and lay back down, studying his lovely wife.

"Bad dreams again, love?" Her sweet voice betrayed her concern, despite her own exhaustion. And he wished he wouldn't keep waking her up; his nightmares were bad enough, he shouldn't have to keep her up as well. He nodded slowly, before responding in the affirmative. She only held him tighter, her grasp on him proof enough that she loved him with all her soul. "They aren't true. I'm still here, and I still love you. The babies won't be monsters, and they will be beautiful no matter what."

Despite her reassurances, he couldn't believe her, for he knew what he and his children were. His worst dream yet had been when Amelia was split in half by his brood. He had watched the entire preceding, as blood spilled forth from Amelia's split body, her face contorted in fear and pain. And two huge demons had crawled out. They had almost killed him too, but he managed to wake in time. And through all his dreams he had been helpless and the cause of all the pain.

"I'm going to get some coffee. I can't sleep. And I can't keep you up like this. You need your rest."

Amelia opened her eyes and looked at him with all the love she possessed. "I do love you Zelgadis. And despite the fact that the little ones are restless I really am doing very well. You need not concern yourself too much. Everything will be fine. We have a bunch of healers and one very devoted midwife. If anything does happen, we have Sylphiel too, and she's been watching me like a hawk. Morning is only a few hours away. I'll be up…" she yawned loudly, "soon."

Zelgadis smiled, caressed her face and kissed her cheek. "I love you my wife. Sleep as best you can. I'll see you when you get up."

She nodded once, and was asleep as soon as her face hit the pillow. Zelgadis sighed and headed towards the palace kitchens, coffee being the only savior for his lack of sleep. He passed no one on his wanderings. He created a mage light and started searching for the strongest brew in the kitchen. After fifteen minutes of searching he found the small stockpile the head chef reserved just for his cravings. A few minutes later he had a large pot brewing, and a few minutes after that he had a steaming cup of spine tingling coffee. He downed it in a gulp that would have impressed Naga, and grabbed both pot and cup and headed to the Dowager tower. It would still be a few more hours before any servants were up and about and he had some reading to do.

He reached the highest room in the tower, locked the door behind him and settled down for some heavy reading. Lina's vague descriptions of what was going on with the Mazoku, the fact that she had been possessed by the Lady of Nightmares twice now, and now her new need to leave as soon as the twins were born were bothering him, though not as much as his own dreams. The moment Lina had started her Good Samaritan duties while the castle was being fixed, he headed toward all the libraries she had visited and the ones she hadn't. Being Prince Consort gave him more clout with the librarians and he was able to access books that not even Lina had been told about. He decided that depending on their content, he may or may not tell her of them, considering how deceptive she had been to her own friends.

He poured another cup of coffee and slowly drank this as he opened the first book. He knew why these books were hardly mentioned. Not only did they have powerful and sometimes evil magicks in them, but they also spoke of races that no longer existed; races far older than the elves and even the ancient dragons as hard as that was to believe. The entire history of their world was very vague and misrepresented. He sometimes wondered if Lina actually knew about all this as she often knew about so much, or if she was just as ignorant as the rest of them. It'd be frightening indeed if Lina really knew all this too. So he continued reading, going through the books faster than he had when looking for his cure. Two hours had passed when he realized he was out of coffee and that he really had to go to the bathroom. He looked out the window. To the east the sky was beginning to lighten. Some of the servants would be up now. He'd be able to get refills on his coffee quicker.

When he returned with a fresh pot of coffee he found Xellos lazing about in his seat. He inwardly fumed, but decided to try the approach that Lina was using. Piss Xellos off first.

Life is wonderful. Keep repeating that in your head.

"And what do you want Xellos?"

"Just wondering why you haven't told Lina about any of this?" His hand gestured to the pile of half read books.

"She was no longer searching from what I recall. The Lady is with her now apparently so she no longer needs any information that I may gather. Plus, she piqued my curiosity. Why should I tell her about things that may not interest her, but interest me?"

"Hmph."

It was working! Life is wonderful!

Zelgadis decided to sit down. It might piss Xellos off even more if he seemed relaxed.

"Then what are you doing, skulking about in the tallest tower in the early hours of the morning reading them? It seems to me that you're hiding a great find. Are you that jealous of knowledge?"

Shit.

That was a good interpretation, though not completely correct. "I can't sleep as of late."

Xellos sighed. "Parental jitters. You'll get over them when the brats are born."

"Like you would know."

Damn it. He was losing his edge.

Xellos smiled.

Even worse.

"Though I may have never produced any children on my own, I have produced many Mazoku, so in a way, I do know of the suspense that you are feeling."

Zelgadis frowned, surprised at this new piece of information, and was even more surprised that Xellos let it slip.

Was he getting senile in his old age?

"If you've produced more Mazoku, why can't you just do that now?"

Xellos sighed and went back to flipping pages in the book he had been looking at. "It's not as easy as that. I did that in my early days, when I was a young Mazoku full of limitless power, or at least what I thought was limitless power. It takes a lot of energy to produce a child of any sort, be it human, dragon or Mazoku. It takes even more patience to train the little monsters. All of my productions, not being of my supreme caliber, got themselves killed in the Great War. Idiots. Even I knew to use my power from a distance, but they went headlong into battle."

Zelgadis was absolutely stunned. "Why are you telling me all this?"

Xellos shook his head. "I hate being attached to a human. Amelia told Lina about your stupid nightmares right?"

Zelgadis nodded, not sure of how to respond.

"And Lina hasn't been able to do much to make you feel better about them, has she?"

Zelgadis shook his head, once again unsure of how to respond. Was Xellos actually trying to… comfort him?

Life was so not wonderful.

"Well, I have no idea why she told me, as if I'm her counselor." Xellos grumbled something unintelligible for a few moments before continuing. "Listen to what I have to say because I refuse to repeat myself. I'm already a laughingstock. Comforting a human, I am not meant for this."

"Before you shame us both, let's not and say you did." Zelgadis raised his hands in a surrendering position.

Xellos brightened as he brought the book down. "Agreed."

"So you actually have had children then?"

"In a way, I suppose you could say so. As I said, they were extremely disappointing."

"Maybe your expectations were too high."

"I'd say your expectations are too low."

"That's a low blow."

"You're the one having pansy ass nightmares."

Zelgadis felt like breathing a sigh of relief. He could handle Xellos better this way. He at least knew what to expect.

"Yes, well, look at me. I am a nightmare." He set that one up on purpose. He wanted to make sure Xellos was back to normal for certain.

"I don't know," Xellos said as he batted his eyes and quickly became a very feminine and sexy version of the Xellos that Zelgadis was used to seeing. His voice had changed as well to a sultry female as she replied, "Most Mazoku when attempting to look human don't look as good as you do. And I love how all Mazoku look. You'd make a great Mazoku, by the way." She batted her eyes again as she turned back into the normal version of Xellos.

"Gah! Don't ever do that again! I'm gonna have another set of nightmares now. After my monsters for children are born, Amelia will die and you'll be hitting on me as both a male and a female. Gah!"

Xellos chuckled. "You won't ever have to worry about that Zelgadis. While I like your pure maligned anger at me, I don't want you. The only human I desire is Lina. Besides if I ever tried to take you from Amelia, she'd kill me with her love and happiness and justice crap.

"Why do you want Lina anyway?"

"Her power is incredible, even for a human. And the fact that the Lady has had Her eye on her since she was a wee babe doesn't hurt either."

"So you want her power."

"Come now Zelgadis. Despite all appearances that I can make, I am a man and I do have needs as much as the next."

"What about Gourry?"

Xellos sighed. "If she didn't love the dolt…"

"You'd wipe him off the face of the earth?"

"That or give him to that little bint that says 'Gourry dear' all the time."

"You want her that much?"

Xellos opened his eyes and gave Zelgadis a deep stare. "As much as you wanted power, and as much as you want a cure combined, and then ten-fold. Yes, I want her. For my own."

"Does she realize that?"

Xellos shrugged and closed his eyes. "Maybe, maybe not. One thing I have learned is to be patient. And I'll wait as long as I have to, to get what belongs to me."

AN: Okay, so no babies this chapter. I thought they would be here too, but then this came out instead. Sorry, but at least I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and am attempting to finish this much delayed story. Thanks for pushing me forward Crystal Moon 13!

Eyes those knives very suspiciously.