House in a Hospital
Past-2 years after Michigan
"You lucky son of bitch," John slapped him on the back, "I heard you got the Graham fellowship."
"Was there ever any doubt?" House responded smugly.
"Come on, House! This is Isaac Graham, the world's leading authority on infectious disease. Even you have to be a little excited," John nudged him in the rips.
"It isn't that amazing," he grumbled taking a sip of beer.
"Man, if I got it, I'd be on the bar proclaiming my own greatness," John raised his beer in salute to himself.
"Some of us don't need to speak our own praises," House smirked knowing his reputation was already well known.
"Ever so humble," John replied sarcastically, "When do you leave for California?"
There was a pause and brief silence before House answered. He simply said, "I'm not."
"What? What do you mean you're not?" John questioned incredulously.
"I turned it down. I'm staying at Hopkins," he answered staring down at the bar.
"Are you nuts?! What the hell at Hopkins would make you turn down the opportunity to study with the one doctor that you don't think is an idiot?" John yelled reeling from his decision.
"Drothiers in Nephrology offered me slot. I took it," House responded chugged the rest of his beer.
"The asshole?!" John gasped surprised even more, "You gave up Graham for Drothiers. You are crazy, man. Absolutely fucking nuts!"
"It's a part of my brilliance," he grinned with a mad glint in his eyes. Grabbing his jacket, House headed towards the door thanking John for the buying drinks.
Present
When she heard a soft rap on her door, Cuddy looked up to see who needed her attention. She couldn't stop her mouth from falling open in shock but quickly recovered snapping it shut. Waving House into her office, she motioned for him to take a seat. He settled into the seat clasping both hands on the top of his cane.
"Dr. House," she greeted him dryly.
"Cuddy," he responded staring her down.
"For the terms of your employment, the board and your team were informed that you were suspended for the last two months for that outburst in the reception area regarding me. You wrote a formal letter of apology explaining your deep regret for the incident, your mental distress over the loss of a fellow, and your actions to seek help for that distress. Here's the letter. Sign it," she placed the letter in front of him holding out a pen. He glanced down at the letter and pen for a moment. Staring her down with an icy look for a few minutes, he finally reached forward and signed the sheet without breaking his look. The sound of the pen resonated through her office when he dropped it on the desk.
"Dr. Wilson summarized your problems with the pain medication and treatment program at Mayfair. I will need to discuss the specifics of your treatment with the physicians" she continued sliding the letter into a disturbingly thick personnel file.
"They sent a letter. All the information you need is in there," he sneered pulling out an envelope from his coat pocket and throwing on her desk.
"After I speak to them, I need to consult with our lawyers to make sure your license is in order. Once we have everything cleared, your hospital privileges and practice will be restored," she opened the letter to verify the contents.
"But…" House rolled his eyes wishing she would just deliver the bad news already.
"You will be required to give blood samples every 14 days. This can be done by either Dr. Wilson or me. If any opiates found in your system, you will be immediately suspended," she gave him a hard look to emphasize her words, "From here on out, I will be your physician. All personal prescriptions have to have my approval to be filled. You will maintain a physical therapy and pain management program."
The last condition drew his attention. He raised an eyebrow as he assessed her. What was she doing? He knew her motives were not just to protect the hospital.
"What about my department?" he focused on the one topic that he cared about.
She took a deep breath and delivered the bomb, "Diagnostics is not longer your department."
"Great!" he scoffed, "Dad's away for a couple months, and the whole house falls apart."
The irony of his words was not lost on her. A familiar look of guilt clouded her features. She continued the salvo of news, "Foreman is the interim head of Diagnostics. Things need to be addressed before we can consider who should run the department."
"I think you mean before I return to running my department," he finally showed some anger.
"Like it or not, House. Foreman is good. He can do your job without the issues you cause," Cuddy responded truthfully.
"Why not fire me now, Boss?" he glared drawing out the last word.
"For the time being, you are categorized as a professor and consultant to the Diagnostics department," she finished the arrangements of his job.
"Cuddy, why won't you fire me?" he pushed softening his look.
"For the first time in ten years, you're not on pain meds. You don't have this chip on your shoulder interfering with your ability to practice medicine. That was the man I hired. He was my best doctor. I want to see him again," she spoke in a pleading voice.
"What if I'm not that guy anymore?" he asked.
"I may doubt many things about you, but I never doubt your ability to be a doctor," she answered sincerely.
House nodded. He signed forms where she pointed. When they finished, he got to his feet and went to the door. Opening the door, he turned back to Cuddy. She was busy shuffling forms and organizing his file. Suddenly, he asked on impulse, "How have you been?"
Looking surprised, she fumbled to respond, "Good. Rachel called me 'Mama' a few days ago."
His interest suddenly intently went to his cane. He responded, "That's it?"
"No," she smiled knowingly.
Past
"Hello," Cuddy answered the phone cheerfully as she organized the mass of books and notes before her.
"What are you wearing?" House greeted trying to sound seductive.
"You miss me," she answered proudly.
"Wrong. I'm horny. I miss watching you drag that gigantic ass down the hall," he replied annoyed.
"I miss you, too," she responded in a snide tone.
"You could actually stop acting like an anal retentive, compulsively obsessed perfectionist and come sex me up for a few days," he said playfully.
"12 more days," Cuddy reminded him of their prearranged reunion date.
"But mom!" he whined, "Little House wants to come out and play now!"
"I'm nothing like your mother," she grumbled hating his high pitched tone.
"I know," he smirked naughtily.
"Are you going to spend the entire time trying to get me to have phone sex when you know it will never happen?" Cuddy asked.
"Pretty much," he said honestly.
"Tell about the Graham fellowship. I know you heard about it this week," she demanded.
"Nothing to tell," he deflected.
"What do you mean? You got it, right?" she urged anxiously.
"No," he sighed frustrated.
"They're idiots. You're the best resident at JH. They don't deserve your genius if they can't see it," she ranted angrily.
"Let it go, Cuddy. There's nothing to worry about," he shrugged it off.
"What happens now? Where will you go next year?" she inquired in a small frightened voice.
"Hopkins. I'm doing a fellowship with Drothiers," he answered.
"Nephrology? Not what I expected, but it's nice to hear we'll still be close" she said cautiously.
"Yeah," he responded sounding resigned.
"My blue robe," she blurted out.
"What?" he asked confused.
"You asked me what I was wearing. I'm in my blue robe," she said shyly.
"You suck at this. You're supposed to say that you're naked," he criticized her.
"Maybe I don't have anything on underneath," she taunted in a deep, rich voice.
"Seriously?" House squeaked baffled and excited by her response.
"No. I'm wearing that burgundy lace thong you love," she replied huskily.
"Oh god," he breathed as he pictured this scene mentally. He asked suddenly suspicious "Wait! Is this pity phone sex?"
"Does it matter?" she teased.
"Not really," he responded after a minute of thought, "on one condition."
"What?" Cuddy asked sounding a little breathless.
"No faking it. You have to do what I say. That includes touching yourself, Cuddy," he commanded.
"I already am," she confessed followed by a soft moan.
"Oh gawd!" he gulped.
Present
Wilson stopped dead in his tracks bewildered by the sight in front of him. He checked his watch to confirm that it was seven in the morning. A moment later, he stood next to his friend. House was staring at the name on his office door. Gregory House, M.D. had been replaced by Eric Foreman, M.D. Wilson wrapped his arm around his shoulder and coaxed him around the corner to his office.
"Are you okay?" Wilson asked a little afraid to know the answer.
"I will be as soon as I figure out how to take out the black Benedict Arnold," House answered looking lost in thought on the couch.
"Yeah…I had similar thoughts when I first saw it. Turns out that Foreman didn't even know about the change till he saw the door. It was Cuddy," Wilson rambled feeling relief to have someone to gossip with again. His relief was short-lived when he saw the anger on House's face. Wilson immediately began to rationalize, "Whatever you're thinking, stop. She already feels terrible. It was a 12 on the guilt scale."
"Really," he smiled wickedly, "I could use this to my advantage."
"You know I think she would actually welcome the chaos. Cuddy has been micromanaging since you left. It's driving the staff crazy," he admitted.
"Glad to know I was missed," he sneered.
"I thought you wanted Cuddy to miss you," Wilson smiled.
"I didn't think she'd give my job away," he confessed.
"Don't underestimate Cuddy. She's sacrificed a lot for you in the past," Wilson insisted.