Big Decisions
The Next Morning...
I woke up very early that morning, the sun hadn't risen yet. I took out my cellphone and dialed Josh.
"Yes, ojou-sama?" he was awake, barely.
"Josh, I need to go somewhere, anywhere. I need to get away from this house." I knew I sounded desperate, I didn't care.
"Right away, ojou-sama. I'll bring the car to the main gate." he knew better than to ask any questions.
I showered and got ready as quickly as I could, grabbed my school bag and walked out the front door, closing it quietly behind me. I ran to the car. Once inside, Josh sped up and we put the great mansion behind us. Only then did he ask, "Are you okay, ojou-sama?"
"It's a very long story, Josh. I just need to get away."
"That's okay, but school doesn't start for another 2 hours or so." he said, gesturing to my uniform. "Where would you like to go in the meantime?"
"Somewhere I can watch the sun rise in peace."
"I know just the place." he smiled, and drove the rest of the way in silence.
We arrived at the park. Josh walked with me in silence, keeping his distance, but close enough just in case. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the lake, the same lake I fell into when I was little.
I remembered it bigger and scarier, but right now with its still waters reflecting the sun that was starting to rise, it was just what I needed. I looked behind me at Josh, wondering if Josh knew the irony of this moment. He smiled and bowed his head respectfully.
I took off my shoes and ran towards those unmoving waters.
I cried, not because of everything I had learned yesterday, but because, for the first time in my life, I could freely think of my future. I was healthy, nothing could hold me back, not even mother.
I thought of my poor mother, and silently forgave her for lying. I also forgave myself, as I wrote my dad a text. I knew he would wake up very soon.
My cellphone rang. It was my dad, figures.
"Dad." I asnwered, keeping my voice devoid of any emotion.
"Mitsuko, are you sure of this?" he asked.
"Yes."
"We really love you a lot, baby, and if this is what you really want then I'll arrange for it."
"Thank you, daddy." I said, I knew my voice cracked a little.
"This is a big decision, Mitsuko. Still, I understand you completely, and probably would've done the same being in your shoes."
"I love you, daddy."
"I love you too. Have a great day at school."
"I will, bye" And with that I threw the cellphone into the lake.
I erased everything from my mind, everything but the twins. I could never take those eyes out of my mind. The mischievous grins, the pleading eyes they had given me yesterday. I sat on a bench that overlooked the lake, trying to figure out my feelings about Hikaru and Kaoru. Two hours passed and I had nothing.
Josh dropped me off at the front gate of the school, I was not surprised to see the twins waiting for me there. I walked up to them, and said "We need to talk."
"We thought you were going to run away again." they said at the same time. "Come"
They led me to the third music room, the Host Club. It seemed like a weird place to talk about serious matters, and just as if they read my mind, they said "There are no club activities yet, it's empty." Every time the spoke in unison, the hairs on the back of my head stood up straight, this time I wasn't sure it was in a bad way.
Once we were inside I sat on the same love seat I had sat on the first time I came here. I waited for them to say something, I was not expecting what they did next.
They kneeled at my feet, each grabbing one of my hands. "I'm sorry" they both said.
"But you didn't push me." I said.
Kaoru looked me in the eyes, a mixture of anger and sadness in his face. "We didn't! But I let go of your hand. I got scared! It was as I pushed you myself! I protected Hikaru, but I couldn't protect you!" he looked like he was about to cry.
"Kaoru, stop, it is my fault too. I let go of your hand too, Mitsuko. If we'd both kept hold of you, you wouldn't have fallen into the lake!" Hikaru said.
I squeezed both their hands, they looked at me. "There is nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident." I smiled at them, tears in my eyes. They looked surprised, they hugged my legs.
"We like you a lot, Mitsuko" they said
"I don't want to be apart from you again" Hikaru said.
"Me neither." Kaoru said.
"Then don't." I said, and the second it came out, I knew I meant it. I wasn't scared anymore, I wanted to be close to them.
They sat on each side of me, and wrapped their arms around me. Mischievous grins back on their faces. "Did you know, Mitsuko? We're veery good at sharing." Hikaru said.
Kaoru, on the other hand, didn't use words. He just kissed me, taking ownership of my lips. Meanwhile, Hikaru seized the opportunity to bury his face in my hair and kissed my neck. I was paralized, not from fear but something else, something I've never felt before. It wasn't until Hikaru's hand went under my dress that I realized what we were doing. I broke the kiss with Kaoru.
"G-guys? Don't you think we're going a bit too fast?" I asked.
"No, I don't think so. Do you, Kaoru?" Hikaru said, as he wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on top of mine, reminding me of how small I was.
"Nope." Kaoru said, kissing my cheek gently.
"Well, I do think we're going way too fast." I said, as I untangled myself from them. "We should be heading to class. We're late." I got up and started walking, feeling confident they would fall into step anytime now. And they did, I just wasn't expecting them to each grab hold of one of my hands as we walked back to the classroom together.