I pushed back the window at the sound of a car pulling up. "She's here!" I whirled around and grabbed Joe's arm. He trailed behind me as we weaved through the house. I pushed open the door to reveal Nicole. She waved.
"I thought you didn't trust her?" Joe asked, raising an eyebrow.
"If I started avoiding everyone I didn't trust, you would be the only person I ever talked to," I told him. I walked up to the convertible and leaned on the door. "Thanks for coming, Nicole."
"I'm glad you called, I was afraid you two had left already." She motioned for me to get in. "Come on, we're going to be late."
"Late?" Joe asked.
Nicole smiled up at him. "For the party, of course! Everyone is excited to meet you both." I pulled on the door, and Nicole reached over to slide it back.
"Ooh, fancy," I said with a laugh. I motioned for Joe to get in first. It was a two-seater, so I was going to have to sit in his lap.
"This car is gorgeous," I told her, running my hand across the dash as I hopped in.
"Do you want to drive it?" She asked, eyes twinkling.
I grimaced. "No, no. I prefer to be driven," I told her. "I don't even have a license."
Joe squeezed my waist. "Lottie's high maintenance."
I leaned away from him to give him a look. Nicole laughed as she hit the gas. "I am so not high maintenance, stop lying." I took a ribbon off my wrist, and tied back my hair.
The front door flew open, and Silvia ran out. "Josef! Wait, come back!" She shouted after us.
"Go, go, go!" I urged Nicole. She sped out of the driveway and I watched over Joe's shoulder as Silvia stopped at the gate.
I wrapped my arms around Joe's neck and kissed his cheek. "Running away from home?" Nicole asked.
"Something like that," Joe said. Once we were out the neighborhood it got too loud for anyone to be heard over the wind. The view was gorgeous, though, so I didn't mind. Eventually the city disappeared from view as we entered the forest.
I heard the party before we emerged in the clearing. Good music spilled from the lodge. I let my hair down as Nicole parked. A girl in high-waisted shorts and a bustier walked by as I was opening the car door, two shirtless guys joined her. I felt overdressed.
"Who are these people?" I asked as I walked around the front of the car. My eyes landed on a couple that were sitting on a motorcycle and making out.
"The future of the Reich," Nicole said. "Just like us." She linked her arm through mine and pulled me toward the crowd. She led me to one of the picnic tables and poured a few glasses from a pitcher.
"What is that?" Joe asked.
"Poison," Nicole said deadpan. She took a swig. "Lemonade and gin, I believe." She handed us each a glass. "Are all New Yorkers this boring? Come on live a little! We're only getting started."
I took a big gulp from my drink. "Very heavy handed with the gin. Exactly what I look for in a Tom Collins."
Nicole looked at Joe as if to say, "See, Charlotte gets it!" He shook his head at me, but accepted the glass.
"Gisèle!" A man shouted, as we headed toward the building. "Wait, Gisèle!" Nicole frowned and glanced over her shoulder. The dark haired man pushed past her and stopped in front of me. "It is you, heiliger scheisse!"
"I'm sorry, I don't know you," I told him. I looked at Nicole for help.
"Oh, you're American," he realized. "I apologize, you looked like a girl I used to know."
Nicole grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. "That was very odd." She glanced around the room. It was cozy for such a large space. There was a huge fireplace and large comfortable looking sofas and chairs. "Wait here, I'll find Hans and Monika." Nicole disappeared into the crowd.
Joe looked at me curiously. "Did you know that guy?"
I glanced out the window, but he was long gone. "Athena did once," I admitted.
"He called you Gisèle, what was that about?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Did you think I went by Athena in the field? That would be a little obvious, hmm? I met him when I was still training with the SD. I hadn't found my niche yet. Gisèle was a French girl, studying in Berlin. It was a one night mission, I had to get a file from his father." I paused. "I had to convince him to take me home. I broke into the study while everyone was sleeping and slipped out without anyone noticing. Apparently I left an impression."
"By convince you mean-"
I held up a hand. "I had a life before you, Joe. I don't do missions like that anymore."
"Here we are!" Nicole said cheerfully. A dark haired girl wearing a beret and dark lipstick stood beside her. "Monika, meet Joe and Charlotte."
Monika smiled, and stepped toward us. "Are you ready for tonight?" she asked, taking my hands. "Ready to dive into the depths of our chaotic interiors. They say that's where the secrets of the world lie. Personally I believe the secrets lie in nature, but who I am to argue with scientists."
Joe and I shared a confused look. "Monika, don't scare off our guests," Nicole chided. Monika waved her away and looked at Joe and I expectantly. I had a feeling I was being tested in some way.
"Interior and exterior ought to be in equilibrium, don't you think? I mean, without knowing our world, how can we know ourselves?" I mused.
Monika clutched my hands tight and then whirled back around to face Nicole. "You were right, Nicki. I love them already." Joe looked at me and I shrugged.
A tall blonde guy joined us. He kissed Nicole on the cheek in greeting. "What're we talking about?" He asked.
"Environmentalism," Nicole said dismissively. "You know how Monika gets, Hans. You could sit her in front of a statue and she'd talk it's ear off for ages. We don't need to concern ourselves with it," she teased.
"We should all be concerned with the environment," Hans reprimanded. "You know, they're talking of stemming the Mediterranean. Actually, I believe Reichsminister Heusmann is heading up the project." Hans looked at Joe pointedly as he offered him a beer. Nicole looked embarrassed by her friends
"I don't know anything about it," Joe said.
"You mean Atlantropa?" I asked. Hans nodded. "I've heard about it. It sounds like a terrible idea. Doesn't the world have enough land as it is? We don't need to change the things nature has given us." I shrugged. "But, what do I know? I only took one ecology class for my degree."
"I'd love to hear more, about your degree and your opinions on Atlantropa," Hans said. He put an arm around my shoulder and steered me toward the couches.
"When I said she'd like my friends, I thought she'd be laughing at them," Nicole mumbled behind me. "Not encouraging them." I glanced over my shoulder and winked at her. She shook her head amused.
OoOoO
By sunset we had all settled in together by the fireplace. Nicole was snuggled up with Hans. They appeared to be quite close, despite her disapproving of his politics. Joe and I sat across from them. I leaned against his chest, with my legs pulled up on the couch. I felt warm and cozy, I wasn't sure how much of that was the fire and how much was the gin.
Monika spun around before landing on the ground next to me. She folded her arms on my knees and laid her head on top of them. "Do you have any experience with drugs?" She asked us.
"What kind of drugs?" Joe asked her.
"Lysergic acid," Hans said. "Have you done it?"
"Yeah, a few times," I said. Joe looked down at me surprised. I didn't explain that it hadn't exactly been recreationally.
Nicole withdrew a glass vial from her pocket. "My father's biggest seller. He only supplies it to the military, but I have my ways."
"Our parents' generation uses it for mind control," Hans explained. "Interrogating prisoners, for example."
I nodded. It was a preferred interrogation technique these days. My training had included building a tolerance to it. I held out my hand. Nicole gave me a knowing look as she tapped out an extra cube into my hand. I wasn't sure this would even be enough, but turning them down made me look like a bore. I popped them under my tongue and then glanced at Joe. "Your turn."
He looked at me for a moment. "We'll be here the whole time, don't worry," Nicole said. Finally he nodded and held out his hand, Monika gave him a cube. He took it and we all smiled.
"See you on the other side," Monika said. She lay her head back down on my knee, and I got comfortable again.
Joe leaned close to my ear. "How do you know-"
"Relax for a minute," I whispered. "You'll know."
After a while, I could tell it was working. Colors were more vibrant and the music felt like it was twisting around me in spirals. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I needed to look over my shoulder. I was safe. I was surrounded by friends.
Monika stood up and cast off her coat. She danced around the couch, swaying with the music. Her shadow seemed to separate itself from her and do a duet. She leaned over the couch and kissed me on the cheek. "Au revior, mon ami."
"You speak French?" She twirled and walked away, with a laugh that sounded like bells.
Joe sat up and looked around. At first he focused on the other people, a girl on a trapeze swung over our heads. Then he jumped, looking frightened. I didn't know what he was seeing, but he was obviously feeling the effects more than I was. "Joe, hey, look at me." I put a hand on his cheek. His eyes locked with mine, and his tension drained away. "You're okay, I'm here."
He put both his hands on my cheeks and pulled me toward him. Our lips crushed together. It was frantic and messy but I'd never felt so connected. "God, I love you, Lottie," he whispered as his lips trailed down my neck. Over his shoulder, I found Nicole leading Hans upstairs. We made eye contact and she winked.
OoOoO
I woke up on the balcony the next morning. Joe was next to me, still asleep. Hands tapped my shoulder, and I jumped. "Sorry," Nicole whispered. "I saw that you were awake. Do you want breakfast?"
"Maybe just a croissant and a mimosa?" I asked. She laughed but nodded. "And a cigarette," I whispered as she turned away.
"Oh, naturally, I assumed that was a given."
After a moment, I got up. I moved Joe's arm, careful not to wake him. I followed Nicole inside. She handed me a saucer with a croissant as I walked into the sunroom. It was empty, other than us, but the mess indicated everyone else had already come and gone. She looked me up and down as she made two mimosas. "Of the two of you, I figured it would be Joe who woke up half dressed. But, he managed to find his pants."
I looked down; I was in my underwear and Monika's coat. "Oh, no, this was a very conscious choice. I spent the whole night feeling overdressed." I motioned at my outfit. "Fixed that."
Nicole laughed and handed me a glass. "You fit in here, Monika and Hans adore you," she said. "Joe too, of course." We both glanced out on the balcony where he slept. "How was his first trip?"
"Well, he was definitely hallucinating," I told her. "And he really wanted me to know that I'd opened his eyes, whatever that meant. He kept promising he was going to be better and he must have told me he loved me at least a dozen times."
"Oh, swoon," she said putting her hand over her heart. "Hans and I had sex, then he told me how further space travel would compromise our environment." I laughed so loud I was sure I had woken Joe up. "You picked a good one."
"Yeah, I did." I took a cigarette from her case and lit up. "It hasn't always been easy. My dad was hell bent on keeping us apart, but we never let that stop us. You know, I thought I'd ruined everything. I'm the one who needs to be better, not him. I kept a huge secret from; I don't know how he looked past it."
"That you're a spy?" She asked, as she took a drag from her cigarette. I stared at her blankly. "Oh please, I saw all the signs. Your German is impeccable, I've never met another American who can adopt the accent of whoever she's speaking to. Then there was that guy who recognized you; he was dead set on you being Gisèle. But it was the drug tolerance that sealed the deal." She topped off my glass. "It also helps that I'm friends with Vesta."
I frowned. "Vesta is from Roman mythology, Keres is Greek."
She looked surprised. "Greek? Oh, you're first class then. Interesting, I didn't know they were recruiting Americans back then."
"I didn't realize there was more than one class, I thought they canceled the program."
She shook her head. "Nope, they've been working at perfecting the program for years. I heard a rumor that they're on Valkyrie now, supposedly they're going to have the largest graduating class yet."
"As in, the least number of casualties along the way," I clarified. She nodded gravely. "Was Vesta here last night?" I asked, not wanting to think about my fallen friends.
"No, she's been working a mission with the Reichstag. If you stick around Berlin for a while, I'll make sure you meet her." I frowned. "Hey, don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. I know how important it is to keep that secret. It's safe with me." She nodded outside. "I think Joe's awake. I'll take you back to Heusmann's when he's ready." She looked me up and down again and shook her head amused. "Meet me downstairs, I'm going to go find your pants."