I'm back!

I know, I know, I took too long. I'll be better, I promise.

Have some Edward today, though! (:

Never say never

My brain wouldn't shut off.

I lie awake in my bed, my phone resting in my hand. It was still dimly glowing from when I replied to Bella and made sure to press on the screen before it could shut off completely. I don't really know why I kept it on, but I felt safer knowing that I had some sort of connection with her.

Maybe I was hoping for her to reply? I don't know. All I did know was that later on in the morning I'll be so vulnerable that it's almost sad.

This plan of mine is really risky. I know that. I shouldn't have just said that to Tanya to get her off my back. But what else was I supposed to do? Bella was standing right there, and all I knew was that it was the perfect plan to distance myself from Tanya.

Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think Bella would agree to this. I know that I wouldn't have.

Have you ever thought that maybe Bella is selfless? Or that she just feels sorry for you?

The latter, please. That's my final answer.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my overly tired eyes. I normally never sleep because of my dreams, but now it's because I'm too anxious.

How will I ever pull this off? I'm not capable of showing those affectionate feelings again. My poor heart can't possibly take it, especially now after what Tanya did to it. She practically ripped it right from my chest, crushing what was left of it in the palm of her hand.

My eyes began to water as my bottom lip trembled. The breath I took in was shaky because I was trying my hardest to keep in the sobs. Every time that I would think about this my heart breaks even more. I keep putting myself in this torture for no reason; I've decided to let her go. But… I can't.

Just then, my phone vibrated in my hand. I lifted it up so I could read it with hopeful eyes.

Good night, Edward. I'll be waiting for my kiss bright and early, so pucker up. ;) – Bella

A laugh bubbled up out of my chest as a smile spread wide across my face. All of my thoughts of Tanya were completely erased and disfigured by a brown-eyed beauty with luscious long hair and a curvaceous body. Her laugh is infectious and her smile brings warmth to my heart.

And I finally fell asleep, my dream starring that beautiful girl who made everything better.

x-x-x-x-x

"So… you and Bella?" Jasper asked while we took our seats in the cafeteria. When we walked away from Alice and Bella we never really got the chance to talk, and now as we waited for the two, I guess he saw it fit to ask.

I smiled, just like any guy would in the honeymoon stage. "Yeah… I mean, it's nothing official, but I like her. A lot, man."

Jasper gaped at me, his eyes wide.

"What?"

"You're not lying."

I nodded to him.

Jasper gasped. "Holy shit! Edward, you're capable of feeling something again! Praise Jesus!"

His yell captured the attention of all the tables surrounding us. All of the people sitting around us started to point and whisper, causing me to glare. I turned my glare towards Jazz and noticed his wide grin.

I smacked Jasper in the chest, hard. "Shutthefuckup!"

"Ow, mothe- What the hell?" he asked while rubbing his chest.

I shrugged and bit off a piece of my pizza. "Don't saf yoo din't deserf it."

"English, dude."

I swallowed. "I said, don't say you didn't deserve it, you ass hat."

Jasper smiled and chuckled, all while watching me with careful eyes. I continued to glare as I continued to eat, not really sure on what I should say to make him look for his girlfriend. It wasn't like she was here to save me from this because she'd just do the same thing he is. I swear, those two don't know when to shut it.

Finally, Jasper picked up his sandwich and started to eat. I relaxed after noticing that his eyes moved away from me, letting out a big breath. This was harder than I thought, and I thought kissing Bella's forehead was hard.

I really am way in over my head here…

"So, what made you fall for the girl?" Jasper asked while pulling the crust off his bread. "Was it her looks, or her awesome personality?"

"It was her personality," I replied, getting this weird feeling in my chest. It almost felt like what I was stating was true… but… what?

Focus, man. Bella's not really that into you like that. And neither are you. Remember?

Right, yeah. Focused.

"Ah, I know what you mean," Jazz commented. "Alice hooked me in with that crazy personality of hers. Let's just say that it never gets tiring with her, if you know what I mean."

I stopped chewing and turned to face him, my eyes turning into slits. Jasper's eyes grew wide.

"What?"

"That's. My. Cousin," I hissed out. "That's what."

"Oh, shit…"

"Yeah. Fucker."

And I punched the fucker. Right in his good arm.

"FUCKIN' SHIT!"

Satisfied smirk? Yeah, it's on my face.

"Hey! Why'd you punch him?"

Oh, hey Alice. Didn't see ya there.

I shrugged and picked my pizza back up. "He was talking about your guys' sex life, and I did not need to hear about it, so I punched him. I didn't see anything wrong with it."

Alice glared as she sat down across from Jasper. "Jerk."

But I didn't care. Because the beautiful girl from my dream last night sat down beside me, pulling her chair close to mine. She smiled at me as I leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Hey," I whispered to her when I pulled away, but keeping close enough that our noses touched.

"Hi," she replied with her stunning smile. "How were your classes this morning?"

"Fine, I guess. I thought about you most of the time."

She shook her head and giggled, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. I smiled with her as my own chuckle lifted out of my chest.

As we continued to eat, I rested my arm on the back of Bella's chair, and I felt her move closer and closer to me as time went on. Somehow, my arm ended up around her shoulders at the end of the lunch period, and she held my hand all the way up to the trash line until we were outside in the huge crowd of students.

"So, what's going on after school?" she asked while wrapping my arm back around her shoulder as we walked.

I shrugged. "You could come over. I'm sure Alice will invite you, anyway."

Bella stopped walking and turned to face me. I couldn't help but look around to make sure there weren't people around, but I saw where she had led us. We were hidden behind the school buildings, completely alone.

"Alice can't invite me, Edward," she said. "You have to. We're sort of dating, remember?"

I nodded and sighed. "Shit, yeah… Sorry."

"It's okay. I just don't want…" Her voice trailed off as she watched my reactions, and I knew what she saw.

I knew what name she was going to say. I wasn't stupid. It didn't mean that I didn't have an effect on me.

"Edward…"

"I'm fine," I snapped, blocking her out just like I normally do with everyone else.

She shook her head and reached up, cupping my cheek with her hand. She used that hand to push my face towards her so we had direct eye contact. I saw worry in her brown orbs.

"No," she whispered to me. "You're not."

I blinked my eyes as I felt the tears approach. She smiled softly at me, using her thumb to rub soothing patterns under my right eye.

"But you will be," she continued. "I know you will. Today, so far, has been proof of that."

I smiled at her words, nodding once to agree with her. "Thank you."

Her smile grew as she moved in to hug me. "You're welcome."

My arms wrapped tightly around her small waist, and I placed a soft kiss on her cheek. She pulled away with her smile before she dismissed herself with a wave. I watched her go until her body disappeared in the crowd.

I knew that Bella was right; that I can and will get better after this is said and done. But I couldn't do it on my own.

No, because it was all her that was helping me mend my broken heart. Somehow, someway, she was putting it back together.

And I didn't want to try and stop her.

Is Edward falling or just healing?

We want more?