MEMORIES

I do not own Twilight or it's characters.

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I have been having 72 hours of hell. First work is a bitch then I get sick with some stupid virus. Thankful I only stay super sick for about 48 hours before I have only the symptoms of a cold. Anyways enough about my pathetic life!!!

I promised a big chapter and I am here to deliver.

Oh BTW, check out the new story. It is the sequel to "We Can Never Go Back".

Bell rose quietly and walked to the window. Everyone in the room continued to stare at her. She wasn't sure how to tell them why she knew she couldn't possibly be pregnant. She thought back to the conversation she had had with her mother about 100 years ago.

It was a beautiful day in June. The 10th of June to be exact. Mom and I had been able to rest in the small mountain village for about four months. We were constantly hiking since the air was so fresh and unpolluted so high up. With vampire senses smells and noises have always caused some pain to the partial human body.

In those mountains, everything was quiet except the forest. But at least the forest was peaceful noise. Blue jays chirping to their mates. The wind wrestling with the leaves on the trees. Chipmunks running from tree to tree finding food and storing it for the winter that would eventually approach. Every noise made it's own distinct sound. I loved it there. I think I'll make a trip back since it's only about 300 miles away.

Mom and I had been walking silently through a small patch of tall grass when we saw the pair. Cougars. We had shut ourselves down. Sat patiently watching as they pranced around each other. One male, one female. They were performing a mating ritual that Mom and I had seen many times in our long lives. I still find it a beautiful dance.

Without any scent or movement from either of us, the cougars had performed the play with great precision and care. The male showing his strength and capability to be the mate the female would desire. His growls were full of passion and need. We had sat and watched them for hours before they took off to some unknown area of the woods.

"Mom, what was it like for you when you met Dad? Was it like the cougars? Did he have to prove his worth to you?"

"No, Bella. It never had been anything to do with 'worth'. When we saw each other, it was like magic. I didn't understand my kind at the time. Not like I do now. All I knew was that somehow, someway this beautiful man walking me down those dirty, dark hallways was the man I wanted. I had a desire to be with him. I didn't understand why or how this attraction was possible. It just was."

"How did Dad react to it?"

"He told me once that it was like his heart had been jumpstarted. I felt the desire to but being a vampire it was a different feeling for him. He thought I was his singer."

"Singer? What's that?"

"A singer is normally a human whose blood is so irresistible to a vampire that they have to have it no matter the consequences. Your father said he had found one singer just after he became a vampire. He was still a newborn, and as you know he had no one to help him. He told me that it was like finding the most tempting, sweetest fruit and wanting to taste it so badly. There was nothing in the world strong enough to stop him from having that 'fruit'. Instinct took over and there was no stopping the need."

"So if Dad had been able to he would have killed you for your blood? Mom, isn't that dangerous?"

"A little. Remember, Bella, I can turn off my human presence. I didn't know your father wanted me in that way. During my time with the 'scientists' I heard things. I came to realize your father wanted me but in a different way then I wanted him. I was a little scared at first but as my abilities grew and I found I could control people, I found the courage to challenge the desire that I had for your father. When he came and rescued me, I was terrified at first. Because his need for me was so powerful I found it extremely difficult to control him at first. It almost was the end for me but we made our way through. Your father was so ashamed of himself for years and claimed it was because he was weak. I planted a false memory in his mind. He still believes to this day that we needed to be together out of love. It's the truth now but at the time it wasn't so much. I wanted to be with him, I felt the attraction, the desire to make him mine. He felt the attraction and the desire but in two ways. The singer's blood and the mating bond, as I've come to call it.

Our kind has that one perfect match for each of us. It doesn't have to be another of our kind. It can be one of our kind, but it can also be vampire or human. I haven't heard of more than a handful of stories about human mates but it has happened."

"How does the mating thing work? Actually, why does it happen?"

"Bella, don't rush into anything. Don't force yourself to mate. There is only one reason that you need to mate. It is to continue our existence. Have children. Finding a mate also has to do with love but it's a pull for the perfect father or mother for your children that causes the attraction to start in the first place. You will know when it happens to you. It's very hard to explain."

"I understand that part. I know how the normal human body goes through changes. The changes make it possible for a person to have a child. Mom, that's something that scares me. I'm almost 200 years old and can't have children yet. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Bella, I think I do. Do you know how old I am?"

"Not really. I can sort of guess."

"I am over 700 years old. I have lived long enough to see the rise and fall of many civilizations. Yet, even with that being a fact, I have only been able to mother children for about 250 years. You will have to let 'nature' take its course. Someday you will be able to. But if you mate with a vampire your children may not be able to have children. No one knows for sure. So much vampire in the makeup of the body may prevent it."

"But I'm more vampire than human. What if I can't? What's the purpose?"

"There have been others like you. They have been surprised with the knowledge that they could and have had children. And the purpose, even if you can't or don't have children, is to be happy. Finding a mate isn't solely to have children but to have someone to be with. Be happy with. Be a companion to. To live for and with."

Bell pulled back to the present. She was left with the embarrassing task of telling this to everyone. Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes? Only a few moments had past and everyone was still looking at her, waiting for the answers.

Bell decided to give a few answers but other details would be told only when she wanted them to know. Edward, though, she would have to explain everything to him the first chance she got.

"Okay, so we all know Alice's vision was wrong. You want to know why. Why her brain has lost a few marbles?" Bell asked gently.

Emmett laughed a big belly laugh and earned himself two prizes. One was a slap from behind from Rosalie and the other was a death glare from Alice. Emmett shut up as quickly as he had started.

"Alice answered her own question in the woods the other day. Only then I didn't realize it was her. She told you all that I was blocking her. Well, that's kind of true. I am able to block her ability just enough to make my future unclear. But if I don't concentrate on blocking her, she sees images and possible futures. When she focuses on my future she doesn't see what is happening based on the current course of action, she sees all the possible futures for me. Her visions base themselves on everything I have done, am doing and will do. Alice worded it perfectly, "her future is unfocused"."

"Makes sense." Jasper said to himself. He was going over the information in his head.

"Alice, sorry but with my kind you will never be an effect tool to be used against us."

"But that's a good thing, right? If I can't be used to find you, then the Volturi won't come looking here for me. That will keep them away from here for a while longer. We'll just have to play nice and keep ourselves off their radars. I'll just concentrate on any friends who may come to visit and keep your future out."

Bell grinned at the thought of Alice remaining out of anyone's future. She knew what the next question was going to be. Alice was as quick as she was annoying.

"So, what about children? Why did I see a you and Edward holding a baby? And I have to add, it was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen."

"How do I say this gently?" Bell asked more to herself than the others. She needed to talk to Edward first. She decided she wanted to talk with her mother and Carlisle more about the realities surrounding this subject also. "I can have children just not yet."

"What does that mean?" Alice asked nosily.

"Alice, give me some time to figure things out and talk to Edward. It's a complicated situation. I promise we'll chat about it later."

"Well, I don't feel like chatting about it anymore. I wish it had never come up in the first place. Alice, you and your damn visions. Can't you keep them to yourself once in a while?" Rosalie hissed. She stood up and snarled slightly in Bell's direction and whisked her way out the door.

"What's her problem?" Bell asked feeling the tension.

"I'll explain that story to you later." Edward whispered in her ear.

Bell knew that was one story she would keep fresh in her memory when dealing with Rosalie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bell ran gracefully through the woods. She had excused herself from everyone. She needed time to reflect on what had happened. She need time to gather her thoughts. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. Her world, the life she knew, was gone and this one could take so many paths.

She thought back to earlier that day when she and Edward had gone to her place and broke the news to her parents.

Walking into the house had been a nightmare come true. I knew how Mom would reacted but Dad, there was the mystery. Dad had been so closed-minded on the whole subject of finding a mate. Such a taboo. He didn't want to have to watch his daughter suffer with the pain of losing the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world.

Dad had flown down the stairs when he realized Edward and I had arrived together. Carlisle had follow a moment later. Dad had given Edward an evil eye and would have ripped his head off right there. Carlisle, being the sensible one, had convinced my father to calm down and we all went into the kitchen.

As the three men sat down to talk I went looking for my mother. She and Esme had been in the living room deciding on a color scheme that would match the old house. I walked in and looked down to the ground when my mother started to eye me. She had taken a sniff of the air and could smell Edward's scent.

"Mom, I have something to tell you."

That was all I had to say. My mother looked like a child in a candy store being told they could eat as much as they wanted. She bounce and giggled, reminding me of Alice, and raced over to grab me into a hug.

Esme didn't seem to realize at first what was going on but when my father's voice roared through the house, she knew. She had looked at me with a huge grin on her perfect face and pulled me close saying how happy she was that Edward had finally found someone. I hadn't realized that her, and maybe her family, had been concerned about him.

I guess I don't know him very well yet. I think he and I have a lot of things to talk about.

I had walked cautiously back to the kitchen. I had been frightened that Dad had planted some foreign object in Edward's hand. I had seen him do something like that before. My giggle at the memory of the look on the guy's face as the pain registered in his brain had been short lived.

"And what's so funny? What did I tell you? I said no, Bella. I won't let this happen." Charles boomed as the women walked into the room.

I had found her father leaning against Edward's shoulders. Edward was plastered against the wall with his feet dangling inches from the floor. It was in that one moment that I had had a revelation.

Her father wasn't worried about her emotions, what the pain was going to be like when they had to run again. He was being a father. He wanted to protect his little girl. He wanted me to look to him for everything and Edward was taking that away.

I snapped, "Dad, put him the fuck down."

Dad had dropped Edward, spun around to face me. I had never seen his eyes so black. The words that came from his mouth had been dripping with venom. "You will never be with this man. I won't approve of this."

"It's not your choice. It's mine. I'm in love with him the same as you are with Mom. Would you have let anyone take Mom away from you? No. Guess what, whether you approve or not I will be with Edward. Don't like it. Fine. I'll pack my things now. I'll go live with the Cullen's. It's my choice not yours. Deal with it, Father."

Dad's face went through so many emotions in just a few seconds. Hatred was the biggest one. Hatred towards Edward for obvious reasons, hatred towards Mom for allowing any of this to happen, hatred towards me for standing up to him and not excepting his decision, but mostly hatred towards himself for trying to control me.

He and I had sat down after that for a long heart to heart. Edward had been wary of leaving me alone with the my father while he was so volatile. I knew it wasn't necessary for Edward to be concerned. I knew my father so I knew that talking to him was the best course of action. Edward respected my decision but stayed close to ensure my safety.

Things were still tense between my father and I but we had an understanding. He would keep his hands off of Edward and I wouldn't move out. But the understanding was separate from the agreement. Our agreement was that as long as I didn't do anything stupid, he would be polite and open-minded with Edward.

Now all that remains is for Edward and I to have our heart to heart. God, I've never had to do this with anyone besides Alice. Life sucks when you get emotionally involved with someone.