When There's No Trust

Chapter Rating: K

A.N: Here's chapter ten. Oh, and by the way, you guys are going to hate me for this chapter…Sorry in advance. This is an angsty chapter… sorry about that too.

Chapter X – Moving Further Apart

What now? The question bounded around her mind, begging her to agree upon a legitimate plan of action. Something right. But was the right thing to do, the thing she wanted?

"I don't know," she whispered her answer to his question, looking down at the floor, her eyes focused on the Doctor's shoes. She found her feet moving towards the door, desperate to get out of the infirmary.

He caught her arm. "Rose." His tone was demanding but gentle. She could feel his eyes boring into her, though hers were still focussed on the floor, tracing the tiny black dots in the tiles. He sighed heavily. "We need to talk."

She nodded, "I thought as much." She swallowed hard and pulled her arm from his grasp. She stood with her body facing him, but still staring down at the floor, avoiding the look that would surely show in his eyes.

He watched her. His eyes clouded and pained, whist his mouth was a grim line of determination. His hands dug into his pockets. From what he could see of Rose's eyes, they were misty and red. Her hands were wrapped round her chest.

Her eyelashes were wet, though she couldn't remember whether she had been crying or they were simply clinging, fallen raindrops from the storm.

"Rose," the Doctor said softly.

Rose raised her head to look at him. She closed her eyes for two seconds, trying to harden her eyes, before opening them again and staring up at him. "What do you want from me, Doctor?" She tried to keep her tone even and firm. But it just sounded broken.

He sighed, and shook his head. "Why did you follow me, Rose?"

"Because…" She gave a gentle sigh, watching his face. "I don't know…" she murmured honestly. Her fists clenched together tightly, before opening slowly up again, as she tried to stop them sweating.

The Doctor turned away from her, a low breath escaping hard from his nose. He walked over to the cabinet containing various medical supplies, his hands held stiffly on the tabletop. He stayed frozen for a moment, his back to her. "You could have been killed," she heard him say clearly and darkly.

"So could you," Rose retorted, voice still a little broken. But something inside her was waking. She could feel the boiling in her throat, the shout she wanted to let out.

He span round to face her so fast, it didn't look like he'd moved at all. "No," he disagreed with teeth slightly gritted, "I was fine. I told you I would be fine."

Rose inhaled a heavy breath. The anger was coming from him now. That was good; she could feel her own anger threatening to spill over, mere seconds away.

"You also said you'd only be a few minutes," she said loudly, feeling her breath heat in her throat a little as the anger built up.

"That wasn't my fault. I got the timing a little off. It gives you no reason to go swaning off into a beast infested forest and nearly getting yourself and Mickey killed!" the Doctor snapped.

"I was tryin' to find you in case you were hurt!" Rose said angrily, her fists clenched. Her face was hard and determined, but her eyes softened and she shook her head gently as she murmured, "I didn't know if you would come back."

He blinked at her. His mouth opened, but then closed again, anger evaporated for the moment. "I told you I would…" His eyes were almost pleading as he stared at her. "You said… I thought you trusted me."

Rose looked back down at the floor, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip. "We all say things we don't mean Doctor," she said quietly. "You should know that."

He looked away, stung. When he looked back Rose's eyes were on the door, but she turned back to the Doctor, somehow managing to meet his eyes. He swallowed hard as he plucked up the courage for the next sentence, "Do you want to go home?"

Rose thought about that. If he had asked her that a few weeks ago she would have scoffed and told him she was already home. As it was, she wasn't at all sure. Things had changed, but had they changed that much? She stared at the alien in front of her in contemplation, her eyes searching his face. Did it really matter what she wanted, if he was ready to say goodbye so easily, anyway?

Rose shrugged, her teeth covering her bottom lip as she bit down subconsciously. "I don't know," she murmured in a hoarse whisper.

The Doctor stared at her, pained. His mouth opened to speak –

"Oh." A voice from the door made them both whip around. Mickey was standing there, looking a little awkward. His hand on the doorframe, he looked from Rose to the Doctor, clearing his throat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just, um, seeing if you were…" he trailed off, watching them both nervously.

"That's okay," said Rose softly, looking at him. "We're done." She took a step towards the door.

"Rose," the Doctor uttered. She thought it amazing how much sentiment he could put into a single name. When spoken in that way her name became a demand, a statement, a question, an answer, and a plea all at once.

She looked back at him. They had gotten nowhere; that much was clear. She stared at him for a long moment, still hovering by the door. Mickey leaned back, looking uncomfortable. Rose tilted her head gently to her shoulder, frowning, "Why did you leave me in that bomb shelter? Why couldn't I come?"

His facial expression didn't change. He looked on at her, slightly pleading, with soft eyes. "Why do think?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head in confusion.

"To keep you safe," he said fiercely, determined. "Why else?"

She thought about that for a moment, not noticing Mickey backing away until he spoke from outside the room, "I'll… be in the kitchen."

Rose turned to him. "I'll see you in a minute," she nodded solemnly. Mickey nodded in reply, before disappearing into the corridor.

When Rose turned back to the Doctor, she was slightly shocked to find him in much closer proximity, standing right in front of her. He stared at her. His hand went forward and touched her shoulder. She didn't shake it off like she thought she would. He spoke more serious than she had heard from him in a long time, "Rose, do you want to leave?"

She caught momentarily off guard, but shook her head slowly, "I don't want to leave… but that doesn't mean I shouldn't."

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally replied. "I don't want you to go." Rose made to look down at the floor, but before she could the Doctor brought her chin back up with his finger. "Rose, listen to me," he said softly. She looked him in the eye. "You… you know me. I am the same man as I always was. I always will be. I'll never leave you."

"You can't know that," she replied softly. "How do I know it's the truth…?" She shook her head.

"You have my word. Isn't that enough?" he asked desperately. "Please… trust me Rose."

"I had your word before," she said, an edge to her tone. "It didn't seem to be enough then."

The Doctor visibly flinched.

Rose backed up, the Doctor's hand touching thin air as her chin pulled away gently. She cleared her throat and turned towards the door. "I'm sorry," he heard her murmur as she left. "I can't."

--

Mickey had his head slumped down onto his folded arms on the kitchen table as Rose joined him. His eyes flickered to her as she walked in. His face brightened, but his eyes dimmed when he saw Rose looked visibly worn. "You all right?" he asked, sitting up.

Rose shrugged, slumping down in a chair next to him and dropping her head onto his shoulder. "I don't know what to do anymore Mickey."

"Didn't you talk?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

"Is he still being a prat?" Mickey asked, an edge of dark humour to his tone.

Rose didn't speak for a moment. "No," she whispered finally. "He's not. But it doesn't matter, I still can't… trust him."

Mickey looked at her, her hair tickling his chin and face so sad, in thought. Closing his eyes and smelling her honey shampoo, he leaned his head on hers, muttering quietly in her ear, "Do you wanna go? Go back home?"

Rose sighed, her shoulder lifting against him. "Not really. I love this place."

"Just not his company, yeah?" Mickey chucked.

Rose looked up at him, "Do you want to go?"

"Not if you don't want me to. I'll always be here for ya, you know. As long as you want me."

She smiled at him. It was a forced effort, but it was still a smile. "I think I need you here right now." She raised her eyebrows at him, "You know how much you mean you me don't you, you idiot?" She forced her smile wider, playfully tapping him on the arm.

He grinned back, as she settled on to his shoulder again. "I know," he said, smiling. Then his face fell into thoughtfulness, and he was frowning slightly when he next spoke. "Rose?" he questioned.

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to stay here," he said quietly. "You don't feel you do coz of the Doctor, do you? Coz you're scared he'll be alone or something. If you don't feel safe here –"

"I never said I didn't feel safe," Rose cut him off.

"But you don't trust him."

Rose laughed. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean he's dangerous," she said thinking of the absurdity of that.

"Then why don't you trust him?"

She gawped for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "Because –"

"He can hurt you," Mickey interrupted with a scowl. "He has hurt you. He'll keep hurting you."

Rose didn't reply for a moment. Her eyes were locked upon the table, glazed over and not seeing. Her hair locked over her face in strands, the light above sending dark shadows over her face. "And what am I supposed to do if I go back to the Powel Estate?" she asked sceptically.

Mickey's eyes watched her closely, his mouth parted as he considered his next sentence. "Move on," he finally said gently.

Rose looked up at him, her face lifting to meet his gaze and look on level with his. Her eyes were wide and clearly quite terrified by the prospect of leaving this life behind. She swallowed the visible lump in her throat. "I can't," she almost choked.

"Rose," he whispered gently. He put his warm, dark fingers to her chin. She was reminded with a shiver the déjà vu of that sentiment.

Mickey watched her brown eyes, slightly wet, and put his thumb on her lips. She looked so disheartened, so brave, and so beautiful. Without thinking, wihout knowing what he was doing he selfishly, stupidly, but very willingly, leant down and pressed his lips against hers.

The Timelord watched from the doorway, his pained face an illusion when covered as it was in shadow.

--Preview--

Chapter XI - A Promise Broke

The Doctor's gaze was slightly startling; full of such a fire of passion and devotion it left her slightly breathless just by looking into those deep chestnut irises.

"What?" she somehow managed to say in half a whisper.

He shook his head, still gazing at her intently, affectionately, "Just you."