Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the "Twilight: Saga" are the property of Stephanie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of said author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Eight

"Honesty
Is what you need
It sets you free
Like someone to save you
Let it go
But hurry now
There's undertow
And I don't want to lose you now"*

Honesty is a bitch; it is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Everyone will always say that they want the truth, but that is only because the truth seems cuddly on the outside, but waiting inside of it is a ferocious animal that will eat your heart for lunch. Aggressive mimicry. Morose? Maybe. However, it is reality. The truth will not set you free; it will crush your soul.

And I don't want it anymore. Sometimes, I would just be much more content living in some sort of fantasy world where everyone just says and does what I want them to do and say – but I guess everyone might want that at some point – be the spoiled brat that get's their way all the time. I just wish that Jacob could have told me we could start over, that the past was the past, and that he loved me.

Nevertheless, he didn't. He said that maybe we could be friends if I stuck around, and then left me alone on the beach. He even winked at me. Seriously, way to send mixed signals, just making our entire situation that much more confusing. I wish he had lied to me and told me what I wanted to hear. The thought was consuming me.

I guess, in a way, I should be grateful that Jacob was straightforward with me. At least this way, knowing that we can only now have a future as friends, which according to him is only a possibility at that, I can try to move on. Try to figure out some way to get over him, even if it takes the rest of my lifetime.

"You know Belly-button, this moping around the kitchen stuffing your face with leftovers thing, is totally cliché, and I am completely secondhand embarrassed for you." Cass mocked as she walked up next to me by the refrigerator. I had been standing in front of it pretty much since we got back from the beach, and had no intention of leaving my post in self-loathing central.

"I hate when you call me that." I grumbled out through a mouthful of cold mashed potatoes.

"Shut up, you love my nicknames for you. Now, come on," she took my hand and started leading me towards the stairs, kicking the fridge closed with her foot, "let's get you changed into something that is not such a horrendous poly/cotton blend covered in stains, because you and I are going out tonight, and we're gonna get drunk - drown those sorrows baby!"

"And numbing my feelings and emotions with alcohol is not cliché?" I scoffed. She stopped and looked very pensive for a moment, tapping the tip of her index finger to her lips, her eyes to the sky as if she was trying to search in her mind for another of her smart-ass responses.

Cass finally just shrugged, smiling at me widely, "At least it's more fun to throw-up later because of a night of drinking too much, then because you were eating too much."

"You're the poster child for alcoholism, I hope you know that." I said, rolling my eyes at her, not able to stop a small smile from creeping across my lips. She laughed, and just continued to lead me up the stairs anyway.

We arrived at what Cass and I would describe as a "drive bar" back in Florida, which was technically the only bar in Forks, later that evening. Cass was in a slinky and very tight, and of course very short, black dress, and I was in a powder blue strapless sundress, that cut off just above my knees. As we walked in, the sound of off key singing filled the air – they were having a karaoke night. This, was not going to end well. Cass clapped her hands in excitement, a little extra bounce in her step, as she realized she would get to make a fool of herself later on singing some terrible pop song - we actually went to a lot of karaoke bars in college.

I quickly spotted a small table for two in a secluded back corner, dimly lit by an old yellowed hanging light fixture - it resembled a small chandelier, and I guess they were trying their hand at being "classy". Cass had gone up to the bartender to grab us some beers and I motioned towards the table to let her know which way I was heading. I sat down, my eyes to the floor, trying my best to become invisible. Cass was back quickly with two beers in one hand and two small shot glasses filled with a tan liquid balanced in her right hand.

"So not doing shots," I practically whined out.

"Why yes, yes you are." She disagreed, placing one of the shots and my beer in front of me. "Come on, pick it up – I've got a toast for us." I begrudgingly picked up the shot, bringing it slowly to my nose and taking a whiff – my stomach turning at the strong smell of straight whiskey. I raised the glass towards her, and our two glasses made a tiny *clink* as they came together.

"Here's to you, and here's to me, together as friends we'll always be. And if we ever disagree, then fuck you, and here's just to me!" She let out a "woot" and a giggle before tipping her head back and downing the shot, followed by her entire beer. I took my shot a little more slowly, gagging at the taste, and chased it with the beer as well.

About two hours, and six shots, later, I was certainly feeling a lot more relaxed then I had when we arrived. Cass was on stage singing a horrendous version of some Britney Spears song, dancing around the stage like a stripper. The room started getting a little blurry, and Cass began her next song, this time a slower romantic ballad – "Can you feel the love tonight" by Elton John – I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at her song choice, it was just a tad on the corny side. I laid my head down on the table.

"Care to dance with me?" A deep, and very recognizable voice, came from above me. I had my head buried in my arms on the table, willing the room to stop spinning, but I knew that voice – I did not need to see Jake's face to always know when he was right next to me. I slowly looked up, meeting his dark brown, almost black, smoldering eyes a few moments later.

I took just a minute to look him up and down, soaking in just how incredible he looked. He had on a tight black button-down shirt that had a slight sheen to it, with a grey and black striped tie loosely hanging around his neck. The shirt hugged every one of his muscles as if it was painted onto his body. I looked back up quickly, and he had on the widest smile I'd seen since I returned. I cleared my throat, it suddenly dry, my body hot. I stood up, too hastily for the fact that my head was still spinning from drinking too much, and I lost my balance, falling forward.

Jacob's expression turned quickly to one of fear as I stumbled towards him, but he was able to catch me quickly, his warm embrace enveloping my entire body. "Um, sorry." I was able to squeak out, pushing against his chest with the palms of my hand – it was too much to be that close to him, when I could not have all of him. I regained my balance and was able to stand on my own, taking a large step back, my legs touching the table I had just been sitting at.

"It's fine Bells, I'm use to your inability to stand up on your own by now," he joked, but then a serious, and maybe even concerned, look danced across his brow, "Why are you drinking like this anyway? Isn't this a little much if you can't even walk straight?"

"Drinking like what? Cass and I have just had a few drinks, we're just having a good time! What is it any of your business why I'm drinking, OR HOW MUCH I'M DRINKING!" I screamed out, for some reason all of a sudden furious that Jacob felt he could concern himself with my life – he had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to be involved with me.

My tone had taken him aback, and he stood their speechless for more then a few moments. I took that time to look around the room, realizing that Cass was no longer singing, noticing also that everyone in the bar, including Seth, Quil and Embry, were all staring at me – I must have yelled a hell of a lot louder then I thought.

"Bella, what was that all about?" Jacob asked, leaning in towards me so he can whisper, obviously wanting to have some sort of privacy between us.

"Nothing I just… It's just none of your business what I do, not anymore." I sighed out, slumping back down into the chair I had just occupied. The roar of the bar picked back up again shortly after, everyone no longer interested in our drama if we weren't going to be yelling and making a scene anymore.

"I'm just worried about you," he said, taking the seat across from me, taking my hand in his. I looked up at him, confusion written all over my face, and what looked like honest concern and love on his - Why was he acting like this? Why was he behaving as if I meant something to him?

"You're confusing me," I blurted out. I didn't know what else to say. Every time I've seen Jake since I've gotten back he's done nothing but confuse me. One second he's about to kiss me, the next he's walking away from me.

"I'm sorry." He stated simply.

"I think I'd rather you be around to confuse me, then not around at all." I barely whispered.

We both gave a pathetic attempt at a smile towards one another, and I had to look away when I began to feel tears sting behind my eyes. I saw him lean towards me from the corner of my eye, scooting his chair only inches from me now. He took his right hand to my left cheek, cupping it and forcing me to look back at him.

"I'd rather be around you then not all too." He leaned in even closer, the warmth of his breath breezing across my lips as he spoke the words. I pursed my lips and closed my eyes, throwing out all my fears that this was just another cruel joke, not allowing myself to think he would once again stop and pull away before kissing me this time…

"Isabella Swan! Get you tight ass up here and sing us a song young lady!" Cass yelled out through the microphone just as my bottom lip barely touched Jake's.

You have got to be kidding me!

I opened my eyes, slowly and deliberately opening only one at a time, and glared at her the moment they met hers. "You can sing?" Jake asked with skepticism laced in his voice.

"Um, yeah, Cass thinks I'm like the second coming of, I don't know, name a great female singer – but, I hate being the center of attention, you know that. She usually can only get me to sing when I'm drunk." I laughed, but it was spurious, and my palms began to sweat. The effects of the alcohol I had consumed were already beginning to wear off, and I did not have the confidence to get up there and sing in front of all these people, especially not in front of Jake – I did not need to make a fool of myself anymore then I already have lately.

"I would really love to hear you." He stood up, still holding my hand, and helped me to stand next to him. "I can be up there with you, if that would help make you less nervous?"

Something in the way he was looking at me, the way he was holding onto me, the way he spoke to me, that gave me a sudden rush of courage. We walked slowly to the stage, all eyes in the room following every move. Just as I walked up the two beaten-up wooden steps to the stage, Cass passed next to me, squeezing my shoulder in comfort for only a second before sitting down in the front next to Seth – Quil and Embry were sitting two tables behind them.

Jacob set up two stools next to each other, the one intended for me in front of the microphone, and he sat down in the other, hands folded on his lap. I took in a deep breath and walked over to what I guess one would call the DJ for all intensive purposes – he was the person that set up the music for the song I chose off the list he handed me. I scrolled through the pages quickly, trying to figure out which one to pick. Should it be something upbeat, something depressing, something romantic… something that would tell Jake how I felt without me really having to say the words aloud. I knew the perfect song for the moment. I pointed it out to the red haired man, and he smiled and nodded to me.

Taking in a deep breath, I sat down on metal stool in front of the microphone, the melody of the song I had chosen to sing slowly get louder and louder through the speakers surrounding the stage. I looked over at Jacob, a large grin spread across his face and an encouraging look in his eyes - I tensed, my throat dry – I coughed lightly three times to try to clear it. A bright white spotlight suddenly shown directly on my face – I could feel beads of sweat on the nape of my neck.

"I'm here for you Bella," he whispered, taking my hand in his and squeezing it tightly. I took in another deep breath, the tension slowly easing out of my shoulders – I relaxed. And at the right moment, the words just flowed perfectly out, because they were meant to only be heard by the man sitting next to me, by the man holding me hand, only to be heard by the man I loved – everyone else in the room disappeared. I needed him to understand. I needed Jacob to change him mind…

"I miss those brown eyes;
I miss the way we sleep.

Like there's no sunrise.
I miss the way we breathe.

But I never told you,
What I should have said.
No, I never told you,
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you.
Can't believe that I still want you,
After all the things we've been through.
I miss everything about you,
Without you.

I see your brown eyes,
Every time I close mine.
You make it hard to see,
Where I belong to,
When I'm not around you.
It's like I'm alone with me.

But I never told you,
What I should have said.
No, I never told you,
I just held it in.

And now,
I miss everything about you.
Can't believe that I still want you,
And after all the things we've been through.
I miss everything about you,
Without you.

But I never told you,
What I should have said.
No, I never told you.
I just held it in.

And now,
I miss everything about you.

I miss everything about you,
Without you." * *

The music concluded, and as Jake and I stared between one another, the world felt as if it was shifting around us. I leaned in, my cheek against his, my lips brushing the bottom of his ear as I whispered the words "... I never told you, what I should have said." I paused, leaning back so that I could look him in the eyes, "I should have told you that I loved you Jacob Black." He looked completely stunned for a moment, and then smiled, taking his hand to pull my face towards his.

"I love you too Bella Swan. I always have and I always will." And that is when he finally crashed his warm, soft, and beautiful lips to mine.

To be continued...

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Yay, they finally kissed! :)

More to come soon, I promise! XoXo - Vanessa

* "Someone to Save You" By OneRepublic

* * "I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat