Super SpongeBob Bros.
Episode Ten: Christmas Who? Part 2
"I hope he can read Japanese." Marth said as Pit shot another bottle out of the cannon.
"Ahh, that's the last letter." Pit then suddenly remembered something. "Wait! Pittoo hasn't written his letter yet!" Pit raced to Dark Pit's house with a pencil and paper. "Pittoo! Hurry! Pittoo, Pittoo! Hurry!"
"Pit-stain, what are you doing?"
"Don't worry, Pittoo. I'll help you get started." Pit started to write a letter. "Dear Santa Claus..."
"Pit-stain, forget it."
"Right, too formal. Hi Santa..."
"Pit, no."
"Howdy Claus?"
"I'm not writing a letter to a figment of your imagination."
"But, Pittoo, when Santa comes, you'll be the only one without a gift."
"Pit-stain, how many times do I have to say it? I don't believe in Santa Claus!"
"C'mon, Pittoo, all you have to do is write a letter. What have you got to lose?"
"My self respect. My sanity. My lunch."
"Pittoo, c'mon." Everyone tried to get Dark Pit to come out of his house.
"Santa Claus is a big phony! Pit has got you all fooled."
"C'mon, Pittoo. C'mon!"
"Those idiots are gonna be up all night while I get a full night's sleep." Dark Pit then went to sleep, only to be interrupted by the others singing outside.
"Oh, Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight. Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight."
"C'mon everybody! Let's sing until Santa gets here." Pit said.
Everyone continued to sing all night. By the next morning, everyone was tired from singing.
"Hey! Where's Santa?" Fox asked.
"Uh, he should be here any minute." "Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight." Everyone else got tired of it and started walking away.
"Thanks for the lies, Mr. Fairytale! Let's go waste out time somewhere else."
"Hey, guys, where's your Christmas spirit? He's just running a little late."
"He probably just stopped for a snack! Fat guys get hungry, right?" Pit and Kirby waited for Santa to come, but he never did. "Never trust a genie." Kirby sighed as he walked away, leaving Pit all alone.
"Ahh, morning already? Oh, boy!" Dark Pit stepped outside and spoke through a megaphone. "Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas. Wait." Dark Pit saw that Pit was standing all alone. "Oh, I see a great Christmas photo op." Dark Pit then took out a camera. "Could you move in a little? Say Santa Claus."
"Santa Claus." Pit said sadly as Dark Pit took the picture.
"Aww, our first Christmas." Dark Pit then started dancing and laughing at Pit. "This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas. The first Christmas is this Christmas. Cause it feels like the first Christmas to me."
"You were right, Pittoo. This is a stupid holiday." Pit took out a present. "I still want you to have this."
"What? What's this?" Dark Pit asked.
"A present. I made it for you so you wouldn't be left out when...Santa came!" Pit then started crying and walked away.
"Oh, gee, I, uh, you know I..."
"You're welcome."
"Pit? He made me a present? It's probably just a Metroid net, or an old Smash Burger, or...his favorite underpants." Dark Pit opened the present and saw that it was a staff. "Why, it looks like a staff. It smells like one too. It's even got my name on it. Wow. This is the greatest gift I've ever gotten. Oh, I feel like a...I feel like a...I feel like a...big jerk. What have I done to poor Pit. Uh, hey, Pit? I...?"
"I guess I won't be needing this." Pit began to take the decorations off his house. "That's better."
"Poor little guy. All he wanted was to spread a little joy."
"I better get this stuff off of Pittoo's house."
"Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!"
"Huh? Hello? Who's there? Huh? Hello?"
"Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!" Dark Pit was standing on top of his roof, dressed up as Santa Claus.
"Hello? Yes. Who's there? Huh? Hello? Show yourself. Yoo-hoo. Hello? Who is it? Huh?"
"Up here you dunce! I mean, uh, Merry Christmas little boy."
Pit looked up and gasped. "Could it be?"
"Yes, it is I, Santa Claus. Ho, ho, ho..." Dark Pit slipped off the roof and tumbled to the ground right in front of Pit.
"Hey, you're S-S-S-S-S-S-San...S-S-S-S-S-S-San...S-S-S-S-S-S-San..."
"Hey, uh, kid, take it easy."
"S-S-S-S-S-S-Santa..." Pit stammered, and then he fainted.
"Pit? Pit? Pit?"
"S-S-S-S-S-S-San..." Pit stammered again, until Dark Pit put his hand over his mouth.
"Don't do that again."
"Oh, I knew you'd make it, Santa. Hey, Santa, where's your big round belly?"
"Oh, that's because I'm on a diet this year."
"And what about your reindeer? And your flying machine?"
"Uhh, I loaned them to the Easter Bunny."
"Santa! This is the greatest you could've given me. Thank you for bringing Christmas to Smashville."
"I didn't bring Christmas to Smashville, Pit, you did."
"I did?!" Pit then fainted again.
"Merry Christmas, Pit. Merry Christmas!" Dark Pit sighed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that's over."
"Do you have a present for me, Santa?" Nana asked.
"Oh, well, uhh, see I'm not really..."
Pit laughed. "Go ahead, Santa Claus. See, he is real. He made my Christmas wish come true, he won't let you down."
"Uhh, right, just a second." Dark Pit went inside his house, looking for something to give. "C'mon, let's see. What do little girls like? A book of matches? Or a shaving kit? A copy of my birth certificate? There's got to be something around here. Think. Think. Think. Ha! Perfect!" Dark Pit came out and gave Nana a wrench.
"Thanks, Santa."
"That almost felt good." Dark Pit turned around and saw that there was a line of people waiting to recieve gifts.
"Hey, Santa, where's my present?" Falco asked.
"And mine!" Tortimer added.
"And what about me?" Peach asked.
"Let's see what Santa has for all you good people." Dark Pit went back inside his house. "Think fast, Santa. Gifts for good people. A-ha! A bowl of mashed potatoes for you." Dark Pit handed a bowl of mashed potatoes to Zelda.
"Thank you, Santa. This is just what I wanted." Zelda dumped the mashed potatoes on her head. "A new hairstyle."
"Here you go, Kirby." Dark Pit said, giving Kirby a clock.
"Wow." Kirby punched a hole through the clock. "A wrist watch."
Dark Pit continued to give all of his things to everyone. By the time everyone was gone, he had nothing left in his house.
"What was I thinking? I gave away all my stuff just 'cause Pit-stain wouldn't be sad. Am I insane?" There was then a knock on the door. "You might as well take the door. It's all that's left." Dark Pit opened the door and saw that Pit was standing there, waving his arms excitedly.
"Pittoo! You missed him! He was here just like I said! He gave us all presents. He was jolly and he had a beard. His nose was big and he had rosy cheeks. He was friendly and kind." Dark Pit turned Pit around and pushed him back towards his house.
"Well, at least it's over." Dark Pit then noticed a piece of paper on his front steps. "Huh? What's this?"
Dear Dark Pit,
Thanks for all your help! You've been a real good boy this year.
Warm regards,
Santa Claus
Dark Pit looked up and saw that Santa was flying through the sky in his sled. "Yep, I'm insane." He grumbled as he walked back inside.