Jose-
I'm all alone in the shop. I'm blaring some Christian heavy metal that Barny gave me. It's kinda awesome actually. They play songs really well, and they rip into my heart. I've listened to this same one over and over by this band Red. "Hey you! Look what ya do to me/ ya bend and ya bruise me.... You can't have me any more (BOOM!) you can't have me anymore/ You can't have me LET GOOOOOOOOOOO!" The scream really links up with me. It makes me wanna get in a fight, but the kind of once in a lifetime fight to end all fights. They're fighting the devil I think, and they have such confidence that they can take him on. It makes me wanna punch out my brother, Tek, the bloods, the crips, the rednecks, all of my personal demons. I can kinda hear my phone, but I don't care right now. I think I'm praying. I don't wanna do this crap for much longer, but I'm not sure what else I'd do. I want more than just the garage, and the "purpose" behind dealing isn't really motivation to go any higher.
I keep working on the tire rotation I got today. Hoping that something drops into my lap. Wondering if Glandy's right about me being able to go to church after all. I can't go to any catholic ones in town, but his actually seems cool.
I have some extra cash, maybe after Mikey's born I can do some kinda night class thing. and work during the day. Who am I kidding? I'll have bills for him, and I'll wanna have some fun time with my friends. I just need some way out that will give me some reason to live... Wait! Mikey! I can do more stuff for him, slowly back out of the gang; something like that might work. Just weasel my way down. Could work, but at the same time I know there are times when all I wanna do is hustle.
Phone's beepin' again. Voicemail. Is there anything more annoying than a voicemail when you got stuff to do? Just text me or I can see that you called. I hate logging into the whole thing, putting in my password, listening to people's drawn out explanations of what will be happening that night, blah blah. Here's what I do; I text, "Wanna hang out?" and then just see if they text back. I'll call if I wanna talk, but I HATE voicemail. Gah, I should listen to it, could be Nana or Tina that need something. E-lo? What the hell, he never calls me on his personal phone. Whatever, might as well see what he wants being as how he's still runnin my game.
He sounds out of breath, nervous:
Ninyo, call your boys to your shop. I knocked the smurfs down one, just make sure we keep that number low. They were sellin' right over by where your Gramma used to live over on fourth. What the hell? How did they find me, shit! I'm gonna be between 3rd and 11th, send some boys out here NOW. I'm takin' heat.
I drop the phone, I could hear shots blastin before I got the dial tone. He called me three minutes ago. That's three minutes I left him out cold. Quick I yell into the back of the shop at Tek to mount up, and I grab my own keys and phone as I tell him what's up. He starts drivin while I call E-Lo's boy to get him on the phone with everybody. We're starting a war.
It's too late. Before we even get within a block of his ride I can see the mass of cops and bystanders around the new class beamer. I could even see the blue paint on the side. Prick that shot my brother tagged "E-low" upside down, disrespect for my homie, but he also tagged "615TooA" next to it. I recognized that tag. A crip in the big cities used to tag that over our buildings to scare us into thinkin we were on his turf. Now that same asshole put my brother in a bag. I saw the body bag being lifted into the back of the ambulance, like it made some kinda difference. There musta been five clips in the chassis of his ride, I'm sure he took more than twenty in the chest. What the hell set this off? We haven't had a battle with those pricks in a year or two, least not that ended fatal. Now they gon' run up on a boss? That's not even right, not smart neither. Wars bring in feds, feds bring in more guns and the war turns in three directions. But before it could get to that level; Tek and I were gonna take a few more names of the Crip roster, startin with the guy that took out my brother. I punched the dashboard, it cracked under the pressure, and I didn't even realize I'd been cryin til I looked at what I'd done and saw the blurriness from the tears. I sucked it up, cursed loudly and looked away from Tek.
"Don't even worry about it, he's your brother, I'd let a few drops out too if he was my bro. And I'm sure I'll do that later anyway. But for now I gotta drive, you just tell me where to go Jose."
Tek hadn't used my real name in a long time, and he sure never let me call the shots in awhile. But this was different, this was that moment to let it all loose. And not even Tek denied that this was my fight. This was my turn to get some vengeance. I was gonna be the new leader, and it was time to get my fury.
"Go back to the shop, we gotta get some more ammo, some more guys, and make a few more calls to our city boys to let em know what's goin down. But first, pull over at my Nana's house, E-Lo left me the keys to his unknown ride there, I'll take that so we don't get caught too quick aiight?"
Mi hermana thinks I'm delirious, or playing a cruel joke. "I just saw him ten minutes ago, Jose. That can't be him you saw." Even after I tell her about the voicemail she denies it. She hated the guy he was, but doesn't want him gone anymore than I do. She storms off to her room, trying to act tough but I can hear her crying from her room. I'm not sure if I should go after her to hug her or just leave her. My head's tellin' me to 'comfort her later, you can't get caught up here with her when you gotta go plan the next battle.'
Nana's crying too. She wasn't E-Lo's grandma so it seems weird to me. E-Lo and my dad were the same dude, but Nana was my mom's mom. I didn't know what to do so I just grabbed the keys and lied to her, "I gotta go for a drive or something Nana, clear my head about all this shit."
"Don't swear. And don't you dare lie to me. I know where you're going, what you're planning. I can't tell you I condone it, but I also can't tell you I blame you for it. I'm not crying for Italo, I'm crying for you, Jose. I'm crying because I know you're about to get deeper in this mess your brother created for you. Don't get stuck in this shithole of a life. You can be something better. And don't you dare get caught or killed tonight. I'm supposed to be next in the obituary, not you." She patted me on the shoulder and walked out.
She knew that I felt like I had to do this, but somehow thought she could talk me out of it. It's too late, now's the time. But she was right, I couldn't get caught, and I didn't wanna have a chance to get hit back. I had to call Barny to drive me, just this once.
Marianna
The stupid idiot! I knew he was back here to do something stupid. He tells me he loves me and just wanted to see me for prom, but I knew he was lying to me the whole damn time. I wanted to trust him, he makes me smile and feel like I was somebody more than most the guys around here, even Jose. I mean he made me smile. I don't wanna believe it, I even just swore at Jose about it like it was his fault. Italo got Jose into this, not the other way around. I should apologize to him later; I would now but I can barely see to stand up. Mascara running down my face, but I can't even muster up the effort to wipe it off. I have to send a text to my work friend, 'My brother died, tell july that i cant b work' Normally I don't shorthand and I'd correct the spelling of "Julie" but I had better things to do. I sent another text to Andrew, hoping "Glandy" can somehow talk sense into the rest of the boys.
I half cry half groan for my Nana like I have the flu. She comes in and just hugs me, and I can feel her rosary against my back while we both cry and pray for Italo's soul like somehow it'll make a difference. Like our penetance for him will count to the judge. She's crying for me, and the fact that I'm a protestant now isn't helping. I'm crying because I'm pretty sure he's in hell, and because my only other brother is next in line.
I hear the BMW leaving the driveway and I know that Jose is on his way to do harm. I just hope the harm isn't done to our family anymore.
Glandy
"Havin' a hard time breathin/ but I ain't leavin' until I know what I believe in" That Lecrae song can't leave my mind. "Death Story" played over and over in my head like my iTunes was set to repeat. It seemed a fitting prayer song for Italo. I'd only met him once and my only hope was that he heard the voice of God in that last moment before the bullets struck.
I kept praying, but I felt like I needed to do something. Someone was compelling me to reach out to Jose and the others. I grabbed my phone and started to instinctively dial Melody, but then my finger just stopped moving. I hit the back button then started Cherish. Same thing. So I called Jose, wondering if somehow God wanted me to reach him before another chalkine found it's way to another Santana. I called him but got his voicemail. Knowing he'd never check it I instead sent a simple text, "Praying for you. You should do the same before letting anything continue."
I turned on my iTunes and actually played the Lecrae song I was already hearing in my head. I started to tear for Marianna, and for her family, and Jose. I also cried because I felt like God was telling me to do more for the people on this side of eternity that I knew weren't Christians yet. I'd been turning a blind eye toward Jose; and I'd do that no more.
"Text Chris." The voice was clear, to the point. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, and why a text was better than a call, but i told him over a text what happened, and to pray, and stall if needed.
Barny
"Barny, I need you. How soon can you get here? I need a driver." I knew he meant it, he took the time to look up my home number. My cell doesn't work out here and I was pretty sure that was the only number he had. My folks were gone still but I wasn't sure I wanted to see Jose, he sounded off.
"What's wrong brother?"
"Just get here." I could hear his phone click close, kind of shocked that he didn't give me time to really answer. But he sounded serious, and it was only 6pm so I figured it was alright to do especially when I didn't have school tomorrow and the folks wouldn't be home til Sunday.
I grabbed my hat, threw on my shoes and drove to the garage. Somehow I just knew that's where he was.
"Where we going Ninyo?" I smile and ask as I lean against Babygirl.
"Cities, and we're taking this." He throws me the keys to Italo's BMW, completely stone faced and serious. I've only seen him like that a couple times, and it was when he was going into some of the bareknuckle matches at the races. He was about to kick someone's ass.
"Big race or our other thing?" (Other thing meaning I drive, he deals, and we all get home safe.)
"Something else Barnes, just drive." Had he been crying? Nah, not that ape, not Jose. So I drove, not really knowing where to go other than north. About ten minutes in I felt my phone vibrate, I grabbed it quick. Normally I'd throw it to Jose and have him read me what it said because I hate texting while I drive. I looked at him, but I couldn't tell if he was just laying back or asleep. I flipped it open and saw what Glandy had to say. "Barny, Jose's brother got shot, don't let him do anything we'll all regret." I let out a sigh, hoping Jose really is asleep, and start driving slightly more west, toward the city were my brother lives. I just wanted to keep us moving, but not go near the thugs I was sure Ninyo was out to get.
–-----
Couple hours later and he woke up. At first it startled me, but I had a plan. Rubbing his eyes for a second, trying to make me think it was sleepers and not tears he was getting at. Then he saw the sign for what city we were in, and I could see his anger building. "What the hell are you doing Barny! The cities are north, not northEAST." I pulled into a parking lot and tossed him my phone.
"So you're gonna kidnap me because Glandyator doesn't want us to get revenge?"
"No, because I know you deserve revenge, but this isn't how to do it. You kill him and it's over, but if we play this smart we can get him charged, put him away forever. Make him suffer in a cell to get him ready to suffer in hell. That way no one else gets killed, or arrested, and Nana and your fam can all rest easy."
"What do you have in mind, and seriously it better work, none of that cowboy movie bullcrap."
The next day in the news there was a story about a 2004 Nissan exploding on the street when an illegal Nos tank overheated and blew the car onto the sidewalk. The flames caused neighbors to call the police. The owner of the vehicle, Andre Johnson, was then charged with criminal possession and intent to sell of a large amount of narcotic, and the murder of Italo Santana after a police investigation led to photos of the crime scene and several photos of Johnson spray painting the same graffiti that was found on Santana's vehicle the day of the murder.
Jose smiled. So did the rest of us. Even Nana was "proud of whomever happened to cause that, even if it was Jesus." Andre got 25 to life, without the possibility of parol for the murder, and an additional 12 for the drugs, and another 5 months for the Nos and fire charges.
"I'll be there in 30 years when he's up for parol to remind him why he should just stay in," Jose said stone faced just before laughing loudly and giving me some knucks.