Day Forty-eight

10:00 am

Brittany checked her watch for the third time in the last ten minutes and she realized that only one fucking minute had passed since the last check. She didn't exactly know the reason why she was feeling so excited in that moment but she just couldn't stop doing something. That morning she had already gone to speak to the S&L's sale manager to discuss the most appropriate business strategy to adopt with the Korean investors, she had read all her emails and diligently answered to the most important ones, she had updated her timesheet and had set and planned till the tiniest detail her future activities. Only one hour had passed since the beginning of that day, the day Santana was supposed to be finally back from her three-day work trip. She had texted her that her plane was lending at 8:15in the morning so she should have been at the office in that moment, but there was still no sign of Santana Lopez. She could call her to check where the hell she was but she didn't want to seem eager of seeing her but the sad truth was that she really was looking forward to talking and dealing with that crazy person again. Three days before Santana was forced to fly to LA to meet her manager and a bunch of film producers to discuss an upcoming project and since it didn't have anything to do with the S&L company Brittany couldn't follow her. Maybe it was a good thing for both of them to be apart for a couple of days but Brittany didn't care about what they should have done. The truth was only one: she had missed Santana and surprisingly she had been missing everything about that girl, her occasional smiles, her smell, her teasing and her beauty. Even if she hadn't seen her for just 74 hours, 36 minutes and 8 seconds the past three days had been really boring and almost useless.

Brittany slightly shook he head since that last statement wasn't completely sure, she had been attending the dance classes even if Santana wasn't there and that had meant walking home with her new friend Erin. The walks with that girl had been the only highlights of the past days, Erin was amazing and very pleasant to spend some time with. The fact that she was unbelievingly beautiful with her green eyes, her dark brown hair and her Brazilian features was just making the time spent with her even more enjoyable. Brittany was however surprised that a 26-year-old professional dancer was interested in spending time with her and the most shocking thing was that Erin seemed to really like her since she had invited her to have lunch together that day. Brittany wasn't sure if that was pure friendship or something more but actually she wasn't really interested in having an answer soon since she was enjoying speaking with that simple girl. Everything with Erin was easy: talking to her, laughing and joking, they were just on the same page, plus she was incredibly modest despite she was smart, beautiful and incredibly talented.

Brittany was still absorbed in her thoughts when the elevator doors opened and a gorgeous smiling Santana Lopez came out.

Brittany had absolutely no idea why she was feeling in that way, her heart was pounding against her ribcage and every beat was like a vibrating wave that was quickly spreading into her chest, her hands' palms were getting sweaty and she was feeling like someone was holding her stomach in a fist.

Hey, calm down please. You're no longer in the elementary school.

Plus all those feeling were just wrong, she simply wasn't supposed to feel that way toward her straight boss. She was aware that nothing was going on between the two of them, not because they weren't right for each other or they weren't getting along but because there was a logic problem at the beginning. Santana was not gay and that was a hell of a problem. Then the fact that that heterosexual bitch was the person that had turned her on more in the past months was just making everything even more complicated.

Brittany stiffened all her muscles as Santana was walking toward her. An awkward embarrassed smile appeared on her face.

"Hi Santana, welcome back." she burbled huskily.

Santana, waken up by the sound of her voice, immediately rolled her chocolate eyes at her and smiled and as a consequent reaction Brittany felt again that fucking vice to her stomach.

"Oh hi, Brittany." She said clearly excited as well.

Brittany silently giggled inside at the thought that Santana was excited to see her, they were behaving like 15-year-old teenagers and that was just so adorable.

"I brought you some coffee." Santana announced passing Brittany's desk and getting into her office leaving the door open as a sign of invitation.

Brittany beamed clearly overwhelmed by that awkward and senseless sudden happiness that had quickly invaded her. She readily stood up and followed her boss into her office where she sat in her usual spot, right in front of Santana.

"So, how was your trip?"

Santana snorted to emphasize what she was about to say. "Boring as hell. But it was something I had to do so.." she commented shrugging her shoulders.

Brittany nodded smiling. "You know, first the duty and then the pleasure."

"Oh I wish I could have relaxed a little bit but I've spent the past three days in a meeting room with sweaty men." She paused for a second like if she wanted to say something but she didn't know how.

"How were your days?"

"Nothing special." Brittany cut shortly because she really didn't have anything exciting to tell her.

"Nothing? Not even the dance classes?" Santana asked but Brittany frowned just a bit at her questioning tone. It was like Santana was dying to find out something but she wasn't sure where she was taking that conversation.

She smiled.

Oh, I've missed this so much.

"Well, the dance classes were funny." Then she smirked at Santana. "..but nothing compared to the first one." She added teasing and clearly referring to the sexy dance that they had performed three days before.

Santana understood the mockery and giggled fluttered. It was unbelievingly odd but they weren't arguing as Brittany was used to, conversely it was like something had recently changed between the two of them. Santana had clearly admitted that she liked her and that was a really big step toward a decent and civil coexistence.

That was indeed a big problem for Brittany, she had always had no problem to hate and despise Santana for who she was and for the way she used to behave with her, but she was changing and at the same time Brittany had found out that her behavior was only a consequence to a past full of sufferance and pain. It was very hard to admit but she was liking that girl too, and that would have been just amazing if liking her hadn't been such a big problem for Brittany.

She was already hopelessly, endlessly and desperately attracted to her, she really didn't need to start to like that girl just the way she was.

Can you just stop flirting with her?

Santana smiled at her once again and that made Brittany tremble, she was finding focusing harder and harder.

"Listen Brittany, would you like to have lunch with me today?" she paused and before Brittany could say anything she added. "I know that we're always eating together here but I was thinking of going out in a nice restaurant.."

At those words Brittany's heart skipped a beat. The first thing that popped into her mind was her answer to Erin's request of eating together that day.

Yes, I would love to.

She immediately regretted ho have said yes, but she had made a commitment to her and cancelling it at the last minute wouldn't have been really nice.

"Santana, I really would like to…" she paused as she noticed Santana darkening her expression. "..but I've other plans for lunch."

"Oh, ok." She replied clearly annoyed by that refusal.

Brittany immediately felt so guilty for having lunch with Erin, she knew that Santana was just her boss and nothing more but somehow she was feeling like she was betraying her.

"I've already told Erin that I was having lunch with her." She said despite she was aware that declining an invitation explaining that she had plans with another person wasn't the politest thing but she preferred to tell Santana the truth.

"Ok ok, don't worry." Santana insisted once again cutting that conversation. Brittany didn't insist on explaining the reasons why she couldn't be with her.

Brittany was still so regretting to have said yes to the lunch with Erin, she was aware that nothing was going on between Santana and her but she didn't know why she was still eager of spending time with her now that the two of them were bonding in that way. On the other hand Erin was really nice and maybe something more was about to happen, it was just the beginning but she was confident on the fact that something more than a classic friendship could have been built.
"I'm sorry." She decided to end that conversation in that way since she was indeed sorry.
"Can you stop Brittany? Erin is a nice girl." She commented but Brittany could notice the fake tone in her voice.
"Listen.." She added after few seconds probably to change the topic of their conversation. ".. I've been thinking a lot on the all bullying thing in the past days."
That sentence immediately caught Brittany's attention. She was incredibly happy that Santana was taking that topic so seriously and it was incredibly obvious that all that thing had shaken her up in a good way. Maybe it was just what she was waiting for ot what she needed at that point of her life. Brittany wasn't sure on the reason that was driven Santana to act and to care so much about it but she was really glad about it.
"Aha." Brittany replied waiting for her to keep on speaking.
"I know that I've already apologized to you and that I've promised to try to be nicer to people but I really feel like I should do something more about it.."
"What do you mean with something more?"
Santana simply shrugged and smiled. "I don't really know what I've in mind.. I just would like to connect more with my fans.."
She suddenly shook her head as he was changing her mind.
"..I know it sounds just stupid."
Brittany hinted what was about to become a big smile but she tried to pull it back.
"Santana it's not stupid at all. This is probably the first nice thing that you're trying to do since I've started working for you."
Santana giggled at those words.
"Just because I don't want to put any other dollars in the jar." She commented teasing.
"Ahah." Brittany ironically glared her. "Ok, five bugs now!"
"Oh come on! I was just kidding!"
"You were sarcastic" she corrected her "and sarcasm is not a good thing!"
Santana snorted pretending to be annoyed.
"Liar, you love my sarcasm!"
I do.
"Sometimes." She replied teasing her but that felt more than a simple tease.
Santana put a hand in her bag and took five dollars from it. She lifted them up with two fingers and then she rolled her eyes back at Brittany and without saying anything she put the money in the jar.
"Happy?"
Brittany nodded with a smirk painted on her face, she was so loving the moments in which she was able to make Santana do the things she wanted her to do.
"However.. Do you have any ideas?"
She frowned and started thinking about a good answer and what could have really helped Santana.
"Mmm.. You said you want to connect more with your fans.. How about an interview?"
"No. Still too far from what I've in mind."
"Why don't you organize a sort of meeting with them?"
"Too complicated."
Then Brittany's face lit an and a bright light was shining in her eyes.
"Use a social network!"
Santana shook her head and was about to decline that offer once again but she was sure that it was a brilliant idea.
"Wait! It's perfect! You can talk to them, you can ask them questions and you can say whatever you want to say! In my opinion it's the perfect starting point! Plus it'll only improve your popularity!"
At those words Santana put again the hand into her bag and took ten dollars, she smirked and dropped them in the bitch's jar.
"I don't really need that." She commented winking at her, Brittany's stomach flipped.
How can this girl be so awesome?
"What do you thing about this idea?" She asked ignoring what she had just done.
"I've never used them.. I really don't know.." She explained. "But I'll think about it! I promise."
And Brittany smiled again at that polite sentence. She was totally fucked up. She was loving Santana being nice to her and she was loving Santana being a bitch to her.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Brittany thought getting out of that office.

01:45 pm

Santana scrolled the mouse of her computer to unlock the screensaver.
01.45 pm
The computer watch was saying.
Damn, she's still out with her.
Santana thought even if she knew that only 45 minutes had passed since Brittany had left the office. She had tried to make her go out as later as she could pretending to have so many things to work on, but then at 1.00 pm Brittany had told her that she was already late and that they would have continued in the afternoon. Santana had no other choice than to say yes and to let her go. She was so pissed off about the fact that Brittany had declined her invitation to have lunch with a person that she had just met. That was simply impolite and offensive, they hadn't seen each other for three days and Santana had realized how much she had missed that nerd, not just because she was a valuable assistant but also because Brittany was the only person she wanted to spend some time with. That was absurd, she knew that, but in the past days she couldn't help but think about her every two minutes and wonder what she was doing and if she was still spending time with Erin. Apparently they had bonded a lot since they were eating together and that was just upsetting her so much, she knew she had no rights to be mad at Brittany for dating or just seeing other people but she was feeling so annoyed by that thing.
And there she was waiting impatiently for her assistant to come back from her date, or whatever it was, just because she was dying to know how was it and what was going on between the two of them. She wasn't supposed to feel that way, how could she be jealous of a girl? How couldn't she be able not to think about Brittany all the time? What the hell was going on? Was she gay? She was aware that she was sexually attracted to that blonde trouble but was she really able to like, or worse love a girl? She had absolutely no clue and the worst thing was that she had no idea where to start to investigate her feelings.
She snorted.
Damn, I should do something to kill the time.
She suddenly remember Brittany's words.
You should use social networks.
Was that a good idea? She wasn't sure about that but since she had nothing to do in that moment and since she really needed to divert the attention from the thought of Brittany's date she opened the Internet browsers.
Most important social networks.
That was what she searched to try to make an idea of what she was about to face. She couldn't believe that she was about to subscribe to one of those sites she had always criticized and mocked. She scrolled all the possibility carefully reading all the features and the descriptions related to each websites. After a couple of minutes her mind was a little bit clearer and she had decided what she was about to do.
She took her iPhone and sighed.
Ok I can do that. Millions of teenagers do this all the time!
She opened the App Store icon and slowly wrote T -w - i - t - t - e - r and then she selected the options download app without thinking.
She had alredy decided that Brittany wouldn't have known about that since she didn't want to give her the satisfaction of the fact that she was always following her suggestions.
The application took just few seconds to be downloaded and at the end she clicked on the light blu icon to open it.
Hello, welcome on twitter.
Hello.
She shook her head.
I can't believe I'm really doing this.
Santana thought frowning and selecting the option create a new account.
She decided to put as requested email the work one since it was the only one she could remember and as a password she smiled and opted for slushiedbitch.
Who are you?
Santana Lopez.
And then something weird happened. She was expecting a thank you or a welcome pop-up or something like hat but conversely another page opened.
Are you the real Santana Lopez?

No bitch, I'm lying!

Be aware that if you click yes we are going to make a you a survey to prove that you are indeed who you are saying you are.

Seriously?

Yes.

An there it started, two infinite pages of personal data and information were there ready to be filled up. That took her more than twenty minutes but at the end she managed to click the last yes.
I already hate you twitter.
Thank you for subscribing. Take a photo or select one from your album.
Santana selected the first option and flipped the camera in order to be able to take herself a picture.
Please, try to seem smart.
She thought as winking at the phone's camera.
And there she was, finally subscribed with a regular account on that social network, there was only one problem, she had no clue about what she was supposed to do next.
Ok, now?
She checked the different options that that stupid application had and when she selected connections she giggled that what she saw. After only one minute she already had ten followers, or at least that was what twitter was communicating to her.
Who the fuck is Santana Lopez Germany?
She shook her head already regretting to have done something so stupid but she at least was trying to make something good for her fans and for people in general.
I should write something.
Santana leaned back in her chair thinking of what was about to become her first tweet.
I'm desperately attracted to my lesbian assistant who's on a date with another girl and I'm literally freaking out.
No maybe that wasn't the perfect start.
She was still thinking about what she was supposed to write when she heard the sound of the elevator doors opening.
Brittany.
She quickly opted for a brief Hi, I'm Santana Lopez! How are you doing?
And readily closed the application and hid the phone in the first drawer of her desk.
After ten seconds Brittany popped out and her smiling silhouette entered into the room.
"Hey! Look who's back!" Santana commented giggling embarrassed.
Brittany smiled at her.
Why is she smiling? Does it mean she had fun with Erin?
"Hi Santana. how was your lunch?"
"Ok." She replied without thinking since her mind was in a total black out. She was dying to know how was hers. "Yours?" She asked in a whisper.
Brittany smiled again.
Why the hell is she smiling like that?
"It was nice. We've talked a lot."
Great.
Santana smiled and pretend to be cool with that thing.
"Good." That was the only thing she managed to say.
"You know that Erin is half Brazilian and half Australian, pretty impressive, uh?"
Who the hell cares!
She smiled again, maybe too much this time.
"Wow. Incredible." She commented harshly.
Brittany immediately noticed the cold tone and frowned probably confused by what was going on.
"Is everything okay?"
No
"Yes."
At that quick cold answer Brittany decided that it was better not to insist. Damn she really knew how to deal with her and this was pissing Santana off even more. She was feeling like screaming and fighting with her about this date thing but she had no points where to start and she wasn't ready to tell Brittany the truth, mainly because she didn't know that the truth was.

03.00 pm

Santana checked once again the address on her cell phone and it was just the right one. She looked around shocked by the squalor of that place. Who ever thought that a place like that was just twenty minutes by car from her office. She was standing at the doorstep of a two-floor, old, little, house that was rising in the middle of that desert road. There was a welcome mat at the entrance and Santana understood that the rest of the house would have been exactly as it was: old, creased and ruined. She sighed and felt a little bit guilty before ringing the doorbell.
She immediately heard footsteps coming from the inside of the house, they stopped right in front of the door. Probably the other person was checking who was there.
"It's me, Santana." She announced her self to quicken the all thing. The other person didn't reply and waited a few seconds before opening the door.
When she heard the sound of the door unlocking her heart started beating faster than usual. It was the first time she was meeting that person since high school.
"Hi Quinn." She said when the blonde, older than she remembered, woman opened the door.
Quinn had a shocked, terrified expression painted on her face, Santana was probably the last person she was expecting to see at her place.
"W-w-what are you doing here?" She asked unbelieving.
"I needed to talk to somebody but I didn't want just to call you." She shrugged. "So I thought of stepping by and checking how are you doing. Can I come in?"
Quinn's jaw suddenly dropped and that made Santana hint a smile. Without saying anything she nodded and let her in. The house was exactly how she was expecting it to be: messy, old, poor and very uncomfortable. Santana made two steps into the apartment and just from the first look she felt a vice to her stomach.
"Wow. Very nice." She commented to be polite.
"Santana please." Quinn replied back clearly embarrassed of receiving a famous star in a place like that. Santana wasn't judging what she was seeing, she had learnt that Quinn had two children and she wasn't married. That meant only one thing : she had to provide for her children on her own and at 25 years old it was something very difficult if she didn't have a job that helped her to pay the rent. And clearly from what she was able to understand Quinn's job wasn't that good. Quinn drove her into a small kitchen where she was probably working at something since a lot of stuff and junk was on the round table.
Santana got closer and took a bracelet made up by two small rigid silver circles that were held together by a treble clef shaped pendant.
"Wow. This is really cute! Did you make it?" Santana asked truly believing in what she was saying.
Quinn immediately blushed and nodded.
"Yes, it's my job. I sell these things on the Internet."
"Impressive really!"
"It's not silver, you know." Quinn commented shaking her head with a sad tone.
"Well it's very nice." She paused for a second, she knew that Quinn had always been proud and had always hated people that were trying to help her but seeing her in those conditions was just breaking Santana's heart. Plus those bracelets weren't that bad.
"Listen why don't you send me some samples? You know I've a fashion brand I would use some new ideas!"
Quinn laughed nervously. " Santana thanks but I really don't need your help!"
As I was expecting.
"Ok, let me at least buy one of them!"
Quinn smiled, this time in a polite way and made her sign to take one. Santana chose the first one she had seen.
"It's a gift."
"Oh come on! Let me help you a little bit!"
"No I really appreciate this but there's no need. I'm fine, we're fine!" She explained referring to her children that luckily weren't home since Santana wasn't hearing any annoying sounds.
"You're exactly how I remember you to be!"
"Beautiful?"
"No, stupid!"
They both burst into a big laugh.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked out of the blue still shocked by the idea of having a famous singer into her house.
"Do you want to talk about Brittany?"
Santana immediately blushed awkwardly and couldn't uphold her gaze.
"Ohh you're blushing!" Quinn mocked her immediately.
"Is that so obvious?"
"What happened?
"I - I told her that I knew about the high school thing." She paused for a second. "Well actually she found out about it, she freaked out and quitted but I managed somehow to convince her to come back.." She summed up the best way she could.
"Wow. So? What's wrong now?"
Santana lowered her glance once again. She thought that maybe coming there to speak to her ex friend about a possible infatuation on her lesbian assistant hadn't been the smartest idea she had ever had.
"Well..I don't know what's wrong.."
"Oh no.." Quinn said.
"What?"
"You've just done the lip thing"
"Lip thing?" She asked goggling her eyes.
Quinn laughed again and for a second the view of her happy friend filled her heart of peace, but then she focused again on what Quinn was implying.
"You always bite your lower lip when you're talking about someone you like!"
"W-w-well I like her"
"Ohh you do!"
"What does it mean? I like her just as friend."
"Sure you do!"
"And how do you dare implying that I'm a lesbian?!" She said loudly.
"Santana I'm just trying to be honest with you. Plus I remember you making out, and maybe more, with another cheerleader."
Santana blushed again and she felt her stomach flipping and twisting.
She knows! Oh my god she knows.
"How how?"
"Oh come on, it wasn't such a secret! The other girl told everybody about the two of you!"
She let her head fall into her hands.
"Oh god, I can't believe everybody knew about me and her."
"It's not a big deal Santana, not anymore. The real issue is: do you like this girl?"
"I don't!" she screamed as she wanted to convince herself about that statement.

"Hey hey, ok! There's no need of yelling at me!"

"I'm sorry, I don't really know what's happening to me!"

"Can you at least explain to me why did you come here?"

"Ok, because I was literally freaking out. Brittany had gone on a date with another girl and that had just pissed me off and I don't know why. I know that I have no rights to be mad at her or at that other girl but I just can't stand the idea of her having fun with someone else." She said in one breath as she wanted to get rid of such a big weight.

Quinn smiled and slightly titled her head aside.

"Ok, so you're telling me that you don't want her to go out with anybody else and that the idea of her laughing with another girl makes you sick and you're still convinced that you don't like this girl?" she gave her the classic Quinn's please look.

"I – I …"

"I'm sorry if I'm the one who tells you this but…you have a big crush on this girl!"

Those words hit her incredibly, she was so desperately tryig to deny all the feelings she had towards Brittany and Quinn had just put her in front of the truth in just two seconds.

She immediately closed her eyes since she felt that something weird was happening to her, something she wasn't ready to experience, something she wasn't used to. She was about to start crying.

"Hey…" Quinn said noticing her desperation and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Everything is fine Santana. We'll find a way to solve this problem."

But Santana had already started crying and in a whispered managed to say.

"I've already screwed everything up." She confessed thinking about the big mistake she had done an hour before.

06:00 pm

Brittany opened the door with such a strength that it slummed loudly. She was so mad at that bitch that she couldn't control herself anymore. Everything had happened in just few seconds. She had decided to call Erin to tell her that they were going to meet in front of the gym in a couple of minutes but Erin told her something she wasn't expecting at all.

I got fired.

And then she told her that Santana had fired her earlier that afternoon. Brittany had listened to the story in silence while the rage was slowly growing into her body. She coulnd't belive that Santana had been able to do something like that. She had felt a hot, furious, angry wave coming from her flipping stomach. When Erin had finished speaking the only thing she had been able to say was I call you back and then she had rushed into Santana's office.

"Are you out of your mind?" she screamed at Santana that didn't seem surprised of that reaction like she was expecting that. Santana didn't say anything, she just stared at her with a weird expression that was a mix of hope and sadness.

What the fuck?

"Tell me! Please! Tell me why did you do that?" she screamed louder.

Santana was about to open her mouth but Brittany was so pissed off that she couldn't stop screaming.

"Fuck, Santana you're such a child sometimes! Now please tell why did you fire Erin!?" she stopped but Santana seemed to be paralyzed by her behavior. "Fuck, tell meee!" She shouted.

"Because I don't like you being with her!" she screamed back in one breath. that sentence seemed to be a cry of despair and liberation as she wanted to get rid of a big weight she had been hiding inside.

At those words Brittany froze and looked at her unbelieving.

"What?!"