ten.

month twenty-three. tour bus, denver, colorado.

Killian's chest aches heavily and he feels like the wind has been knocked straight out of his lungs. He closes his eyes and tries to keep from losing control, but he feels it already happening.

"Um… is she alright? Is the baby…"

"Everything's fine. They're both fine." David soothes him. "Emma's with the doctor right now. Otherwise I'd let you talk to her." He pauses. "I'm sorry this happened. She was over for lunch and she didn't look good. Like she hadn't slept in a while. And then she just… fainted."

Killian feels tears burning at his eyes because he isn't even there to help comfort her. He needs to be. "I'll be on the first flight I can catch. Tell her I'm on my way."

"Will do, Killian."

Killian hangs up his phone and slings out of the bunk, scrambling to get to the front of the bus. "Stop! I've got to get off."

/

month twenty-three. hospital, storybrooke, maine.

Killian arrives at Storybrooke's hospital at nearly eight at night. He's exhausted from a restless few nights and he hasn't eaten in hours, but he's finally here, in Maine, in Storybrooke, so he finds himself reinvigorated simply at the fact that he's in the same proximity as his Swan.

He all but runs inside.

His heart races and he's on the verge of tears, has been all day just thinking about how he wasn't here for Emma when she needed him. How he was the one that sent her home, how far he'd pushed and how far she'd taken it. How he hasn't heard a word from her lips in just about forty-eight hours.

Killian goes to the first nurse he finds and shakes his head. "I'm…"

"Your wife is just down the hall," she says on a smile. "I'll take you to her."

He doesn't even bother asking, because being on a television show and being in a band kind of does make it easier for him to believe that this nurse could know who he is.

He feels breathless as he walks with the nurse and his tears start burning closer to the edge. He glances down at himself and realizes that he hadn't even changed before coming here, and he's carrying his duffel bag, having come straight from the airport.

Liam doesn't even know he's come, but he must have some idea, especially it being that Emma's in the hospital.

When the nurse stops outside of a room, she smiles at him. "Okay. She's just inside."

Killian glances at the door and back at the woman before him. "Thank you."

She nods. "Congratulations, by the way."

He manages a smile as his heart swells at the mere thought of his little one. "Thank you."

Killian waits for the nurse to leave before he enters the room. He drags his fingers through his hair and blinks, releasing just one tear the second he sets eyes on his wife.

She's lying in her hospital bed, her fingers resting over her middle, and she's connected to the heart monitor and an IV. Her eyes are closed and her hair is up above her head as if she were frustrated with it.

But seeing her, seeing how angelic she looks, with the glow of pregnancy in her cheeks, makes his heart stop. She's somehow his and he doesn't know how he ever thought he could let her go.

Killian finds a chair beside her bed and releases a heavy breath as he sinks down into it. He sets his duffel bag down on the floor and licks his lips as he leans forward, leaning his elbows onto his knees.

He folds his hands together as he stares at Emma and he wants to speak with her, but seeing her asleep like this makes him feel better.

Her head turns to him in her sleep and she suddenly opens her eyes. For a moment, she appears confused, but then a tiny smile fills her lips and she reaches out toward him with her hand.

"Hi," she whispers.

Killian grabs her hand and kisses her palm as tears start to fall. He manages to smile at her. "Hey."

He holds her hand against his lips and they study each other for a few long moments and his heart feels like it could jump straight out of his chest.

"I'm sorry," he says, sitting up straight again. He takes a shaky breath. He's still holding Emma's hand and he doesn't think he'll ever let it go. "I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry I wasn't here. I should have been here with you. I shouldn't have had to be hundreds of miles away on a tour bus-"

She shakes her head.

"It's not your fault." Emma says and tears are in her eyes, too, as she speaks lowly. "It's mine. I should have listened to you. I was just too stubborn to."

Killian just stares at her. "Emma."

She pulls her hand away from his and reaches up to cup his cheek. He leans into her gentle touch and she traces her thumb over the scar beneath his eye.

"I'm okay," she promises. "We're both okay. I just fainted and the doctors want me here overnight to monitor me in case. They were reading my blood pressure as being a little too high, I guess." Emma takes a breath and a smile finds her lips. "I saw the baby again. He's getting big."

Killian searches her eyes and narrows his. "He?"

Emma's smile spreads and she laughs, nodding. "Yeah. It's a boy. You were right."

He laughs once, then reaches for her hand and kisses it again. His tears come full force now, streaking down his cheeks as he stands up and leans over the side of Emma's hospital bed.

He kisses her soundly, then smiles as he nuzzles her nose. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. I-"

"Shhh," she whispers as their eyes meet. "It's okay, Killian. It was my fault that I ended up here. You were right about a lot of things."

For a moment, he stares at her, and then he leans back, trailing his gaze down to her middle. He presses a hand against it and then kisses Emma's forehead.

"So, it's a boy."

She hums. "And he's fine. The doctor said he's growing really well and I think I felt him move a little bit earlier."

Killian grins at the idea. "That's good, then." He meets Emma's eyes. "We'll have to start thinking of names."

Emma laughs and he sees pure joy in her eyes, a sight that produces joy in his own heart. "Yeah."

"He's going to be a handsome lad," Killian shakes his head. "No thanks to the both of us."

His wife rolls her eyes. She swats his chest and he just beams at her before kissing her sweetly. "I love you, Emma Swan."

Emma sighs. "And I love you, Killian Jones."

/

month twenty-three. emma and killian's house, storybrooke, maine.

After a night of poor sleep in a hospital chair, Killian carries his duffel bag and holds Emma's hand as they walk up the walkway to their house.

She's been quiet since she was discharged from the hospital, after having her agree that she'll rest and make healthier choices. He can tell she hadn't slept well, either, because despite his presence beside her, he'd watched her go in and out of sleep most of the night.

As soon as he opens the front door, he relaxes, because it's home and he's missed it more than he'd thought he had. Buddy is quick to find him, yipping and trotting straight for him excitedly.

He chuckles and barely closes the door behind them before he drops to his knees and accepts happy licks and kisses from his pup. He drops his bag beside him and scratches behind Buddy's ears.

"Hey, Buddy," Killian says in greeting. "Have you been good for Uncle Liam and Aunt Elsa? Hm?"

He laughs when Buddy just wants to keep giving his face a good licking. Killian forces Buddy to stop when he rises up again. Buddy pants happily at his feet and gives a bark of excitement.

"Yes, I know, the whole family's back together," Killian laughs. He turns to Emma, finding her laughing. "It's so nice to be home."

Emma nods. She starts to walk toward the stairs. "I'm gonna take a shower because I feel like I've been in the hospital for a day."

Killian hums. "Well…"

She laughs and he winks at her.

"I'll prepare something for lunch. I assume Elsa and Liam are off at work."

Emma sighs. "Yeah. They'll be back at dinnertime. I told David to tell them what was going on so they know where I was last night."

Killian nods in understanding. "Well, you go shower up and I'll bring lunch to the bedroom."

She looks at his bag on the floor and he sees her reaching out to take it, but he shakes his head as he goes to grab it instead.

"No, no, Swan, I've got it. You just got home from the hospital. Just go have a shower."

Emma rolls her eyes. "Killian, I was just in the hospital for a little high blood pressure. I'm not going to break."

Killian stares at her, soaking in the way she looks right now, and he feels weary, giving his head a slight shake. "I love you and I- gods, Emma, I was so scared."

Her lighthearted smile fades and a crease fills her brow as she steps forward until she reaches him.

"Hey," she murmurs, "I'm okay. I'm home now. You heard the doctor. Everything's fine."

Killian forces a smile and shakes his head again. "I know. I hadn't heard from you in a day and the next thing I heard was you were in the..."

He chokes on the words and tears fill his eyes as he relives the moment he'd received the phone call. He can still see her lying in that hospital bed, can still feel fear tangible in his veins, as if he's still wondering if her life is at risk or if she's going to be okay- if their child would be okay.

Emma steps into him. Her arms wrap around his neck and she buries her face there as his arms tighten around her. He drops his lips to the top of her head and closes his eyes as he breathes her in as deep as he can.

"I'm here," she promises him. "I'm okay."

/

It feels like they hadn't ever left.

Emma, freshly showered and redressed, sits with Killian on their bed. Buddy curls up at Killian's side, much to his delight, and they eat grilled cheese sandwiches and drink milk as they watch TV.

It's almost as if they haven't been touring for over a month and are still in the middle of a massive national commitment. It's almost as if it's just always been them sitting at home, cozy and warm, all of the cares gone from their shoulders.

"Well, that's a bloody mistake," Killian scoffs at the screen as soon as the episode ends.

Emma chuckles. "I was right, though, so you know what that means?"

Her teeth graze along her lower lip as she turns to her husband. He raises a wild eyebrow and she lifts her feet.

"Foot massage, please."

Killian laughs. He shuts off the television and slides down the bed, until he's sitting at her feet. He takes one of her feet into his hands and begins to knead it, producing a soft sigh from her lips.

She hums. "You've still got it."

"I don't think I could have ever lost it, love," he teases, that eyebrow still sky high.

Buddy jumps off of the bed and goes padding out of the room. Emma presses her hands over her middle.

"I think I need to stay home," Emma says. "I'll ask for help with the band's stuff for a little while and I'll focus on staying healthy for the baby."

Killian releases a sigh. He frowns a little, but nods. "Okay." He pauses and stops massaging her foot. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," she promises. Emma's heart aches with even the idea of being apart again. "When do you have to leave?"

"Well, the next show's tomorrow night. I can stay tonight but I have to leave first thing."

Emma nods. "Yeah."

Killian crawls away from her feet and moves up her body so he's hovering over her. He smiles in spite of their conversation. "We'd probably best make the best of our time together, then."

She hums as her arms loop around his neck. Her smile curves on it's own. "Probably."

/

Liam and Elsa come home at the same time, and it's what rouses Killian as he's dozing off beside Emma in their bed. Her head is against his chest and his arm is wrapped around her, holding her tight.

Sighing heavily, Killian tickles his fingers down Emma's arm. He kisses her forehead.

"Emma, they're back," he murmurs.

She shifts a little and groans, burrowing her face into his neck. "I don't want to get up."

He chuckles. "Well. I don't think I want either of them walking in on us like this."

So, begrudgingly, Emma peels away from him. She just buries herself under the blankets as Killian removes himself from bed. He dresses and then grabs Emma's shirt from the floor. He settles it on the bed and takes the comforter from her head.

Her hair sticks to her forehead and she winces up at him, and all he can envision is their little boy being half as stubborn and sleepy as she is right now after a nap. He drops a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll be downstairs."

Emma sighs. "Okay."

There's a moment where he just soaks in her beauty, and then he leaves her be, heading out and shutting the door behind him.

Killian jogs down the stairs and listens as Elsa laughs at something his older brother had said. It makes Killian smile to himself.

"Killian!" Elsa suddenly gasps.

He barely gets a chance to see her when she's running into him, giving him a warm hug in greeting. Killian laughs. "Hi, Elsa. How are you?"

She pulls away from him and sighs. "Emma was so sad when she came back. I'm so glad you came back to her."

Killian smiles softly at the comment from his sister-in-law, then finds Liam approaching from behind her. Liam steps to him and they embrace warmly.

"I'm glad to see you, Killian," Liam says.

Liam claps Killian on the back a few times and Killian closes his eyes tight. After everything he's been through in these past few weeks, this hug means the entire world to him.

"It's good to be home again, Liam."

When they part, Liam stares at him and then glances over at his wife. "Well, I guess we'd better set the table for four tonight."

Elsa grins widely. "How exciting." She pauses, then furrows her brow. "Is Emma back from the hospital? We were so worried about her."

"Aye," Killian says. "We were napping a bit. It's been a rough few days for her." Killian glances up the stairs when he hears the door open and turns back to Elsa with a smirk. "And we've got some news about the baby."

"Oh?" Elsa's eyes widen and so does her smile.

As soon as Emma comes to the first floor, she has a pleasant smile on her face. "Hey you guys."

"Are you feeling better?" Liam asks.

She nods. "Yeah. The doctor just wants me to rest more and eat healthier."

Elsa and Liam both bob their heads.

Emma settles her hand over her middle as her stomach gurgles. "Speaking of eating, I should probably do that."

Elsa laughs. "Yes. Let's make some dinner."

/

Emma finishes off two plates of the dinner that Elsa had prepared so diligently before finally feeling full.

Conversation has been light. Mostly, questions about tour, and about how Killian's doing, and she's just happy to get to share a meal at her husband's side, because she knows things are going to be different for a while.

"You said you had some news about the baby," Elsa says as they sit there with empty plates.

Emma glances up at Killian and he grins at her. "Aye. Swan, would you care to share?"

She smiles and Killian takes her hand under the table. "Okay. While I was at the hospital, they had a look at the baby, and they told me that... it's a boy."

Elsa gets the most excited look on her face that Emma has ever seen. She and Liam exchange glances and then high-five, something that makes Emma laugh out of confusion.

"We were right," Elsa explains. "We were just talking about it the other night and we were right."

Killian laughs. "So was I. I thought it'd be a boy."

Emma's heart feels light as she watches her husband elaborate on about how excited he is that he's going to have a son and she starts to feel tears in her eyes, but she doesn't let them go.

She leans her head against his shoulder as the four of them sit in the living room later, after dishes and more conversation, and she tries to stay awake as they watch a movie, but she ends up falling asleep.

She wakes up as Killian sets her down in bed and she smiles up at him. Her fingers press against his cheek. "Thank you."

He hums. "You fell straight asleep. I don't think you even saw a minute of it."

She nods wordlessly and Killian kisses her hand, then her forehead. "It's alright. You're tired."

Emma watches Killian as he gets ready for bed and then when he lies down beside her, she curls up against him. He sets his alarm and the idea that they only have a few hours left makes her curl even closer.

Killian's hand presses against the side of her baby bump and he kisses her forehead again. "I'm going to miss you so bloody much. Both of you."

Emma closes her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. "There's just a month left. We'll have to Facetime more."

Killian is quiet. "Aye."

"The tour will be over sooner than you think," she whispers, and she's not sure for whose benefit she's saying it for.

They lie there in silence for a few long minutes and she almost thinks that he's asleep, but then he says, "Charlie."

Emma feels his fingers warm against her belly and she smiles against the skin of his neck.

"Yeah." She moves so she can look down at her bump. "That's a good name. Charlie."

The name resonates within her chest and she feels at peace with it, so much so that she smiles wider as she swipes her thumb over her middle in a soothing circle. The child within her stirs a little.

"I love it."

Killian hums. "Charlie needs rest, then, Swan."

Emma can't help but smile a little wider. "Okay."

/

Killian gets dressed in the dark quiet of his bedroom and gathers up what things he needs.

Emma's asleep, pleasantly curled up on his side of the bed, her hands tucked under his pillow.

After his alarm had gone off, he'd retreated for the shower, and had come back to find this sight before him, his wife with her hair spread wildly on his pillow, and her swelled middle providing the most pleasant sight under the thin sheet after she must have kicked the comforter away.

His shoes on, Killian approaches the side of the bed and drops down to his knees so he can study Emma's face. He lifts his fingers carefully to her face and brushes back her hair, then rubs his hand down her arm.

"Emma," he says, keeping his voice gentle and low. "Darling, I've got to go."

Her eyes open and she blinks a few times. She furrows her brow and glances up at the alarm clock. "Why did you let me fall asleep again?"

Killian shakes his head. "Sleep is important."

Emma presses her lips together and sighs through her nose. She drops a hand to her middle and suddenly laughs.

"What is it?"

"He wants to say goodbye, I think," Emma murmurs. She takes his hand and presses Killian's against the curve of her belly.

Below his hand, he feels a little bit of acrobatics, and it makes a smile spread wide on his face. "He's an athlete."

Emma laughs and he can see tears in her eyes, just as there are tears in his. Killian boosts himself up to his feet again after the moment passes and his son stops moving.

"I'll let you know when I land," Killian tells her. "And I'll call before the show as long as you're awake."

She nods. "Okay."

Killian leans down and kisses her. It's bittersweet, because their time together had been minimal at best, and he so wishes he could have had more of it. He leans his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He moves away from her and drops a kiss to her bellybutton, whispering just loud enough for her to hear, "Be good for your mum, Charlie. I love you."

With one last look at Emma, Killian gathers up his things and leaves.