Our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with all those who have survived Katrina. May God bless you, and help you get through this time.

(Grrrr. Okay. This is the FOURTH time posting this durn chapter. Breaks have been added. Not sure why they didn't show the first time. Title has been fixed. And having to delete and readd a chapter umpteen times is not fun. Someone just have mercy and shoot me, please?)

Authors note… Do not even ask me where my mind was when I was writing this. I'm not sure I wanna know where it was exactly. I thought about just scrapping this chapter and starting over, but I have two friends still unaccounted for in LA and GA and I just can't see myself sitting still long enough to rewrite it. I'll be hiding under the piano so no one can throw rotten veggies. And don't EVEN ask what the heck is up with Voldemort in this chapter, because I have no bloody idea.

(Review replies are at the bottom)

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own anything but the plot. And the baby.

Chapter 10 – New Beginnings and Journals

Hidden deep within the stonewalls of the castle, in a thrice guarded undisclosed room, several students sat grouped together, sitting on the floor with dark frowns. Had anyone seen them together, they might have died of shock, but then the same might have happened with a Potter Malfoy friendship only months before.

In the middle of the semi-circle sat Millicent Bulstrode, Ginevra Weasley, and Neville Longbottom.

"So what do we do? Potter's not going to be able to come back, not until Dumbledore is gone at least. That means we've lost our DADA professor as well as the potions professor, and two of the few professors who were actually protecting everyone without prejudice. We can't fight fire with fire, nor can we guarantee that a student won't be left alone."

Dean Thomas shook his head, dreadlocks bouncing. "Everyone needs to know their shielding and blocking spells first and foremost. Those young enough that they haven't covered them yet need to be taught. Everyone who shows friendliness towards a Slytherin, or who a Slytherin shows friendliness towards is going to be endangered, but we can't let that stop us. This war has separated our houses too long, and we can't let anyone tear apart what we've finally started fixing."

"And we can guarantee that the students here at least won't be alone in the corridors. Bring as many people as you can who are like-minded to us. A lot of us have the same classes, or close to the same classes, and we can start walking in couples and groups. We'll partner up. If one is kept after class, then that person's partner is to wait for them just outside the door. No exceptions." Pansy cut in.

"What if one of the teachers walks by and questions why we're there?"

"Simply tell them you're waiting on your friend to walk to the next class together. It's close to the truth, and Dumbledore will be pleased we're taking the threat so seriously. If you're found together with a Slytherin, no offense you guys, by Dumbledore, either act as though you're only getting along for school purposes, or the Slytherin in question is rethinking their dark upbringing." Neville paused. "You must never give Dumbledore a reason to suspect what's really going on. I don't think we need to point out why."

Luna was leaning back against a wall, her face buried in an upside down book. "So all together we have a missing Savior who disappeared after our fearless leader left him with abusive relatives only to then rape him and use a memory charm that didn't work and now he's in hiding to keep the fearless leader from taking his child and the fearless leader is really a spineless freak who has been playing everyone and we're now attempting to thwart him by learning whatever we can by pretending to be mindless little drones who follow anything he says, right?"

Ginny's lips curved slightly as she looked at her friend. "Exactly."

Luna shrugged. "Okay then." Everyone blinked and turned to stare at her. "What? It only proves what my father has been saying since he met Dumbledore at the end of last year."

"And what's that Luna?"

"That Dumbledore is a manipulative old bastard."

It had been a week since Severus had told Harry about the way to change the baby's parentage, and it was all he had thought about. He had even made a short list of the people he thought he could trust. Sirius, Ron, Fred and George, Draco, Severus, and Remus. It was a pitifully short list considering these were supposed to be those he trusted. Remus he wasn't sure about, because he hadn't seen the werewolf since the summer. Sirius was immediately counted out too. Other than the fact he was Harry's godfather, he was also madly in love with Remus, and Remus madly in love with him. He'd known it since fifth year, the little looks they would give each other. Remus had been devastated when Sirius fell through the veil. Ron was his brother. Just as were any of the Weasley's his family. None of them would do. That left Draco and Severus.

He threw the list angrily and it bounced off the wall. "Who am I kidding?" He mumbled to himself. "I'll never be able to do it anyways."

"I thought young men your age grew out of temper tantrums?" The cool voice from the doorway caused Harry to jump, and turn, automatically leveling his wand at the intruder's head. He froze slightly when he who saw it was, unsure of whether or not to lower his wand. "I'm not going to attack you, Mr. Potter. As far as I know right now we're on the same side of things."

"And which side is that?"

"The side against Dumbledore." Harry lowered his wand just a notch, allowing the elder man to step into the room. His black hair hung loose around his pale face, contrasting more sharply than even Snape's, and set off profusely by the pair of scarlet red eyes. "I give you my word as a Wizard that no harm will come to you by my supporters or myself while you are here, Mr. Potter. Would you please put away your wand now?"

He hesitated for a just a moment, before slipping the wand back up his sleeve where he could grab it if needed. Voldemort noted the action and arched an aristocratic eyebrow at him. "You'll forgive me if I'm not an entirely trusting soul, I'm sure."

"Be that as it may, trusting or not, I have brought some things for you." Harry opened his mouth to say something, but the Dark Lord easily cut him off. "I had Severus to retrieve them for me, and I know you have his word as a Wizarding oath that he won't let anything happen to your child, so at least perhaps you'll trust that these books are safe?"

Harry frowned minutely. "As safe as the diary Lucius slipped Ginny?"

Voldemort blanched. "I had forgotten about that. Safer than that. Though these are journals, but not mine. I believe they belonged to one Lily Evans."

Harry's head shot up. "How did you have them then?"

"Did I say I did? I said I had Severus to retrieve them, did I not?" He shrugged. "Think what you will, Mr. Potter." He placed the shrunken set of books on the bed and they popped back to thin volumes. "Have a good day."

Harry was left in silence as he stared between the books on the bed and the back of the man who was leaving. How had his world gotten so mixed up?

Voldemort sat back in his chair looking at the paper in his hand, at the very short list of people he'd picked up from Potter's room. He knew that Severus had finally told the boy about the potion and spell, and he knew what this list was for. He'd lingered outside the door for several minutes before opening it, listening to the Potter boy mumbling to himself. He glanced at the list again, mentally debating the pros and cons of each person. The first one he had to agree with Harry.

Sirius was too much of a father figure to the boy, and was indeed desperately in love with Remus Lupin. The Weasley boys… Now that would certainly be an interesting selection. But, again, they were brothers to Harry. Ron had too much of a temper when someone pressed him, and Fred and George… The thought of either of them as a parent was down right frightening. All of them would make good uncles for the child though. Draco, hm, that could possibly work. Draco still had his moments of immaturity though, and would want to raise a child by his ideals. He was like his father, wanted things his way or no way. He briefly remembered having witnessed first hand one of Lucius and Narcissa's first fights about how they would raise Draco, and he chuckled slightly. Severus now that was a possibility in his mind. Severus who had lived with an abusive father would do nothing but love a child. He might be stern or strict, but he would never harm a child. Would it be safe though, to put Severus and Harry together as fathers when Dumbledore would surely be after both of their heads? They were both exceptionally strong wizards though, and together could be quite a team. Especially to protect someone they both cared for. Severus was already tied emotionally to both Harry and the child. He'd sworn to keep both of them safe, and Severus didn't pledge himself to anyone lightly. He dismissed Remus without much thought. He was a gentle person, but his lycanthropy always ran the chance of being passed down. Never mind the fact that Sirius' feelings for him were returned ten-fold.

He remembered Harry's angry words at himself as he slung the parchment to the wall. Would he be able to go through with it? Voldemort believed that with the right person he could, and right now the right person looked like Severus. He knew Severus well, and know the potions master would be both gentle and patient with Harry, and that was what he would need. The more quickly the spell was done, the better. Dumbledore would lose his connection to the child and wouldn't be able to pull another stunt like he had the passed week.

Now, how to convince both Mr. Potter and Severus Snape? A grin that would have frightened those who knew how his mind worked appeared, a light flashing in his eyes. "Wormtail, tell Narcissa that I wish to speak to her!"

Harry was sound asleep on his bed, papers scattered around him when Ron and Blaise slipped into the room. Ron smiled slightly, picking up the papers and stacking them semi-neatly on the desk. Blaise was leaning back against the wall, watching Ron with a curious gleam in his eyes. "It's hard to believe you two are the same age the way you hover over him."

Ron laughed softly. "You should see George if Fred gets sick then. Or vice versa. They're worse than I am."

"Ah, but that's to be expected with those two." Ron nodded in response, his eyes taking on a worried cast as he flopped down in the windowsill watching over Harry.

"I swear, I could kill Dumbledore with my bare hands for this. I don't understand how he could hurt him like this, or why? What was the purpose? The point? Harry's been through enough to make anyone else run away. Yet he's still here."

Blaise sat down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Harry's a strong person, and not just magically. It's good for him to have people to lean on though. Especially someone like you."

Ron blushed, then looked shamefaced. "But I'm not always so good for him. Look what I did in fourth year. I completely turned away, just because I was jealous. I thought he was going to die when I saw him against that dragon. With the other three it had been fun to watch, but when he walked in… That was when I realized how much younger he was than the other three. That Harry wouldn't have put himself in that danger on purpose. Merlin! He looked so little, and then I remembered him going against Quirrell, and the basilisk, Tom Riddle, the acromantulas… all of it in one image. He had never gone seeking adventure, he only went to help when there was no other choice." He sighed, dropping his head back against Blaise's shoulder without thinking. "I was a horrible friend to him that year."

"But you made it up to him. You were his friend again, and knowing Potter he probably forgave you just that quick."

Ron nodded. "He did. Still, I can't think about fourth year without being guilty."

Blaise gently turned Ron's head to face him. "He forgave you. Maybe it's time you forgave yourself. You really are a good person," his violet gaze held Ron's soft blue eyes. "Very good, and kind, and loving." He paused, his eyes never wavering from Ron's. "And very, very handsome." Ron's cheeks went red up to his ears, and before he could say anything Blaise's lips had found his, catching them in a soft kiss.

Neither was aware of the very amused and content gaze coming from Harry's bed.

Dear Diary,

The handwriting was so small and childish that Harry couldn't help but to marvel over it.

My name is Lily Marie Evans, and I am eleven years old. This is my first ever diary. Mum thought that since I'm doing something so special, I should keep a record of it. I am going to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Tonight is my first night here, and it's so beautiful. The feeling as soon as you walk through the doors is like coming home. I already love it, and I've already made my first friend here. He's kinda pale, like he don't ever go outside, and he has long black hair. He has the strangest eyes too. They're black as coal, and look right through you. He's quiet, and I think he's shy, maybe a little scared. He tries to hide it like all other boys though, by being an evil brat.

I met him on the train here. Everywhere else was full. I asked if I could sit with him and he just ignored me! Well, I didn't have a choice so I sat there anyways. He had a busted lip, and I think maybe that's why he was trying to ignore me. A lady came around with a snack tray, and I bought some sweets and asked for some ice. She seemed really nice. Like my Gran. I wrapped the ice in a napkin and put it on his lip. I thought he was going to be mad, but he just looked up and stared at me. I swear those eyes give me the creeps the way he stared. After that we started talking though. I learned that he has three 'siblings' as he says. I think he's really nice now, and I can't wait to make more friends. I only hope that all of them don't act the way Sevrus did to start with.

-

I got sorted into Gryffindor at the feast by this great talking hat. I swear it talked! I can't wait to tell Mum and Dad. Our house colors are red and gold, and it's so very pretty in the dorm rooms. Severus was sorted into Slytherin. He told me on the train that he would be. I don't know why. They all seem so very cold and not nice at all. They're colors are green and silver, and their symbol is a snake. Ours is a lion.

I'm going to go now. I'm so very sleepy.

Harry chuckled slightly. He could imagine an eleven-year-old Snape. Severus, he reminded himself. He didn't like the fact that he'd had a busted lip though. It brought a strange anger boiling in his chest at the thought someone would hurt him. Not just that it was a kid, but that it was Sna – Severus.

Dear Diary,

I've made more friends already! Three boys from my house. Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black. But oh my gosh, they don't like Severus! Sirius is mean to anyone he doesn't like, and can still be a git to his friends. He's already pranked everyone in our year. James Potter is a prankster too, but he doesn't seem quite as mean. Unless, Severus is around. I nearly boxed James' ears for him for hexing Severus! I don't care if they are my friends, they have no right to hex my other friend just because they don't like what house he's in. I swear boys are so stupid!

Remus Lupin is completely different from them. He's so quiet and shy, that at first he reminded me of Severus. He knows how to play a good joke, but his jokes aren't mean like Sirius and James' are. He has the most peculiar eyes too. I've never seen eyes like that. They're almost amber. Or maybe they are amber. They're so amazing and calm. Like… like a wolf's.

Gotta go or I'm going to miss potions with Pro. Mikals.

Steadily, Harry became more and more immersed in the book, smiling at his mother's descriptions, and explanations. Her time at Hogwart's had been so fun, and filled with adventure, but nothing deadly, and it made Harry ache with envy. He could almost feel all the emotion that came through the pages. The anger, happiness, laughter, the indignation when Sirius or James pranked her. He even felt her loneliness, empathizing with it with a sharp pang of regret.

He read in amazement as Lily Evens described a Petunia that he had never gotten to know, and the ache swelled. Lily's Petunia was a softhearted girl, with a smile for everyone and a helping hand. A girl who longed to grow up and become a doctor or nurse so she could help everyone. She loved younger kids and couldn't wait to grow up and have a houseful of them, and Lily said she was always volunteering to baby-sit without even asking to be paid. Like Lily, she hated the fact that someone could hurt another child. He was into the second year journal when he found out just how much she hated it.

I hate Mr. Snape. No, I take that back. I don't hate the man. I loathe him. He disgusts me, and he shouldn't be allowed to live, much less have a child. I don't care what Severus says; I know he didn't get those bruises falling down a damned set of stairs.

He had to stop there, his eyes round at the fact that his mother had cursed. She hadn't before.

What a way to spend Christmas, being beaten. Remus is going to help me later. I told him I had a friend that had been injured, and Remus is good with that kind of magic. He's also the only one of my Gryffindor friends who won't mind helping with Severus, though he doesn't know its Severus yet. Maybe this will make them start to get along?

I can only hope that something good comes of it. I'd love to know a really good hex for the next time I see that man. He needs to be castrated to keep him from having any more children!

It's time to go. I hope I remember the binding spell; cause that's the only way Severus is going to stay still when he sees whom I've brought with me.

Harry found himself fervently wishing that someone had taught Mr. Snape a lesson along the way. He sighed, rubbed his eyes, and was startled to find Lucius Malfoy looking in at him.

"Do you know how disconcerting it is to look up and find a former enemy staring at you?"

Lucius smirked slightly. "My Lord thought I should come check on you, as you had not requested any lunch or supper."

"Is it that late?" Lucius nodded. "I'm sorry, sir." The words were out before Harry could stop them, but Lucius still ranked with Uncle Vernon in Harry's mind. After all, Harry remembered Dobby's pained cries vividly.

"Whatever are you apologizing for?"

"I didn't mean to inconvenience you sir, that's all."

"You're not bothering him, Harry. You're in his manor, and he's the host. It's only good manners that he come check on you." Severus slipped in the door past Lucius carrying a food tray. "You do need to eat though. How are you feeling?"

"Honestly Severus, I would have called an elf to bring him something." Severus' didn't reply as he'd moved the books aside and placed the tray across Harry's lap. "Why don't you take him down to the gardens after he eats? The fresh air will no doubt do him some good. Besides, if he doesn't go out he'll become as pale as you."

Severus'shot Lucius a dark look, but he nodded. "I'm surprised he's tolerated being in here for this long, actually."

"Dursleys." Harry reminded him absently, eyes locked on the meat. He wasn't sure but he thought it might have been duck. A small bite confirmed it, and a small smile chased across his face.

Severus moved away from the bed. "I'll be back in half an hour, Mr. Potter, then we'll go outside for a bit."

Harry nodded in response, though before Severus left a new head popped around the door. "Severus! There you are! I've been looking all over." Narcissa Malfoy smiled, and then turned her head towards Harry, who she'd not seen before now. Harry's hand automatically twitched closer to his wand, his eyes watching her warily. "If you should need anything, Potter, don't hesitant to ask, alright?"

Harry nodded slowly. Was this really the same woman that had sneered down her nose at him at the professional quidditch match so long ago? "I'll keep that in mind, ma'am."

"You be sure to do that. Severus, a word in private if you will?"

Severus' eyebrows shot up but he followed her out into the hall and to her study anyways. The door shut soundlessly behind them, and she turned to face him with the most curious expression on her face. "Did you know that our lord was going to visit Mr. Potter today?"

"Yes. He asked me to bring some things he wanted for him. Why?"

"He… overheard Potter talking to himself. It was a most enlightening conversation from what he tells me."

Severus snorted. He could only imagine what had been overheard. "What is it you're wanting from me, Narcissa?"

"Did you know that he's trying to figure out who would make a good second father?"

"Yes." He hated it when she ignored his questions.

"Well, the lord and I were conferring, and since Potter is a bit low on those he can trust, we thought that we might give him a little help."

Severus stood straighter, his eyes narrowing. "Exactly what are you up to, Narcissa?"

"You've been around him the most, you know him better than we do certainly. You could surely compare him with some of the other Death Eaters and choose from them some that would be a good match."

He nearly choked on his breath. "You want me to do what!" Inflection be damned. What were they thinking?

"Now Severus, it's not that bad. But you of all people must see that the sooner it's done, the better. He must choose someone to father the child. Until he does, Dumbledore can still find ways to attack him. He must break Dumbledore's ties to that child, and he can't do that without finding another father."

"No." Severus' voice was quiet, so quiet that it was almost inaudible, but it stopped Narcissa's tirade.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, no. You're not doing this."

"Severus –"

"No, Narcissa. If you do what you intend, then it will break that boy, and I won't stand by for it!" His voice rose, and he slammed his fist on the desk, causing Narcissa to jump.

"What right have you to say what we can or cannot do concerning him!"

"He has my Wizarding oath, Narcissa, and I gave that wholeheartedly to protect his baby, and to protect him. What you are planning could cause Harry to self destruct, and I will not let you do that."

She sneered. "If I didn't know better I would think you're letting your emotions get in the way of your better judgment, Severus. If I didn't know better I'd say you actually give a damn."

Severus went still, but instead of closing off his face he brought his eyes to hers, letting her see outright the anger in his gaze. "I give a damn, Narcissa, because I was the one with him when I told him how it would have to be done. He went to pieces, and I won't be a part of hurting him like that." He turned and stormed out of the room, cloaks billowing like a great thundercloud around his feet. Narcissa could only stare at the dent in her desk. Maybe she should recruit a helper for this.

"Pro – erm, Severus?"

"Still having trouble with that? What is it?"

Harry was staring up at the fountain in front of them. A mother, father, and three small children stood grouped together, smiling. Harry sat down on the side of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the cool water. "In the Muggle world, they've done studies that say if… if you've been abused then you'll probably abuse your own kids if you have any. Do you think that's true?"

Severus frowned, settling down by the younger man. "I think it's a possibility, but I don't really think it's true. Harry, we are who we choose to be. I've seen some people go through horrific things, but still grow up to be the best people, the best parents." He paused, watching the pensive look on Harry's face. "Sometimes people like to have an excuse for their own behavior. If they're abused, then they think they have a ready made excuse for being a shitty parent when they don't really feel like trying."

Harry blinked at him surprised, before nodding. "I guess so."

"Harry, you will be a good parent for this child."

"How can you be sure? How can I be sure of that?"

"The fact you're concerned enough to actually ask about it says a lot, Harry. And I've seen you with the students. That night in the infirmary, I saw the worry in your eyes, especially for Ambrosia and Tyler. You can't be that concerned for a child that isn't yours and not be a good parent, Harry." He settled his long fingers on Harry's shoulder, giving a soft squeeze that was no longer so awkward. "You're not alone in this, remember that."

Harry bit his lip, unsurely placing his hand over the fingers on his shoulder without looking up. "How am I to be a good parent, if I can't… if I can't change the other to someone who's not a rapist?"

"You can still change the parentage after the birth, Harry."

"But until I do the child is in danger, and I still have a ways to go before its time for this little one to be born."

"You're strong enough to protect him or her though."

"Am I? Am I really?"

"Yes. And even if you're not you have a whole support team here. Family, friends, people who really do care for you."

Harry nodded before suddenly changing subjects, swinging out into the left field. "What's it like to have a real family?"

Severus frowned slightly at the back of Harry's head, whether for the change in subject or the subject itself, he wasn't sure. "What makes you think I have one?"

"Mum's journals."

"Ah. You mean my brothers and sister then." It seemed odd to have Harry Potter, the boy he'd once thought to be more spoiled than Draco, asking about a 'real family'. "It's nice I suppose. I haven't seen them in awhile. They're not in this country."

"Did they not go to Hogwarts then?"

Severus shook his head. "They all went to Beauxbaton's." He watched Harry for a moment, watching the way he frowned and ran a hand over his swelling abdomen. He needed to distract Harry from whatever dark thoughts going through his head. "Would you like to know about them?"

Harry snapped his head around in surprise, gazing at his professor turned ally turned… friend? Protector? Life was so weird sometimes. "If you don't mind sir."

"I don't mind. They're all older than me, from my father's," he couldn't keep the venom off that word, "first marriage. That's why they went to Beauxbaton's."

"Lucky them."

Snape snorted his agreement. "Sebastian's the oldest. He's the equivalent of a Gryffindor." It was Harry's turn to snort then. The irony of that was not lost on him. Snape glared, though there was no ice in his eyes, but a lurking amusement. "No comments please. He's a Healer at St. Diliard's."

"Are all the wizarding hospitals named St. something or other?"

"The ones in Europe anyways. I wouldn't know about other places. Ask Draco later, I've no doubt his father would probably have a book somewhere in that monstrosity of a library with the answer." Harry wondered if the Malfoys would have any books he could read on male pregnancy, since he no longer had access to the ones at Hogwart's. He murmured quietly for Severus to continue. "Barrett is next. He's basically a Hufflepuff, by Beauxbaton's standards of course. Loyal and hard working, bit of a drifter though. Last letter I had from him he was at a dragon colony in Romania. I think he said something about meeting a Weasley there." He'd said more than that, but he wasn't about to repeat any of it to Harry.

"And your sister?"

"Marissa. She's Slytherin through and through. Sly, cunning, and mean as a two-headed viper when she wants to be. Devious too."

"Isn't that the same as sly and cunning?"

"Depends on who you ask."

"Oh."

Severus smirked. "She's a law witch. Completely cold and emotionless in the courtroom, but the exact opposite at home. She has two kids of her own."

A smile twitched Harry's lips. "So are you the uncle that the children love or the one they hide from?"

"Well, I don't treat them the way I treated certain foolish Gryffindors, that's for sure."

"Foolish? And here I thought I was arrogant for all that time."

"I've not said anything to discourage that train of thought though, now have I?"

Harry scowled, but Severus just smirked.

First off, to all my reviewers – Thank you guys so much. I know I seem to say that a lot, but you really have no idea how much it means to me to know that people actually like what I write. You're the reasons I keep posting. Now to respond to just a few replies before I head for bed. Many of the reviews are filled with so many compliments that I just don't know how to answer them, so please don't feel slighted when I don't respond to your review.

Althea – Please don't beat up the author just for having Harry cry. Crying is a very natural part of the whole process to dealing with rape. If one does not cry, then they're skipping a very vital step in that healing process and probably bottling things up inside.

Shinimegami7 – I hope this chapter is more up to par length wise. And my computer is still being satanic. I want so badly to borrow my daddy's gun and just put a hole in it.

Baculities – I couldn't really see Dumbledore doing it either, but in life it's the people we trust most, the ones we think 'there's no way that person would ever hurt me'… Those are the ones with the opportunity to cause us the worst amount of harm.

The Wandmaker – Sirius IS alive in my fic. He has been… occupied. It will be explained in the next chapter, promise.

Shinigami – It's okay. I forgive you. I don't live very close an actual 'town' to get to the library, and right now money is too tight to waste the gas just to drive the 20 or so miles to town.