Sup! New Chapter here coming right you! Jam packed with so much sugary fluffy sweetness that it could rot your teeth and may actually attract fire ants.
Also, if you consider yourself as a fan of Robin Williams you might spot a few of his stand up material in this chapter.
Let's do this!
It's Sunday.
Why is it Sunday? Why can't it be Saturday 2.0?
Judy had just talked to her mother via video chat. Bonnie had asked if her daughter had already packed up for the family reunion tomorrow. Which was Monday. The day that comes right after Sunday.
And today was Sunday.
It was painfully clear. There was no way she was going to avoid it; she was going to have to attend that blasted reunion.
Just her and her whole clan. A whole day filled with relatives asking 'Why aren't you married yet?' and dozens of random aunts and uncles giving her some random buck's phone number.
And if that wasn't painful enough, Her parents, the same buck and doe that raised her, fed her and loved her, had invited the one rabbit in Bunny Burrow that she herself swore to never EVER see, smell and talk to ever again.
One of her ex-boyfriends from Senior Highschool, Robby Peterson.
A self absorbed, borderline, ego maniac who was born into a rich family and feels like he was entitled to everything.
Judy's past relationship with him was an anomaly in itself. How it lasted for a month she doesn't have even foggiest idea. Though granted, when they first started dating back in highschool he was one of the more popular kids; if the most popular boy in school saw you worthy enough to be asked to a date you'd be an idiot to say no.
At first he seemed nice; their first date had gone by smoothly. He was polite, charming, funny and he paid for everything. That lasted for almost half a month until she saw him for what he truly is.
About a year later, that was when she met Michael Cornwall. A much more wholesome, polite young buck who showed such promise. But what she had with him lasted far more shorter than what she had with Robby. It had been short, due to the fact that she was leaving for the academy.
Michael was the one who ended it. He was just not keen on long distance relationships. He had been there at the train platform where he kissed her one last time. It felt bittersweet.
Another year later she received news from him through her parents. He met someone, got married and now he has a hundred and fifty children with four on the way.
It wouldn't have bothered her if her parents invited him instead.
So tomorrow she was going to face a horde of invasive questions from equally invasive relatives and one pompous son of a bitch.
Great! Just great. No it's not just great, it's fantastic! Simply Kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic!
Judy slammed her head onto her table after throwing her phone at the couch.
She groaned, moaned sighed and grumbled, but doing so wasn't going to make the reunion itself vanish from existence.
Oh how grueling it would be for her to see her many siblings and cousins with their husbands and wives and their children while she would be all alone sitting on a bench somewhere with no relationship to speak of.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And then something just clicked.
She picked her head up from the desk as an idea started coming to her. And of course! Hot damn! Why hadn't she thought about this sooner?
But she has to be subtle about this. She can't just go down there halfcocked.
I better start cooking...
VVV
Today was Sunday.
Basically a day filled to the brim with TV, comfort food, sleep, and more TV. Nicholas Wilde was doing just that; sitting on his couch with a bowl of fried crickets by his side along with Finnick who staring blankly into the TV.
A crowed roared from the TV speakers as a miniature horse wearing nothing than a pair of red tight shorts choke slammed another miniature horse against the floor of a wrestling ring. The other miniature horse, that one that got chokeslammed, dizzily stood up from the impact, only to have clotheslined by his opponent.
Suddenly Finnick sighed, "Man, I miss my van."
No doubt Nick heard what he said; Nick looked at fennec friend, who for whatever reason, hadn't left his eyes off the screen. The red fox then hummed in thought, like he was contemplating something that was so difficult.
He held up a finger, "Miniature horses... Miniature horses wrestling... Your van...", he paused, eyes staring up into the ceiling, "Yeah okay," he nodded.
"Yes, I see how you got there."
Finnick groaned, "Go choke on a cricket."
Nick laughed before popping another crunchy insect into his mouth to further agitate his short tempered friend.
"Why are we even watching this made up crap?" Finnick asked.
"Cuz, there's nothing else good on TV." Nick answered.
"And what is the deal about their shorts?", the fennec pointed at the screen, "I mean why the hell do they have to be so tight? Just look at that guy in the red shorts. You could actually tell what religion he his."
Nick paused in mid chew, he gave his friend a questioning look. "You've been looking at their shorts?"
The fennec's train of thought stopped abruptly. The then sighed, "Welp, it's finally gonna happen."
"What's gonna happen?"
"I'm gonna murder you."
Nick chuckled uneasily as he watched the fennec stand up from his seat.
A knock from the door was enough to distract the tiny fox. Buying enough time for Nick to escape and run towards the door to answer (and thank) whoever it was outside. His paw poised over the doorknob and swiftly pulled the door open.
The sweetest salty smell of pancakes was the first thing that he noticed. The sight of grey fur and violent eyes came second.
"Hey there!", Judy greeted.
There was something wrong here, Nick could tell. He could see Judy smiling as she held a plate of blueberry pancakes in her paws and by the looks of it they were fresh from the skillet. But behind the delectable treat in her paws and the sweet smile upon her lips, Nick still knew better; the pancakes were bribes. But what could she possibly want?
"What is this?", Nick warily asked. He saw the rabbit shrug indifferently.
"Well, you know I just felt bad about yesterday so I cooked up a fresh batch just for you."
"Okay..." the fox stepped aside to let the grey rabbit into his apartment. He's gotta hand it Judy though, she knew how to put up a farce.
The grey rabbit placed the pancakes on a coffee table that was in front of the TV. She met eyes with Finnick for a moment. The sand colored fox nodded once before muttering a quick 'Sup?' before returning his gaze back to the screen.
"You're apartment looks cleaner." she told Nick.
"Yeah it's great, what do you want?"
Judy paused, "What?"
Nick smiled, "It's kinda cute really," he crossed his arms above his chest, "That you took the time to cook pancakes and then use them as some sort of bribe."
"Bribe?" Judy laughed uneasily, "I'm not bribing you for anything. These pancakes aren't bribes, silly." she continued to laugh in a desperate attempt to throw him off.
She laughed and laughed and laughed, but all Nick did was stand there arms crossed and eyebrow raised like if he waited long enough she might just crack.
And crack she did.
She sharply cut her laughter short and coughed awkwardly, refusing to make eye contact.
Nick crept closer, "Okay, what is this really about?"
Judy sighed, deciding that coming clean was the less painful way out of this.
"Tomorrow is the annual Hopps family reunion." she confessed. Even saying it out loud made her sick to her stomach.
"Yeah, and?" urged Nick.
Judy dared to look up at her landlord, "I need somebody to go with me."
"Wait..." Nick paused, "You mean you want me to come?"
Judy nodded.
"With you?"
She nodded once more.
"So, will you?" she asked shyly.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why do you need me to come with you?" he clarified. "I mean I'm not complaining, I'm actually flattered that you tried to bribe me with food."
The rabbit groaned, "I need you to come with me because I can't face a whole day alone with my relatives."
"Don't we all?" Finnick commented from the sidelines. Naturally he was ignored.
"But I thought you love your family?" Nick argued.
"Well yeah, but they ask so much invasive questions. And I could only take so much of them until I pull my own fur out."
"That doesn't sound so bad." Nick said, "You're just gonna have to roll with the punches. Never let them see that they get to you."
"Keep in mind though," Finnick whispered to her, "That's his answer to everything."
"Would you just butt out?" Nick scolded. He then turned back to Judy, "Anyway, Judy I know you. You are a strong, independent female."
The fox reached over to grasp her paw into his, he gave it an affectionate squeeze, "Your relatives should do well to remember that. You don't need me to be there with you."
She looked into eyes, "You think so?"
"I know so, sweetheart." he then leaned over and gave her chaste peck onto her cheek.
She giggled as his cold wet nose tickled one of her whiskers.
"You know what? You're right. You are absolutely right." Said Judy.
A new rush of confidence coursed through her. She stood tall and bravely placed her paws to her hips.
"I just need to roll with the punches."
"Yes you will."
"Face all of their questions no matter how invasive they are."
"Atta girl!"
"And I'm going to tell that jackass Robby to shove it where the sun don't shine!"
"Yeah! Tell him to-" he cut himself off, "Wait who's Robby?"
Finnick knew where this was going, "Here we go." The fennec abandoned the the miniature horse wrestling match to see it unfold.
"Oh I was talking about Robby Peterson," she explained, "Apparently my parents thought that inviting one of my ex-boyfriends to the reunion was a good idea."
"No, it's not. It's not a good idea. It's a bad idea." Nick said, "It's a terrible, horrible idea."
"I know, right?" replied Judy before making her way towards the door, "Anyway, thanks for the pep talk Nick, you can keep the pancakes."
And just like that she was out of there.
Nick continued to stare at the door for a few more minutes. When he finally came to his senses he turned around to face Finnick.
"Should I go after her?" he asked the sand colored fox.
"That's up to you, man." he shrugged before reaching a paws towards the plate of pancakes.
"I just wanna make sure I'm not making another mistake here."
Finnick huffed at his friend, "Nick, going to your girlfriend's family reunion to protect her from her ex is not a mistake," he paused to take a bite of pancake into his mouth, "I'll tell you what an actual mistake is: God gave males a penis and brain but only enough blood to run one organ at a time."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Nick inquired.
"Think with your brain not with your dick, you fucktard!" he exclaimed before taking another bite out of the pancakes, muttering something about syrup.
Swayed (For a lack of a better word) by his friend's colorful language he ran to the door and swiftly trotted to the stairs leaving Finnick to enjoy the rest of the pancakes.
VVV
Judy had just traveresed the third flight of stairs and was about to enter her apartment when she heard Nick coming up behind her. Turning around to face the winded vulpine and staring as he tried to find his words. Soon he found enough air to talk.
"I've changed my mind," he declared, "I'm coming with you."
Judy raised an eyebrow, "What made you change your mind?"
"Oh well, you know..." he tried his best to summon that foxy, nonchalant attitude of his, only to fail miserably. Ever since he and Judy had patched things up between them yesterday he's been having trouble doing what he does most: being sly.
He rubbed the back of his neck, "... I have nothing to do tomorrow and I'd do anything just to keep myself from getting bored."
Luckily Judy didn't seem to notice her uneasiness, "Oh well, that's great." she strode over to hug his middle while she nuzzled her nose into his chest, "Thank you so much, Nick. I promise I'll pay you back."
Instinctively his paws found their way around the small of her back as he pressed her whole form against him.
"Oh nevermind that," he dipped his lower to kiss the top of her head, "You know I'd do anything for you."
She raised her head to smirk at him, "Is that so?"
"Yes," he answered, returning her smirk tenfold, "Quite right, Officer Hopps."
"Okay, do my laundry for a month." she ordered playfully.
"What's in it for me?"
Judy released herself from his arms and strolled into her apartment, and just like the other night she left the door wide open for him. He wasted no time and made a quick dash into the apartment, closing the door shut as he went in.
He saw her there by her sofa where it all happened. She beckoned him to come closer and like a rat hearing the Pipper's flute he followed her command. He was just hovering over her when he felt himself get pushed onto the sofa, Judy straddling him came just a second later.
"What's in it for you if you do my laundry for a month?" she whispered. Her hot breath tickled the hairs in his ear. Nick managed a nod.
Judy chuckled at the effect she was having on him, "Well, here's what you'll get," she began, "I'll cook anything you want in there," she pointed to her kitchen, "And I'll do anything you want in there." she pointed to her bedroom.
Nick quirked an eyebrow, "I'll think about it."
She leaned in and gave him a short kiss on his lips.
"I'll consider it."
She kissed him once more.
"I'm kinda leaning towards-"
And again.
"Okay fine, I'll do it!" and that's when he pushed her off of him and tackled her into into the sofa.
The grey rabbit squealed in delight as the red fox bombarded her face with little tiny kisses. He held her down against the sofa when his lips grazed her own. Judy stopped struggling altogether just so she could truly feel their connection.
He broke away for moment and whispered, "My God, I've missed you." he then proceeded to kiss her neck.
Judy's spine tingled as he made contact with her fur. Her back arching and her toes curling.
"Hmm... But it's only been two days, hon." she told him.
"A day too many if you ask me." he replied.
His paws were just about to reach for the first buttons of her red plaid shirt when suddenly a ring from her cellphone distracted him.
"Ignore it." Judy urged.
Nick did his best to just pretend that the phone wasn't there, but to no avail. He grudgingly retracted his paws away from her body.
"No it's, fine. Go ahead." he reassured her before sitting down onto the sofa to let her up.
The grey rabbit sighed sympathetically, planting a kiss on his cheek before fishing out her phone from her pocket.
"It's my parents." she announced. She took a deep breath before answering the video call.
"Hey mom!" she greeted, "What's the matter? We just talked about an hour ago."
Judy took a moment to glance at Nick, who was making some sort of gesture with his paws: 'I'll go give you some privacy.' he meant to say and proceeded towards the door.
Bonnie Hopps had a smile on her face, "Oh Judy, I just called to tell you that Robby Peterson paid us visit."
Both Judy and Nick's world stopped at that very moment. The fox was just about to turn the doorknob when he heard it.
"He-he's there?" Judy stammered, "Like right now?"
"Yes!" Replied Bonnie, completely oblivious of her daughter's dismay, "In fact I'm right in front of him right now."
Oh sweet cheese and crackers.
"Do you wanna talk to him?" the older rabbit offered.
"Uuuhhh..." unsure of what to do, Judy turned to glance at Nick, who for some reason had adopted a determined resolve. The fox nodded once and mouthed a quick 'trust me.'
Judy breathed heavily before giving out a: "Sure, why not?" to her mother. She saw Bonnie smile right before the camera shifted and shaked for a bit. A brown eyed, tan furred rabbit appeared seconds later, with self content smile stretching his lips.
"Hello, Judy." Robby Peterson greeted, his voice hadn't changed since senior high school; it sounded so deep and alluring, but Judy knew better than to fall for it again.
"I'll leave you two alone." Judy heard her mother say.
She supressed a sigh and made a false smile. "Hey, Robby. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
"Far too long." Robby agreed, "Though you still looked as beautiful as ever."
"Aww... Thank you." but what she meant to say was 'Get bent, you over sexed ego maniac!"
"You look great yourself." Translation: 'Go choke on a carrot you son of a bitch!"
"Thank you. You know I can't wait to see you." he confessed, "I've missed the times that we've had."
This time she couldn't stop her eyes from rolling at the screen, "You mean those times where you put me on a pedestal like some kind of trophy?"
"Yes." he readily answered, "I'm glad you remembered the things I did for you."
She glared at him through the camera, "You say it like it was a good thing."
"Well, it is." he smirked, "After all, we were quite the pair back in the day."
"Yeah, it lasted about a month." she drawled.
"But you have to admit it was the happiest month of your life."
She laughed, but it was devoid of any humor, "No, Robby. The happiest month of my life is the first month I've spent here in Zootopia. The first month I've spent as an upstanding officer of the ZPD. So no, Robby Peterson. I wasn't happy with you."
"Oh you actually became a police officer." he feigned surprise, "Oh how cute."
"Don't call me cute Peterson." she seethed. Then she smirked, "Or should I say Mr. Minute Man."
As soon as the infamous nickname left her mouth, Robby's demeanor changed.
"What did you just call me?"
Her smirk intensifies, "You heard me. The whole school knew about how your fling with Madison Thumper actually went."
"Now you listen to me." Robby pouted angrily pointed at the camera, "You will refrain from calling me that name ever again, you hear me Hopps?."
"Is that a threat?" she challenged.
"Oh it is you conniving little bitch." he cursed, "You will remember to respect me when you're here. I don't give a damn if you're some big shot cop from the city, all it takes is a metal pipe and bang goes your leg!" he smiled sadistically at the camera, "And you'll be out of the job and be even more useless than you are now."
Judy merely stared at the screen, "Maybe I should bring my handcuffs tomorrow."
Peterson laughed, "Oh what are you gonna do? Arrest me?"
"Yeah, pretty much." she cooly replied, "Threatening an officer is actually crime these days."
"Hah! You don't have any proof," he challenged, "And last I checked, You can't record video chats. It'll be my word against yours."
I don't give a damn if you're some big shot cop from the city, all it takes is a metal pipe and bang goes your leg!
Robby's face blanched.
"What was that?"
Nick moved into the sight of the camera, "Hey there!" within his paw was Judy's
"Who the hell are you!?" the brown eyed rabbit demanded
The fox smirked at the disgruntled rabbit, "Before I answer that, I just like to point out that it'll be your word against yours."
"What the hell are you talking about, fox?!"
That was the moment where Judy decided to cut in, "His name is Nicholas Wilde, and he is my boyfriend." she proudly declared.
"B-boyfriend!?"
Both Judy and Nick grinned at the screen, and it was Judy who quipped a smug: "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."
With a flick of a finger Robby disappeared from the screen, severing the video chat for good.
Nick sent her a wry look, "Boyfriend, eh?"
She merely shrugged, "Gonna complain?"
Nick responded by closing the gap between them, catching her in a warm, affectionate kiss.
Hmm... Guess not.
And cut there!
What up?!
Did anyone see one of Robin Williams's lines? And also the Chandler and Monica reference?