Alright. So who thought this was going to take a long time?? I sure did. But I found myself determined and I kept on writing putting the flashback in the back of my mind. so yay me!! I finally wrote it. This is a really intense chapter. It's not as intense as it was originally going to be. I left some parts out, because I want younger veiwers to read it too. But I hope that you still like it.

Chapter 9: Silence is Golden, Blood is Red

I waited impatiently with SME as Tommy was mixing their album together. Spiederman's leg was bouncing up and down and we were all holding hands in anticipation. I could tell Tommy was trying hard not to laugh at our behavior. I wanted Tommy to hurry up though. I had a specific time to get home and if I was late Christian would get upset. Finally the disk came out and Tommy handed it to Spied. "This is it dudes, our first CD," he whispered to us.

Suddenly we all screamed in happiness and got into a huddled and jumped. I was so proud of them. I invited Tommy to join us in our little group hug and instead he picked me up. I screamed as he threw me over his shoulder. "Spin her!" I heard Kyle yell.

"Oh god!" I shouted in fear. Tommy listened and started to spin me. I heard SME running out of the studio saying something about whipped cream. Tommy kept on spinning me. "Quincy, if you don't stop I'm going to vomit all over you."

He finally put me down on the couch and started to tickle me. I laughed hysterically and begged for mercy. Finally he stopped and we both laughed. My laughter died in my throat when I saw how close his face was to mine. I stared into those ice blue eyes and I couldn't help but drown in them.

Tommy tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, and smiled. He smiled back. The feeling that I had running through my veins was something I hadn't felt in a long time with Tommy. I knew I should've moved or said something, but I didn't want to ruin the moment that we were having. Of course, we couldn't have these moments. I was with Christian, and I loved him so much. So why did I not think of anyone but Tommy at that time.

I could tell he was contemplating on what to do. I didn't know what he wanted to do, but I knew that both of us did not want to move from where we were right now. I didn't even care what time it was anymore. I picked up my hand tentatively, and caressed his cheek. He put his hand behind my head and slowly pulled my lips towards his.

Everything was happening as if it was in slow motion. I could see him closing his eyes. I saw his lips puckering in anticipation. I could feel my arms going around his neck. As much as I wanted to stop it, I couldn't. I closed my eyes waiting to feel his perfect lips on mine. I wanted it so much, even though I shouldn't have. Finally, our lips met and I took in a sharp breath as the sensation overcame me. Tommy pulled me closer to him as his soft lips massaged mine.

I laid back on the couch and pulled him on top of me by his collar. This kiss was completely amazing and I didn't want it to stop. My conscience was out of my mind and shut off. All I wanted at that moment was Tommy. My hands knotted in his dark hair and his hands rested on my waist. His lips found their way to my neck. I giggled when I felt his breath tickle my sensitive skin. I moaned when he bit the skin behind my earlobe.

I was so preoccupied by the situation I didn't hear a door open. I brought Tommy up to my lips again. I felt Tommy's hands going up my shirt about to reach my breasts. "Jude?" I heard a quiet voice.

I quickly broke away from Tommy and turned my head to the direction I heard the voice come from. My mouth became agape when I saw Christian standing there in shock with tears in his eyes. "Chris…" I tried, but couldn't find the words. I couldn't talk myself out of this at all.

Tommy got off of me not knowing what to say. He was mortified and I could feel my tears coming in my eyes. "I was just, coming by," Christian said looking at the floor. His face became red as more tears came down. "You were late. I guess…now I see why."

"Christian I-I'm sorry," was all I could choke out as my tears came down along with his.

"It was my fault," Tommy blurted out. "I kissed her."

"Yea," Christian sniffled. "But she kissed back." I looked at him not knowing what to say. "Jude, can we go home, now." I simply just nodded my head. He walked out and I looked at Tommy.

"I'm sorry, Jude," Tommy whispered.

I sniffled. "Not as sorry as I am." I could see Tommy's eyes fill with hurt when I said that. But I had betrayed Christian, and the hurt in his eyes was more unbearable. I couldn't take it. I walked out and went into Christian's car.

When we reached home, he locked the door and tears were coming down his face. He punched me and I almost fell to the floor. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Christian had taught me not to cry about things like this. He punched me again and I fell on the couch. He straddled me and started to choke me. "How could you do this to me, Jude!?" He yelled as his tears fell on my chest.

I couldn't breathe and I tried to struggle free. Just as I was about to pass out, he let go of my neck and threw me on the floor. He kicked me in the stomach. "Is this what you wanted?" He asked me, not really caring what the answer was. "Do you enjoy being punished?"

Christian wasn't crying anymore. His eyes were full of anger and fury. "Christian, I'm sorry," I cried out.

He kicked me in the ribs. He grabbed my throat again and threw me against the fireplace as it was on. I screamed out in pain as the metal burnt my back. I pushed off of it with my hands and it burnt them too. I stifled a scream and saw Christian going towards the kitchen. I regretted ever kissing Tommy. I knew I shouldn't have done it. I had betrayed my own fiancé.

Christian came back with a knife in his hands. My eyes widen in fear. "You're a stupid whore, Jude. You're a slut!" he yelled at me.

He was right. I was a slut. I closed my eyes as Christian lifted up my shirt and craved X's on my back. I put my hand over my mouth trying not to scream. I bit my palm hard putting my mind in another place. But I pushed myself out of my daydream though, thinking I needed this. I had to feel the pain and get what I deserved.

Christian put my shirt down and went down to my legs. After he was done he turned me over so that I was on my back. I cried out in pain as my back touched the floor. I looked at Christian and kept mouthing 'I'm sorry' to him. I tried to whisper it but I found my voice completely gone. Christian lifted up my shirt again and slid the blade across my stomach. I bit my lip harder and harder.

When he was done I could taste something warm and salty in my mouth. I licked my bottom lip and found that I had made it bleed. He punched me again and then threw the knife on the couch. I was breathing hard as the pain from my back was surging through my whole body. I couldn't take a breath. It was as if my lungs were refusing oxygen. I screamed a blood chilling scream and grabbed on to Christian's shirt. "Jude?" he asked, with genuine concern. I just kept screaming. I couldn't breathe. Why couldn't I breathe? "Jude, baby, hold on!" Christian shouted. Then, I felt myself slip into darkness.

I woke up hearing a beeping sound and soft sobbing. I fluttered my eyes open and the light blinded me. I blinked a few times trying to adjust my eyes. I looked around and saw I was in a room painted light blue. I heard a gasp and turned my head to my left. I saw Christian leaning against the blue wall and looked at me in astonishment.

He smiled happily and hugged me. I was confused at what was happening. I didn't remember much. I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter. Then, a flood of scenes from that night rushed into my head and I flinched back from him. A doctor came in and looked up at Christian and me. "Ms. Harrison," he greeted happily with a smile. "It's great to see you awake. You've been out for two days." I raised my eyebrows. I was out for two days? "How do you feel?" I shrugged. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

I looked at Christian wondering if he had told the doctor that he had punished me for my stupid behavior. I just shook my head to be on the safe side. "You were in a car crash, dear," he said. My eyes widened. That was a lie. Christian had lied to him. "The car was in flames and burnt your back and hands pretty bad."

I looked down just now realizing that my hands were bandaged up. I hung my head and Christian kissed my forehead. "I am so sorry, honey," Christian apologized. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have bought you that car. It was too fast." I looked at Christian and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Now, Ms. Harrison I am going to ask you a couple of questions," The doctor stated. "What is your full name?" I was ready to answer but my mouth wouldn't open. I just stared at him. My eyes lowered to the floor and he looked at me in confusion. "Ms. Harrison, do you remember you're full name?" I nodded. "Then would you please answer me."

I still didn't say anything. It was as if I lost my voice entirely. "Answer the question, baby," Christian said softly. "Baby?" I looked at Christian and started to cry. He sat next to me on the bed and cradled me in his arms. "Dr. Jackson, what's wrong with her? Why can't she speak?"

"I'm sorry, son, I don't know. Please step out and I'll run some tests on her."

Christian nodded and stepped out. About two hours later I was able to be released. They gave me three bottles of pain killers. Dr. Jackson walked me out. I saw Christian, Sadie, SME, Kwest, and Tommy. Tommy ran up to me and I took two steps back. I looked at Christian pleading for him to come over. He got the hint and draped an arm around me. "It's okay," he whispered in my ear. "Tommy and I talked. We're cool." Christian turned his attention to Dr. Jackson. "What's the diagnostics Doctor?"

"Well, there's no medical reason why she is not talking," he replied. Tommy looked at Christian in confusion.

"She's not talking?" Tommy asked clearly befuddled. They both nodded at him.

"The psychologist said that from the tragic event that had happened, it could effect her mind; making her think she can't talk. Or, that it was so tragic, she just refuses to anymore. But I usually see it more in children who have lost parents, or woman who have been abused."

I stiffened when he used the word 'abuse.' Christian held me protectively to him. "Is there anything we can do to get her to talk?" he asked worried.

"I'm sorry, but she has to come out of this on her own. In the meantime, you can learn sign language, and communicate with her that way."

"Thank you Doctor."

He nodded and went back to his office. Everyone gathered around me. I was still bandaged up pretty bad, but since I had been healing for two days, they said I could go home. I felt trapped as everyone surrounded me. I wanted to get out and runaway. Finally, after Christian and I had convinced everyone I was okay I could breathe again.

Unfortunately, Christian said he had to go to work or he would get fired. I had to get a ride home with Tommy. I couldn't be with Tommy, right now. When Chris left, Tommy held out his hand. I just stared at it and then at him. He sighed and gestured me to follow him. I obliged and walked out of the hospital.

As I sat in his car I just stared out the window. I could tell he was glancing at me. He was scared to talk to me. I knew him all too well. "So, you won't talk?" Tommy asked.

I put my head down in shame. I felt embarrassed. I just couldn't talk though. My voice was gone. I shrugged and looked out the window again. "I know someone who knows a lot about sign language," he implied. I looked at him and smiled. "Her name is Mrs. Middleton. If I talk to her, she'll be willing to teach you." I smiled wider and nodded my head.

"Look, Jude, I'm sorry about before; at the studio," he started. I didn't look at him. I was scared too. "I have a confession to make. When we agreed to just stay friends, it broke my heart." If he only knew that I felt the same exact way. "I loved you then, and I still love you. Christian is one of my best friends, but when I looked into your eyes, I didn't think about anyone else but you. So, I just want to say, I'm sorry."

I nodded to him saying that I accepted his apology. For the next few months everyone, including Darius, learned sign language. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I could actually have a conversation with someone now, and they knew what I was saying.

I was sitting at the studio talking-well, signing-to Tommy. "So, are you bummed that your tour got cancelled?"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Do you even have to ask?" I signed to him.

He laughed. "No, I guess not. How are you healing?"

"Good, I guess. The doctors say my back will take a lot more time to heal than anything else." I replied. I found out how they all thought I was in a car crash too. Christian was driving my car full speed down one of the country roads. He was driving towards a wall and jumped out before it hit. So my car was gone. Damn, I loved that car so much!

I saw Sadie coming in. "Hi, Jude," she greeted. "How are you?"

I shrugged. "I'm doing a lot better," I answered. Sadie looked at me strange. I had forgotten that she still had some learning to do with sign language. I slapped Tommy's arms lightly and pointed to Sadie.

"She says she's doing better," he translated for me

"Oh good," Sadie smiled. "I promise I'll get it down sooner or later.

"It's okay," I smiled. She knew what that meant. She smiled and walked out.

I got home two hours before Christian was supposed to be home. I went to the bedroom and looked at the full-length mirror. All I saw was a stupid slut who would cheat on her the man she loves.

I looked horrible. I had X's all over my legs. My face was still bruised badly. I took off my shirt. I had a huge scare from the bottom off my right breast to the end of my left hip. I looked at my back. I saw all the marks and the huge burnt mark covering most of my back. Then on my lower back, I had noticed something that I hadn't noticed before. There were the initials 'C.S.' carved. Christian had marked me. I was his and only his. And he made sure of that.

Now mind you, the sign language part, did not happen to me or my friend. But I have heard it happened to many people who have been abused...so I decided to put that in there. I thought it was pretty vital to know...well it's 98 degrees in Florida and i'm going to the beach tomorrow!! so see ya and please review!