Chapter Eight
"Red or white tonight?" Erica asks, leaning over the ER's front desk.
Life has hardly been tragic since I came back to the hospital and Erica has been making sure of that. Sure, she comes off as hard-knock cynic, but that's the exterior. Inside, my Erica has been there for me, caring for me without a second thought. She's kept a smile is permanently glued to her face and always ready to partake in an evening of darts and alcohol to make me feel better.
"How about beer tonight?" I suggest.
Wine is just too painful of a reminder of what today's been; Arizona's first day back on the job and she's avoided me for its entirety. A whole week gone from the graces of Seattle and she didn't answer one of the voicemails, text messages, or emails I sent her after our last night together. Not sure what I should have expected from her after that night. She returned yesterday when our lawyers met with a judge and has this malpractice suit and the negligent father thrown out on their asses. I found out this morning from an intern no less.
"Whatever way you wanna celebrate - I'm game," Erica grins.
The fact that this happened at all to her was horrific and I didn't help the situation either. I broke her. If we were together, I could see that Mexico trip happening. Right about now, we'd probably be in some airport getting our passports stamped, me being unable to keep my hands off her. But we aren't. We're just nothing.
Erica studies me, seeing I'm lost in my thoughts. "Did you try her cell?"
"Tried, but it went to voicemail, again."
"Don't let it get to you. She's somewhere in the hospital, not avoiding you. Why don't you page her?"
"Erica…"
"She's not avoiding you."
This eagerness to see Arizona again has been growing inside me every minute since I found out she's back. And while a single glance would have sufficed this morning, it's definitely not the case now. I need to know if she's was okay. In desperation, I even took on a peds case that came into the ER about an hour ago. What Erica doesn't know is I did page Ari. She sent a resident. She's completely avoiding me.
"She hates me," I groan and lean my head down on the table.
"Hey, come on. You can't give up hope. She'll come around,"
"Erica, you didn't come around until almost six months after we broke up and that wasn't even a break up! You took my lesbian card away and left me in a parking lot."
She smiles and chuckles to herself. "Yeah, well, I did come around."
There were times when Erica and I were dating I would catch her stealing glances at me. She could become completely mesmerized. It was flattering to know that someone could be so infatuated with me, but I took it all for granted and hurt the best friend I've ever had.
"I fucked up."
"No, you're just being lazy. Actions speak louder than words, so go out there and find her."
Her pager goes off. She checks it quickly then looks back to me. "And tell me all about it after I finish this bypass."
"Erica…" I plead.
"Louder than words!" She shouts at me as she rushes down the hall towards the OR.
Slinking back into my chair, kick up my feet ready to finish out my extra shift in this ER. I'm exhausted, edgy, and now I'm supposed to make a grand gesture to win back my love. Oh yes, it's definitely one of those days at Seattle Grace.
*********
Before I knew an hour had flown by. Erica was deep into her coronary by-pass and I was counting down the minutes until then on this thankfully quiet evening. Having learned my lesson once about claiming boredom around idle ambulances, I've chosen in my kicked back state to nap while the nurses and intern flutter back and forth looking for something big to come in.
Before my forty winks have even begun, the sound of a large stack of papers falling to the floor causes me to look down one of the hallways.
It's her.
"Mother fuc—" Arizona mutters
"Says the peds surgeon," I narrate, interrupting her in the process. I'm on my feet collecting the millions of papers.
"Calliope?" She squeaks.
She doesn't look me in the face, but look downs at her feet. I guess it's because she's not sure what to say to me. I can't blame her. So, I continue gathering her papers one by one. They're all applications; specially, applications for the Pediatric surgery fellowship. My guess is Bailey didn't take the offer and they're going for an outside resident as their second choice. I make a mental note to speak with Bailey.
"Thanks Callie," Ari says, gaining some composure and taking the last of the papers from me. "I thought you were still on leave."
"Not if I want to pay rent this month," I reply.
"At least it's seems quiet enough in here today."
"You never say the ER is quiet."
"Why?"
"Bombardment? Apocalypse? The four horsemen? Help, help, the sky is falling? You name it; it'll happen if you ever call the ER quiet."
My humor is such a defense mechanism, but she laughs and I see that familiar sparkle in her eyes. We're talking. That's progress right? I'm not crying; she's not being cold and all anti-Arizona. There's humor and awkwardness; does that mean she's okay or just tired? Does it mean she's can't to sleep at night?
If so, that would make two of us. I can't face my bedroom since that night which is probably why I've been so willing to go out and drink the night away with Erica. It hurts to know Arizona won't be there to place her pager next to mine and hold me all night (or until one of us is paged back in.) That's not functioning and yet I can stand here in front of her and crack jokes about the end of world starting in our ER.
"Sorry. I have dumb jokes," I apologize, but what I really meant is, Sorry I'm still in love with you.
"I like your dumb jokes," she says, taking the papers from me.
She makes me blush.
"Look, if you aren't busy tonight, I'd really—"
"Thank you for picking up my papers," she says and turns to continue on her way.
My hand shoots out and grabs her.
"Don't do this, Arizona."
She turns around. "I've just survived what could have been the end of my career and you're asking me out?"
"I just… I thought that maybe you'd be okay since the malpractice is—"
"Oh no…" she gasps.
"It is over, isn't it?" I ask.
"Callie… Run!"
"What? No! I'm not running from you. Damnit Arizona! I love you! And I want to be with you for year and years until we're old and gray!"
"NO! RUN!" Arizona yells and points behind me.
I turn to see Jonathan, the father of Arizona's patient. Clutched in his hand is a gun pointed directly at Arizona.
A shot fires as I push her aside.
"NO!" Arizona screams.
A brilliant, deep red soaks through my scrubs. The pain isn't there yet, but I know when my central nervous system catches up with my body, it's going to immense. The scent of iron and metal fills my senses. My legs grow heavier than lead as I collapse to the ground. Arizona desperately tries to break my fall.
Two hands feverously press a white lab coat against my stomach, but it does little to stop the blood from seeping out of the wound.
"Stay with me, Callie!" Arizona cries. She looks up at the nurses, and patients paralyzed with fear. "Help us! Get a gurney. Page Hunt—"
The back of Jonathan's gun meets the side of her head as Arizona collapses like a rag doll right on top of me. The weight of her body is the last brick to fall as pain radiates throughout my body. He grins at his work.
"Please… don't hurt her," I whisper as he grabs her wrist and drags her to a railing on the wall, handcuffing her to it.
He lets out a laugh more sinister than I thought possible from any human being.
"Hurt her? Do you know what this bitch has put me through?"
This is wrong. He's wrong because this man has put Arizona and I through the hell and back in just the pass few moments. His gun clicks as he cocks it back and points the barrel directly at me. I can't tell if he's going to finish the job or if he's just taunting me. Either way, I won't be showing this bastard any fear. His foot rises back then connects with my head.
I'm out cold.