Return to the Source
RangeMan has a new problem. There's been a sudden increase in break–ins at the security client accounts. Almost every night there's is a new emergency. Now we are about to lose our core business.
"I don't understand how you can be so calm about all of this," I say to Ranger, "all hell is breaking loose. He's made up his mind; he's going for our throats."
"We'll deal with this new threat like we always do. He's not going to win."
"How do you know that?"
He gives me his I know what I'm doing look.
"So what's our next step?"
"Now we take a trip to the Bronx."
The Bronx isn't exactly the exotic vacation I have in mind but since he's thrown in shopping in Manhattan, I'm sold. I only wish I had company, it's no fun shopping alone. The nature of the trip doesn't exactly lend itself to taking a friend and hanging out in the stores all day. Maybe I'll try to wring his arm to go shopping with me, but that's a tall order – he's just not that type of guy.
We leave at the crack of dawn to beat rush hour traffic and to get there in time to have the full use of the day. It's slightly exiting and nerve–wracking at the same time, as it always is with Ranger. We've barely said anything since we left; he's deep in thought.
"So what do you think we'll find in the Bronx?" I ask.
"Hopefully some answers. Like what happened that led to him to end up in Trenton? Who's overseeing his stake while he's away and where is all the money? Follow the money; it always leads to the source."
"You mean the source of his power?"
"Yes. His lifestyle doesn't reflect what he's supposed to be worth. Something's missing. We need more intel from the ground, we can't rely on second hand information. We need to eyeball these things ourselves."
"How're you planning to get the intel?"
"Talk to some people, hang around a bit and watch the flow. Then they're a couple people that owe me some favours, see what I can get from them. Also want to talk to a couple of people who tangled with him."
"How're you going to do that without it getting back to him?"
"I'm counting on it. Stir things up a bit, divide his attention. Right now we're sitting ducks; we're making it too easy for him."
"You know some of his victims?"
"Not personally. Tracked down two in prison. Figure they should be in the mood to talk."
I feel a shudder down my spine. Not looking forward to that trip.
"Circle him from all sides," I mumble.
"He's left himself exposed by leaving the Bronx. We're going to find some of those weak spots."
We drive in silence for a while, thinking. It's probably just my imagination, but could I swear Ranger's actually enjoying this. He's animated, always focused on his next move. Like stalking prey. Calm, crouching, ready to pounce. Sometimes I wonder what it's like in his head. All his thoughts neatly organized, labelled and filed away for easy retrieval. Mine is a complete mess; always hurtling from one extreme to the next.
We get to our hotel, check in and get ready for our first day. We're in Midtown Manhattan in a penthouse suite with a panoramic view of Central Park and the Manhattan skyline. It's beyond breathtaking. Everything Ranger does, he does in fine style.
"Is this how you normally live when you work out of town?" I ask.
"No. But I thought you'd like it."
Good grief. It's so luxurious it's a vacation all by itself.
"Feel free to make use of the spa and other amenities."
"How am I going to make time for all of this? Between going on the road with you and shopping, I can't do it all." OK. Now that's a problem I love to have.
"Babe, you don't need to come with me everywhere. Take some time for yourself."
That's good news. Now's a great time to deal with that prison issue.
"So I can skip the prison field trip?" I ask hopefully.
"Agreed. Consider this a working vacation. You can join me when you like."
If he's trying to impress me, he's succeeded. This is like seriously over the top. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this place. I deserve it, right?
He's almost ready and I'm wondering if I should go or just stay in today. How do I leave all this awesomeness for work?
"I'm coming with you," I say.
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
"I know, but if I stay in I don't think I'll want to go out tomorrow – or at all. Plus I may go shopping tomorrow anyway." Truth is, I'm trying not to get too used to this kind of life.
"OK. I'll take you back after lunch."
The moment we head out I wish I was back at the hotel. What's with me? A part of me wants the rest and relaxation and the other part is pushing me out to work. No, wait. It's more than that. It's like somehow I don't want to be at the hotel. Why is that? There's been a bunch of things bugging me recently that I can't seem to figure out. Right now, I'm not feeling like I want to be dealing with Garcia and his craziness, I have my own internal mess to sort out. Well, I committed to this; I have to see it through.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"To talk to some contacts. You sure you want to do this? You don't have to come."
"No, it's OK. I should go."
"Why? I can handle this."
I don't answer. The truth is, I don't know what to say. I just know I'm not feeling right, but I'm not completely sure why.
Ranger pulls off the road and turns to me.
"Babe, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been acting strange since we got here. Right now you're literally curled up into the door, like you're about to jump out. You obviously don't want to do this. Why are you forcing it?"
He's right. I'm feeling quite wretched.
"I don't know."
"Are you worried about the Garcia situation? Because we can handle him."
"No, it's not that. I don't know – I guess it's this whole trip. It's a bit over the top, isn't it?"
He doesn't respond. He seems to be waiting for me to continue.
"Like the hotel. Feels a bit – uncomfortable. Too shiny, too perfect, I think. Like I'm walking through a work of art."
"And that's a bad thing?"
Something snaps into my consciousness. I think I got it. I'm enjoying it too much. What did Morelli call me – a sellout?
"It's just not my kind of thing."
"We could change hotels if you like –"
"No. I just – I don't know…"
"Babe, live a little. It's not about work all the time. You've been pushing yourself really hard lately, and it's time to take a break."
Then why do I feel so… uneasy? Well, it's just for a couple of days. Maybe he's right. I'm going to spend a lot of time outside of the hotel anyway, so maybe it evens things out.
"So, what do you want to do?" He asks.
"Let's keep going. We can deal with this later."
We drive for about half an hour and turn into what looks like an industrial complex with a number of garages. We stop in front of one that has some disassembled tractors outside.
We hop out and shake hands with a guy covered in tattoos named Rock.
"Yo, my man! W'sup? Been a long time!"
They greet each other with one of those urban handshakes and shoulder bump.
"Hanging in there! Rangers responds. "Looks like business is good!"
"Yeah. Can't complain." They exchange small talk.
"So, what brings you these parts?" Rock asks.
"Just doing a little recon. What do you know about Police Chief John Garcia?"
"Garcia? Yo, he's like a hero, man. 'Round here? Cleaned it up so we so we can work in peace. Was touch and go for a while – like everyday was a shakedown man, knowaddamean? Always some punk pushing nines in your face wantin' money. Garcia, he come down heavy on them wussies like whoa! Some don't like him 'cause he talks straight, knowaddamean? Yeah, shoots straight from the hip!" He laughs. "That's what we need 'round here!"
"You know he's in Jersey now," Ranger says.
"No, didn't know."
"Curious about why."
"Boss would know. Hey Jimmy, Boss inside?" He calls out to someone.
"Yeah," A voice responds.
"Office in the back," He points.
We go in to meet his boss. He's not as forth coming as Rock, even though he knows Ranger. He looks uncomfortable and keeps eyeing me suspiciously. Ranger tries but doesn't get much from him. He stops a few times to take some calls and continues working. I'm starting to feel like we're an intrusion. When we get up to leave he extends his hand to Ranger, barely even acknowledges me.
We hop back into the truck and I notice Ranger slide something in his pocket.
"What's that?" I ask.
"A little note he slipped me. Guess he wants to talk later."
"I don't think he liked me much."
"He doesn't know you, he was nervous."
"I don't think it's a good idea me coming with you."
"Agreed. I'm taking you back to the hotel now."
By the time we get to Manhattan, it's time for lunch.
"What do you want to do for lunch? Fast food, restaurant, room service?"
I remember our conversation from this morning. I'm starting to feel a little silly now that I think about it. Why am I feeling weird for 'living a little' like Ranger says? It's not the vacation, it's the lifestyle. It makes no sense but that's the way I feel.
"Let's eat at the hotel, it's easier", I decide.
As I expected, the restaurant is beautiful. Floor to ceiling windows like the penthouse, a spectacular hand blown glass chandelier in the shape of tree branches covers the entire span of the suspended ceiling. There is no way we're dressed to dine here. This is the kind of place you go buy a special dress for. We head to the more informal lounge area and order lunch.
"So Garcia does have fans out there," I say, "I'm surprised."
"Things are not always as they appear. To some he's a hero cleaning up the streets, to others something dangerous. Rock doesn't own the place; he wouldn't understand what's going on higher up. He's just happy to still have his job. Hopefully later I'll find out the real deal."
I think about that for a bit.
"So let's get to the elephant in the room here," he continues, "What was that this morning about this place being 'over the top?"
"You're going to think it's silly."
"Try me."
"All this doesn't feel like me. I kind of feel like a fake, like I don't belong here."
"Why?"
"I don't know, it makes no sense. It's like I like it, but it doesn't feel right."
"It's a vacation Babe, just a couple of days."
"Yeah, I know but – I miss my old place, sometimes I miss my old life. It's complicated."
"Where is this coming from? Is it something Morelli said?"
"Why would you think that?"
"You've been different since you spoke to him."
I don't respond. I don't know what to say. I feel worse than ever. We fall into an uncomfortable silence after that while we eat. We're both deep in thought. It's slowly dawning on me what my problem is. Why I don't want to get use to this.
Ranger takes off for his afternoon appointments and I'm left to my own devices. I decide to go for a walk. I try my best not to think about what's eating away at the back of my mind. I'm thinking about Trenton, my family, Dickie and strangely enough, Morelli.
I really love being in Manhattan. There's an energy that I can almost touch; it's like a living breathing thing that I can feel. Yet so lonely. Like how it was in Newark. I need to figure out what I really want; I'm not so sure anymore. The truth is that I'm tired. Tired of Garcia, the stress at RangeMan, this constant battle. I'm not sure I remember how to relax anymore. I don't feel like going shopping. I don't feel like doing anything. I feel awful and I think I'm going back to bed. I've walked so far I have to sit in a park and rest. By the time I get back, it's late afternoon. I'm also getting hungry.
As I walk into the suite I'm immediately hit by the strong scent of lavender. Everywhere is dark except a faint light coming form the bathroom. I head there to see what's going on. I gasp when I look in at the scene. The gigantic square tub is filled to the brim with water and Lavendar flowers floating on top. A mound of chocolates and candy coated snacks are pile high on the side with sparkling wine and two glasses. The candles reflecting off the marble floor and walls, and the view of the city through the floor to ceiling window makes me speechless. I don't even remember shedding my clothes; somehow I'm already in the tub. Water cascades into the tub from the wall and feels unusually soft against my skin. I'm pretty sure this is what heaven feels like. The beauty of this huge infinity tub is that it is encased in a larger one, so I can bring the level of the water as high as I want to without worrying about flooding the place. I get to work pigging out on chocolate.
I'm so in my zone I don't hear Ranger come in. I'm high on chocolate when he sits on the edge of the tub.
"You did all this?" I ask, almost giggling.
"I arranged it."
"Care to join me? I think we could hold ten more people in here."
OK, so that's an exaggeration; maybe about four more.
I watch him peel his clothes off and enjoy the strip tease, grinning. It's the chocolate. And maybe the wine.
"Seems a chocolate habit isn't the worst thing in the world," he comments, "makes you quite mellow."
"That's not the only thing that makes me mellow."
He gives me a long toe–curling kiss. I want more, but the problem is I think I'm about to drown. It's like trying to sit up in a swimming pool. I fight it for a bit and come up laughing. So we settle on watching the sunset. He sits with his back against the tub and I sit in his lap, my back against his chest. He wraps his arms around me to prevent me from floating away downstream. I revise my earlier thought – this is heaven. I want to ask how'd the rest of his day go, but I've declared this a Garcia–free–zone.
"I've got a question," I say.
"Shoot."
I can hear myself echo in the large room, so I lower my voice.
"How can you afford all of this when RangeMan might be in trouble? Isn't it risky to spend like this if you're not sure what will happen?"
"I don't have all of my personal funds tied up in RangeMan, Babe."
No wonder he's so relaxed. Now I've got to ask.
"Where does all that money come from? I've seen the accounts. RangeMan doesn't take in enough for some of the stuff you do."
"It isn't my only line of work. I also do some private security contracts in parts of the world you've never heard of. They pay extremely well."
"Is that where you disappear to when you go 'out of town?'"
"Sometimes."
"Isn't that extremely dangerous?"
"That's why it pays so well."
Perfect. So it's worse than I thought. Now I have more to worry about than people like Garcia. He also has international threats. This is a high risk lifestyle.
"Does that bother you?" He asks gently, stroking my hair.
"A lot of things bother me."
"What else?"
"Is your life always like this? From one battle to another?"
"No. Sometimes it can get pretty dull. There's just so much of a challenge that these skips can offer. I used to go on missions abroad just to keep sharp. I'm trained for much more than this. If I don't use the skills, I lose them."
"So you're still a soldier then?"
"A little more than that." He lays back and smiles. "Any more questions?"
"Just one. How did you get so connected? You seem to know people in high places."
"Side effect of my line of work. They like to know people who can take care of difficult and sometimes very delicate situations, home and abroad."
"So why don't you use that and end this thing with Garcia? Couldn't you pull some strings and get him to back off?"
"Maybe. Then what would happen to Mike and his family? Or the other people he's messed with? He can't be allowed to continue like this; we have to take him down completely. Plus, I have a personal history with the guy. I'm not backing down. This ends now."
"But it has nothing to do with the challenge of chasing him or keeping your skills sharp, right?"
I feel his chest shake with silent laughter.
We had a spectacular night. Sopping wet, but awesome. I've always found Ranger hot, but tonight he has an animal energy; a kind of wildness and primal intensity. He's a fantastic lover.
The next morning we sleep in. I haven't had a lot of that with Ranger, so I enjoy every minute of it. We order room service and just lie in and recuperate from an intense night of lovemaking. I wish it could be like this more often. These are the moments that keep me hooked. I wish he'd stay in all day.
"What time are you going out today?" I ask.
"I have a couple appointments, but I left my morning open."
He did that for me. I'm pleased. At least he's trying to make time for us.
"What are you planning to do today?" He asks.
"Thinking of going shopping, then do the spa thing."
We just lay there staring at the city and the horizon. Since we're on the top floor of the building with an unobstructed view, it feels like we're on top of the world. I'm feeling like we're getting closer now and I'm more comfortable with asking difficult questions. But now is not the time. This moment is just perfect.
When I wake up a couple hours later he's gone. I think I'll have lunch and then hit the stores.
So it's come down to this: as long as I'm with Ranger there's always going to be danger in my life. It was exiting at first, but now I'm not so sure. Can I live with this? That's a question I've been trying to answer for a while now. Will there ever be a time when things settle down? I can't believe Morelli was right all along. But what are my choices? A drab, boring, pointless life, or one living a hundred miles an hour with the constant threat of losing Ranger? Isn't there some middle ground? I won't lie to myself – the perks are awesome. But is that enough?
These are the thoughts I grapple with while I'm shopping. Do the risks outweigh the rewards? Maybe Ranger is right, I should indulge a little more. I decide to enjoy the rewards a lot more; maybe I can get the risk/reward thing to even out.
The spa is beyond luxurious. The floor has an ethereal blue-green glow that gives me the feeling like I'm suspended in water. There's a lot of wood panelling, I feel like I'm walking through a forest. I'm definitely getting a blend of citrus and wood scents. I get a hot stone deep tissue massage. I try to empty my mind while the masseur works on my tired aching muscles and I feel myself drifting.
I wake up early evening. I don't bother to rinse or anything, I slip into my robe and head back to the suite. I'm starving. On my way out I grab a few of the nuts and other stuff they have in the spa.
Ranger is back with great news. He's had a major breakthrough. We'll discuss it over dinner. I shower, get ready and slip into on a bombshell designer dress I found earlier on my shopping trip. I apply new make-up, pricey accessories and strappy heels and make my entrance. I feel like a million bucks.
"Babe, we're going to be la-" He begins.
He's staring at me. I love the dress. It hugs me in all the right places. He looks hot. I better get out of here before I jump him.
"You were saying?" I ask.
He looks a bit confused. "What?"
"About dinner."
"Oh. Yeah. Right. Let's go."
I think he spent half of dinner staring at me. He seems a little distracted, like he's thinking about something. I feel different. More confident. Sexy. Alluring, even. I feel great! Pity I wouldn't have anywhere in Trenton to wear this stuff to.
"You look great, by the way," he says.
"Thanks. So do you."
It's like he wants to say something else, but changes his mind. He tells me about his breakthrough.
"So the first part of Garcia's plan is the standard stuff. About the time that Rock mentioned, there was a sudden rash or burglaries, extortionists appeared and every kind of threat materialized out of thin air. It was concentrated around certain areas and brought some of the business to their knees. Out of the blue, a new security company appeared offering to deal with the issues. Around the same time Garcia started clamping down in those areas. Now they pay an exorbitant fee every month for security. The last one that stopped paying developed an unexplained electrical fire."
"A security company. Interesting. So that's how we're getting in his way."
"The two guys in prison had different stories with the same punch line: they joined forces with two of the local most powerful gangs, tried to fight back and ended up in prison."
"What's interesting is the money trail. It's an intricate mix of companies and dummy companies that somehow doesn't lead back to him. This new security company is completely above board. Pays all its taxes and has its books audited by a reputable company. There's just no trace of him anywhere. He's got help from over his head; he doesn't have the power to do all that he's able to pull off on his own. Still have more questions to answer but we're getting there."
The next day after breakfast, we head back home. I'm already missing the hotel and life in the big city. It felt like another life, uncomfortable at first, but when I got used to it, really great. It was a nice vacation, short and sweet. I still feel like a little bit of a high from it.
Ranger interrupts my thoughts.
"Do you want to move into RangeMan permanently?" He asks.
"You mean give up my place?"
"Yes."
Wow. It probably isn't, but it feels like a very big deal to me. I'm not sure.
"I'll have to think about it."
"Take your time."
Life is funny. If he'd asked me a couple weeks ago, I don't think I'd have hesitated. The more I know, the scarier it gets. He turns on music and we go off into our separate thoughts for the rest of the trip. Ranger seems a little different. I feel like something has changed between us, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Whatever it is, it's good.