Chapter Three
Dread
Pleading eyes that break my heart,
so homesick I can't feel.
But I know I must play my part,
and tears I must conceal.
"Just a Game" - Birdy
The 70th Harmony Games, Opening Interviews
Azula smirks at Varrick and gives the crowd a charming glance. Hama wants to clap, and she is not sure if it would be sarcastic or not. Jeong Jeong got himself a good tribute this year; Azula clearly volunteered for a reason.
President Shinohai does not like her; she concerns him. She is too aware, too eager to exploit everyone around her, too obvious of a victor. He does not anticipate defiance, but he does feel overwhelming apprehension.
She concerns him because he knows she is his daughter, and he wonders if she knows he is her father. Regardless of her knowledge, he knows she is too much like him and that will complicate everything.
He watches how she shines like a fiery beacon, stealing the attention of everyone with a pulse.
"I'm actually wearing it right now," Azula remarks of the fire she wore during the commencement of the Harmony Games.
The crowd's thousand eyes glisten.
Azula stands and spins, and spins, and spins. Her dress burns bright blue that captivates those watching. She slows down, feeling dizzy and Varrick flashes a grin before drawing attention to himself.
She is the Girl on Fire.
She knows that there is power in the audience's fixation.
She has every intention to burn the world to pieces when she goes into those Games.
Korra gazes out of the train window.
A huge concrete structure on the verge of District 9 catches her eye. It looms above the prairie like an artificial mountain. It would be a mountain that watches and waits in a way that makes Korra uncomfortable. And it is difficult to make her uncomfortable.
The Laogai Dam is a spectacle to behold. It looks nothing like the pictures in the textbooks that she doodled over while struggling to focus in class. She recalls only one fact: it provides all power to the Capitol.
The monument manages to erase the image burned into her retinas, at least for a few moments.
The death of an average, ordinary firebender who did something briefly extraordinary.
He died because of her.
Korra has been racking up a kill count of which she is not proud.
"You okay? I brought you tea," Asami says. Korra jumps when she hears the voice behind her, but she calms down and accepts the hot cup. "It was bad. District 7 was bad."
"It wasn't bad. It was something so bad that I don't even know the word for it. I bet there isn't a word for it. And all my friends and everyone and I can't believe that I killed them and him and—"
Asami panics and kisses Korra on the lips. She feels too aware of the cameras… and too guilty about the part she played in that massacre. They break apart and both breathe sighs of relief.
It helped, somehow.
Maybe because it reminds them that they are not alone.
"I've realized that we're getting married and I don't know much about you outside of your wedding theme preferences, which, uh, were kind of overruled."
"Yeah. It was gonna be blue and red, but it was worth a shot."
"I think suggesting purple was smart. Mixing blue and red does make purple." Asami laughs and shakes her head. "But, really, let's try. Let's try to know more about each other than what we've been forced to learn by the Games."
"Okay, okay, uh." Korra scratches her head. "I don't really know how to do this."
"I don't either."
They genuinely smile for the first time in a few days.
[X]
Azula tosses her mother's phoenix pin like a coin, catching it each time it succumbs to gravity. It manages to take her mind off of everything. Like the nightmare she just woke from. She was chasing Asami somewhere, but she never found it. Bright red birds with talons and razor sharp beaks rip her to shreds first. Never has Azula wanted to avoid thinking with such passion.
"I hate District 9," Azula remarks. She does not need to turn around because she can hear the high heels clicking and clacking behind her. "I haven't been here since my own Victory Tour and I never wanted to come back."
"That was so open and honest!" Ty Lee announces and Azula sighs.
"Are you implying that I am not always open and honest?" Azula mocks, faintly smirking.
Ty Lee swallows, unsure what to say. "Everybody is so quiet."
"That is unsurprising, given what just happened in 7. And what just happened in 2, for that matter. This is only the beginning. I hope you know that."
"I do." She sounds… somber. Azula turns to face her, her interest piqued. "What?" Ty Lee asks and Azula keeps staring, waiting for more. "I, um, I'm from, well, not really from, I was a baby, and—"
"You're from District 8. Kya told me," Azula interrupts.
"Yeah." Ty Lee blushes. "But I always was such a Capitol girl. My parents always said it."
"Funny. So did mine," says Azula.
Ty Lee frowns but quickly bounces back to a smile. "You are depressing lately."
"I have good reason to be."
"No. You don't. Being optimistic is amazing because…" Ty Lee knows Azula is not listening anymore. She has returned to tossing and catching that pin. "Why did you hate her?"
Azula has never answered that question. To be honest, very few people have ever been brave enough to ask her, and none of them were important enough to her to receive answers. These past six months have been made tolerable only by Ty Lee, as nauseating as she can be."
"She knew who my father was. I was apparently so much like him that." Azula hesitates. She does not know if she has the words to describe what it felt like as a little girl. "My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt."
"I don't think she was right."
"Then you don't know me as well as you think you do."
"Do you think she would have thought that way if she didn't know who your father was?"
"I never thought about that," Azula lies. She knows that her mother would have accepted her if it were not for Ozai. They likely would not have gotten along, but they would have loved each other. Azula does not wish for that anymore; she has her father now and he is all she will ever need.
"Oh." Ty Lee does not believe her, but she does not voice her doubt.
Ty Lee quickly changes the subject.
[X]
"There are only two victors here," Azula says as the train enters the heart of District 9. "Zuko Agni and the girl who won the year before me, Kanona Emodi."
"Why exactly does that matter?" Korra asks, squinting. "There've been progressively less and less as we move along. 8 only has four."
The train darkens as they enter a long tunnel.
Azula shrugs. "It's a fun fact, just like how our district won both Quarter Quells."
"We did?" Asami inquires, her eyes flashing.
Korra does not look very surprised. Azula imagines that Hama must have told her about it; the two are very close.
"Yes. We did. Let's hope we win a third," Azula purrs before returning her gaze to the window.
Asami swallows a few sharp remarks that come to mind. She still feels bitter about her sister's secret, but she wants to remain polite. Manners are important.
"Is Mai's family here?" Asami asks and Azula nearly slaps her across the face.
"You ask far too many questions. You should learn to keep them to yourself if you want to keep your tongue."
"You don't have to be so rude about it," Asami huffily replies, standing up and pretending to be very interested in a mirror.
Korra tries to remain inconspicuous. She stares out of the window passionately, and she suddenly sees something that makes her feel like she just got struck by lightning.
It's a phoenix in the styling of Asami's pin. The words are disturbing.
'THE AVATAR IS REBORN' is spray painted in bright blue letters.
She cannot shake it off, because another one is painted a few feet away from it: THE CYCLE IS BROKEN.
"Did you all see that?" Korra whispers, her sapphire eyes wide.
"See what?" Hama asks, turning to the window. It is too late to see it.
Korra feels queasy.
[X]
Despite the graffiti and Azula and Asami's resentment, District 9 goes smoothly. Zuko dances with Asami, and it feels fun. Hama and Azula converse softly in a very suspicious fashion, but Asami focuses on the party.
The remaining districts are equally easy.
They learned their lesson about emotions and opinions.
[X]
Azula does not feel as relieved to be home as she thought she would.
They arrive in the early afternoon on a sunny day. It gives them ample time to prepare for the grandiose and glamorous party tonight and the wedding tomorrow. Perhaps after those exhausting events Azula will be able to calm down.
The housekeeper greets them and guides them through the cold mansion to the guest wing. Bedrooms line the hallway, and the doors that are open offer glimpses of beautiful furniture and artwork.
"Separate rooms for the brides-to-be," says the housekeeper and Korra and Asami exchange a glance. They were not expecting that, but they do not mind it either. "You and your mentors are able to choose any room you like, however, I imagine you will go to your own bedroom, Miss Shinohai. Your prep teams are welcome to stay here, of course. As well as your escort."
Azula does not know what is customary. The prep team and Ty Lee seem to find it incredibly rude to decline Ozai's offer and go to their assigned lodgings.
"You can stay with me," Azula says. Ty Lee was expecting that.
"I know it," Ty Lee chimes, briefly taking Azula by the hand. The victor, as always, slips her fingers away.
As Azula and Ty Lee leave the guest wing and enter the hidden heart of the Presidential Palace, Korra tries to get settled in her room.
An outfit is already laid out for her. Pajamas as well – or at least she assumes the soft, plain dress to be. She gazes at it and gently touches the beautiful blue fabric. It probably will have additions, sparkles, things Wu adds on. But the dress alone is gorgeous.
Hey, Korra is not a fan of make-up or any of that, but it doesn't mean she can deny how pretty those clothes are. She does like to have perfect, non-destroyed nails once in a while.
When she turns, she sees more clothes, and a hairbrush, and a variety of different concoctions that she definitely would not have packed. She sees a piece of stationary resting on that far-more-ordinary blue get-up.
You are invited to lunch in the Presidential Palace fourth dining room at precisely three o'clock today. Do not be late.
Korra looks around for a clock. She has an hour and a half, so she shuts her door and lies down on the soft bed.
This is too much.
[X]
Ten minutes early, Asami Sato finishes preparing herself for lunch and follows a serving girl through the complicated hallways, and at last to one of the several dining rooms. She knows there is usually a breakfast room in the Capitol, but she has never heard of having nine dining rooms in one place.
She sees that there are four more guests than just the District 2 team and President Shinohai. Bolin and Opal are cute, and Katara upholds warm conversation with them. Varrick Shio is currently telling a very animated story to a girl Asami recognizes as his secretary. The woman is drawn in deeply to the point of being hilarious. They look like they might kiss.
Asami cocks an eyebrow and examines the place cards until she finds her own seat. It is between Korra and Azula, neither of which are here yet.
As Asami awkwardly sits in silence, Azula arrives alone. She pulls out her chair very slowly and sits beside her half-sister.
"What is this going to be like?" Asami asks, trying to look Azula in the eyes. She refuses to meet Asami's gaze. "I'm a little…"
"It's going to be very calm and peaceful, and you will not say anything you will regret," Azula coldly whispers.
Asami has no idea why they have to fight like this, but she does not want to surrender either.
[X]
Azula feels uneasy after lunch. She has a few moments before she is being dressed and dolled up and she spends them worrying. Even while she goes through the familiar motions, she cannot stop thinking about how nothing is ever going to be the same again.
This is irreversible.
The Avatar is alive and well, and no one will be safe anymore. Even if she dies, the next will resurface, and on and on. The cycle is not broken; the cycle has begun again.
Azula stares through the mirror, not into it, as she wonders how she can put a stop to this destruction.
When her stylists are gone, she remains. She does not move from the vanity seat until the door opens. She sees Mai's reflection behind her.
"That was a terrible lunch," she says, shutting the door behind her. Azula does not even bother pointing out the severe invasion of privacy. "You were a little less articulate than usual. Worried about something?"
"Who isn't?" Azula replies.
Mai does not like how she sounds. The confident and cruel girl she has known for five years is slowly disappearing and this hollow person taking her place.
"I don't ever worry. No point in it," Mai dryly lies. "Can you not hear the party outside?"
Azula did not.
"Should I be there?" Azula asks.
"Probably. It's your party."
Azula stands up and straightens her back.
She can do this.
She can do anything.
Including defeating the Avatar.
[X]
Behind grand doors, Ty Lee pokes at and adjusts Korra's dress as they wait for their party entrance. Hama, Azula and Asami are fine with the uncomfortable silence, but it kills the escort.
"You look amazing. I look amazing. You both look amazing too. Everybody looks amazing," she says, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Just remember that anything you do is dramastic so be on your best behavior ever."
Ty Lee abandons Korra instantly to go examine her own outfit.
Korra turns to Asami and whispers out of the corner of her mouth, "What does dramastic mean?"
"I don't think it's a word," Asami softly replies.
The United Republic anthem plays and the party silences. It is uncannily fast, but the five women of District 2 have more on their minds than noise levels.
They enter to applause, flashing lights, an introduction from Varrick Shio. Korra grabs Asami's hand and Asami feels her stomach twist. She hates what she is doing, but she knows the consequences if she does not do it.
Asami kisses Korra on the lips and the only fireworks are the fake ones over the ballroom.
It is confusing. So confusing.
When they adjust to the many lights, sounds and smells, it becomes apparent that this party is unparalleled. The ballroom is part garden, and the four elements highlighted throughout the room. Firebenders performing, fireplaces crackling on the edges of the room. Ice sculptures and ponds with colorful koi fish inside. Sparkles that soar on the air and multicolored mist on the huge dance floor. Seats made of stone but adorned with cushions, columns glistening and statues of beautiful women and exotic beasts.
The sea of people is more incredible than the party itself. They all must be important, and they all look the part. The women all are beautiful and the men are all dignified and everyone stands straight save for when they dance and fluidly spin beneath the lights.
"I'm gonna check out the food." Korra extends a hand to Asami.
She takes it and allows the Avatar to guide her through the packed ballroom.
[X]
As Hama drinks with her old friends and Korra and Asami awkwardly greet people while tasting this and that, on the dance floor Azula spins in a small contained circle with Ty Lee. It is not awful. Sweaty, hot, surrounded by obnoxious people and the scent of a thousand strong perfumes and colognes, but not awful.
"I love this," Ty Lee whispers in Azula's ear.
"Of course," Azula replies.
Ty Lee becomes much closer to her. "I'm horrified."
"Why? Am I that bad of a dancer?" Azula purrs.
"That's not funny. Azula, lunch scared me and this is scaring me and I'm scared," Ty Lee whispers, now pressed against the victor to avoid being overheard.
"I have it under control. We will make it through this and live happily ever after, or whatever it is you want," Azula says, and she is not sure if she is lying or not. It is too complicated.
"Can I trust you?" Ty Lee breathes.
They rotate thrice before Azula can answer properly.
"Yes," she whispers.
[X]
Azula finds herself without her pink-clad human shield and wonders what to do with herself. She has never felt so lost before in her life, and she wonders how she reached this point.
Of all people, Hama approaches her.
"Let's go talk. Alone," Hama says, beckoning for Azula to follow her outside.
They walk to where the noise is loud but no one can see them. It is cold and the full moon makes Azula uneasy. She does not particularly like this woman, and she doubts she ever will. Most of it is a certain brand of cowardice after her Games, but Azula will never admit that.
"I know you're Head Gamemaker this year," Hama says and Azula nods. "I need you to help me. I have a number of friends. They are all victors, and they are all rebels. You seem like the Capitol's darling through and through, but I know that you are the right person for this. You're the only person for this, so I hope you don't disappoint."
"I will try not to," Azula coldly replies.
"Good. We're working for a way to train Korra, to use her to rally the districts. You are as deep on the inside as you can get. If you keep us informed, you give us a chance. If you aid us using your power over the Harmony Games, you give us a chance. Do you know what the Quell will be this year?"
"That is up to fate and luck."
"Don't lie, girl."
"I don't know. My father has yet to tell me. That is the truth," Azula says honestly.
"The past two Quells came close to starting full-fledged rebellions. I think this one can do it, because we have the Avatar, we have people riled up already and we have a way to fight the Capitol. The Avatar is born to end oppression and restore real balance. If you can make this Quell twice as powerful as the last two, we can do it."
Azula thinks she might vomit all over the fire-lilies. This could not be worse.
"You're asking me to use the games to spark rebellion?" she demands.
"Yes," Hama calmly replies. "The Quarter Quell is the best opportunity. I know. I mentored for both of them and I watched how they threatened the Capitol."
"So the heart of the rebellion is the people gifted the most by the Capitol?" Azula scoffs and pretends to be who she was for five long years. But Hama sees through it, because Azula is not that person anymore and no one who knows her is falling for it.
"You don't believe that. You think you believe that, but you don't, or else I wouldn't have come to you."
"Desperation made you come to me. The fact that I am Head Gamemaker made you come to me. Don't try."
"You aren't what you think you are. The victors are not royals; they are slaves."
Azula does know that, but she wants to feign ignorance.
[X]
Korra is on her way to the bathroom when she hears familiar voices snarling and snapping.
"I don't care what you did for me, because I didn't tell you to do it," Mai slurs very loudly.
Korra pins herself to a wall and tries not to make a sound. She should probably announce herself or turn around to give them privacy, but… everybody likes eavesdropping. Or so Korra hopes. Maybe she can intervene if things go wrong. Yeah, she's just being a good Avatar.
"I'm not saying that you told me to do it. When people do nice things for you, you're still grateful even if you don't ask."
"There is such a difference between thanking you – which I did – and owing you anything. I don't even have to acknowledge your existence if I don't want to, because I didn't ask for your help. I didn't tell you to feel all guilty and blame yourself. I don't need to be rescued by anybody either because I can take care of myself."
Korra has to admit she is pretty articulate for a drunk.
"I never said you owed me anything."
"You just did five seconds ago. You told me I at least owed you a hello, that is exactly what you said. I'm nah even paraphrashing."
Maybe not so articulate.
"I did, and that was hasty of me. I—"
"No, you never stop saying stuff like that. I never stop enabling you either or whatever. I should probably just be awful to you so that you'll leave me alone. Instead I give you target practice and explain myself to you like right now."
"You're unnecessarily angry about this."
"No. You're unnecessarily in love with me when I have never shown an ounce of interest in you."
"I can't control who I—"
"You can control what you do about it. I hope you get yourself killed by crushing on me."
"You don't mean—"
"I mean that. I do. I'm done playing nice—"
"You call any of this playing nice?"
"Yes. I do. It was your job to help save my life! That was what you were required to do. You weren't doing me a damned favor. And you succeeded, so stop trying to make up for something that you made up for ten years ago."
"You're in a worse mess than you were in the games."
"I disagree. I don't need you to rescue me. I am so tired of you thinking you need to save me. I'm not your damsel in distress. There aren't many things I like, but I like being not dead. I like having a daughter and not having to worry about anything but jerks with hero complexes."
"That's horrible," Zuko snaps.
"Why do you want me to be miserable so you can justify your need to be my white knight? It's not horrible for me to be okay with my life. I don't care about what you think of me because we are both living proof that nobody decent ever wins the Games."
Mai starts walking – staggering – away and Korra zips out of the hallway and into the ladies' room faster than she thought she could move.
[X]
Ty Lee dances with Asami, and it is the most fun either girl has had in a while. Asami just finished having odd conversations with endless dignitaries and celebrities, and Ty Lee helped her escape for a little while. They are messy, not romantic of course, and they are laughing.
It ends when Ty Lee stops moving and rests a hand on Asami's arm. Asami does not have to look up, because she smells the pungent mixture of blood and roses.
"May I?" asks President Ozai Shinohai.
Asami realizes he is talking to her and forgets to breathe.
Ty Lee hastily nods.
And so Asami lets him take her hand and guide her from the magenta lights to the scarlet ones. That change of scenery makes it all the more sinister. She stumbles over her feet and has to remember how to dance in the first place. He does not say a word until they are swaying and spinning.
Asami can only hope it is not as bad as it seems.