Disclaimer: If I wonder Naruto, I wouldn't have to deal with 's crap.
Author's Note: S.O.R.R.Y.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope most of you noticed that Fanfiction has been having a screwing session with the Login page over the past few days and it kept me from updating on Sunday AND Monday! And for that, I am seriously, seriously, seriously sorry that I couldn't keep my promise. Sunday, I waited until 2 in the morning to try and update because it told me:
"Login/submission area is currently inaccessible due to a technical glitch. We apologize for the brief inconvenience. Please come back in a few minutes."
So I waited, but I had to go to sleep because I had school the next day. Monday was a repeat. And today, it is 1:39am while I write this. I have school tomorrow, and I still need to study for a major test tonight, but I wanted to update as soon as I had the chance! So I love you guys more than my Bio test.
***On more important matters: the story. Sasuke's going to do something. And before you stop reading and deem me the "average author" and that I should never resort to cliches, KEEP reading, understand? Because if there's one thing you've learned, it's that I defy the laws of cliche.
***The moment between Sasuke and Naruto was bound to happen sooner or later. But this does NOT mean they're about to go skipping down memory lane hand-in-hand and start telling each other their feelings. Normal authors may think life works that way, but i know it doesn't.
Chapter 10
…:::Real Emotion:::…
Sweetbox
WARNING: (Please read author's note first) Language. Mild sexual innuendo. Adult concepts including mention of alcohol usage.
This chapter is VERY IMPORTANT to understand. Please read the bottom note when done.
Do you think this chapter is bad enough to get the rating raised to M?
The feeling of the bed he was on was familiar.
The feeling of the tightening in his chest was familiar.
The ropes limiting his movement?
Yeah, they were familiar, too.
Sasuke opened his eyes to see the yellow ceiling of Naruto's room. The lights were off, painting it a dark goldenrod, and the sky from the drawn-back curtains reflected the time of day: somewhere well into the night. He wasn't alone in the room.
Itachi was on the bed where Sasuke's legs didn't reach, his closed eyes and slow breathing signs that he was deeply asleep. His body was curved to fit the mattress.
Sasuke tried to wiggle his arms from the rope, vaguely wondering why he was attached to the bed so tightly, but it was too strong for his malnourished body. He grimaced.
It was a while before Sasuke heard the doorknob of Naruto's room slowly turn. The door didn't creak as it was swung to reveal Naruto, quietly tiptoeing into the room. Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to regain his sleeping composure as the blond came close.
Peeking as best as he could through closed eyelids, Sasuke saw Naruto take the bundle from his hand (which turned out to be a large orange comforter) and drape it over Itachi's curled figure. He then sat in his rotating chair next to the bed.
"Hey, Sasuke."
Surprised, Sasuke opened his eyes.
"How did you know?"
Naruto sighed and sat back in his chair. "Your breathing pattern was different. I know what it's like to try and pretend to be asleep."
Sasuke reminded himself that the ropes were still around his body when he couldn't sit upright. He was forced to stare at Naruto from where he lay.
"Granny told me to come and wake you and Itachi up before she and Kakashi come in," continued Naruto, staring at Itachi. A frown came to his face. "But I don't want to wake him up. He looks like he hasn't had sleep for a while."
Sasuke stared at his brother and frowned as well. "What happened after . . .?"
His throat tightened. He didn't continue in fear that tears would begin to fall once more and so he simply stared at Naruto, his eyes asking him instead. Naruto got the hint.
"Not a lot, really. Kakashi and Kisame just brought you and Itachi here right away."
Sasuke nodded absentmindedly, his fists clenching beneath the ropes. "What about . . .?"
And once again, he couldn't continue. He turned his head away from Naruto for a few seconds as he felt his eyes sting, the memories flooding back. Still turned away, he managed to croak, "Mom?"
Naruto's eyes fell. "I'm sorry to tell you, Sasuke, but . . ."
Sasuke braced himself, his knuckles turning white.
"Your mother . . . she . . . she's in England!"
Naruto exclaimed the last part, his head jerking up to reveal the bright smile on his face. He looked at Sasuke expectantly, waiting for it to click in the Uchiha's mind. When it did, his eyes widened and he tried to jerk forward.
"What?!"
"Your mother!" Naruto exclaimed again. "We sent her to England!"
"No way! How?! Itachi couldn't have used our money! It isn't enough!"
"Itachi didn't pay for it." Naruto pointed proudly to his chest, grinning. "I did."
A sudden mixture of emotions swept over Sasuke: relief, joy, depression, more relief, more joy . . . but the one that won over them all was anger. His face contorted into an expression of rage.
"So it was pity money?"
He heard someone behind the door sigh and mumble, "I knew he'd take it that way."
Naruto's smile faltered and his hand fell.
"So you felt sorry, is that it? You felt sorry for a mental case like me so you decided to pay?"
It was Naruto's turn to snarl. "What the hell do you think you're saying?" he said. "You should be thankful! Did you want your mother to die?"
"Do you realize that I'll never be able to pay you back?!"
"It was a gift, Uchiha!" Naruto stood over Sasuke now, staring down at him fiercely. "I saw your brother go into a stress-caused fit and it took Kakashi, Kisame, and Granny to calm him down! I was crying so hard because I loved your mother, too, and because I saw what you were going through, and even if I didn't know you, I would've paid for her! Yes, I feel sorry for you, but that doesn't meanwhat I did was a bad thing!"
"It's pity!"
"It's friendship!"
Sasuke silenced at the word. Naruto's fingernails were digging into his shoulders painfully.
"Friendship?" he repeated, as if the word was foreign on his tongue. He repeated it again with more venom. "Friendship?"
"Yes, Uchiha, we're friends. Friends! Do you understand the meaning of the word? And no matter how much you deny it, we are!"
Sasuke stared at him in complete and utter silence. Naruto's face was so close to his, he could see the brownish, genuine whisker-like marks on his cheeks; he could smell his mint breath.
"You're just too stubborn to realize what's going on around you!" the blond continued with vigor. "We jumped at each other's throats from day one 'till it got so normal, it was weird if we didn't argue. And because it got normal, we connected. Bonded, Sasuke. Friendship." Taking advantage of Sasuke's sustained silence, he continued. "You told me you didn't have any friends before you came here because they were all afraid of you. But I'm real. And I'm going to tell you what a friend does, and you'd better listen good."
Sasuke didn't object.
"When a friend gives their friend something, it is not out of pity. It's because he cares about his friend. It's because he wants to help, because a friend is like a brother or a sister. They're there when you need them – even if you don't want them to be! Do you understand, Uchiha?"
Sasuke stared for a while, arguing between whether or not to chide Naruto for speaking down to him. But he decided against it. He narrowed his eyes and nodded his head reluctantly.
"Good."
And Naruto was hugging him.
Had Sasuke's arms been free, they would have frozen. He had never been hugged affectionately by anyone but his mother, Itachi, and Kakashi before. To be hugged by Naruto felt strange. Foreign. Cheesy, cliché, and damned wrong, even.
"And friends," Naruto finished, "know when their friend desperately needs a hug."
Sasuke stayed silent, not really wanting a hug, and desperately wishing for the awkward moment to pass, but not minding the warmth it brought.
He swore he saw Itachi smile.
o.o.O.O.o.o
Sasuke woke alone in his own room, the sky brightly casting light into the area. His prosthetic leg was in its charger. There was something strange about the charger, however.
It wasn't on.
Sasuke checked that it was plugged in, and when he made sure – twice –, he properly fixed his leg into place and wandered outside to try on the rest of the lights.
When the kitchen lights didn't turn on, when the digital alarm clock didn't ring, and when the practically-empty refrigerator was dark and damp, he concluded what he knew was inevitable:
The electric company cut their supply.
Sighing, he sat down in the living room to play a solo game of chess. Itachi was at work.
But not for long.
It was four o'clock in the afternoon when the door suddenly banged open. Having sat in silence, Sasuke jumped at the unexpected noise from his position on the couch.
"Itachi?"
But his brother was already running to his room. Kakashi and Kisame appeared at the door suddenly, their breaths quickened and their hair ruffled. They ran in after Itachi.
What the . . .?
"Damn it!"
Something loudly crashed against a wall. Sasuke's eyes opened wide in alarm.
"Itachi, please!"
"Just calm down and we can work this out!"
Without a second thought, he jolted from the couch and ran to his brother's room. He stood at the doorway, his eyes wide.
Itachi, Kisame, and Kakashi had their backs turned to him, except Kisame and Kakashi stood over his brother's fallen form, which was on his hands and knees. Paintings were scattered around the room: broken canvases of flowers, of smiling faces, of sun shining down on fields, with blood staining their wooden frames. Itachi lay amidst it all, breathing harshly.
"Not anymore, Kakashi!" Itachi said harshly, his voice sounding strangled. "It's too much pressure! It's too much to handle!"
He knelt forward even more so that his elbows touched the carpet as his fingers wound through his silky tresses and he let out a frustrated growl.
"Itachi, come on. Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll talk this out, okay? You've still got another day to think about it," pleaded Kisame, trying to reach over to his friend.
"There's nothing to think about!" retorted Itachi. "We're going to lose everything because nothing I do is working! They've already cut the electricity off on us, and it shouldn't be too long before the water company does the same!"
"Just get up and out of this room. You're bleeding."
"I don't care. I need to think of a way to get the money for the mortgage. I'll take up another job in the five hours it takes to sleep. Another job, and maybe I'll walk to work, and –"
"Can you hear yourself?" said Kakashi.
"The bills, and the hospital, and the money, and food, and electricity, and the eviction notice, and –"
Itachi suddenly made a choking noise and went silent. Sasuke, from his view, saw his body collapse to the floor with a soft thud.
"Itachi!"
Kisame and Kakashi turned around when they realized they weren't the only ones that had exclaimed it. A panicked Sasuke rushed past them to his fallen brother.
Itachi's pale skin was turning bluish. His fingers were twitching uncontrollably as his breaths came out short and quick. Wide obsidian eyes looked into Sasuke's.
"What's going on?!" Sasuke exclaimed, falling to his brother's side in alarm. "What's happening?"
"Itachi, calm down," said the silver-haired man. He, himself, was trying to remain calm. Kisame's shouting wasn't helping. "Breathe. Can you breathe?"
Itachi managed to shake his head, closing his eyes as he tried to gulp down air, but it didn't work. His twitching fingers were gradually growing bluer.
"Kakashi!"
He couldn't lose anymore. No way. He desperately turned to Kakashi, his eyes clearly showing the fear they held.
Kakashi swiftly picked Itachi up in his arms, struggling slightly with the grown man, but adrenaline got him through the door. Kisame and Sasuke followed into the darkness, making sure to close the door behind them.
"I'll drive," ordered Kisame when they got off of the elevator. "You stay in the back with him and try to get his breathing regulated."
Kakashi put Itachi in the car so that he lay on the full length of the couch, ordering Sasuke to sit in the leg area behind Kisame as he himself sat in the other leg area.
"Itachi, try and breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?"
All Itachi replied with was more hyperventilation. Sasuke held his hands, noting the dangerous bluish tinge and immobility. For the first time, he noticed the blood that trailed down his brother's hands and fingertips, splinters showing through. He bit his lip.
Kisame drove with such speed that Sasuke saw nothing but blurs on the outside of the window. Despite how desperately Kakashi told Itachi to stay with them, to keep his eyes open a little longer, the Uchiha went into unconsciousness with his chest still heaving violently.
"I was called down to pick him up," explained Kisame as he drove. "They told me he was acting strangely. When I got there, he was having a panic attack sort'a like the ones you get, so I called Kakashi over."
"Kakashi, what's going to happen to him?" asked Sasuke, staring worriedly at his brother.
"We just need to get him some oxygen. He isn't allowing himself enough."
"Is he going to die?"
There was silence in the car for a while. Kakashi averted his eyes from Itachi to Sasuke. His tense expression softened and he smiled sadly from beneath his mask.
"No," he said quietly. "He's not going to die."
They rushed inside of the hospital where Shizune greeted them with frightened eyes. She ushered them into a room filled with beds surrounded by curtains and told them to place Itachi on one of them as she called for Tsunade.
Sasuke sat thinking in one of the chairs affront of Itachi's bed as Kakashi and Kisame quietly talked things over. Tsunade came rushing inside and began taking action. She ordered Shizune, who had followed her, to place an oxygen mask on Itachi's face as she turned on the tank.
"It's called cyanosis," Tsunade managed to explain as she felt the Uchiha's pulse. "It's a stress-related hypoventilation attack. It's not a large emergency as soon as we get his lungs pumping." Her serious expression melted and she beckoned Sasuke over. "See? He's breathing correctly." [1]
Kakashi stared at Sasuke when the Uchiha made no movement to get up and instead looked at his orange shoelaces. He frowned, wondering about Sasuke's inner thoughts.
"Sasuke, why don't you come stay at my house for a while, huh?" asked Kakashi, outstretching his arm. "Itachi needs to stay overnight for a checkup and I don't think it'll be much fun when you're alone."
Sasuke shook his head. "I want to go home," he whispered, his eyes still downcast.
"I really wish you would come with me, Sasuke, or maybe Kisame could stay over –"
"I want to go home. Alone."
Kakashi sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. "Fine," he said, defeated.
"I'll drive him home," said Kisame. "Take good care of Itachi, Lady Tsunade." He ushered Sasuke out the door. When he made sure the Uchiha was out of earshot, he stuck his head back inside of the room and whispered, "He's all the kid's got."
Kisame drove Sasuke home and allowed him to leave, but not before telling the Uchiha not to do anything brash. He, too, was worried about what a mentally unstable Uchiha would do when left alone in the dark.
Sasuke didn't do much, really.
He trained.
He ate.
He slept.
Correction: he tried to sleep.
There were too many thoughts crowding his mind to allow his eyes to close, even with the chamomile tea he concocted. A candle was his only source of light as he sat in the darkness of his room, staring at the ceiling. It lit the room in an eerie, ominous glow.
Everything is your fault, Uchiha.
"Everything is my fault," repeated Sasuke in monotone.
The lights are out . . . that's your fault.
Sasuke took time to ponder on what the voice in his head said. Technically, it was his fault the lights were out. It was a chain reaction:
It was his fault his father died . . .
If I wasn't so worthless.
. . . Which made them lose their money and his leg . . .
We wouldn't be poor.
. . . Which needed a prosthetic . . .
That ruined my social life.
. . . Which cost more money . . .
And then we had to move, and then there's that time I left Mom unattended.
. . . Which made her need hospitalization . . .
I was so stupid!
. . . Which made them lose a lot of money . . .
Sasuke sat up in bed, his hands clenching his sheets as he mentally listed all of the events, all of the screw-ups, which led back to him. It was entirely his fault. If his mother died, it would be his fault. If his family fell apart, it would be his fault. If they were kicked onto the streets, it would be his fault!
. . . Which made Itachi go to work, which led to their lack of money, which led to their financial struggles and to the bills and to the electricity and it all whirled around in Sasuke's head until his eyes began to sting.
"If I wasn't so worthless!" he shouted to no one in particular. "None of this would have happened if Dad didn't hate me so much."
He stood on his feet, staring at the ceiling with adrenaline suddenly pumping his veins to fuel his anger.
"If I just worked harder, we wouldn't be living this shitty life! I keep asking myself why! Why do we live the way we do now? Why does mother have to be in the hospital? Why is Itachi so stressed? But I knew the answer all along."
He was in the bathroom now, staring at the cracked mirror to see his red eyes, his pallid complexion, his snarl.
"It's me."
He stared at the razor on the sink.
"And to eliminate the problem," he whispered, reaching for it, "I must eliminate myself."
No!
It was the voice in his head that made him stop reaching for the razor Itachi uncaringly left on the sink.
It's too cliché!
What?
Cliché! All the depressed characters rant about how their lives are worthless, how they're so depressed and emo, and then they try and cut themselves with razors, do drugs, and it makes the story too cliché!
What the hell am I thinking?
He was right. To cut himself with a razor would be stupid.
That's why he stood in his brother's room, kneeling beside the broken paintings that portrayed all of Itachi's happiness, seeing the dried blood on the wooden frames. He picked up a particularly sharp-looking piece of wood and turned it over in his hands a few times, inspecting it.
"To eliminate the problem . . ."
He turned over his hand to reveal the tender skin of his wrists.
". . . I must eliminate myself."
And he moved his arm to bring down the razor-like wood across his flesh.
But he couldn't do it.
He wouldn't do it.
Thoughts suddenly plagued him, a thousand a minute.
Submitting to his problems was weak. Submitting to his father's piercing words would brand him as weak-hearted. Truly, truly worthless. Just what his father said. Why should he succumb to his father's words?
Why did he have to live up to his father's expectations of being a pathetic son?
Sasuke wanted to live longer. He wanted to live to prove his father wrong.
He wasn't worthless.
He wouldn't be worthless.
He was going to live, whether the world liked it or not.
Sasuke stared at the piece of wood still in his hands, still moving to meet his wrist. In an instant, he redirected it to his arm. The sharp piece of wood slit his flesh in a jagged line. Blood instantly began to gather at the wound and flow over his pallid skin. He let out a soft yelp of surprise and pain.
But the urge to kill himself still nagged him in the back of his mind. His eyes averted to his other arm, contemplating. His will told him not to, but his mind told his hands to move. The piece of wood touched the skin of his other wrist.
"Worthless."
"Die, die!"
"Fuck."
And his hand moved to slice the tender flesh of his underarm instead of his wrist. He had done it, he thought. He was going to live, and his father's death would be in vain.
But his heart suddenly skipped a beat.
What am I doing?!
He was beginning to panic. There was too much blood. He knew he wasn't going to die, but there was too much. Too much.
What had he done?
"No, no, no!" he said to himself, his voice raising itself a pitch. He'd finally resolved to live. But what if the blood was too much? What if he'd cut a major vein on his arm? Was the cut that deep?
The questions raced through his mind, briefly blocking any thoughts he had of his father and cutting his victory short.
"Stop!" he urged the blood, trying to wipe it away with his sleeves. "Stop, stop! I said I'd live! I want to live!"
Frantically, he thrust the wood from his hands and ran from the room, the pain almost blinding him. His face was set into a determined expression: determined to live. Determined to prove his father wrong. Determined to stop the blood from flowing and pretend like nothing happened.
He banged through the kitchen cupboards in alarm, searching for the bandages Itachi kept. Sanguine rivulets of blood fell down his pale arms as he reached up to inspect the shelves.
"All this talk of wanting to live," he said to himself as he pulled the first aid kit from a corner inside. "And now I just might die."
His vision was dimming in the aftereffects of his adrenaline rush. Shaking fingers clawed open the box and took out the roll of bandages. Sasuke quickly went to the sink and turned the faucet on to a mild rush, dipping his bloodied arms beneath them to stem the blood flow briefly. When it stopped just enough to allow him a few seconds of pausing, he deftly unraveled the bandages around his right arm, cut them, and wrapped the other half around his left arm.
"Damn," he whispered to himself, staring at the poor excuse of first aid. "I can't let anyone see this."
Sasuke sunk to the floor lamely, seeing the mess he'd made in the kitchen and the stain of blood that peaked through the thick bandages. He was safe now, he thought. A damn fool, but a determined idiot.
The memories came back: the falls, his leg, his brother, his mother, and the bold, red letters of the eviction notice.
He didn't know what to do. He knew he had to be strong, and he knew he had to get his life back on the right track.
But he didn't know how.
Ninety-nine percent of his mind told him to live to prove his father wrong. It told him to live every time he thought of his brother's and mother's reactions to his death, how everything would fall apart even further.
But one percent of him wished the bandages would unravel suddenly and let the blood flow back: the half that still believed he had destroyed everything.
Sasuke shut that one percent off and stood on wobbly knees.
He needed to clean the mess he'd made before Itachi came home.
o.o.O.O.o.o
Naruto expected a lot of things.
He expected the sun to come up every morning. He expected his alarm clock to go off, telling him that school was just around the corner. He expected his grandmother to be working in the hospital when he woke up, too.
He didn't expect Sasuke to be at school.
It was thirty minutes into P.E. when Sasuke strolled in, a note in one hand and his bag in the other. All eyes were on him for two reasons:
One, because he was late.
Two, because he looked like crap.
Absolute crap. Sasuke's hair, which had always been a little . . . different, was now even more tousled. His bloodshot eyes and the dark rings around them showed how little sleep he had gotten. There was nothing unusual about his clothes: a simple black shirt and a baggy pair of jeans . . .
. . . Except that it was the hottest day of the year and the Uchiha was wearing a sweatshirt.
"Sasuke, what has happened to your youth?" questioned Gai when Sasuke handed him the note.
"I slept in," said the Uchiha.
Naruto knew it was a lie. He exchanged glances with Kiba, raising an eyebrow. The dog-lover shrugged.
"Well, since your note tells me that you are not youthful enough to play this class, you should replenish your soul beneath the shade of that tree over there! Everyone! Back to your laps of love!"
Naruto waited until Gai was preoccupied with a collection of sporks that he kept in his jacket to walk over to Sasuke. He knelt beside the resting Uchiha. Sasuke's eyes were closed and his head was back to lean against the tree.
"Hey," said Naruto.
Sasuke's bloodshot eyes suddenly jolted open and he stared around wildly. Seeing Naruto, he relaxed and went back to his resting position. "Hey," he offered.
"Did you get enough sleep?"
"Does it look like I got enough sleep?"
". . . Sorry. I was just wondering."
Sasuke sighed and put one hand over his eyes. "Sorry. I'm just cranky."
"That's not new."
Sasuke didn't smile.
"Do me a favor," he said instead. "Don't tell Kakashi I'm here, okay? The school marked me absent for the first period and knowing him, he'll think I'm absent for the whole day, so let's just keep it that way. Please."
Naruto was going to say no, but the second the Uchiha said please, he knew he meant business. He nodded solemnly, promising he wouldn't, but secretly thinking about Sasuke's well-being.
"Why did you come to school in the first place?" he asked Sasuke a while later, watching Gai continue to rant.
"Track."
Naruto stared at Sasuke once more, noting the way his head lolled to the side briefly before he jerked awake.
"Get some sleep, Sasuke," said Naruto, standing and brushing off non-existent grass. "I'll wake you up when we leave, okay?"
Sasuke managed a barely-visible smirk. "Thanks, Uzumaki."
"Any time."
Math class just made everything worse. Sasuke went in, sat down, tried to focus on the lesson, and only found the tensional stress tightening his chest. Numbers upon numbers appeared wherever Hayate's chalk-bearing hand swept over the blackboard.
The numbers came off of the board suddenly. They wound around him, turning red, turning bold, turning scrip or underlined or enlarged.
You owe us . . .
You have an overdue payment of . . .
. . . Or we will cut you off . . .
He groaned and buried his head in his hands, willing the memories to go away. They stayed with him in Shop Class. Kankuro saw the way Sasuke didn't seem focused and willed him to stay away from the saws. He excused the Uchiha from the class assignment and allowed him to work on the project he'd started a while ago.
Lunch after Arabic was spent trying his best to avoid a certain silver-haired man at all costs. It worked, for the most part. He ducked inside a stall in the bathroom and waited until the ring of the bell, and then it was off to Chemistry.
Now it was after school and Sasuke stood with the track team around Genma.
"Listen here, kiddies," said the man, chewing on the toothpick in his mouth. "We've got the marathon coming up next weekend, y'hear?"
"Do you think we're ready, coach?" asked Lee.
Genma stared at the team for a while, smirked, and nodded firmly. "If we're not a ready team now, then I doubt we'll ever be better than we are."
"What about Suna Sand Demons?" asked Kiba. "They've got Gaara."
Genma's smirk only widened. "What about our team?" he replied smartly. "That redhead doesn't stand a damn chance! I really think we're taking home the gold this year. But we've got'a train hard this week and I'll let you off the hook next week. Is everyone ready to run some laps just for the hell of it?"
"Yeah!" was the enthusiastic reply. Sasuke closed his eyes and groaned.
"Then get the hell out there and own those laps! Move! Move! Move!"
It was torture.
"Uchiha!" Genma called when Sasuke passed him the fifth time around. "You look like you ate one of Kakashi's cookies!"
"I don't suppose that's a good thing," replied the Uchiha. Naruto came up beside him.
"Just to say, Kakashi's cookies look like they've been buried for a few centuries."
"Millenniums, Naruto. Didn't you get the hazard notice I sent you?"
Naruto laughed. "He's just feeling a little under the weather, coach. He'll be alright in time for the tournament. No worries."
But Sasuke was worried.
Especially since after school, who did he happen to walk into?
"I thought you were absent," commented Kakashi. "You look horrible. Why on earth did you come to school today?"
"I had a track meet and I didn't want you barking up my rope," said the Uchiha. He turned to walk away, but Naruto stood there, an eyebrow raised.
"I think you two should head to my office before you leave."
"Come on, Kakashi," said Sasuke, sighing. "I think I've had enough to deal with for a lifetime."
But Kakashi was already steering him towards his office by the shoulders. Naruto followed obediently. His curious nature wouldn't allow him to miss out on anything Kakashi had to say.
The silver-haired man closed the door behind them and sat down, inspecting Sasuke's ruffled expression. He was about to comment about the boy's lack of sleep when something much stranger caught his eye.
"You're wearing long sleeves."
Sasuke inwardly began to panic, but he kept his exterior calm.
"Yeah, I was wondering about that, too, but I didn't want to say anything," said Naruto, inspecting Sasuke's heavy black sweatshirt.
Sasuke shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest from the beanbag he sat on. Naruto leaned forward in his own chair.
"I can wear a sweatshirt if I want to."
"It's the hottest day of the summer."
"I'm thin. I need insulation."
"You know that doesn't make sense," Kakashi countered.
Sasuke bit his lip, a subtle sign that he was breaking. Kakashi caught this. He stared at the Uchiha and tried to make sense of the equation he was being given. His eyebrows furrowed.
"Sasuke," he said calmly. "Let me see your arms."
Sasuke stood up suddenly and moved towards the door. "I'm out of here. I don't need to be inspected like I'm going to prison."
"Sasuke," Kakashi said with more force. He stood up and advanced on the Uchiha. Sasuke turned to face him and backed up. His back eventually hit the door as he shook his head, no. "Let me see."
Sasuke's hand fumbled for the doorknob.
It was locked.
Damn! Shit! Crap!
Kakashi gently but forcefully grabbed his arms, pulling his hands from his chest. Sasuke hissed in pain and tried to get out of the grip, but eventually gave up struggling. He didn't want to reopen the cuts on his arms, and he knew Kakashi would find out eventually.
With Sasuke's head hanging low, Kakashi pulled back one of Sasuke's sleeves to his forearm.
Nothing.
Kakashi only saw the untouched skin of Sasuke's wrists. He hadn't raised the sleeves of the sweatshirt high enough. Kakashi audibly breathed a sigh of relief. Sasuke mentally did the same.
"See?" the Uchiha said, trying to remove his hands from Kakashi's grip. "I'm not suicidal. Can I leave?"
Kakashi thought over this for all of two seconds before he raised an eyebrow. "Why were you panicking?"
And before Sasuke even had the time to think of a reasonable retort, Kakashi tightened his grip and pulled back the sleeve of one arm to Sasuke's elbow. He could not help the gasp that came with the discovery; neither could Naruto.
"Sasuke . . . you . . ."
"I know, okay?" Sasuke snapped, wrenching his hand away. He pulled both of his sleeves back, revealing his bandaged arms. The cut on his right arm had reopened and blood was beginning to stain the virgin whiteness of the material with a long line of red. "I cut myself, alright? I thought about taking my life!"
He turned around swiftly to face the door, leaning his forehead on it and punching the barrier with his left fist.
"Sasuke, why would you do such a thing?" asked Kakashi, his hand on Sasuke's back. He still needed time to try and process the whole thing. "You even told me yourself how everyone around you would react if you died."
"You don't understand, Kakashi." The Uchiha had turned around once more, his eyes set in determination and his customary snarl contorting his mouth. "I thought about it, okay? But I told myself I wouldn't! I sat there thinking about killing myself, but I was the one that said I wouldn't do it. I'm not suicidal, Kakashi. I don't want to die. That's the last thing I want to do."
Kakashi stood in silence for a while, thinking about how to assess the situation. He noted Sasuke's mental growth.
"I admire your determination, Sasuke, I really do. But that's another matter. The matter I want to go over now is why you thought about killing yourself in the first place." He needed to get the situation down before he could go praising his pupil.
Sasuke's retort was almost immediate. "It isn't fair," he said. His eyes were rimming with red from frustration and anger. "We didn't do anything to deserve the life we're getting!"
Naruto's own eyes were rimming red in the confusion that swam around his head.
"We didn't do anything and now we're living lower than dirt! Mom's in the hospital fighting for her life, and I don't even get to see Itachi at all now! We're this close to getting evicted and on top of that, he's losing it almost as much as I am!"
"You're under a lot of pressure, Sasuke, and I understand what you're going through –"
"No, you don't!" Sasuke snapped back. "The only way you'd know what I was going through is if you were going through it, too! Experience is everything, Kakashi! You even taught me that!"
"It's no reason to think about taking your life! You were this close to doing so! You don't understand the seriousness of the situation!"
"You don't!"
Sasuke saw the keys on Kakashi's desk. He stood up suddenly, surprising the silver-haired man so much that he fell backwards to land on one of his beanbag chairs, and snatched the keys from the desk.
"Sasuke, stop!"
But Sasuke was already fumbling with the doorknob. Someone grabbed onto his ankle when he finally got the door to open and in his panicked rush, he kicked the person. He was already out of the room before he had time to hear him scream.
Running. Running was good.
He ran, having never switched his leg off of its second mode. Turning several hallways in an attempt to throw Naruto and Kakashi off (if they were following him in the first place), he saw the exit to the school right ahead of him.
And then he was seeing stars.
It took him a few seconds to realize he'd been pulled into an all-too-familiar room and was now staring up (since he was on the floor) at the face of none other than Tayuya.
"Back so soon, asshole?" she growled, absolutely outraged. Sasuke could feel the sickly flow of blood from his nose. "I'm going to give you one second to say a parting speech before I murder you!"
"I'll join you."
And Sasuke pulled her down to kiss her fiercely.
He wasn't quite sure what had caused him to do so, really. Perhaps it was because he thought that if he put his mind on anything other than the situations he was currently dealing with, they'd go away. Perhaps it was because he didn't want to die just then. Or perhaps it was because he had heard Kakashi's voice speaking to Naruto outside in the hall and did not want Tayuya's loud mouth to give his position away.
There was a wolf whistle in the background that Sasuke was sure came from Kidomaru as Tayuya pulled away savagely, Sasuke's blood smeared on her lips.
"You fucker," she hissed. "I'm not falling for that again."
"I swear I'll join you," the Uchiha insisted. Tayuya was seated on his chest. "I'll give you whatever you want, I don't care. I'll join you and do whatever. Just . . . just . . ."
He pulled her down to kiss her fiercely again and this time, Tayuya complied.
"Looks like we got ourselves a feisty new member," commented Sakon from somewhere in the background.
Tayuya grinded against Sasuke as she kissed him, her lithe legs straddling his waist. She deepened the kiss and all Sasuke wanted was more . . . more . . . more! He didn't want to think about anything else but letting his anger out on the fuchsia-haired girl ravaging him. Tayuya's hands roamed under his sweatshirt.
"Tayuya, come on!" whined Kidomaru. "Not here! We were just about to leave!"
When Sasuke's mouth opened to allow Tayuya's tongue entrance, all he tasted was blood. It was intoxicating, but Tayuya's tongue suddenly jittered around his and he ignored all thoughts to retort. Tayuya's hands eventually skillfully took off Sasuke's sweatshirt. She stopped briefly to admire Sasuke's body.
"Ooh, we've got ourselves a little emo boy," she taunted, staring at Sasuke's scars and bandaged arms. She licked her lips, wiping the blood from them, and gave a noise in satisfaction.
"Would you two stop already?"
Sasuke was panting deeply, feeling the way Tayuya ground against his waist and gritting his teeth. He wanted more. He had found a better way to take away the pain than doing drugs.
"This calls for a celebration," said Tayuya, rubbing her hands over Sasuke's chest.
"The bars?" Sakon exclaimed hopefully.
"The bars."
o.o.O.O.o.o
Sasuke went with the Sound 5 that day. He allowed himself to be taken into a sleek blue Honda® and driven to whatever destination the gang wished. Kimimaro wasn't present and when he'd asked about it, Tayuya told him he said he had some things to do before pulling the Uchiha down and kissing him.
Kidomaru, who had been forced to take the backseat (Sakon – no, Ukon had called shotgun as Jirobo drove), gave a girlish squeal.
"Save me!" he cried. "They're going to get naked any second and I'm right next to them!"
"You should've called shotgun," taunted Ukon in a sing-song voice.
"Shut up, Ukon!"
"It's Sakon!"
Sasuke moaned when Tayuya bit his neck. Kidomaru cried.
"Save it for the bar!"
When Sasuke stumbled out of the car, blood still smeared over his face, he looked up to see neon lights and behind them, a darkening sky.
Ultrasound.
Loud music blared from inside. Tayuya pulled savagely on his wrist, smirking mischievously.
"We're celebrating," she explained.
"But don't you have to be eighteen to enter?"
"He's adorable," Kidomaru said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I'm just thanking God you didn't decide to unzip his pants, Tayuya."
"Fuck off, Kidomaru."
"Is that the infamous Tayuya I hear?"
The voice came from within the bar. It was suave, dark, and belonged to a cloaked man that stood at its entrance, his eyes hidden beneath a pair of darkly-tinted glasses.
"Kakuzu," said Tayuya. "We're here to celebrate. We got ourselves that new member we wanted."
Kakuzu's eyes swept over Sasuke from beneath his glasses, nodding. He let the Sound 5 and Sasuke in without asking for a single ID card. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Connections," offered Tayuya.
The bar was filled with everything the stereotypical dance club had. There were blue lights that filled the room, despite the time being only six, and loud techno music blared from large speakers in the back. Teenagers and adults of all kinds were sensually dancing on the floor, drinks in their hands and their bodies grinding together.
Those who weren't dancing were sitting at the large bar at the side. Jirobo acted as their bodyguard to get them through to find seats at the bar. Tayuya roughly pushed Sasuke into a chair and then sat on his lap.
"A new pet, I see," the girl behind the counter said to Tayuya.
Tayuya snatched a rag from the girl's hands and dabbed it against Sasuke's blood-covered face. "Fuck off, Chi. He's our new member."
"Did you get him into bed yet?"
Sasuke was too dazed to realize what they were saying. The memories of his family were coming back and he desperately wanted to suppress them. He wanted Tayuya to kiss him again. His hands tightened around her waist. Tayuya smirked mischievously once more.
"We'll take two cups of Everclear© cocktail – highest proof."
"Everclear?" said Chi. "A little too high, ain't it? This kid don't look that old. Got any experience with alcohol kid?"
Sasuke shook his head.
"This should be fun."
"Cut the shit, Chi, and get us our fucking drinks!"
Kidomaru waggled his eyes suggestively at two girls that pointed to him and giggled. He turned to Tayuya. "I'm going to go celebrate over there," he said, leaving. Jirobo looked like the average bodyguard. He stood on his stool (looking quite awkward on such a small piece of furniture) and stared at the crowd of sluts and drunkards.
Looking to his left, Sasuke spotted a boy and girl hurriedly making their way into the back of the bar, the girl already throwing her shirt over her head as she stumbled through.
Tayuya forced Sasuke's head towards hers and crashed her lips onto his. Sasuke's grip only tightened further. Of all the girls he'd been with since the age of thirteen, of all the girls he'd dated, of all the girls he'd sucked face with in parking lots, Tayuya had to be the most aggressive. Their teeth chinked together as their savage battle of tongues continued.
"You a virgin, Uchiha?" Tayuya asked when they broke apart briefly so she could once again rid Sasuke of his shirt.
Sasuke's dazed eyes stared at her as he shook his head. Tayuya's eyes widened in surprise.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Last weeks of being fifteen," Sasuke said. He moaned. Tayuya's head bent down to suck on the skin of his neck. "I had anger issues. You?"
Tayuya grinned as she continued to suck. When she pulled her head back, there was a highly visible hickey that stood out on Sasuke's pale skin. "Fourteen."
"Don't go too hard on him, Tayuya. He looks fragile," teased Chi. She placed two greenish bottles affront of Sasuke and Tayuya.
"Alcohol is the best way to get rid of problems," said Tayuya. She took her bottle and in one swift movement, she downed almost half of it. "Poof!"
Sasuke looked hesitantly at the bottle.
He was hesitant about the whole thing, really. He didn't love Tayuya. Kissing her felt more like something he needed to do instead of wanted to do – something to get his mind off of everything. Coming to the bar was just part of the deal. The alcohol . . .
. . . He did say he wanted more.
He took the bottle in his hands and uncapped it, trying to ignore Tayuya, who was now beginning to lower her lips onto his chest. The smell was nauseating.
"Drink it."
He drank it.
He only swallowed a sip and couldn't keep it in. His throat didn't want the nasty, bitter taste and so it coughed it back up. Tayuya's lips were suddenly on his, drinking it directly from his mouth.
"Get used to it," she said, letting her tongue roam his mouth. "Drink."
Sasuke shook his head.
I shouldn't be here.
"Drink."
Itachi will murder you. You shouldn't be doing this. Stop it, Sasuke.
Tayuya rubbed her chest again his, her breaths coming out in pants. She took another swig of her own bottle before grabbing Sasuke's and forcing it to the Uchiha's lips.
"Drink."
Don't do it! Listen to me for once!
Sasuke's lips parted.
He allowed the scorching liquid to burn his throat. Tayuya giggled drunkenly and ground her waist against Sasuke's, her breath hot on his neck.
"Drink."
What happened to being determined?! What happened to not wanting to be weak?! Is this the way to fight back?!
He drank it again, downing almost half the bottle. The lights of the bar magnified and the music blasted his ears suddenly. It had just dawned onto him that in order to communicate, he had been screaming over the noise.
"Drink!"
The bottle was empty now, and Sasuke felt slightly nauseated, but the nausea left and replaced itself with a feeling of highness that he did not want to lose. When Tayuya kissed him, he kissed her back, just because he didn't want to lose it.
"Doesn't that feel good, Uchiha?" she whispered seductively into his ear, grinding against him. "Don't you want more?"
Sasuke's head fell back, his eyes closed in pleasure. "I want more," he whispered hoarsely through his harsh breaths. "More. Give me more."
Tayuya was suddenly pushing him through the crowd, to one of the empty rooms in the back of the bar.
Little to say, Sasuke got more.
o.o.O.O.o.o
When Sasuke left the bar, it was eleven at night. Jirobo, who had stayed sober, drove him home. Tayuya stayed at the bar.
Sasuke told Jirobo to stop at a certain corner, saying that he needed to visit someone first (trying to hide the fact that he wasn't rich) and stumbled the rest of the way home. He used the elevator, giggling drunkenly and playfully pressing all the buttons on the way until, through his blurry vision, he could make out the seventh floor.
Inserting the key, he swung the door open, flung himself inside, and said in the loudest, slurred voice, "Lucy! I'm home!"
"Sasuke?"
Uh oh.
Sasuke hadn't anticipated Itachi to be home. He had completely forgotten about his brother in the hospital in his quest to forget about everything in the world. A sober Sasuke would have frozen at the sight of his brother heading towards him after placing the newspaper on the coffee table. The room was illuminated with a single candle.
Drunken Sasuke, however, giggled and staggered forward.
Itachi took in the sight of his brother. Sasuke's hair was tousled, his eyes were unfocused, and dried blood caked the skin around his nose. Something red stood out visible on his neck.
Upon further inspection, Itachi realized what it was.
No, it couldn't be, he thought.
But then he took in the rest of his brother's body: Sasuke's rumpled sweatshirt was on backwards. His pants, although placed on correctly, had the zipper unzipped and his belt undone.
"Oh man, Itachi," slurred Sasuke, stumbling towards his brother. "You should've been there! She felt good!"
There were so many questions going through Itachi's head.
"You had sex?"
Sasuke's face turned comically confused. He raised an eyebrow as he swayed. "Is that what it was? Because if it is, then I just had the best sex of my life!" He giggled after this.
"You're drunk."
It didn't hit Itachi until Sasuke giggled and fell forward, only to giggle some more.
"You are drunk!"
The heat of his anger melted his indifferent look. His eyes were now blazing. Grabbing his brother by the arm, Itachi roughly pushed Sasuke onto their weary couch.
"What's going on? What were you thinking?!" he yelled.
Sasuke's eyes turned downcast. Gone was his high, drunken stupor and in came his sober sorrows – hangover and all.
"And you're two years underage! Do you know how much trouble you would've caused if the police found you?!"
"Sorry . . ." mumbled Sasuke, twiddling with his thumbs. Itachi's yelling cut into his brain like a needle being scratched across a chalkboard.
Itachi let out a frustrated growl, his bandaged hands tangling in his obsidian locks.
"I just got out of the hospital for stress, Sasuke! Don't put me back in it! What the hell happened? How did you manage to get your hands on alcohol and who the hell did you have sex with?!"
Sasuke didn't want to look at his brother. He wanted alcohol again. He wanted to be kissing Tayuya again, to feel the coldness of the tiles as he rocked back and forth and she cried out in pleasure and all his memories went bye-bye –
"Sasuke!"
"Stop patronizing me, damn it!" screamed Sasuke. "One event just led to another and that's how it happened, okay? I went to a bar! I drank alcohol! I danced! I fucked! What do you care?!"
"Sasuke, you're making this so difficult!"
Sasuke stared at Itachi, who looked so close to breaking at that one point. Itachi looked like he was twenty, not sixty – not a little boy who had grown up too fast.
Itachi had grown up too fast.
"You're not helping if you're off doing illegal things!"
"Then get rid of me!" screamed Sasuke. In an instant, he tore off his sweatshirt and thrust his bandaged arms in his brother's directions. Itachi's bloodshot eyes grew wide. "I already tried!"
Itachi fell to his knees in front of his little brother, viciously grabbing his hair. He bent down so low, his forehead touched the carpet. He stayed in that position.
"Stop it!" he yelled to no one in particular. "Just stop it! It's too much to handle right now, Sasuke! It's too much!"
"Then I'll help you!"
Sasuke whirled around and was out the door in two strides.
He didn't stop running. He didn't stop running until he stumbled over the concrete steps at the front of his apartment and his legs gave way in the garden of trees and bushes. Tears were stinging at his eyes. Still on the floor, he crawled over to the nearest bush, his eyes bleary and his head pounding and his stomach churning.
Screw determination, he thought. If being determined was going to cause so much trouble, then he didn't want to fight back. If no one cared about his will to live, then maybe they'd care about his hopes to die. [2]
Before he could do anything at all, his mouth opened forcefully and he emptied his stomach contents behind the nearest bush. He vomited once more after he'd paused to allow himself a few breaths from his stifled tears.
"Aw, is the little kiddie crying?"
It was a familiar voice. Sasuke turned around, not even bothering to wipe his mouth, to stare at the multiplying outline of a man with slicked back blond hair.
"I'll make it all better for you."
In a sudden movement that Sasuke's drunken stupor couldn't comprehend, he was being held tightly by a cold arm around his bare torso. A callused hand covered his mouth to smother any screams.
"Boss, I've got him," said the blond man. There was the crinkle of a radio.
It was the last set of words Sasuke heard before taking a powerful blow to his head that sent him into oblivion.
o.o.O.O.o.o
Itachi didn't go after Sasuke.
He couldn't have.
Why?
Oh, simply because he was trying not to hyperventilate, but it wasn't working well. His chest heaved and his eyes were squeezed shut and all his thoughts jumbled together to make his head hurt.
Why was the world being so cruel to him?
All he saw was white. The whiteness of Sasuke's skin. The white bandages wrapped around his brother's arms, over the tell-tale wounds of suicide. And red. The red veins of Sasuke's pupils, of the hickey standing out of his skin, of the blood that had dried on his nose.
The thoughts didn't help his breathing. He knew if he didn't do something quickly, he would have another panic attack, experience cyanosis once more, and no one would be around to save him.
With that thought, he gathered what little strength he had to collapse on his couch and reach for the phone, his breaths still coming out in wheezes. Shaking fingers dialed an all-too-familiar number.
"Hello?"
Wheeze, wheeze.
"Sasuke, is that you?"
Pant, wheeze, swallow . . . "S-Sasuke . . ."
"Itachi? Are you having another attack? What's wrong?"
There were dark spots appearing in his vision. One of his hands – he couldn't comprehend which – rubbed his eyes, but the dots remained.
"Itachi, answer me. Itachi!"
The line went dead.
When Kakashi arrived at the Uchiha household, the first thing he noticed was the open door of the apartment. The second thing he noticed was the flickering light of a dying candle. The last thing he noticed was the thing he'd been looking for: Itachi.
The Uchiha was limp on the couch in a posture that seemed as if he had once been sitting and fell asleep in such a position, but it was unnatural. His mouth was open, his chest heaving, his hand limp beside a phone hanging loosely on its chord.
"Itachi!"
Itachi's eyes opened. He'd been conscious. His eyes darted towards Kakashi with a look of thankfulness and relief.
"Breathe, Itachi," instructed the silver-haired man, kneeling directly in front of the Uchiha. "In and out. You don't want to go to the hospital again."
Itachi didn't look at Kakashi when he buried his head in his hands suddenly, his chest still heaving.
"Kakashi," he wheezed out. ". . . I can't do . . . can't do this."
"Just regulate your breathing and we can talk about everything, okay?"
The silver-haired man's eyes averted from Itachi to the rest of the room, taking in every detail that looked strange to him. A newspaper accompanied a wax candle that was almost to its base. Looking at the floor to see any signs of anything broken, he spotted a familiar sweatshirt.
Sasuke's sweatshirt.
Oh . . .
"Did Sasuke come?"
It seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Itachi took in one large gasp for breath and his chest convulsed. Kakashi became alarmed.
"Hey, hey! Don't think about that! Just work your breathing down. You're under a lot of stress right now."
"He tried to kill himself!" Itachi suddenly screamed. "Do not tell me to calm down!"
"You'll kill yourself if you don't! Breathe!"
"He got drunk!"
Kakashi silenced himself, his eyes growing wide.
"He got drunk, Kakashi! He staggered in here telling me about some girl he'd fucked!"
"But he's –"
"– Two years underage, I know!"
Itachi's head was out of his hands and his obsidian eyes bore into Kakashi's single gray one. His breathing had subsided slightly. Suddenly, his expression went from serious (actually changed) to a saddened, desperate expression that never before Kakashi had experienced.
"Help us, Kakashi," he said. "We're ill. We need help. I can't take this anymore."
"You're not ill, Itachi. You just have a lot of pressure."
"Why would he try to kill himself?!"
The rage was back.
"Am I doing something wrong? Tell me, Kakashi! Am I doing something wrong?!"
He screamed the last part, grabbing the front of Kakashi's shirt as he said it and shaking the man. Kakashi looked into his eyes to see a familiar crazed stare; a manic stare that was once in Sasuke's eyes.
Kakashi shook his head calmly. "He told me he only thought about it, Itachi. He told me he was determined to live, but I'm still a little confused. I think Sasuke just blames himself for all the things that are happening. We've got to tell him that he isn't the one to blame. We've got to just sit down and talk."
Itachi raked his hands through his hair. "Father's death," he whispered. "I remember in the hospital. He said it was his fault father died."
"Does he know the real reason?"
Itachi's eyes widened.
"Where is he now?"
Itachi's eyes, if possible, widened even more. He jolted from the couch, took a step, and collapsed. Kakashi was there to hold him up.
"I'll call Kisame," he said. "He'll stay with you while I go find Sasuke."
"I'm going with you."
"If he's as drunk as you said, he shouldn't have gotten far."
"That's just the thing, Kakashi! He's drunk! Who knows where he's gone?!"
"Get rest, Itachi."
"Kakashi, I'm going with you."
Kakashi sighed. "Fine. Let me get a coat for you and we'll leave."
Had Itachi been beneath any other circumstances, he would have realized that he didn't need a coat. He would have realized that Kakashi was lying. He would have also realized that, by the dying fire of the candle, something glinted behind Kakashi's back.
In a swift, practiced motion, Kakashi had Itachi's arm in his grasp and was inserting a needle into the vulnerable flesh. He emptied the syringe and watched Itachi's surprised eyes close.
"You know," said Kakashi, recapping the needle. "I never thought I'd need to use it on you, Itachi."
He extinguished the candle and left the Uchiha in the dark apartment with nothing but Sasuke's words echoing in his mind.
". . . I don't even get to see Itachi at all now! We're this close to getting evicted and on top of that, he's losing it almost as much as I am!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Cyanosis - The real deal. The idea spawned after a true incident that happened in my school.
[2] If no one cared about his will to live . . . - It is a known fact that humans have been searching for acceptance from the moment they are born. Sasuke is just another victim.
See? I told you they wouldn't go skipping hand-in-hand.
Important Explanation: The previous might've seemed a little confusing. It must've seemed a little contradicting. The point is, Sasuke has the determination to live. But he, like any other human, needs the acceptance to do so. He needs someone along the way to go "Yeah! That's the right thing to do! Come on!"
But the first thing Kakashi did was overlook that part and focus on the negative. So in a sense, it could be Kakashi's fault that he accepted getting invited to the bar. Sasuke wants to be accepted. This concept is going to be going on for a while.
I would really appreciate your feedback on this chapter, please.