Chapter 10- Alone

I didn't sleep that night. I certainly tried to but there was something about where I was, what I was doing, what had just happened that kept me awake. I feasted gloriously on the wolf that night. When the morning sun had peaked its little rays inside the cave, I put the out the fire and gathered my things. For a few moments, I stared at the wolf's dead carcass.

I wonder if you had a family…I wondered as I cocked my head to the side and bit my lip.

I furrowed my brow and put my things down before picking the wolf up and laying it farther inside the cave. I went to the mouth of the cave and gathered some snow. I buried the wolf in it but I still wasn't satisfied. The snow would soon melt and the wolf would again be exposed to the elements. I shrugged and walked away. I put my pack on and left the cave.

When I was at the mouth of the cave, I looked down and saw Aeris was climbing the cliffs with the rest of her group. I was starting to get used to their late morning get-ups, so their decision of early travels shocked me.

I began my ascent up the Cliff. As early morning turned to early afternoon, I had reached the top. The brisk wind had almost completely dissipated and the top of Gaea's Cliff was about ten degrees warmer than just thirty feet below. I ran toward my bike and quickly hopped on. I was overjoyed I didn't have to rely on my tired arms and legs to take me to the Crater.

Truth be told, I'm pretty lazy. It certainly doesn't show if you compare me to most other lazy people, though. I suppose it's because I still have a sense of responsibility somewhere within me. I can't seem to give into my urge to stay home and just read. I really do love reading. It relaxes me after a long mission…and after other things.

I revved the engine a few times to check whether anything was wrong and broke out full speed ahead toward the Crater. The airship was still anchored near the Crater, so I knew Rufus was still there.

I stopped about two hundred yards away from the ship and pulled out some of the dry meat from my pack. I snacked for a bit and then pulled out my PHS.

"Hey now. Anybody up there? Look out a window!" I said after fixing the frequency.

A crackle came through, "Identify yourself, please."

"Can you just let me up? Seriously, let the walkway down."

"I can't let you up until you identi—"

The man on the other end was cut off and I heard Rufus, "It's being lowered."

I could almost hear the scowl on his face. I waited patiently for the ramp to finally reach the ground. I backed up and then sped up the ramp and onto the deck.

I declared jovially upon my arrival on deck, "Gravity will not be my master."

Rufus walked up to me and this time, I could see his scowl. I tried to crack a smile but I felt like a baby who knows she's in trouble and can't do a damn thing about it.

Rufus spoke in a hushed tone while grabbing my arm and pinching hard, "For someone who is supposed to be a secret, you're making yourself a damn fine spectacle! How you were kept underground for so long, I'll never know."

"It's called hiding in plain sight, Rufus," I pulled my arm out of his grip, "Besides, did you really think people wouldn't notice me staying in your stateroom? All this crew knows is some crazy girl keeps coming and going. They all probably think you have mouthy girlfriend. I'm tired of being suck a damn secret, anyway."

"Somehow, I don't think that's quite the theory of hiding in plain sight."

We started walking toward his quarters. Rufus' posture was stiff and his eyes were shifting all about the hallway. I knew this look from past experience. He only looked like that when he was thinking about me. It's and awkward state to be in when the person you're involved with looks most uncomfortable when around you.

"Thinking about Sephiroth, Rufus?"

Rufus jerked his head in an almost violent motion to look at me, "Something like that."

"You know, if you don't say anything, I'm not going to do anything about it."

"About Sephiroth? You have your orders."

"Yea, I know my orders on Sephiroth: seek and destroy. I'm like a fucking robot around here. Next thing you know, you'll be replacing Proud Clod with me! I was talking about what you're REALLY thinking about."

Rufus opened the door to his room for me. Typical Rufus: only a gentleman when he thinks I'm in trouble.

He breathed in deeply as he closed the door. I was already bracing myself for a long-winded speech on the importance of secrecy when it comes to me and my missions but instead, Rufus let out a long sigh and said, "I missed you. You left without saying anything. Couldn't contact your PHS, either."

Rufus leaned closer to me and began kissing my neck.

I giggled and said, "Yea, I guess the frequency was wrong. I noticed that when I got back to the ship. I wondered why you hadn't called."

I'm not sure how I managed to get a sentence out while Rufus nuzzled my neck and slowly took off my gun holsters.

"It's okay. Where did you go? Did you see the Ancient, again?"

"Yea. They're moving quickly up the Cliffs. They're about a day behind you."

Rufus turned off the light, "Good. We're heading out for the Crater tomorrow morning."

I awoke rather early the next morning and took a shower. It had been weeks since I felt hot water on my skin. Bathing in rivers and lakes is not as appealing as it once had been. The relaxation of the outdoors can lose its charm after weeks of being immersed in it.

When I had emerged from the steam filled bathroom, Rufus was awake and walking around the room in a red satin robe and slippers. He was trying to find something.

"Hey Fee, have you seen my black shirt? I can't find it."

"It's in the closet, next to your wool-lined jacket. It's hard to see because they're both so dark. I noticed it when I got my blouse the other day."

He fumbled in the closet for moment, "Yep. There it is. I'm glad I always have you to tell me where my finest clothes are. You know, this is 100 fine spun silk? The shirts are made special for me. No one else can get such fine shirts."

"How lovely." I said with a shrug while slipping into a nice pair of slacks.

"Oh. When we got to the Crater, we're bound to meet up with the AVALANCHE group, right?"

"Yea. They're probably less than a day behind us now."

"Right. Well, when we do, you're going to capture the Ancient. Got it?"

"Yea. No problem."

Aeris would be safer with me, anyway. I wouldn't have to worry about Cloud messing things up and hurting Aeris again, either.

"You're to take her back to the ship."

"Gotcha."

"Right…no weird shit, Fee."

"I know. Don't treat me like a child. You're the younger one."

"But I'm in charge."

I buttoned up my shirt and rolled my eyes. I could feel Rufus' burning into me.

"You should feel lucky."

Rufus slicked his hair back with his hand.

"Why's that?"

"They think less of me because of you."

My back stiffened and my eyes widened. I tried to remain casual and laced my boots.

"It's not because you could be more powerful or anything. I don't really think you are, anyway. They don't understand what I could see in you. So they think less of me."

Rufus' voice was cold and unfeeling. I strapped my dagger onto my calf and made sure my holsters were in place. I slid my gun and rifle into their respective niches. I was speechless. I couldn't think of anything to say. Although, whether it mattered, I couldn't tell because Rufus had already begun to continue his morning routine. The silence was piercing my ears by the time I left to venture toward the boardroom. This time, however, I was going to be briefed rather than to eat.

I walked the halls in a deadened state of mind. I was never sure whether Rufus saw me as conquest or love. I'd place my bets on the former, though. That thought had always lingered in the back of my mind whenever I was with him.

When I had reached the boardroom, I was accompanied by Hojo, "How might you be, Ms. Shinra?"

"Fine, Hojo. Dandy, even." I said as he opened the door for me.

I sat down and waited for Rufus to arrive and tell us exactly what we were going to do. Scarlet tapped her fingers on the tabletop. The room was filled with people who had either animosity or jealousy toward each other. In most instances, it was both. The tension could have been cut with a knife and I was the only person who happened to be carrying one.

I bounced in my chair a bit and looked around the room. I noticed the newly installed 'Rufus' posters. Heidegger sat near the head of the table and fumbled through some papers. Scarlet had stopped tapping her fingers and had begun primping herself using a compact she'd taken out of her purse. Hojo was alternately writing in a small notepad and glancing in my general direction. It was situations like these that made me cherish my solitude.

Rufus burst through the doors and strutted to the head of the table.

"This is a clean-cut mission. All we're going to do is hike to the center of the Crater. Hojo says we'll find mako there."

"I thought we were after Sephiroth."

I was chastised with scowls and heavy sighs.

"Of course, we are but our main goal is to locate the mako to build a reactor. If Hojo's right, we can build a few." Rufus replied almost begrudgingly.

"Mr. President, when will we be leaving?"

Hojo seemed quite eager to reach the Crater. I wondered why he was so interested with it. He wasn't very geological in his science, and he held very little interest in mako reactors. My suspicions, I knew, would not become justified until later. I was willing to wait. It would be just another reason to dislike the man.

"Actually, I was thinking about now. Fiona has informed me that the rebel group, AVALANCHE, is only about half a day away. We must hurry to the Crater.

Three gestures of agreement were given out and the five of us were on our way. I pleaded with Heidegger to bring a small SOLDIER contingency but he refused.

"Nyahahahaha. Come now, you're strong enough for whatever's out there."

I heaved an angry and defeated groan and ventured forth on the trail to the Crater. My mental image of Scarlet hiking in stiletto heels was soon replaced with the real thing.

"How's the feet, Scarlet? Oh, and might I add, those are just the loveliest shoes I've seen in ages!"

"Hush you little strumpet. "

"Oh, don't project your anger with yourself on me, Scarlet. It's just not healthy. I'm worried about you." I said with snarl.

"Can you two just shut up and stop bickering? You sound like children." Rufus scolded.

I looked at my touring companions and saw that both Rufus and Heidegger were carrying weapons. After this discovery, I knew I could hang back and hike alone for a bit while I waited for Aeris and her friends.

"I think I'll lag behind and take up the rear."

Scarlet scoffed, "I hope you don't end up back with us."

"Wouldn't bother me much. Anyway, is that all right?"

Rufus was apathetic, "I don't care."

I stopped for a moment and then backtracked about a mile. There, I waited for the others to arrive. Even with Barret's constant negative chatter, I'd prefer his company to anyone in Shin-Ra.