You Fight Me
Breaking Benjamin
You fight me
Glad I'm alone to face
I fell
Finding in the end I'll live well
In the light of the life that I have found
Is coming down
I know it isn't real but it's easy
To beat me
(Suck it up!)
Life is sink or swim
Love is blinding
No surviving
I don't know what I wanna be yet
But I can show that I need to see this
No time for lies and empty fights
I'm on your side
Can we live a life of peace and happiness?
(I don't think so!)
Broken I am scared to leave some things alone
(I'm in control!)
This is how
This is how it's gonna end!
This is how
This is how it's gonna end! End!
Everyone is waiting here for everyone
Leave me alone
This is how
This is how it's gonna end!
This is how
This is how gonna end!
This is how
This is how it's gonna end!
This is how
This is how it's gonna end!
Dammit! Why the fuck did that man always have to contradict him!
You fight me
He kicked the wall of the room of requirement, and reveled in the loneliness of the room.
Glad I'm alone to face
Slumping against the wall, he thought 'I need my razor,' and one appeared. His appeared.
I fell
Wouldn't it be funny? He laughed shortly as he slid the dull side along his arm, contemplating. Would it not be funny, if, in the end, this was all resolved? He could look back and laugh…
Finding in the end I'll live well
In the beginning he had lived poorly, and the middle he had lived borderline content. In the end, he would most likely end sad.
In the light of the life that I have found
Is coming down
The contented period of time was already coming to a close; he contemplated, flipping the blade around skillfully as he began to cut designs into his skin.
I know it isn't real but it's easy
Nothing was real anymore. It seemed like his day-to-day life was so surreal, like he viewed it through his own eyes, but at a vast distance.
To beat me
He supposed that if he faced voldemort from that far-off place he saw the world from; he would be defeated quite easily.
(Suck it up!)
Snape would say, "Mister Potter. As much as I hate to extract you from the diluted fantasy that the world is here to coddle you, you must learn to suck it up."
Life is sink or swim
If life had taught him anything, it was that. If Snape had taught him anything, it was this.
Love is blinding
If what he felt for the man was love, he couldn't tell anymore. He was too blind to see anything besides the pain and lust.
No surviving
If he survived the war, and this thing with that man, he thought, he would most likely laugh at the absurdity and then slice up his skin till he oozed his pain. Sometimes he really was insane.
I don't know what I wanna be yet
But I can show that I need to see this
He knew nothing, as Snape often told him. But what he did know was that he needed to see what the man had to show him.
No time for lies and empty fights
Even though they occurred a lot—and it pissed him off to no end—it was truly unneeded.
I'm on your side
Why couldn't the man see…his loyalties lie with him alone. Snape had made dead sure of that the first time they had met unprofessionally.
Can we live a life of peace and happiness?
(I don't think so!)
He scoffed at the idea of true love, happiness and peace. There was only war, hate, and lust.
Broken I am scared to leave some things alone
(I'm in control!)
He told the man this a lot, but it was still yet to be believed. He didn't even believe it himself. But, even as he lay broken on the floor, under the man's brutal and soft touches alike, his vile tongue could not let things be.
This is how…
He ran the blade deeper into the vein on his arm, flicking drops of blood onto his pale arm.
This is how it's gonna end!
Was this how it would end? He laughed inside at the though. Harry Potter…Suicide. How befitting of someone so worthless, as he had always be told.
This is how
This is how it's gonna end! End!
Everyone is waiting here for everyone
They would mill around, like lost sheep…how could those who were known as great, truly be great, if they relied on a 16 year old teenage boy with masochism problems. He shook his head at the folly of it. They could take care of their own fucking problems, he thought.
He had no real fight with Voldemort. Sure, the man had killed his parents, but had he known his parents in the first place? No. sure, he had taken away his home, but that's just the way of things. There was bad and there was good, and Harry didn't really feel like messing with either.
Leave me alone
The blade ran deeper.
This is how
Dug harder.
This is how it's gonna end!
It would end like this. Fuck everyone else. Fuck Snape.
This is how
The man could be left alone, like he always claimed to desire.
This is how gonna end!
And Harry would be left alone. Like only half of him wanted.
This is how
The half of him that longed for a presence, longed for someone's touch, longed for his touch would have to be sated by the razors' harsh caress. Was there really a difference?
This is how it's gonna end!
And whoever found him, he thought with satisfaction, would never forget. Most of all, Snape would not forget.
This is how
And that, as he faded, was what mattered to him most. That Snape would not forget him, that the man would not possibly ever be able to bury him in his mind like so many other things.
This is how it's gonna end!
And then, smile and blood on lips, he faded into grey.