Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

A/N: Please don't hate me, I promise everything will work out for our characters in the end but I haven't really gotten to horrible event yet. Please bare with me because it's going to happen in the next chapter.

Unforeseen

Chapter 10 – Nighttime Blues

Nigel drove home in silence. He was concerned about Jordan being alone with Woody. Woody's new anger emotionally destroyed her and he hated the thought of her being alone with him. Since Jordan had helped Nigel in the aftermath of Sarah, he felt inclined to do the same for her, but she wouldn't let him. As he drove his thoughts drifted to Sarah. He remembered the warming affect of her smile and the sweet taste of her kiss. He remembered the feeling of her sleeping next to him and the scent of her shampoo as her soft hair brushed against his face. He had loved her, there was no denying the truth, and now he felt alone and abandoned. A tear escaped from his eyes and made a slow descent down his cheek. Then there was Maddy, she still sent him letters. After Nigel had saved Maddy from Sarah, Phillip felt he owed so much to Nigel, so he allowed Maddy to contact Nigel. Sometimes he would even send Nigel a letter about Maddy or a picture. Nigel cherished this because he had hoped in his heart of hearts that he would one day become her stepfather. The lone tear was now joined by a river of more. He wanted to move on and love again but the wounds to his heart were still too fresh. He pulled his motorcycle into the parking lot of his apartment building and then went inside in search of his bottle of vodka. One more alcohol induced sleep was all he needed. He convinced himself he wasn't an alcoholic and that sometimes he just needed help sleeping. So he sat down and had a few drinks until he was numb enough to fall into a deep sleep.

As for Woody and Jordan, they went back into Jordan's office. She sat delicately at her desk and he sat across from her. His blue eyes were shining only with concern, which was a nice to change to when they were burning with anger. He opened the box and looked at her, "Please eat something Jordan, you're starting to look too thin," he observed as he looked at her waist line. Her scrubs and jacket hid this from him but in the outfit she had on now it was very obvious.

She obliged and took one of the pieces of pizza from the box. He took one as well. "I think it's time we talked," his voice remained gentle.

She nodded her head in agreement but remained silent. There was a pain in her eyes that he knew he caused and it tore at his heart to think he could hurt her so much after trying to make her believe he would not. "I know I've been a little volatile lately and even cruel but I need help Jordan and I don't know where to turn. I'm not who I was before and I don't want you to suffer because of who I have become. Lily pointed something out to me today that I hadn't really considered. I ran from my past and now it's caught up with me and until I deal with it, I will only get worse. As for us, I don't hate you. Just because I'm an ass doesn't mean I hate you, I still love you, but you cause fury in me that I can't explain. I don't want to hurt you anymore Jordan. I don't know why you said what you said in the hospital or even if you meant it, but right now no matter what it means I can't even think about us."

Jordan eyes turned to an icy glare, "How can you think that I would say something like that to you in the hospital if I didn't mean it? Why would I say 'I love you' if I didn't mean it? Woody I have issues and I thought you understood that, I don't go around telling people I love them and dealing with my emotions unless I'm really sure. How long have you known me? Yet you still haven't figured that out. I poured my heart out to you and you threw me out, I was never that cruel."

"Oh yeah Jordan because the friendship speech was never painful. How can you be such a hypocrite? I almost died Jordan and yet you have make it about you. I'm sorry if after 4 years of chasing you, that the day you decide to stop running is the day I get shot and hurt your feelings. I am not in a good place. I can't figure us out until I am stable again. I don't want to lose you as a friend but right now that is all I need."

"Woody, I told you I loved you the day you were shot because when the hospital called me, I thought I would lose you before I ever truly told you how I felt. I have never been so worried in my life. I do love you and I can't just turn it off like you can."

"I still love you Jordan, why don't you understand that but just because I love you doesn't mean I will suddenly get better. I need help. I don't want to be angry or hurt the people I love but I seem to leave destruction in my wake. I use to think I was bullet proof and then Riggs made me realize I am not safe. How can I protect you if I can't even protect myself?"

"Woody, he was using a gun that shoots through Kevlar, no one would have stood a chance. You have saved my ass more than once and I'm sure you could do it again. Besides I don't always need saving." Tears were threatening to escape again but this time she wouldn't let them fall. "However, I won't push to be anymore than friends you were patient for me so I am willing to do the same for you."

Woody could see how tired Jordan was. "Thank you for understanding but Jordan go to sleep. You can sleep on the couch and I will stay here and make sure no one comes in. You look so tired."

"I'm fine."

"You told me a couple of minutes ago you were tired. Please we aren't going to get anywhere tonight." She wanted to argue but when she thought about it, sleep sounded really good. She nodded and laid down on the couch while Woody went to fill his coffee cup and continue searching through files. He glanced in her direction and couldn't help but watch her sleep. She was beautiful and he would never deny it but he wasn't ready to confront his feelings for her and start any kind of relationship no matter how much he missed her.

Garret spent the night tossing and turning. Each time he closed his eyes he would instantly see a pair staring right back at him. Renee's eyes haunted his dreams. He finally fell asleep at 6 in the morning, however his dreams were far from peaceful. He pictured the night he spent with Renee. Then suddenly she was torn from him. She was pregnant with her ex husband's baby. Then he dreamt that she hadn't escaped the serial killer that killed the brunettes with the evil in their eyes. He dreamt she was laying on the table waiting to be autopsied. He woke up in a cold sweat to his alarm.

Lily spent the night sorting through her mother's things. She hadn't been able to sleep so she decided to get started. She pulled out her mother's clothing and was instantly met with her mother's perfume. Tears followed and she found herself a hysterical mess as she sorted through the first box. She didn't think she could do another box so she parked herself on her couch and let herself cry as she watched whatever happened to be on the television.

Bug slept as well as he did every night. He told himself each night he was better off alone. He'd watch some TV, climb into bed and fall into a deep sleep until the alarm pulled him from his dreams. At first he spent months dreaming of Lily and himself and all they could have had, but since Seely's entrance into her life he lost all hope of any relationship they could have had. He pushed the thoughts of them from his mind and became a model employee.

Renee spent the night looking at her photo albums. She looked at pictures from her childhood and throughout her life. She came upon her favourite one that she forgot she had. It was one of her and Garret. They had been out and saw one of those instant photo machines that cost a few dollars to give you wallet - sized photos. Her favourite one was the first. A simple picture really, she was staring straight at the camera and he was looking at her. They were both so happy. She let herself cry a little and then she heard the cry of her child. She quickly closed the book and went to care for her baby.

Sydney went home to the life he hid from his coworkers. No one knew the secrets he kept from them. He walked inside and greeted the nurse. "How is she?" he asked.

"She was pretty tired today but she was asking for you," the nurse stated gently.

Sydney smiled and nodded his appreciation. He opened the door to the bedroom and looked at the body that was sleeping peacefully. He walked slowly to the side of the bed and kissed her cheek gently. She opened her eyes to his touch. "Your home pretty late," she said groggily.

"I know, we have a serial case," he told her.

"I missed you," she said as a tear gently dripped down her cheek.

"I missed you too. I'm going to be home tomorrow at noon to take you to your appointment," he promised her. She smiled and lifted her hand slowly to touch his face.

Tears started to escape from his eyes and he gently laid down beside her, holding her body against his. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she replied.