A/N: Ok here you go! Just to clear up some confusion I'm just going to answer a few questions I got in reviews:

Haley and Quinn are not sisters in this story

In question to whether Chase and Brooke have a past= they have the same past they had in the tv show- so dated at the end of season 4 (senior year)—remember Brooke takes his virginity after the whole clean teens fiasco? Everything up to season 4 is compliant.

Someone asked if Haley deliberately got pregnant to keep Nathan because she could see there were issues between them. I wasn't sure if you meant in the past or the present since she is pregnant in both but in the past she didn't, it was an accident and in the present you'll have to wait and see!

Chapter 9

Nathan POV- Flashback

"Can you just tell us already," Lucas said looking at his watch, "I have class in fifteen minutes."

"Ok, ok, have some patience," Haley told him, "Brooke's not here yet."

Just as she finished speaking, the door to our apartment flew open, letting in a blast of cold winter air. Brooke pushed the door shut and took a minute to push her wind blown hair off her face.

"Great, she's here, now you can tell us what's going on," Lucas said.

"You're smiling, so it's not bad," Peyton observed.

"Ok I can't keep it in any longer," Haley rushed out, grinning, "I'm pregnant!"

What followed was silence, as three pairs of eyes stared back at us with wide eyes.

"Y…y..you're what?" Peyton asked.

"No…no, guys it's ok!" Haley said sensing the hesitance in the room, "This is good, we're happy."

"Well, I guess in that case, congratulations!" Peyton said as she stood up. She went over and hugged Haley.

"Whoa, hold on a minute. Haley you do realise we're in college right? How could you guys be so irresponsible?" he asked looking me straight in the eye.

Haley pulled away from Peyton and frowned.

"Ok I know the timing isn't ideal," Haley said.

"You can say that again," Luke said.

"Ok we're young, we're also married and happy," she said, her positive attitude seeming out of place with what was being thrown back at her. "We graduate in a matter of a few months. It's going to be fine."

"There's been a lot of changes lately Hales. You haven't been back long. I'm just saying maybe rushing into something –"

Haley sighed and her smile dropped. She sat down on the arm of the couch. Nobody else spoke. In all honestly Lucas was just voicing what most of them were thinking, but weren't brave enough to say.

"Look I know me leaving on tour was a mistake, but I'm back now and me and Nathan are together like we're meant to be. This is just a sign our life is falling into place."

Luke hesitated for a second thinking but soon nodded at the sincerity of her words and squeezed her hand.

"Then I'm happy for you guys," he said, then smiled softly, "I get to be Uncle Lucas."

"Thank you," she said softly with a smile as she hugged him, and wiped away her tears.

"I can't believe this is happening," Peyton said, "we're all graduating, you're both having a baby, it's like we're really growing up."

"I know," Haley said, "I love you guys."

"We love you too," Peyton said, leaning over Luke and giving her another hug.

I watched on feeling like I was watching a movie from behind a screen, feeling detached.

I was brought back to earth when Lucas spoke to me directly.

"Ok I really have to go to class," Luke said standing up, "Congrats bro."

"Thanks man," I said shaking his hand.

"I should go back to the magazine and finish up some work for tomorrow's run," Peyton said, "Anyone need a ride back to East Campus?"

"I'll go with you, I need to swap some books in the library before class," Haley said.

Haley disappeared into the bedroom and came back with her coat and book bag.

"I'll see you later baby," she said kidding me quickly, before leaving with Peyton and Luke.

The three of them slowly tricked out, and the door shut with a harsh bang. I didn't move from my position staring at the door for a good half minute, and neither Brooke, nor I uttered a sound in this time.

"Congratulations," she said finally, I heard her voice from behind me.

As much as I didn't want to, I turned around slowly.

"Haley can never know what happened with us while she was on tour."

"Yeah because that was the first thing that I was going to come out with," Brooke said.

"I didn't mean it like that," I said, seeing that she took what I said the wrong way.

I sank down onto the sofa and Brooke stared at me whilst I rubbed my eyes. I had been up the entire night wondering whether how the hell I was going to handle this.

Maybe honesty was the best policy. Even if I tried to pretend I had control over everything she'd see right through that.

"I have no clue what the hell is going on," I told her.

Brooke didn't reply. I could tell she was thinking too, which told me she was making incorrect calculations.

"She's four months pregnant Brooke," I told her. It didn't really matter when Haley got pregnant—either way she was still having a baby, but I knew it mattered to Brooke in a way and wanted her to know.

"She's what?" Brooke asked me to repeat.

"She realised she was pregnant once she got to New York," I told her, "she said she freaked out and came back because she didn't know what to do."

"Wow," Brooke said.

"She came out with it yesterday and I have no clue what to think," I said. I know Brooke wasn't technically engaging me in conversation but it didn't matter, as long as I had her listening right now I felt slightly better. I know it was unfair to even be discussing my problems with her but she was my friend and as far as I was concerned the only one I would ever breach the topic with.

"So she came back because she was pregnant?" Brooke asked.

"Well…yeah I guess," I said. I hadn't actually thought of it like that, "she said once she realised she was in denial for a while before she went to the doctors, got a reality check and realised she couldn't do it alone."

"She's going to have a baby," Brooke said.

"The thought scares the shit out of me. I don't even know how to take care of myself, how am I going to take care of an impressionable kid?"

"I think you just need to take one day at a time," she said.

"I can't help but think terrible things like I feel like I'm being forced into the life I actually wanted. I had actually asked for this for my future once upon a time ago. Now though I'm not sure it's what I'd ask for anymore." I slipped out.

"Nathan I don't know what you want me to say to that," she said. I knew there was lots she wanted to say but due to the current circumstances either knew she couldn't or shouldn't.

"Forget what I want you to say," I said, "what do you want to say."

"If there wasn't a baby on the line I'd say do what you want to do not what you think you should," she said firmly, "but there is a baby on the way and maybe this is all just panic over that. A few months ago Haley was your world and that doesn't just go away over night."

"What if it does?" I asked her, looking her in the eye, speaking without words. She knew what the implications behind my words were.

"You can't say things like that to me," she said getting up, and zipping her jacket up.

"I'm sorry," I said, standing up.

"Nathan you're looking for an out," she said shrugging, "as much as I wish you weren't using me as that out, I'm worried you are and I don't think either of us can risk that. Don't use me like that."

I wanted Brooke to save me and she saw that too.

Hearing Brooke made me feel shittier than I already did. I didn't intentionally mean to try and get her to act and give me a reason to walk away but she was right and that is what I was doing. I just hadn't realised it. It was already unfair that suddenly without warning the friendship we created whilst Haley was gone was pulled out from under our feet, but making her part of this wasn't fair.

"Brooke, I'm sorry," I told her.

"You're 'Nathan and Haley' and I'm not going to be idiot that tries to get in the way of that," she said.

If it were possible I felt my heard physically freeze in that moment. I could see the confusion in Brooke's eyes and I hated how I was causing her to feel this way.

"Brooke…"

I wish I could convey everything I felt to her. I needed her to know that everything we shared was real and this didn't dilute any of that.

"Like you said; Haley can never know what happened between us," she said.

xxxxx

Present day Nathan POV

I forked some carrots into Jamie's mouth whilst he was preoccupied with the iPad, and then put the plate away, leaving him to it, deeming the amount he'd eaten as enough.

"What about this one?" Haley asked, holding up a gold dress to herself in the big mirror against the kitchen wall.

I walked around the counter and sat down at the breakfast bar, opposite Jamie.

I took out my phone, and just like when I had checked a few minutes ago, I had no messages.

After my hold on messages a few days ago, I'd resorted to bombarding her with messages just to make sure she was ok, but she wasn't giving in. All I wanted was some form of contact. Even if she just texted me two simple words—'I'm ok', I would have been satisfied.

It was like I went about my day with my phone in my hand just in case she messaged. This was hitting me a hundred times harder than I ever thought it would, but I couldn't even concentrate over the simplest things.

"Are you even listening?" Haley asked.

"Yes Haley, that one looks fine, same as the last two. Does it really matter this much?" I asked her.

She looked at me like I was the most deranged person on the planet.

"Yes of course it matters. This is going to be the last appearance I make before I am more obviously pregnant and I need to look hot as a reminder that I can look hot before I get fat."

"Nobody is going to think you're fat, they're going to think you're pregnant," I pointed out.

She just rolled her eyes at me and threw the dress on the couch on top of the others.

"You just don't get why all this is important," she said in annoyance.

"You wanted to be pregnant. You're pregnant. You told everyone you're pregnant. Now you're trying to make people think you're not pregnant. How does that make any sense," I said, not taking my eyes off my phone.

I could feel her glaring at me without seeing it.

"Have you worked out what suit you're wearing yet?" she asked.

"For what?" I asked, not remembering what event or other I was meant to attend with her.

The doorbell rang though saving me from enduring her wrath, which I really wasn't in the mood for.

Haley sighed and walked over to the intercom, automatically opening the door from in here after looking on the security camera.

"It's Peyton," she said, just as the door banged shut.

"Hey," Peyton said, coming in, Sawyer running past her.

Jamie, dropped the iPad at the sight of his cousin and hopped off the chair, both of them disappearing into his playroom before we could even realise their absence.

"Hey Peyt," I said, giving her a nod.

"Gold or black?" Haley asked her, holding up two dresses.

"Err…..black?" Peyton said cautiously.

"Well I'm glad some people are helpful," Haley said giving me a pointed look before asking Peyton, "can I get you anything?"

"I'll help myself," Peyton said, walking around the counter and filling a mug with coffee, "I actually came over to ask if you guys had heard from Brooke lately?"

I gripped my phone, and felt my body temperature rise as Peyton spoke.

The room was silent for a moment.

"Brooke? No? I know you said she was at the launch but she wasn't at the after party and I haven't heard from her," Haley said.

"She wasn't answering my messages so I called her and it says her phone is disconnected," Peyton said.

Her phone was disconnected. She had her phone shut off. All my messages weren't reaching her.

"Maybe she didn't pay her bill," Haley said in a suggestive judgemental tone, and I resisted hard the urge to defend Brooke. Brooke may not have her career as settled as the rest of us did but she was by no means struggling to pay her bills.

"Well I did consider that," Peyton said, and I couldn't believe she even doubted her best friend too, "so I called her work and they said she no longer worked there."

"She what?" Haley asked confused, "Did you—"

"Yeah I went to her apartment and she didn't open the door. My knocking did wake up her neighbour though who told me Brooke moved."

"Are you sure?" Haley said, "maybe she's just being Brooke."

"I just can't believe she would just disappear and not tell any of us. I know things aren't how they used to be with her and maybe I need to accept that but just leaving and changing her phone number like that—I can't help but think something's wrong."

Haley laughed, "Nothing's wrong. Peyton you worry too much. She just got bored of her job and took off for a bit. She'll turn up in a few days. Do you want to come up and help me pick some shoes to go with this?"

xxxxxxxx

Brooke POV Flashback

"Oh my god, I am so excited," Haley gushed, throwing the last odds and ends haphazardly in the box. The apartment was basically empty now with only a few things left.

"I can't believe you're moving to New York!" Peyton said.

"I can't either! I didn't think I'd go back there!" Haley gushed.

"So they just called out of the blue?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, they said they need me to help produce a single for one of the artists I met when I was out there. They liked my work and wanted me! Can you believe that?" Haley asked.

"Wow that's insane! How long will that last for though? You seem like you're moving permanently," Peyton asked.

"Well yeah once I'm there hopefully it will lead to more work and it might even let me finish off where I left off," Haley explained.

"Are you sure you're not putting too much strain on yourself? You're going to have a baby," I said.

"Nah," she replied, "I have like four and a half months left of this and then once the baby's born everything will go back to normal."

Haley seemed like she had everything worked out.

"Where are these books going?" Luke asked, taping up the box.

"They're going to my parent's place, so back with you guys," Haley told him.

"I'll go put them in the car," Luke said taking them out.

"I can't say it hasn't been good having you back again," Peyton said, "But if you have to go again, I'm glad this time you're going the right way."

Peyton gave Haley a warm smile and stood up to hug her goodbye.

"You're coming up when the baby is born right?" Haley asked her.

"Of course! You couldn't keep us away!" Peyton said.

The two of them linked arms and began walking toward the door.

"Brooke? You coming?" Haley asked.

"Yeah," I said staring to follow them out.

"Oh, the cab is here already," Haley said, seeing the car that was parked outside waiting to drive them to the airport, "Brooke, can you go tell Nathan?"

"Sure," I replied but she had already gone down the steps to direct Luke with what bags were going with them and what was going to be shipped.

I turned back slowly and went into the apartment, to try carry out Haley's instructions. It was strange to walk through now empty apartment when so many times I had spent time in the same place when it was scattered with things I was familiar with. In a weird way I felt more at home here than in my dorm room and now suddenly it was gone.

I headed past the kitchen to where Nathan had disappeared to a while ago. He'd been quiet all morning whilst we'd been here helping to pack up their lives—a distraction I'd actually found quite welcoming because if I had to be here at least it gave me something to do.

He'd been quiet generally since Haley had been back but he'd been especially in his own world since they'd decided to move a few days ago. I hadn't been alone with him since the big announcement and wasn't sure if I wanted to be before I had to say goodbye.

I knew this was something I had to get over. Seeing Nathan on a daily basis was only making it harder, but now it was taken out of my hands entirely because he'd just be gone. Really, it might actually be helpful to get some space—maybe I just liked hurting myself though because the idea of Nathan leaving seemed like the worse option.

I wasn't sure how to rationalise what I was feeling and it took me a while to make myself see that maybe a clean break may hurt now but it was something I needed. I tried to keep myself away from ending up where I was in a position where I was alone with Nathan until he had to go—until now.

"Nathan? The cab's here," I said, looking into his doorway and seeing Nathan standing on the back trellis, leaning over the railing.

"Huh? Oh, ok thanks," he said, standing up straight.

Ok, I couldn't help it. I saw him standing there and couldn't live with myself if I walked away without asking.

"Are you ok?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I don't know," he said.

"Nathan moving to New York is a big step. You don't have to just be ok with it just like that—it's only been three days. Have you spoken to Haley?" I said, walking out where he was.

"This is what's right though right? It's the second chance but the way it should be. This time I go with her," he said.

"You sound like you believe that," I said, "if it's not that then…?"

"The scouts called on Wednesday," he said.

"What?" I said, surprised, "What did they say?"

"They said they want to meet me to talk negotiation," he said.

"Oh my god," I replied in shock.

"They're waiting for me in New York," he said.

"This is incredible!" I said, "I am so proud of you!"

I couldn't help but act and before I knew what I was doing I was in his arms.

"They want me Brooke," he said into my hair.

"I knew they would!" I said.

We both pulled away slowly.

"It was always a distant thing for me," he said.

"Well it's not a distant dream anymore," I said with a smile, "it's here, you've made it."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said walking back into the apartment with me following him.

"Nathan you're going to be great," I said.

"We don't know that," he said.

"Well we don't know you won't be either," I rationalised, "wait is that why you're hesitant about going to New York?"

"I didn't say that," he said.

"You didn't have to," I told him, "you realise if you hold back in fear of failing that's failing within itself."

"Brooke," he warned, turning around.

"What?"

"You're acting like if it doesn't work out it's no big deal," he said.

"Nathan, I can see where this is going and you're not giving into that belief you seem to have that this is all you are," I told Nathan. I wasn't going to let him give up over this ridiculous notion.

"Ok stop!" I said, pulling on his arm so he'd stop aimlessly wondering about.

"I don't need to hear—" he protested.

"I'll play your game," I said crossing my arms.

"Huh?"

"Fine you've worked your whole life basically to get this point and if you don't achieve it then you're basically failing," I said.

"Did you think that was going to make me feel better?" he asked.

"But it's true. And you know what? It's everything that you've put in so far that's going to make sure you succeed. If you don't want to be anyone else, you don't have to be. Be Nathan Scott and who you know that means to be, because if you do that you've already won," I said.

Nathan smiled softly and looked down at me.

"You really think I'll be ok out there?" he asked.

I snorted.

"Well now you're just fishing for compliments," I said laughing.

Nathan picked up his jacket and pulled it on.

"Brooke?"

"Yeah?" I asked, picking up my handbag.

"Thanks," he said.

I nodded.

"Knowing that you actually believe in me makes me think I actually can do this," he said.

"It's because you can," I replied simply.

Nathan looked at me and gave me a soft smile, and I could almost see the tension weakening in his eyes.

"Nathan! There you are!" Haley said coming through the door, "can you please go help Lucas load up? We're going to miss our flight."

"I'm going," Nathan said, leaving the apartment with Haley following.

"Brooke can you close up on your way?" she called.

I turned around and took a look at the empty apartment and I felt nothing. I realised one thing as I closed the door on the place I held close. That apartment only ever meant anything to me when it had Nathan in it.

Without him it was just an empty apartment.

xxxxxx

Brooke POV- Present day

"Dixon, stop," I moaned, as I felt myself falling out of my deep sleep. He didn't take any notice and continued to slowly lick at the back of my shoulder.

"Dixon, I'm really tired," I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut as though it would keep the morning light away.

After pretending to be asleep for a few minutes I realised he wasn't going to let me sleep.

"Ok fine," I said, giving in. I rolled over and sat up yawning, before twisting around to look him in the eye.

He gave me his guilty grin, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Come on," I said scratching behind his ears. Dixon barked gleefully and ran off toward the door. He managed to entertain himself by spinning around in circles as I brushed my teeth, managing to leave me in one peace as though he knew I was getting up for him.

I pulled on some jeans and a pink blouse and headed down the stairs into the studio.

"Dixieeeeeee!" Quinn squealed as she saw us come through the door. Dixon affectionately rubbed against her leg for second before sprinting past her into the back where he knew the back door would be open.

"Do you know how it feels to know my own dog likes you more than me," she said rolling her eyes.

I laughed, and followed her into her office, "maybe it would help if you didn't call him a girls name?"

"You sound just like Clay," she said.

"Maybe Clay's right?"

"It's not my fault I thought he was a girl when I bought her!"

"Why did you think he was a girl?" I asked.

Quinn hesitated before answering, "because I thought he was pretty…"

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at her response.

"Oh whatever, he still loves me. Maybe he's just following you around like a lost little puppy—excuse the pun, because he thinks you need a friend and you're lonely?"

"Oh really?" I asked her raising an eyebrow.

"Well you have been holed up in that apartment for a few days," Quinn said kicking off her flip flops and tucking her feet in under her.

"I've just been unpacking," I justified.

"you brought one bag and a small duffel," Quinn pointed out.

"I fit a lot more into those bags than you think," I said.

"Oh please I know wallowing when I see it," she said, "look I know I pretty much forced myself on you as your friend, and I'm not sorry for that—"

I laughed as she carried on.

"If you ever need to talk though, I'm here," she said.

"Thanks Quinn," I said smiling.

As much as I couldn't offload to her about the depth of my situation I did appreciate her offer. Even though I barely even knew her there was something about Quinn that told me I could trust her. She presented herself exactly how she was and there wasn't anything hidden behind her smile. It had been a long time since I had met somebody like her.

"How about you come to the bar tonight?" she asked hopefully.

I'd done exactly what I said I wouldn't and lay in bed with my own company—Dixon aside—and felt sorry for myself and all that had achieved was making me feel worse. I was just reminded why I was alone in said bed to begin with. If I stuck to this pattern it wasn't going to solve anything. I may as well have stayed in New York.

"Please?" she asked, and she suddenly threw me look that pretty much resembled Dixon when he wanted something.

"Ok," I agreed.

"Awesomeeee," she sang, adjusting herself to sit on the chair properly, "Ok I have to do some work, gotta pay the bills."

"Speaking of, I should probably get one of those myself," I said, "I think I'm going to go for a walk and see if I can find out anything about a job."

Even if I didn't find anything some air would do me good.

"Good luck!"

"Thanks," I said, knowing I would need it just to get the courage to do something toward setting up a semi life for as long as I was here for. Seeing my stay as temporary was probably one of the things stopping me from letting go.

I stood up to leave and almost tripped when I realised that Dixon was sitting in my way, looking up at me.

"Ok fine, you can come!" I said rubbing his back.

I started walking toward the door and I could see Dixon dutifully following behind me.

"Knew I should have gotten a gold fish," I heard Quinn say to herself behind me.

xxxxx

A/N: Take two seconds and tell me what you think!