Casey sat on the side of the bath. She was shivering and crying silently.
Where did everything go so wrong?
Just a few weeks ago, she had been happy with the direction her life was taking.
Things were moving slower than she had expected, but they were still edging forward in the right direction. She had planned a career as a journalist – and she had won a position at a news group, with the potential for her to progress.
Okay, so the pace of the progression was a little disappointing but she had had real hopes that would change – and soon.
Instead of the expected progress, Mortan had happened.
Even now, Casey couldn't exactly say that she regretted her actions. He had treated her badly and he deserved what he got. What she failed to understand was where along the line wanting "justice" meant giving up her career.
…and of course Derek's. For all his faults, Derek hadn't deserved that.
When the letter from her employers arrived, Casey had been stunned. As soon as she had torn the envelope open and digested its contents, she had run into Derek's room waving the offending article in the air.
(Since he was still drying himself from the shower, Derek's initial reaction was acute.)
"Jesus Casey! Knock much?" He barked, grabbing at his towel to hide his (lack of) modesty.
Casey blinked, mid-protest, at his screech and her eyes jerked downwards.
"I…erm…" she stuttered, then she recovered, (eventually) tearing her eyes away from his body. "Put some clothes on Derek, this is important!" she ordered before promptly launching into a tirade about the letter.
Derek had swiftly complied with the order to re-dress, all the while listening to Casey's complaint because she hadn't left the room. Even before she got the final statements at end of the letter, a sickening suspicion crept into Derek's mind and he pushed past her in search of the remaining post.
Once they had confirmed that they shared a similar fate, they both sat down heavily on Derek's bed, screwed up letters discarded beside them.
"Can they do this?" Casey asked Derek – as if he'd just discovered a law degree sitting in his educational portfolio. He shrugged.
"Seeing as they have an entire floor of that building dedicated to their legal affairs, I'd say yeah. They can do this." He reached across for his phone. "But it doesn't hurt to check."
Of course one of the benefits of having lawyers for fathers is that you always know how to contact your attorney. Both Casey and Derek's fathers said exactly the same thing, however. Whilst the motivation behind their exposure of Mortan was completely understandable, the way they had executed it had breached some of their conditions of employment. They had, in effect, made their own contracts null and void. George in particular was apologetic. He said he should have read their contracts in more detail but that he had thought it unlikely that the company would risk the negative publicity by sacking them for revealing a sexual assault and blackmail – especially as neither charge was being directed at the company itself. It had happened however, and he felt disappointed in himself that he had been so naïve. Not a great trait in a seasoned lawyer – in George's own opinion.
Neither Casey nor Derek blamed him. He had after all tried to persuade them not to go through with it; typical Casey and Derek single-mindedness had won, though.
Dennis had offered to look into loopholes, but as he pointed out. Suing your employer was not a great way to advance your career.
In fact, the damage to their careers had already been done. After the initial shock, Casey had calmed down slightly and begun the long laborious task of applying for replacement positions with other news organisations.
After her twentieth application had been returned stamped "Not Suitable" in black ink, however, she realised they had opened a far bigger can of worms than previously thought.
And, in her opinion, it was all her fault.
One of Derek's complaints about Casey was her excessive enthusiasm for some aspects of life. She threw herself into dance, friendships and relationships with passion and a zeal that often gave him a headache (particular the "relationships" part). But as he was to find, Casey withdrawing from all aspects of life was equally passionate and far more worrying.
It had been weeks since the letters arrived. There was no light at the end of the tunnel as far as employment went. With the disappearance of their jobs, went the ability to pay the rent. Dennis had taken over the responsibility so far, but it was a short-term measure, particularly as Dennis was paying the whole rent and not just Casey's share. George was paying their bills and Derek had picked up a small part-time diner job to pay for food.
Casey had tried to do the same but been told she was "over-qualified" for every position she had applied. She felt useless, redundant and very very guilty.
The Casey sitting on the side of the bath was unsure how long she had been there this particular night, but Derek was out at his small job so she had the apartment to herself and plenty of time to wallow. Tonight she was feeling particularly low.
Casey glanced around the almost sterile bathroom through wet, blurry eyes. Wondering what her next move should be.
Move back home? Move to a different province/country?
The first would be to admit defeat. The second required money.
She sighed loudly and a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes.
Reaching for a tissue from the side, Casey spotted Derek's razor with its sharp blade.
She looked up and saw a medicine cabinet full of strong painkillers designed to aid recovery from significant deep leg trauma, And looking down she saw cleaning fluids, with their poisons symbols, lined up beside the toilet.
For a moment, her mind spun.
It would be so easy.
Casey stood up and opened the bathroom cabinet.
"McDonald! You finished in there? Only some of us need the bathroom." Derek suddenly said. It must be later than Casey had realised.
Derek tried the door handle and fell into the room when he found it was unlocked. For a moment, Derek stumbled but as he righted himself, his eyes fell on Casey standing in front of the cabinet, and the objects in her hands.
"What the…?" he exclaimed and launched himself at her, knocking the small plastic tubs into the bath with a clatter.
When the orange tubs stopped rolling up and down the slopped sides, Derek and Casey were left staring at each other and Derek's hand still grasped Casey's wrist painfully.
"Tell me you were just re-organising the bathroom cabinet." He hissed. "Tell me this was you and your OCD tendency to clean when upset."
"It was my cleaning OCD." Casey replied weakly – and neither of them believed it.
Derek's grip tightened very slightly. Casey realised he probably didn't even know he was holding her.
"I wasn't doing anything!" Casey protested. "I was just…looking."
"'Looking'?" Derek repeated and this time it was him that had the uncertainty in his voice.
"Yes."
Derek dragged her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. Unceremoniously he deposited Casey on the bed and stormed out of the room. Casey could hear him in the bathroom making small thumping noises as he picked up every single last bottle of pain-killers he possessed and put them in a bag. He tied the bag in a knot and locked it into the suitcase in his bedroom. Then he went back into Casey.
"You don't look at anything like that again? You hear me?" he barked roughly.
Casey nodded her head and slumped backwards onto the bed. Then she rolled onto her side and pulled her legs up to her chest.
She hadn't got anywhere near planning to do anything. It had been a fleeting thought -a moment's madness. But all the same, suddenly she was very glad that Derek had stopped it.
Derek stood in the doorway now, running his fingers through his hair.
"Even when I thought I might not walk again I never would have…" He told her. "Never."
Casey sobbed and Derek moved quickly.
He crossed the room and climbed onto the bed. In an instant Casey was in his arms and he was hugging her tightly to him.
"It was nothing." Casey swore to him – against his neck. "Nothing."
"Promise me!" He demanded.
"I promise!" She sobbed.
Derek released her slightly and she breathed.
They lay there for a very long time. Their arms and legs entwined like they had the night Casey had discovered Derek in a similar pit of anguish.
"I cost you your job."
"We made the decision to act, together." Derek corrected.
"I should have just screamed and hit him when he touched me."
"Then you'd have lost your job for assault, and I'd have lost my job when I decked the head of HR." Derek informed her.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Casey smiled weakly.
Derek kissed the top of her head.
"No more thoughts, Casey. No more thoughts."
Like the night Derek was at his lowest, they shared a bed again that night.
That night - and for the next ten nights.
Until Casey started to pick herself up again.
And Derek began to trust her with sharp objects again.
"Let me get this straight, they fired you?"
Derek put the tip of the pizza slice in his mouth and nodded at the pretty girl in front of him.
Actually, the terms "pretty" and "girl" were completely inaccurate. Sally was and always had been a beautiful woman. Even now all these years after their split, she was one of the most beautiful and intelligent of his former girlfriends and he still cared about her.
"Casey got sexually harassed and they fired her?" She checked. "And you?"
"Technically." Derek said through the mouthful.
Sally didn't blink at his mumbling. She was used to it. Even now all these years after their split, Derek's idiosyncrasies (i.e. bad habits) did not dissuade her from the warm feelings she still had for him. Derek had probably been the most fun of Sally's boyfriends-before and since. He had been the one who wasn't her usual "type" but also the one who made her relax a little.
"Der-ek! That's illegal!" She protested.
Derek shrugged and swallowed. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? But according to George," Derek picked up another slice as he referred to his father by his first name. "Harassment or no harassment, what we did to get Mortan his comeuppance was above and beyond the terms and conditions of employment. We could fight their decision and maybe we'd even win but we'd probably be drawing our pension before we got any compensation."
The eyes he knew so well blinked. "That sucks."
"You're telling me. Plus it seems that one news organisation CEO knows another CEO so before you know where you are, Casey and I are blacklisted by every paper in Canada and prevented from ever working as journalists. Not bad going for one evening's work is it?"
Sally sighed. "Only you and Casey." She groaned. "What are you going to do for a career now?"
Derek shrugged. "I was thinking I might try "Smelly Nelly's" again." He deadpanned and then chuckled at Sally's face. "Joke!" He promised her. "My line was photography so I guess I'll fall into something along that route."
"Wedding photography?" Sally asked, only half-joking.
Her ex pulled a face. "Have you been talking to Casey? She's convinced it's the only option. At one point she suggested we took up wedding planning." He shivered. "Urgh! All those bridezillas! I think she's got it in mind that I should support her too, seeing as somewhere along the way in her head it became my fault – as usual. Personally, Iwas thinking more freelance photographer for Victoria's Secret actually." He smirked.
Sally rolled her eyes. "You never change do you?"
"I wouldn't say that. Fashion photographer is completely different to Hockey god. I'm capable of change."
"Should I go out there and warn all the models? 'Watch out, Derek Venturi's about! Hold onto your clothes!'"
Derek smiled a cheeky smile that was way more than a smirk. "Why? You never did." He pointed out. "In fact, you always seemed rather keen to not hold onto them, as I recall."
Sally blushed.
"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" She insisted.
Derek chuckled. "You still blush the same. Does it still go all the way down to your toes like it used to?"
"Der-ek!" Sally threw her napkin at him.
Derek pulled a face. "Weird. You sounded just like Case then." He informed her.
Inwardly, Sally noted the shortening of Casey's name. Whilst plenty of their school friends had called Casey by the short "Case", it had been unusual for Derek to adopt that approach. Usually, he resorted to insulting nicknames or her surname for those occasions when it had been necessary to get his step-sister's attention. Sally wondered just how much the relationship between them had changed.
The mention of Casey's name, prompted Sally to remember the situation at hand. "So how's Casey taking it?" She asked.
"You know Casey." Derek replied with a shrug.
"Oh dear." Sally murmured sympathetically.
"Yeah."
"Have you got her on suicide watch?" Again, Sally was only half-joking.
"Not anymore." Derek said seriously. "She's moved on from that phase."
Sally's eyes looked panicked but Derek shook his head dismissively.
He didn't elaborate about that night: the night when the reality of losing her internship had hit home for Casey. The night when…
"Oh?" Sally broke across his thoughts.
"Now she's just pissed."
Sally winced, drawing in her breath through her teeth and regarded Derek over the top of her wine glass.
"At you?"
"Obviously. This is Casey we're talking about. It goes without saying." Their eyes met and they both laughed. "She's also pissed at the other news companies for not giving us the chance to shine. This has completely gone against her life plan."
"'Us'? As in Casey and you?"
"Yeah. Apparently we're in this together."
Sally nodded as though she understood, but she didn't entirely. Clearly, something had changed between Derek and Casey. Nothing major, but still significant. The fact they were still in daily contact was somewhat surprising; the fact that they lived together, not entirely involuntarily was astounding. But, then again, she had seen them cooperate during their teenaged years and she had always suspected that some of the animosity between them was superficial.
Derek decided to change the subject. "So enough about Casey. What have you been up to since I last saw you? What's it been…a year?"
"Two actually."
"Wow!" Derek exclaimed. Then he looked sheepish. "Sorry. I'm not good at staying in touch."
Sally laughed. "It's not your fault. I've been away."
"Vancouver still?"
"Africa."
Derek's eyes widened. Sally enlightened him.
"I've been volunteering with a medical charity. The famine over there is awful. They want medical people but they also want educators. People who can teach the mothers basic health care so that they ignore the old wives' tales and seek help sooner. I signed up to teach for six months after I finished college and I was hooked. I've just accepted a paid contract as a co-ordinator so I'm permanent now."
"Wow!"
"It won't always be Africa, I'll be moving around a lot. This is a short trip back to help the main office with ordering supplies and equipment."
She saw the ghost of disappointment in his eyes at the brevity of her visit. "I'm here for six weeks though." She smiled. "Plenty of time for catching up with old friends."
Derek grinned back and brushed her hand with his fingers.
He walked Sally home. Despite the fact that they had both grown up in London, "home" for both of them now was Toronto and the restaurant Sally had suggested was a stone's throw from her house. Sally's aunt and uncle had relocated to Toronto in recent years and Sally had a small annex in the grounds of their home. It made no sense for her to pay for anywhere else when she was away from home so much. Derek had explained that he was currently sharing with Casey; that wouldn't continue much longer as they had no money coming in.
As if it was second nature, Derek walked with his arm slung around Sally's shoulders and for a moment both of them were drawn back to the days when they hoped for a future together. Both of them stole glances now, wondering if –since both of them were single at the same time - Could they try again now?
At Sally's front door they stopped. A small light gave enough illumination to find the keyhole with the key but still left their faces in shadow.
"I had fun tonight." Sally said softly. "Like old times."
Derek smiled. "It was, wasn't it?"
"We should do this ag-"
Sally's voice was cut off as Derek reached forward and kissed her on the mouth.
She was stunned but the shock wore off quickly and Sally tried kissing him back in return.
Short seconds later, they pulled apart awkwardly and the silence was deafening.
Whatever the feeling Derek had been hoping for, it never materialised. He tried not to let the disappointment show on his face, but he needn't have worried.
"Wow! That felt just like kissing my brother! Was it the same for you?" Sally asked when she realised Derek looked as uncomfortable as she felt.
He tried humour. "I've never kissed your brother. I don't have a reference to go on."
Sally chuckled. She could always rely on Derek's sense of fun.
"I mean did it feel like kissing your sister?" she clarified.
Derek shook his head. "Kissing Marti is something I avoid. You never know what cheap make up she's wearing these days. Last time she kissed me on the cheek it blistered. Ironically, it has absolutely no effect on her own face."
"And your step-sisters?"
"I don't kiss Lizzie either, especially not since she ditched her usual Colgate for that eco stuff." Derek shuddered dramatically.
"And Casey?"
There was a pause.
How did Derek answer this? Sally had just asked him if kissing Casey was like kissing her. And the answer was no in a very concerning way.
Sally raised an eyebrow.
Derek looked shifty.
Sally prodded Derek with a finger.
Derek turned away.
"So Derek," Sally asked again. "Was kissing me like kissing Casey?"
He turned back to face her. "That implies that I know what kissing Casey is like." He stated.
His reluctance to answer her question had Sally amused.
Since Sally had assumed they were still talking about the kind of peck on the cheek siblings might share and his reaction said otherwise, she pushed. "Do you know what kissing Casey is like?"
Another long drawn-out silence passed.
Sally's face grew a look of complete shock – tinged with an element of humour.
"Derek Venturi! Have you kissed Casey?" Sally gasped.
"Not voluntarily." Derek finally admitted.
Sally swivelled round to her front door and unlocked it, and then she grabbed Derek by the arm and pulled him inside.
"You are so telling me that story!" She said moving quickly through the hallway, switching lights on. All thoughts of their own aborted kiss were now ancient history.
Twenty minutes later and, okay, maybe confessing about the "cover-protecting" kiss he had shared with Casey wasn't so bad after all. He didn't think he had seen Sally laugh so much in years.
Maybe ever.
But when she asked him if kissing Sally tonight had been worse than kissing Casey.
Derek had lied.
"No." he stated and tried to bluff his way out of it. "Seriously? We're measuring first date kisses on a Casey-scale now?"
"It wasn't a first date, Derek. We've dated before, remember?"
Derek smirked. "Oh I remember." He informed her. "I also remember where your birthmark is." He wiggled his eyebrows in an attempt to distract her.
Sally rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Once upon a time," she informed him, "that might have got you somewhere. Now…" She sighed, her voice tinged with an element of sadness at what they had lost.
Derek sighed too, guessing her thoughts. "Now, clearly we're into "just good friends" territory." He looked at her regretfully. "Sorry."
Sally chuckled. "Why? Not many people can say that they still care about their ex – and mean it. We're friends, D. Good friends. We shared a lot together. It was great while it lasted, but it's in the past. It was just wishful thinking that we could resurrect something. The fact is, if we had meant to be we would never have waited so long before trying again."
"I know. I just…" Derek took Sally's hand. "You're special, Sally: very special to me. I dated before you and since you – you're still the one I miss the most. I felt a lot for you, I still do. Part of me worries that you'll be the closest I'll ever get to love."
Sally looked taken aback, partly by the uncharacteristic emotional honesty – partly by his declaration of historic love.
"But you don't love me now, right?"
"No. Well, not like that anyway." He confessed.
"Good. I feel the same, Derek. We worked really hard at our relationship but there just wasn't enough to go the distance. I don't think you should give up on love just yet." Sally grinned. "After all, you already know Casey is a better kisser than me." Sally teased.
"What? I never said…" He blustered.
"You didn't have to Derek. You have a tell when you lie."
Casey was burning the midnight oil when Derek got home. He could tell she had been at it for a while. The day had clearly gone down around her because she was sitting in the dark, her eyes riveted to her laptop screen.
"Did you even eat today?" He asked her in a frustrated voice. Her hair was a mess and she appeared to be wearing some sort of furry all-in-one suit.
"What? Oh, you're back." Casey frowned. "Where have you been again?"
Derek sighed and made his way into the kitchen, returning moments later with a bowl of chips and some cookies which he thumped down in front of her on the table. He also handed her a bottle of water. Forgetting to eat and drink had been a common issue with Casey lately.
"Eat, McDonald before they arrest me for keeping an emaciated minor in squalid conditions."
"I'm not a minor."
"You miss anymore meals and they won't be able to tell." He turned towards his room and then a "ew" expression broke across his face. "Please tell me you've been going to the bathroom all day." Then he corrected himself. "I mean actually getting off that chair and using the facilities provided."
"Of course I have Derek, don't be silly." Casey started to turn her attention to her screen again. "Why are you being so ridiculous?" She asked.
"I'm not the one sitting in the dark." He explained.
Casey frowned, the expression just visible in the glow of the laptop.
"It's not dark." She protested. "Oh…" as she realised that it was indeed, dark. Casey shrugged. "The lightbulb must have gone."
Derek relaxed slightly – very slightly.
"And you didn't think to change it?"
"I didn't notice."
He took a deep breath and let it out as he walked to the hall closet where they kept the light-bulbs. "Now you see that's my point. Eat some chips or something."
He walked back into the room and pulled a chair over to the light so that he could reach the cord.
"I'll get something at dinner time." Casey said not looking up. "I don't want to spoil my appetite.
"Casey, it's past midnight."
His step-sister looked up. "Really?"
Derek deftly changed the bulb and stepped down. "Really."
He crossed to the switch and flicked it.
Casey blinked at the sudden light and then frowned.
"How come you're only just getting in then? I thought you were only going to the grocery store."
Derek pulled a face. "That was yesterday, Casey. Tonight I was on a date."
"Date?" Casey idly reached for the bowl of chips. "Who with?"
Derek removed his jacket and hung it over the back of the chair, and then he launched himself onto the couch. Two seconds of hearing Casey munching on the chips and he reached up and stole the bowl from under her nose.
"Der-ek!" She complained and then grabbing the plate of cookies walked over to join him on the couch. She hadn't realised how hungry she was.
"Sally." Derek said answering Casey's question.
"You've been on a date with Sally?" Casey was taken aback. "I didn't think you were still in touch."
"Of course. She's one of my best friends." He exaggerated.
Casey snorted. "You! Friends with a woman! Yeah right!"
"Seriously. She was filling me in on what she's been up to recently…"
"(you just wanted …)" Casey interrupted.
"…in Africa." Derek finished.
Casey paused in her scoffing. "Africa?"
Derek nodded. "Sally's a teacher in Africa. She's teaching the young women in the villages to look after some minor illnesses themselves without resorting to myth and mis-information."
Casey smiled. "I always knew Sally had a good heart. What on earth she was doing with you I'll never know!"
Derek ignored the comment, instead concentrating on working his way through the bowl of chips.
"Did you go to the movies?" Casey asked.
"No. A restaurant."
"Then you can't be hungry. Why are you eating my chips?"
"How long have you known me?" Derek asked with a smirk. The smile died from his face. "Casey, you need to snap out of this and start paying attention to real life again. We don't want a repeat of that night again, do we?"
Casey froze. "I'm fine Derek." She protested starting to get up.
He put a hand on her arm to still her. "No. You aren't."
"I'm angry, not upset anymore."
"But you're not paying attention to the world around you."
"I'm concentrating on trying to find myself a new job. Dad can't keep on paying my rent indefinitely."
"I know but…"
"But nothing. Derek I'm grateful for…everything you did that night. Now I'm trying to be practical."
"By not eating?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm.
Casey sighed. "I promise I'll eat more."
"Good. Coz believe me, my days of sharing a bed with you are long past."
"Hi Casey!"
Casey's eyes widened – as did her smile.
"Sally!" She exclaimed. "Wow! Come in!"
Derek's ex stepped over the threshold and into the McDonald-Venturi apartment – Casey and Derek's.
"Sorry to spring this on you without calling. Derek told me where you were living and he gave me his cell phone number but he didn't give me a phone number for this place."
"We don't have one. There didn't seem to be any point since we both had cell phones. It was one more expense."
Sally nodded in understanding and there was a moment's hesitation before the two girls hugged.
"It's been too long." Sally said to Casey as she released her friend.
Casey nodded enthusiastically. "Far too long. Derek tells me you are working in Africa. Let me get you a drink and then you can tell me all about it!"
"Oh!" Casey's breath caught as she looked at Sally's laptop in front of them. "They are so…happy – and dare I say it? - adorable!"
She was looking at a slideshow of some of the people Sally was working with. The photographs were clearly taken by Sally for her own memories but they did a good job of conveying her friendship with the young girls.
Sally smiled in a maternal fashion. "They've been starved of mental stimulation for so long that they have such an appetite to learn. My girls don't have much in the way of schooling and some of them are mothers so young. But they know the power of education. I'm only supposed to teach them about health matters, but the only way you can teach people who don't read is by rote. I wanted it to be fun for them so that they remembered what they were taught. I wrote some songs for them. Just the facts set to nursery rhymes. My students loved it and they wanted more. When they had learnt all the information I was supposed to teach they still clambered for more songs. I started teaching them other songs, like the alphabet and phonics. Now I have five students who progressed so quickly they can read and write themselves. We're trying to gain funding to send them out to out-lying villages so that they can set up their own educational groups. Not schools, just the same health message as at the main centre but it's needed and important and…" Sally ran out of breath. "Sorry." She apologised. "I get a bit enthusiastic."
Casey grinned. "I don't blame you. But isn't it frightening? Being so close to conflict?"
Sally shrugged. "Most of the time we don't notice the actual fighting. We go where the women are and they've learnt the hard way to avoid the soldiers. In some communities the women and female children are the only occupants left. Even the young boys fight. We have a guard around us, but also the group I'm with command respect in the region. Many of the soldiers have wives and mothers who have been helped by our organisation. There is a sense of needing to leave us alone. And they recognise that we don't get involved in the politics."
Casey smiled at her. "I'm in awe, Sally! You've done such a wonderful thing!"
Sally snorted and shrugged. "I didn't set this up. And there's a team of us, Casey. It's not just me. All I gave was my time and patience, and a little of my knowledge."
"But, it's making so much of a difference!"
Her friend looked wistful. "I hope so. It's hard though. We are under-funded because the scale of need we are talking about is great."
"I wish I had the qualifications to contribute this way." Casey was also wistful. Sitting on her backside moaning about not having a job whilst Sally was doing something so worthwhile was just…
Sally looked at her slyly. She sat back in her chair and placed her hands on her lap in a way that said she was about to say something earth-shattering.
Because she was.
"You know Casey, that's exactly why I'm here."