Here is the chapter you've been asking for! A long chapter to say sorry for taking so darn long.
It took hours to pull myself together. I'd no sooner left Athanasios' party than the gravity of what happened hit me. Slade was dead now too. The volcano had mercilessly wiped out a dozen tributes, including half of the Career pack, and was forcing the other players to hide in the woods. Snow had me invited to the party so he could be there when I watched the fire sweep over the landscape. What had my reaction been? To threaten his life.
"What's wrong?" Taftan asked as soon as I entered District Twelve's loft.
"I must be some special kind of idiot." I said shakily.
And I was an idiot. President Snow had no sooner warned me that he would readily strike at me through those I loved before I'd very clearly threatened his life. There was only a few questions left unanswered. Who was his next victim? When would they die? Where? Of course the truth of the matter was horrifying and simple: anyone, any time, anywhere.
Sensing my extreme distress, Taftan gabbed my hand and led me into my room, sat me on my bed, and knelt in front of me with his large warm hands wrapped around my comparably small ones, "Tell me everything."
Instantly tears began to flow down my face and I began to sob hysterically. My best friend wasted no time and pulled me into his arms. All the bravery and strength I'd felt hours ago had washed away, leaving behind a bitter cracked husk of fear and teary regret. I felt pathetic, crying uncontrollably off and on for hours. However, Taftan patiently took me into his arms and rubbed my back comfortingly each time. Luckily I didn't break down when I changed out of my dress because both Taftan and I were shy about indecency.
Changed and free of make-up, all I wanted to do was tell my best friend how royally I'd screwed up. But, for the first time in the three years I'd known him, I found myself incapable of telling Taftan what the matter was. Unable to say tell my tale, I whispered something I'd wondered about since I let him go.
"W-why d-do you love m-me? Y-you hav-ve ever-ry reas-son t-to h-hate me." I wept into his shoulder.
Taftan stiffened slightly, "I have no reason to hate you, Titania. You broke up with me because you couldn't handle being so close to people and I was the complete dunce who gave up too easily. I couldn't really blame you for finding someone who helped you heal, now could I?"
I stood there, just gripping the front of his shirt, and trembled head to toe as the cotton continued to soak up my tears. Thankfully I could hide my face in my best friend's collarbone or he would have seen the shame there. Everything he'd said was true— except the part about him being a dunce— but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty.
"But I have every reason to love you, my damp little daisy." Taftan kissed my hair, "Why don't you and I order some food and just hang out? It's been too long since we've done something not Hunger Games related."
"It's three in the morning and neither of us have slept." I pointed out reluctantly, stepping away from him slightly; hanging out sounded like the perfect remedy for my fears.
"I'm a baker and your a Victor," Taftan laughed, his wide shoulders shaking because of it, "since when was sleep relevant?"
And just like that, my mood changed to fit his happy and carefree vibe, "Fair enough."
"So what do you want to do?" Taftan asked with a smile.
"We're going to need a blanket, plenty of food, two pitchers of hot chocolate, and a good view." I listed off on my fingers.
The both of us knocked off everything on my list in only a couple of minutes. We set a blanket on the balcony that overlooked the Capitol skyline, and enjoyed the fruit platter we'd ordered as the horizon began to take on a grayish hue. The both of us were so relaxed that it wasn't long before we stretched out on the balcony. Taftan's legs settled down next to me from my rested position with my head on his flat stomach.
"Okay, this papaya fruit is disgusting." I frowned and held some up for Taftan so he could decide for himself.
He leaned forward and took a bite, scrunching his nose, "I agree. Gross."
For a couple minutes we simply ate and relaxed, watching the sun slowly rise. The fear I'd felt earlier was now hidden in a dark crevice of my mind. This is how it always was— or at least when I wasn't having a meltdown— between Taftan and I. How things could have been.
Apparently he was thinking along the same lines, "Is this how we would have spent our days, the two of us?"
I shrugged lightly, "Dunno. It depends on if I was Reaped or not in this scenario of yours."
Taftan was thoughtfully silent for a bit, "Does it matter? I could see us eating fruit and watching the sun rise either way."
He didn't fool me. Taftan most certainly couldn't lie or deny it. I knew which he preferred.
"Fine. Let's plunge into this fantasy world you frequently indulge, where I was never Reaped." I say with a certain amount of bitterness. Not that I had to explain my tone to him. By now my best friend knew how I felt about this particular topic. It hurt too much to think about how my life could have been if not for the Games.
Taftan spoke after an unsure pause,"We'd be on the bakery rooftop, eating the blackberries you would have brought in from Outside. We'd watch the sun rise up over the pines on the horizon."
"Colby would tease us on our way up to the roof." I added, a smile just barely touching my lips.
Taftan nodded in agreement, an infectious grin encouraging my own, "Your brothers would tease us when I picked you up at the shop before that. Unless your Mother is working the counter, she wouldn't tolerate that."
I snorted, "Matchmaker is a more accurate term than Mother."
"She loves you." Taftan gave me a truly happy smile as the sun finally peaked over the horizon; it was hard to tell which was more radiant.
"Loves me enough that if we'd still been together she'd have married me off to you the minute I turned sixteen." I scoffed good-naturedly despite the fact it was completely true.
"I don't doubt it." he shook his head and began to twirl a curly lock of my golden hair around his finger, an absentminded habit I noticed after winning the Games. Almost as if he needed physical proof I still existed. Worried that I might be something he conjured up in his head.
"So we'd eat blackberries on the roof in the summer, and on October first we'd be married." I thought aloud pursing my lips in thought, "Would we have kids in this fantasy?"
He shrugged, "Well, I know I want kids someday, so it depends on you."
I sit up and turn to face Taftan with a deadpan expression, "Oh, I want a dozen at least."
My friend gaped like a fish out of water, "I'm s-sorry, w-what?"
I threw back my head and laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes, "Don't worry, I'd never have a dozen kids— way too many mouths to feed."
"Three?" the poor fellow asked in obvious relief.
"Three." I nod, the laughter leaving me as quickly as it came, "Can we stop this game now?"
Taftan studied my face for a moment and nodded, "We can stop."
I leaned back down against him and watched the sun rise up over the tall Capitol buildings. How had I forgotten in the last couple days that being around Taftan Mellark could be so comfortable? The Hunger Games. They always got in the way when I needed my best friend the most.
Turning over, sleepy at last, I rested my head against Taftan's flat stomach and started to drift off. After a while Taftan's hand began to stroke my long blonde hair. Subconsciously I snuggled in closer to him. My best friend's arms slipped around me and I was so warm and at ease that I instantly drifted off into dreamless sleep.
Eventually, when I woke up, I knew it was time to get started on the long day ahead. Yet at the same time, I didn't want to break this relaxed spell that hung over us by leaving the balcony. Too few chances to do what I wanted to do came my way and hanging out with my best friend was too good to pass up.
It ended up being Taftan who moved away first. The sun had risen well over the horizon now and a new day was spread out for me to take by the horns. I'd have to send Haymitch and Maysilee their food and water rations at lunch time, any medicine needed, and a whole myriad of things that would help them. Surely another stupid party was tonight; the Capitol people loved to hold parties every night during the Hunger Games. Alvis no doubt would arrive within the next half hour which only meant I'd have to make small talk every waking moment for the rest of the day. And don't let me forget that somewhere in between the Galas and fame that Snow was going to kill someone to get back at me for threatening him. Yippy.
"I'm heading down to the Training Center for a bit!" I hollered to Taftan who'd disappeared while I was musing, "Let Alvis know I have my stupid pager!"
"Alright!" he called back, roaring with laughter for some odd reason.
Deciding everyone needed a little time to be crazy I didn't question his strange mood and hopped into the elevator. First thing's first, I would get a good workout in to clear my head of the confusing words bouncing around in my skull. How had those words my friend told me in the fog of sleep stuck so clearly in my head? The confined space of the elevator began to suffocate me and I was grateful when the doors opened up to the impeccably large underground training room.
Feeling sentimental, I wandered over to the archery station. Since the tributes were in the Arena there was no one manning the stations anymore. Only the Victors came here at this point to work off a little steam. Pulling back on the string of the bow I'd picked up, I aimed and hit the closest target through the heart. Arrow after arrow landed in it's chest until I felt a little better. Thank you Bay Nortek for giving me good memories of this activity.
I moved onto an intense session of agility and knife throwing simultaneously soon after. Stretches, rope climbing, and even some spear throwing found their way into my workout. I was blissfully uninterrupted during in the Training Center. In fact, I so enjoyed being alone and active that I lost track of time. I didn't bother to clean up the massacre of dummies on the floor when finished because if I didn't hurry back to the loft I'd miss part of the Hunger Games. And that would be a real shame.
By the time I made it back up to District Twelve's loft I had just barely enough time for a quick shower and change before the first update of the day. No deaths to report. Surely this was the opposite of the desired result the Gamemakers had been aiming for. Every year in the past told an unspoken rule that I had seen up close and personal. If you drive a lot of tributes into the same area they end up killing each other off quicker. But they apparently don't if you force them together using a volcano.
It took me all of ten seconds to realize it was probably because of the poisonous smog caused by the burning trees that the lava had flamed. Ironically the poisonous trees and plants opposite the volcano helped give some sort of protection from the deadly smoke. Both Haymitch and Maysilee were smart enough to use their shirts to cover their mouths and noses. At least I wouldn't have to scrape together money for rebreathers like I saw the Career tributes receiving. Wow they could be dense sometimes.
The screen clicked off and Alvis ushered me and Taftan to the dining table for lunch. Picking at my food a bit, I forced myself to eat. If I could survive playing the Games, I could surely survive watching them and in order to do that I would have to ingest something at one point. This got me identical approving looks from both my escort and my best friend.
After lunch Alvis, Taftan, and I went to the market to knock a few things off of our to-do list. While they went Sponsor hunting I headed over to the Parachute Station where a few other Victors were placing their orders. Brutus was there and despite the fact that I broke his collar bone twice we sort of walked towards each other at the same time and began some idle chatter. Well, what passed for idle chatter in his mind anyways. He kept alluding to how his tributes were likely to annihilate everyone this year and even apologized that my tributes wouldn't pose much of a threat.
One of the mentors from Six started laughing at how the tributes from Two were more likely to asphyxiate than annihilate. This made us all laugh except for Brutus who decked the guy. Everyone except Six saw it coming and no one stepped in to stop Brutus. It was sort of an unspoken rule. If you're either brave or stupid enough to take a shot at another mentor then don't be surprised if you end up with some missing teeth.
Shaking my head sadly, I turned and ordered Haymitch and Maysilee's food and water rations. One of the other Mentors cracked a joke when I finished. Something about being safe to watch other people starve to death. Brutus obviously didn't get why everyone was laughing and started to take offense so the others cleared out before anyone else got one of his dinner plate fists jammed down their throat.
"Were they laughing at me?" Brutus huffed; his knuckles cracked from the force of his hands balling up, and I was glad the two of us were never in the Games together.
"No it's just an Outer-District thing." I shrugged. Even after a person wins the games they tend to fit into either one of two groups: the Careers and the Non-Careers. All the Mentors treated me like I was a Career but it didn't change the fact that I was from the District farthest from the Capitol. I alone bridged the gap between the groups.
A thought struck me. At home in District Twelve, I was also the only one who bridged the gap between the Upper-District and Seam. I hadn't always been like this. When I was a kid growing up I was just like anyone else from the Upper-District. I went to school where I learned about coal, played outside with my friends, and believed that what my Mother told me about the Seam being a dangerous place was true. It wasn't until I was twelve that I changed. Not intentionally, but it sort of snuck up on me. I bridged the gap between Career and Non-Career, Upper-District and Seam, Capitol and District, and at times even life and death. Without meaning to I had become a neutral middle ground that everyone respected. And it was all because I met Haymitch.
Shaking my head to clear it, I found Alvis and Taftan chatting up some Capitol ladies over coffee. Just by looking at them I could see that they were the gossiping kind. My Father had joked once that there used to be three types of communication: telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-woman. He hadn't been serious, but sadly the joke told the truth. Sometimes gossip passed along faster than lightning. Which became obvious when the women spotted me as I sat down next to Taftan.
"Oh!" the one woman with a magenta feather boa around her shoulder gasped, hand over her heart, "Goodness me, Titania Fellcrest!"
The other one, who was decked out in some oddly complimentary green color and gold tattoos, tisked at her companion, "Pull yourself together Wyna, you're acting like a complete fool. This is exactly why we got kicked out of Yauza's party the night before last."
"It's been a while since that reaction has bothered me." I soothed with my trademark charming smile as I reached out for magenta's hand.
She reached across the table with much more self restraint than her initial reaction and shook my hand daintily, "It's such a pleasure to meet you at last. Your friend Alvis and I were just discussing a possible sponsorship for Maysilee Donnor."
"We don't want to talk about that now that we've got you here," Green-and-gold gave Magenta a look I could only assume meant 'shut up', "we've been hearing some very interesting things about you Ms. Fellcrest."
"Something appalling, I'm sure." Alvis smirked playfully.
The ladies started laughing and I followed. Taftan, who looked lost, attempted a chuckle that came out more like a worried cough. Not that our magenta and green friends noticed. They were too busy getting all the 'best gossip' from me. In the end I learned more about myself than I ever knew. Or, at least the Capitol's perception of me. And I walked away with plenty of Sponsorship money to share between Maysilee and Haymitch.
"I'm pretty sure Alvis was getting nowhere with those two until you showed up." Taftan whispered in my ear as the elevator rose towards the District Twelve loft.
"Gossip's worth it's weight in gold." I joked back, my lips donning a genuine smile.
"What are you two murmuring about over there?" Alvis turned to look at Taftan and I, who blush instantly; this caused Alvis to smirk as we arrived at the loft, "A private matter, hm?Titania Fellcrest, you protest it all too often, but you do toy with boys' hearts."
Taftan gave me a confused look as Alvis exited the elevator, "What?"
I stood there, feeling like I'd been slapped, and wondering what to do next. I was with Taftan on this one. What the heck was Alvis going on about? I have one boyfriend and one best friend and I never let those lines blur. Or did I? Picnics on the balcony, watching the sun rise, cuddling up to watch the Games... those were things boyfriends were supposed to do. Was it possible I was toying with my best friend without even meaning to? In which case there was only one thing I could do. To set the record straight.
"I..." Looking over at Taftan, I could see now that he knew exactly what Alvis had been talking about and had been trying to hide it, "I'm turning in for the night. See you tomorrow."
A large warm hand caught my arm, "Wait."
I turned and met Taftan's blue eyes with my own and gave him an annoyed glare, "It has been a long day and I am tired."
His eyebrows etched themselves into worry, "Don't listen to Alvis. He doesn't have the slightest clue what you're going through."
"And you do?" I snapped, patience for anymore shenanigans wearing thin.
"I watched you go into the Hunger Games didn't I?"
My mood turned from sour to the bitter tang of regret, "I'm sorry."
Taftan gave me a sad smile as we stepped off the elevator, "Don't worry about it. I never told you how it felt for me to watch you in the Games, but it was downright terrifying."
"I felt the same way." I half-joked.
He a genuine smile crossed his face before it dropped back into the seriousness of our conversation, "The whole time you were gone I was on the edge of some nervous breakdown."
A hundred responses came to mind. Some would brush off his words with another joke, another would say he didn't hardly know what true fear was, others would pretend I sensed his distress. None however made it from my brain to my mouth. Somehow the correspondence between the two had been lost, leaving me totally mute.
Taftan was looked embarrassed, but continued, "When you made it into the final eight it was like... I couldn't breathe. You were so close to coming home. The reporters came flooding in because both your District Partner were still in the Games and despite how many times I told them I was your boyfriend no one wanted to hear it. They said there was no way you'd give up a looker like your partner for an okay guy like me." The hurt was plain in his face as we slumped down the walls across from each other, "All of a sudden it was like I didn't exist in your life anymore."
Finally I understood how betrayed Taftan must have felt. And for the first time in my life it wasn't someone else doing this to the person I loved, it was me. I was hurting Taftan and had been for a long time.
Taftan's foot nudged mine, bringing me back to the present, "I'll cut to the chase. Alvis doesn't know how broken and disjointed a person becomes when someone they love is in the Hunger Games. And because that person can't hold themselves together..." His gaze met mine with such a sacrificial lamb look on his face it broke my heart, "someone else has to."
We sat there outside the elevator just staring into the infinity of one another's eyes for what felt like eons. I didn't even realize that tears were beginning to trek down my face until my best friend crouched forward and wiped them off with his large warm thumbs. Those strong hands cradled my face like I was the most delicate thing ever created in the universe. It just made me feel worse.
Grabbing his wrists with my small hands I slowly pushed them away from my face, "Stop it. You knew exactly what Alvis was getting at back in the elevator. Don't lie about it either, I could see it in your face."
"All I know is that I'm trying to keep you from unraveling." Taftan said, frustration tinging his sadness, "And I'll do whatever it takes to do it."
"There are some things even you can't fix."
"This isn't one of those things."
"Maybe it is."
"It isn't. Last year you came back from Mentoring in worse shape than you've been the entire time I have been here helping you combined. You know it's the truth." Taftan pointed out.
Dang; he was right, "Be that as it may, I am going to bed now."
I walked down the hallway and gripped the doorknob when Taftan called out, "Wrong room, Titania."
"You can have my room tonight." I called back and entered the room Haymitch had been sleeping in before he was taken away to the Arena.
Everything had been cleaned, so I didn't necessarily understand why I was in there. The pillows and blankets wouldn't smell like him, he hadn't brought anything with him that might have been left behind, nothing about this place could remind me of him. And yet it made me feel, well, not better, but a little less like Haymitch was who knows how far away. Hating the Capitol clothes I was wearing, I stripped down to my underclothes and curled up beneath the covers. A memory, faint though it was, surfaced in my mind. Bay walking in on me sleeping in my underwear before the forty-eighth Games. He'd blushed so badly.
Smiling, I drifted off to sleep.
The sound of the Capitol anthem woke me up. Outside my window the sun was already well into the sky. It must be the ten-thirty Quarter Quell update already. Crap! How on earth had I slept so long? My nightmares always made sleep impossible. I pulled on the clothes I'd worn the night before and made a mad dash for the main room where the flat screen was just starting to play the clips from last night.
The most interesting thing was three Careers making their way towards the edge of the Arena. Everyone else was trying to cure burns and lay lower than the slowly dissapating smoke. Luckily Haymitch and Maysilee had been far enough from the volcanic eruption they were among the few who hadn't gotten burns. The update was just about over and I let go of a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding. My tributes were relatively safe.
Like a slap to the face, Caesar Flickerman suddenly exclaimed that there was some live action going on and the whole audience was looking at Haymitch Abernathy, dirty and sporting a plethora of small wounds, circling around the gigantic hedges that blocked him in his quest to... go wherever he was headed. Not even I knew the answer. The pack of three Careers were traveling towards right for Haymitch. Neither had a clue the other was headed in their direction.
Without looking away from the screen I drifted closer towards it like a ghost. I was so numb inside as I watched Haymitch's face morph into surprise. The three Careers appeared out of the brush and had him quickly surrounded. One of them, probably the leader, laughed coldly as Haymitch pulled out the Bowie knife he'd gotten from the Cornucopia.
"Looks like we're going to have fun with this one." he grinned manically and his partners chuckled.
"Like big fat kittens with a ball of string." Haymitch taunted, trying to play off their pride and cockiness, "I always figured you for house-cats."
The leader drew his heavy curved sword with ease and sprang at Haymitch. Grabbing the Leader's other arm, Haymitch swung him into a tree. An audible squelch could be heard as a jagged piece of tree-branch pierced the Career's chest. Turning towards the other Careers, Haymitch spun his knife easily. Apparently I wasn't the only one good with a knife.
After that the fight was surprisingly short. Something to do with tricking girl into spearing the other male through the diaphragm and then stabbing her in the heart. My sigh of relief turned into a gasp of surprise as a fist smashed into Haymitch's temple. The blow was hard enough to knock him to the ground.
The Career who'd been gored by the tree had broken the branch off the tree and was wearing it through his midsection to keep himself from bleeding to death. Carelessly he yanked the Bowie knife from his dead companion's chest. A pained glaze in his eyes did nothing to hide the bloodlust there.
"Just roll over like your mentor and cark it already, funny man." he snarled.
Simultaneously Haymitch and I bristled. Not many people in the Capitol believed that I had really died at the end of the forty-eighth Hunger Games. Those who did know were friends of mine or the surgeons who brought me back to life. It was a touchy subject that I wanted as few people to know about as possible. Apparently though, some people in the Districts had put two and two together. Suffocation followed by sudden stillness equals death.
Haymitch leapt to his feet like lightning and analyzed his opponent coldly before attacking. It was obvious he was trying to pull out the branch from his opponents midsection but he was having a hard time getting close enough. The Career was almost as good with that knife as Haymitch had been.
Catching him in the jaw with an elbow, the Career knocked Haymitch to the ground, and quickly pinned his arms. Haymitch tried to throw the Career off several different ways until the Bowie knife came to rest firmly against his throat. For the briefest moment I could see Haymitch thinking about how I had nearly died the same way two years ago. Pinned by a Career and so beyond hope of turning the tables.
That's when the Career convulsed and slumped over to the ground.
A cannon announced the Careers death as Haymitch scrambled a few feet from the body. A small dart sticking out of his shoulder blade. The cameras cut to Maysilee Donnor. She held a blowgun at the ready as she emerged from the foliage.
"We'd live longer with two of us." Maysilee said in a way that made me sure they had talked about this before.
Haymitch rubs his neck, blushing slightly, "Guess you just proved that. Allies?"
Maysilee's face breaks out into a brief genuine smile as she nods, "Otherwise I'd have to kill you."
They both laugh quietly as they gather their weapons and some extra supplies from the dead Careers before leaving the area. Haymitch was leading the way toward whatever he was searching for. Even though he was being cryptic, Maysilee decided to follow him in his quest for the time being and though she wasn't happy about Haymitch keeping something from her, decided it was best to leave it be for the day. Caesar and Claudius signed off and the footage ended.
I stood there in front of the blank tv for a whole five minutes before someone broke the silence.
"Well, it looks like we're still in the game." Alvis said from somewhere behind me.
I walked away to shower and change knowing that the Games had just taken a turn. For better of worse though I had no idea.
Philippa: Ironically this is the chapter I'd been planning on Maysilee coming back in. Wish granted!
IMPORTANT! I wrote a one-shot of when Haymitch and Titania first meet in the Seam. If you are interested, please read it! The title is 'They Story of How We Met'. I know, how original, but it fit really well.