I do not own Attack on Titan

My favorite unit that we did was horseback riding. In Grastari's history, we had been horse traders. We knew the language of the horse. I never learned the secret to horses because I was just a baby when my clan was raided.

Before I could walk, there was a terrible food shortage, and the village near the Grastari encampment stole what they could from the gypsies. In the process, my clan was slaughtered overnight.

Mama told me my rightful mother carried me by horseback all the way to the Sindhi clan, bleeding to death. Just as Mama brought her into her caravan, my rightful mother left the world of the living. And then with the disease spreading around several years back from all the dead bodies the Titans left behind, my Mama was taken too.

The series of events that had occurred since the fall of Wall Maria had affected the gypsy clans significantly. Our numbers were quickly decreasing with the limited land we could roam. The operation to take back Wall Maria wiped out several of our clans, destroying an entire way of life. Ordinary peasants, farmers, and gypsies were sacrificed to lessen the burden of food shortages on the rest of the population.

That's why I didn't believe in the earth energy. If it were real, our numbers wouldn't have dwindled so easily.

Because our group is the least important than anybody, the military made a point to try and get rid of us first. The remaining clans fled into hiding or completely adapted their ways to assimilate into society. Adopting a settled lifestyle of merchant or artisan work prevented some clans from forced expulsion. As long as society found no threat in us, the surviving clans were tolerated.

My adopted family, who belonged to the Sindhi clan, originally practiced the art of song and dance. Our clan's profession of dancing and singing in the streets changed to party entertainment for the upper class citizens. Between event bookings, one of the older clan members worked the herbal stall in the market place while the youth of our clan would dance and sing in the streets for money. It was unnecessary due to the income of the party entertaining, but the elders insisted to hold onto what little tradition we had left.

I wondered sometimes if the Grastari roots in me continued to sing even when the Sindhi suppressed so much of it. It never became apparent until I started horseback riding.

There was something about horseback riding that made my heart race. The way the horse would move, its muscles flowing underneath its skin was beautiful. It was a similar feeling as when I'd manipulate the 3DMG, except it was being able to share that exhilaration with another being.

By the time we were halfway through the horseback riding training, I could ride bareback and perform tricks on the horse's back while in motion. During my spare time, I would bond with the horse I was assigned. Together, I learned to ride backward on her back, which soon turned to bareback, and then finally standing as she walked around the enclosure.

My horse could run faster than any other person's horse. It didn't matter if I switched horses—mine was always the fastest one. Krista once asked me how I did it.

I replied, "Can't you hear the horse's voice? He speaks to you."

I was in the stables one day, brushing my horse. Because our base camp didn't have its own stables, we all packed for a week's stay at a ranch for the horseback riding training. She had a copper coat with a light brown mane. When I'd speak to her, she'd turn her head as if she found it interesting and nuzzle my arm.

"I may not be the greatest at the 3DMG, but I think I'll make it into the top ten," I confessed to her. "I wish that horseback riding skills were part of grading."

Mulberry nickered in response.

"I think my best attribute in 3DMG is my agility. Unlike most cadets, I have less weight to swing around. But at the same time, I don't have the same momentum."

"And you're still using way too much gas," Jean broke in.

He was leaning against the stable doors watching me.

"You just have to manipulate inertia to produce the speed you want with gas as your support."

"What are you doing here Jean?"

He approached his horse which was across the way from mine.

"I have to get my horse cleaned up before the ranch instructor does stable inspection."

I heard him pick up the brush and start brushing his mare. She whinnied and stomped her feet nervously, earning a growl of exasperation from Jean. I stepped over to him and grabbed the arm that was holding the brush.

I said, "She doesn't like that, whatever you're doing."

"But I have to brush her."

Gently, I pulled her face towards mine, letting her long face touch my cheek. Jean watched me curiously as I made soothing sounds. After a while, he diverted his attention elsewhere, my private moment with his horse becoming overwhelming for him.

I said, "She has sensitive shoulder blades. She wants you to avoid brushing hard there."

"How do you know that?"

"She told me," I answered wryly. "Can't you hear her speaking?"

He paused, straining to find noise in the air. "No."

Jean started brushing her again, and his mare became agitated again.

"No," I chided. "She wants the brush to feel like a massage."

I put my hand on top of Jean's, and guided his movements. His had felt warm and strong underneath my fingers. Jean allowed me to move the brush how I thought the mare wanted. The mare settled down and made an occasional snort of approval. The bristles made long, mild sweeps across her side and over her back.

While we brushed his horse together, he gave me a fond look I'd never seen before. In the dim light, I realized how his eyes had flecks of yellow. His shirt smelled of the woods and masculinity. In the back of my mind, it registered that we were very close.

When Jean looked away to focus on brushing his mare, it felt like I was rudely awakened from a pleasant dream. I became conscious that my hand still held his, and I recoiled.

"Looks like she's calmed down," I commented, moving away.

He muttered agreement, and I returned to Mulberry's stall to finish brushing her. My mind was replaying everything that happened. Jean's warm hand. Jean's eyes. Jean's lips. We could have kissed. It sent a shock of excitement through my body, thinking about what it'd be like to kiss Jean—feeling his mouth work against mine in an intimate, borderline scandalous manner. Just visualizing it made my cheeks redden.

But then I remembered he liked Mikasa. Just the thought of that fact brought me back down from cloud nine, and produced doubt in my feelings. I just got caught up in the moment. He was probably admiring my affinity with horses than thinking about kissing me.

Though it stung, I wasn't going to let my personal feelings undermine our friendship. Even if he didn't like me, he was still a wonderful friend. I could be happy with him as just as a companion.

I bid him goodbye, walking out of the stables.

Jean called out, "Hey Naomi."

"Hm?"

"Maybe sometime… I can help you out with your 3DMG." When I didn't answer right away he quickly added, "'Cause that stuff is real important to know."

I grinned back at him. "Sure. I'd like that."

Spring raced by and before I realized what happened, it was winter of my second year in military training. I never heard a peep out of my brothers, but the occasional note left on my cot and sporadic thieving from the food pantry in the camp reminded me of their presence.

The drill staff would scratch their heads, recounting the stock whenever they found an odd number amongst the goods. It occurred so infrequently that the cook would blow it off as a supplier's error.

For the entire winter, we packed for a mountain camp. The buildings were more equipped for cold weather with heaters installed in every building. That winter was particularly cold. To prepare us for our big assessment the following year, we were herded out into the cold to do drills. Daylight would light up from behind the grey clouds, a faint indicator of the time of day.

Snow fell constantly. At first, it would come down in soft tufts like cotton, and then it became a steady beating of snowflakes. Weeks later, it was a complete whiteout. It became so bad that drills ceased. We had to connect buildings with rope so no one would get lost in the howls of the wind and snow.

In the main lodge, the hearth roared with hearty flames. All the cadets were having dinner. Sitting at one long table, all my fellow cadet friends were making merry. The turbulent wind outside shook the eaves faintly as we chattered and laughed.

Reiner was busy trying to best Ymir at arm wrestling while Eren judged. Armin, Bertolt, and Marco were busy discussing classes and hardly noticed Sasha stealing crumbs from their plates. Connie and Jean were caught up in some debate that soon became heated. All conversations momentarily paused with the slam of limbs against the table at Ymir's crow of pride, and quickly resumed in no time with Reiner demanding a round two.

I sat beside Mikasa, relishing in the warmth of companionship I saw among us. Krista, Mikasa, Annie and I were discussing fashion and beauty secrets, but I mostly watched everybody interacting. Annie didn't seem very interested in fashion either and contented herself with people watching a well.

"Cadets!" the cook hollered. "Instructor Shadis warns to stay in the barracks for the night and not come out unless it's necessary. Right now, the blizzard has let up, but we expect it to get worse as the night wears on. Now's the chance to return to your barracks."

Many of the cadets chose to end their dinnertime after he said that. Soon, it became just the thirteen of us and a few other cadets I didn't know very well.

"If you use a cube of ice on the skin under your eyes in the morning, I heard it reduces puffiness," Krista said.

"Really? I didn't know that." Mikasa answered.

"We probably should start heading out," Annie suggested. "It looks like the blizzard is picking up again."

No one at the table seemed to have heard her. Annie's voice was pretty monotone, and it didn't carry very far, so I wasn't surprised anyone heard her over Reiner and Ymir's grunting. Seeing no one responding to her, she got up and was going to put her dishes away.

I said, "Wait for me, Annie. I think I want to hit the sack as well."

After I'd put my dirty dishes away, we made our way to the door, pulling our fur-lined hoods over our heads and zipping up our parkas. A loud thump echoed through the hall, coming from the back door.

We all stopped, puzzled at who could be knocking. A cadet closest to the door strode to open it. Like a hungry beast, the wind gushed through the crack in the door, extinguishing the heat waves emitting from the fire.

Over the howling of the wind I heard Dezzy's voice plead, "Help us."