Chapter 10

I ran.

I ran as hard and as fast as I could. Following his trail, I searched for Jasper.

Finally, I caught his scent. It got stronger and started to intermingle with a human. I stopped in a clearing where I saw them.

It was too late.

I walked to Jasper slowly, letting him now I was there without startling him. It was at that moment that everyone else showed up.

I crouched in front of Jasper and studied the girl. She was still alive. He must have just sunk his teeth into her neck.

"Jasper," I said gently. "Honey, you need to look at me."

His gaze moved to me as he drank.

"You don't want to do this, Jasper. You don't want to drain this girl."

His teeth sunk more into the soft flesh.

I held my breath as trickles of blood slid down her slender neck. "Jasper, I know her blood smells sweet but you don't want to do this. You don't want the monster to win. You don't want to feel the guilt and pain over this."

I could feel everyone getting agitated behind me.

"Jasper," I started, "you need to remember she has a family. She has people who love her. Parents, friends, brothers or sisters. You don't want to take her away from that. Not the way you were taken from me.

"All you have to do is let go."

Jasper pulled away and the girl collasped under him. Quickly, I picked up the girl. "Adam!" I called.

He darted to my side and took the girl from me.

"How is she?" Esme asked.

"She's alive." Adam said. "But barely. She's lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to the hospital."

"Venom?" Carlisle asked.

"No."

"Oh, thank God." Esme sighed in relief.

I focused on Jasper. His shirt was ripped, probably from the girl, who tried to fight him off. There was blood on his chin. Most disturbing was the crimson red eyes. I wiped his chin like a mother cleaning her child.

Jasper stared at me in horror. "Oh, God." He whispered. "I'm a monster."

"No, Jasper." I drew him into my arms and held him close. "You are not a monster. You are a man that has had a painful beginning. It's logical to want to feed off your natural food source. We're vampires. It would be strange if we didn't." Adam snorted at that but I ignored him. "Jasper, you are so much stronger than you think you are. You did something that most would find incredible hard. You pulled away. You stopped before her death, or worse, subjected to eternal misery."

He bured his face in my chest, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and pulling me even closer. I stroked his honey blond hair, running my fingers through the soft curls. "The monster within you didn't win, Jasper. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You feel guilt and self-hatred for what you did but I am so proud of you. Not even I had that must self-control to pull away once I tasted the sweet blood."

I rested my chin on his head. "I love you, Jasper. I think you'll do great things."

"Bella," Adam called softly.

I looked at him. He pointed at his watch. We had to go. Gently, I pulled myself away. He didn't let go. "I have to go, Jasper." I whispered. "You have to let me go."

I broke free and stood up.

"No." he croaked. "Don't go. Please, don't go." He grabbed my legs and held on.

I crouched down in front of him and lifted his chin up so I was looking into his red eyes. "Jasper, you don't need me anymore. You need to let me go and move on. Forget that I came back. Go back to the way you were living before."

He shook his head like a misbehaving child. "No, stay. Please, Bella, I need you. I can't forget you. I don't want to. I'm sorry, please forgive me." He begged.

Is it possible for a vampire to go crazy?

As much as I wanted to stay and believe in his pleas, I knew that when he snapped out of whatever state he was in, he would go back to behaving the way he always have. And that was a fate that I was not prepared to deal with.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I can't stay. It's not fair. We both deserve our happiness, and you have already found that. It's my turn." I kissed his forehead, pressing my lips gently against his skin a little longer than was necessary. "I'll always love you, Jasper. But it's time to forget the past. It brings nothing but heartache." I pulled back and looked into his eyes one more time. "You will always be the man that I love. Nothing will ever change that."

JPOV

"You will always be the man that I love. Nothing will ever change that."

She turned her back and left.

My body still hummed from the electricity but it was slowly diminishing until all I felt was numb.

Around me I could feel the emotions of the family. Awe. Surprise. Amazement. Disbelief. Elation. Pride. Love. Large amounts of love was radiating off of Esme. Then there was the others.

Disappointment. Guilt. Jealousy.

It shouldn't have been such a surprise that they were disappointed in me. It was to be expected that they were disappointed. I've screwed up again. I'm a disappointment to myself.

"Jasper, we're not disappointed in you." Edward said, standing in front of me. Where did he come from?

"If not me than what?" I asked.

"We're disappointed that Bella left. You would think this is something she would stay for. But I could understand why she would want to leave."

I didn't have any desire to listen to him explain. I just wanted Bella back. Had I made a mistake? Was picking Alice the wrong thing to do? And why was Bella the one to comfort me? So many questions went through my head as I looked over at Alice.

She was standing away from the family, staring off at something no one else could possibly see. Except Edward. And even he couldn't penetrate her mind when she wanted to keep him out.

Alice looked at me and walked to me slowly. She stopped in front of me and looked down at me with pity and disappointment. I flinched away from it.

So much for Edward's idea.

"Jasper, I'm sorry I didn't see it happen sooner. I could have stopped you before this could happen."

Why did her voice sound so distant?

"It's not your fault, Alice." I said. As I reached up to touch her hand, just to feel the closeness of another, she took a step back. A pang of hurt tugged at me and I looked at her. "What's wrong, Alice?"

"Nothing, Jasper. But you're covered in dirt and blood and I just bought this outfit."

I blinked at her. She was more worried about her outfit than my sanity? What happened to my Alice?

"Oh."

"Jasper, dear." Esme crouched beside me and wrapped her arms around my shoulder. "Why don't we head back to the house? You can wash up and get out of these clothes."

I nodded my head in agreement and stood up.

~*~

After my shower, Esme took my clothes away and burned them. They were stained with blood and ripped to shreds.

I was lying on my bed, staring out the window and wishing Bella was here to hold me. I yearned to feel her body against mine again, to feel her smooth skin against me.

It was while I was having these thoughts that I really began to notice the change in Alice. She was subtly pulling away from me and this was even before Bella came back into my life. Something had changed and she was no longer the Alice that I loved.

What happened? I frowned deep in thought.

EPOV

I headed up to Carlisle's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in, Edward." he called.

I walked inside and closed the door behind me. "What can I do for you, son?" he asked, looking up from the medical book he had open on his desk.

"I need to talk to you about something."

Sensing my urgency, he closed the book. Where's the rest of the family?

"Hunting. But Jasper's here. He's in his room."

Carlisle nodded and waved at me to proceed.

I sat in one of the leather armchairs across from him. "Carlisle, have you noticed something different about Alice?"

He frowned. "I take it you've noticed too?"

I nodded. "She's been keeping me out a lot lately. And to be honest, I'm a little worried. Jasper's mental state isn't in the best place right now and Alice isn't even here to help him sort through it. Today was the first day in a while since I've seen anything. It's worrying me."

"Me too, Edward. But there isn't much we can really do."

"I agree." I sighed and rubbed my temples. "But we can't just do nothing. Even Jasper is starting to notice and now that Bella is gone, he's going to pay more attention to Alice, looking for console. He's going to notice right away that something is wrong."

Carlisle was thoughtful for a minute. "Should we have told Jasper where Bella went?"

"No. It's what Bella wants and I don't think she'd appreciate it if Jasper shows up suddenly."

He chuckled. "That's very true." He grew somber. "We're just going to have to watch Alice. There isn't much else we can do. If things start to change, than we'll just have to talk to her about it."

I nodded my head in agreement. "I'm going to check on Jasper." I stood up and headed towards his room.

Well, that's it. *Bites nails* I'm actually worried about you will all think about Bella leaving Jasper in the condition that he's in. Let me now what you think.

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