He offered to go with her to see Sister Julienne, but she told him that she had to do this on her own. Afterall he had to get to the surgery and still had not done his rounds for the day.
Walking into Nonnatus House felt so strange she suddenly no longer belonged there. It was then in Sister Julienne's office that she finally confessed the reason for her leaving. At the Sanitorium she had told Sister Julienne that she wanted other things but never named them. She could not put it off any longer. She bumbled a bit saying that she never planned it and she had tried to fight it. Finally confused Sister Julienne asked her what it was and she told her love. That she had found love. She was asked with whom and she had to tell her. The biggest confession of her life only took one word ...Doctor. There was a realization in the older woman's eyes perhaps she had seen things that now made sense. Things like her caring for the boy and her defense of the man. She also tried very hard to assure her dear mentor that nothing untoward had ever happened. She explained how it had happened slowly over time and other than once touching her hand he had not shared his true feelings until after she went away. She signed her name and took her ring off her right hand and she was no longer Sister Bernadette. She felt loss and sorrow and excitement all at the same time.
Patrick wanted to see Shelagh again. He knew that she was planning to find a room after she took care of things at Nonnatus House. He told her that she should rest and suggested that she could telephone him later. He was writing some notes at his desk when he looked down at his left hand and realised he could no longer wear his wedding band. Perhaps he should have taken it off some time ago, but it was a protection. If he was thought of as a widower then he would not be seen as a man in love with a woman could not have. He still could not believe that she chose to give up her life for him. He felt like the luckiest man alive.
Shelagh found a room quickly and had to admit she was very tired. Not only had her day been emotional, but she was still recovering from TB. She lay on her bed and thought about Patrick. She did not know what to expect next. Even she had told Chummy that in a relationship between a man and woman, there will eventually be flirtatious behavior that falls outside the realm of gentlemanly conduct. She never dreamed that she would ever encounter such a situation and now she was frightened. Still Patrick was such a gentle man. Still he was still a man and he had been alone for a long time. She could feel her cheeks getting red just thinking these things.
She did not see Patrick again that day. She had called him and it was then that she learned about Chummy and her hemorrhage. She felt sad because she wanted to be with her family at Nonnatus, but felt she no longer belonged. She stayed in her room alone.
Sister Julienne said her journey would not be an easy one and she was right. Everyone in Poplar knew her and Patrick so it was difficult to see each other without drawing attention to themselves. For the first ten days she was back in Poplar, she spent most of it alone. She had not even seen Patrick, but a few times. It was Patrick that convinced her that she needed to go to the Christening for Chummy's baby boy. He made her agree to met him in the parish hall first and they would go together.