I don't own PJO.

CHAPTER 10

I'm packing in my cabin, Jean sitting at the foot of my bed. It's only been a few hours since the meeting was dismissed, but Aaron is still talking to Chiron.

I fill up a small bag with the essentials. A wad of mortal money, some ambrosia, a bottle of nectar and a bottle of water. A change of clothes, a knife, a pouch of drachmas. I'm considering packing my armor, holding the old leather pieces in my arms, thinking.

"That's garbage." Jean gets up and takes the armor from my arms.

"Hey!" I try and make a grab for it but Jean, surprisingly nimble at the moment, keeps it out of my reach. "That's my only armor."

"And it looks like a rotting carcass and is probably just as useful." Jean takes the armor to the bathroom and dumps it in the trash can. "Charlie was showing me some designs for amor and I thought of you. Maybe I'll ask him to make you some. It'll be ready by the battle."

"What battle?" I ask.

"The siege of the factory... Do you really think three people can pull off a siege?"

"No. No, I suppose not." I rub my neck and sit on the edge of the bed. Jean sits next to me, breathing quietly. "Hey," I ask. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

I bump my shoulder against him. He smiles slightly, but his face is heavy.

` "Aren't you scared? He asks.

"Sure, but..." I shrug. "I don't know."

"What?"

"Nothing, I just." I think. "I just feel it differently than you."

"How is it different?" He raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know."

"Aspasia, don't lie."

"I'm not lying!"

"You can tell me, it's okay."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Is it about Aaron?" He takes my hand in such Jean-like kindness that it makes me wanna punch him. "It's okay if it's about him."

"It's not." I pull my hand from his. But my voice goes up an octave. Jean can't suppress the glimmer of satisfaction but he puts on his worried face over it.

"Why are you scared about Aaron?"

"I'm not, I-" I breath heavily. "I just, I'm not-"

"What?"

"I'm scared for him!" I shout finally, my face hot. I leap to my feet, gasping for breath. "I'm scared that he'll get hurt and I won't be there to protect him and I'll never be able to live with that, ever, not for my entire life, because Aaron is so much better than I am, he's truly better, and I'm so afraid that he'll be gone and the world will be left with me."

"Aspasia." Jean murmurs wondrously.

"What?" But I see it. My hands are glowing silver, pulsating with my heartbeat. I gasp and lose myself in the heavenly glow.

"That's incredible." Jean murmurs, speaking so fast I can't understand it. "I remember that, I do. From Chaos' palace, that time, that light that shot form you, I remember. Magic, it has to be magic. Gods, that's beautiful."

I raise one hand up, holding my palm out. I think about my fear, I picture Aaron dying and I'm the only one to blame for it. I see that and I put that fear in the palm of my hands.

An orb the size of a dinner plate shoots from my palm, destroying a whole row of bunks. It bounces off the wall and I duck as it shoots back over my head. Jean hits the deck and my eyes follow the glowing orb as it slowly fades away.

"I think," I say. "That I found a way to use this."

Jean smiles and nods. We talk for a little bit, him giving me advice about harnessing my power and me making several other attempts to do so. After a while, he goes to his own Cabin to pack and think and I let him, feeling a little bad as a friend that I let him go and I haven't helped him at all. It's getting late, Aaron probably isn't coming to talk. So I shower, lay down, and force myself to sleep.

Of course, dreams hit me as soon as my eyes close.