Note to the Reader: Come away with us on a grand adventure as the Doctor tries to get to the bottom of the mysterious Peruclian Key. You might really like it. It's a whole new version of the Doctor, but you will still find many of the things you love about Doctor Who here in this alternate universe.
The Peruclian Key
Chapter 10/'Calico Jack'
By Johanna J. with MARVELOUS inspiration from Matt J. ~my son!
The TARDIS computers beeped and hummed as it ran an analysis of the pendant Avery wore containing a mysterious, swirling galaxy. If he didn't know better, Avery would have thought the TARDIS was making happy noises. Soon, a stream of paper came sputtering out of a slot apparently made just for long streams of paper; but it was spat out with much fanfare accompanied by a lot of hissing, sparking, and smoking. He was apparently mistaken about the 'happy noises'. With all of that, the paper caught fire on it's way into the Doctor's impatient hands.
"Bloody hell! I've got to fix that!" said the Doctor distractedly as she snatched it up before a single line could completely burn up. After a tiny moment of dithering, she simply put the flames out by clapping the report between her bare hands. She gave no indication that she'd been scorched. She paced as she read the results. Avery could see more of the same strange symbols printed on the paper that he'd seen earlier in the TARDIS console, it was completely alien to him. The Doctor had no trouble reading it whatsoever, however; what she read seemed to intrigue her even more-if the speed at which she was now pacing was any indication.
"What does it say?" asked Suzy Q and Avery at the same time.
"Not enough." she muttered. The Doctor seemed momentarily nonplussed as she realized she was not alone in her TARDIS. She paused in her pacing long enough to stuff the report in her jacket pocket before pacing some more around the centre console. She came to stand in front of the frozen image of the Collector; she stared up at him as if she could divine answers to questions she hadn't thought to ask just yet, simply with the power of her gaze. Avery and Suzy Q could only watch her and wonder just where her head was at. Given all that he'd learned about the Doctor-which was precious little really, Avery would bet her head was in a thousand places all at once.
Out popped the pendant from the analyzing slot with such force that it sailed clear across the room. Even though her back was turned, the Doctor caught it firmly with one hand; her left arm snapped up for the catch almost as if it had a mind of its own. She tore her gaze away from the image of the Collector and held the pendant up to the light. It swirled and glittered within the confines of its diamond casing. Of course, being a galaxy, it was oblivious to the keen scrutiny it was now under. She took out her spectacles from her jacket pocket and slipped them on for a better look yet again. She stared at it for several minutes before handing it back to Avery without a word.
He slipped it back on his neck and Suzy Q helped to fasten the clasp. Avery was quite relieved to have it around his neck again, but he couldn't quite say why. He remembered the Doctor telling him that "it needs to be near a beating heart." Looking at it swirl about, he had no trouble believing it. He couldn't help wondering though, if his days of carrying it were numbered somehow as he gazed past it to see the Collector's image still frozen in place; a shiver crawled up his spine.
The Doctor had been watching Avery out of the corner of her eye during all her musings and ponderings and she caught the shiver. He was learning the value of what he was carrying, and this was a good thing in her opinion. Despite all the frightening things that had happened to him, he never once asked someone else to take the responsibility from him. She had learned a few curious things about the piece as well; but they were things she would keep to herself for the moment. She always preferred to know all the facts of a thing before she discussed the whole of it.
"Right, time to play dress-up!" announced the Doctor.
"Um, why?"" asked a dumbfounded Avery. It was the last thing he expected her to say.
"Dress-up? Ooooh! I love to play dress-up!" squealed Suzy Q. "What are we going to dress up as?"
"I've got to go see a pirate about pirates!" said the Doctor with a slight frown. "We need to go back to the wardrobe room if I want to be taken seriously. They have quite the fashion sense." she stated. "But you wouldn't know it to look at them!" she muttered under her breath.
The Doctor and two new friends went into the wardrobe room, but three pirates came out of it. The Doctor simply slipped on a black brocade pirate coat with brass buttons and then donned a pair of kid-leather gloves. She then chose a brown pirate hat that actually stayed on her head as opposed to bouncing off her curly head into some odd dimension of space. It had one ostrich feather and two peacock feathers jutting elegantly upright. Somehow it all went perfectly with her modern-day outfit. She stalked out as soon as she had assembled her outfit.
Meanwhile, Avery chose a whole new outfit with pale creamy white breeches, black boots, a tan lace-up shirt and a black scarf for his head. He slipped an eye patch on to be thorough on the matter, but he couldn't find any gloves to fit. He looked around for spare swords, but none were to be had in the Doctor's wardrobe it seemed.
Suzy Q was somewhat unclear on the whole notion of pirates and came out looking more like a tourist until he saw Avery. Then he promptly grew out his hair into a lovely golden mane along with a proper-but delicate beard. He turned one of his hands into a hook and chose a very debonair kind of outfit of green breeches, tall black boots with silver buckles, and a white lace-up linen shirt with a gold sash at the waist. He chose a wide-brimmed hat with long white and brown feathers, but then tossed it aside once he realized it covered up his 'lovely locks'.
"Yeah, you'll have to do." she said after conducting a light inspection of the two young men's choice of pirate wear. She yanked on a large lever and said loudly, "Hang on tight!"
The TARDIS engines roared to life. Avery clung to the railing while Suzy Q latched on to a support column again. The Doctor continued to operate various levers and switches, all the while hanging on to the console. This time, the TARDIS pitched and rolled mildly for several seconds before coming to a halt. However; whatever was going on outside the TARDIS door sounded anything but mild. Shouts, smacks, and thumps could be heard outside the doors along with the distinct clanging of swords.
"Let me do all the talking and don't wander off!" warned the Doctor. "These are PIRATES; can't have you going off the plank right after you get here." she said as she swung the door wide open and marched out into darkness. "Especially you, Avery. Calico Jack is not the kind of man you want to tick off."
The newly attired trio walked out from behind a set of deck quarters right into chaos. Men of all shapes and sizes-to include a few aliens, were heavily engaged in a brawl that seemed to encompass the entire deck of the ship. Fists and swords were flying wildly about. Avery could hear the sound of bones crunching under the impact of fists and he swore he saw teeth flying. Indeed, he accidentally stepped on one man's hand as he was trying to pick up his wayward tooth. The Doctor strode deliberately right through them all as if she were simply marching through her TARDIS corridors. Avery thought it best to stick as close as possible to her. Suzy Q followed suit. She was making her way toward a large, dark-skinned giant of a man who was in the midst of knocking another man's lights out, then the Doctor simply stood there with her arms crossed and waited.
One pudgy man caught sight of her and dropped his sword, the other man took the opportunity to punch him squarely in the jaw. However; the pudgy man had set a precedent: one by one, they dropped their various weapons, stopped their brawling and stared at the woman who dared to walk into their midst. Silence spread across the deck like a virus. Various jaws hung open as they gawked at the intrepid trio. Finally, the large dark-skinned man slowly stood up from the man he was endeavoring to pummel into the ship's deck and turned around. When he saw her, he sauntered over without a word. He towered above her, but she didn't budge. The others began to close in on them out of a sense of morbid curiosity and Avery bumped up clumsily against her back as did Suzy Q. Still, she didn't move. Avery, on the other hand, couldn't take his eyes off the menacing men encroaching on their little circle. Some had patches, many had missing teeth, several had over-exuberant hair in places hair shouldn't have been, a few of them had scars that left one wondering how the heck they'd gotten them, but they all looked big and strong. Not a single one of them looked as if they'd missed a meal either. The large man held up a hand and the entire crowd froze in place to include Avery's heart. The man circled around the Doctor and her partners in crime much like a shark deciding which toe to start in on first. He never took his eyes off the Doctor as she stood there undaunted. She never took her eyes off of him either.
Avery saw that he had a bionic eye of sorts, it made a whirring sound as it inspected the Doctor. The other eye was a brilliant gold and seemed to see straight through a brick. He also had a metallic hand that whirred and clicked every few seconds. His clothing was torn from fighting, but they retained a sort of regal splendor. The buckles and chains on his boots jangled ominously with each step. Avery held his breath and backed up even closer to the Doctor and Suzy Q. He then came back to stand in front of the Doctor.
"You have changed. .. considerably." he said with a deep, sonorous voice.
"YOU certainly have not! You're just as smelly as ever!" she said as she stood up on her tippy toes, but it didn't have quite the impact the old version of her would have. The Doctor vowed that she'd have to find a much better way to look intimidating. Then she had the audacity to jab him in the chest with her finger. Suzy Q nearly fainted dead away from the equivalent of holding his mechanical breath.
"You old dog! I recognize those tired old eyes of yours anywhere!" he nearly shouted. Then the man burst out laughing, it sounded like thunder. He bent down to scoop her up in an embrace that took her completely off her feet. "Everybody thinks you're dead."
"Oh bother! Avery, Suzy Q, meet Calico Jack." she muttered from her mid-air perch. "Put me down already, you old scallywag! You would never have been able to do that with the old me, so don't start now!"
With a toothy grin, Calico Jack set the irritated Doctor down. To Avery, it seemed that the crowd of pirates around them let out a collective sigh of relief, or had that been just him loudly letting out his own sigh of relief? His relief was rather short-lived though, because Calico Jack then asked, "Gor Blimey! Did you bring this pair of dandies for me? Where are the Jaimies?"
"Long story. These two are with me for now-you know I only take the best." she jabbed him again.
"Hmph, bloody hell! Look at 'em though. Their mothers must have smacked all the ugly out of them! These pretty boys wouldn't do for pirates at all." he said as he clapped Avery and Suzy Q on their backs. Avery had the breath knocked clean out of him and Suzy Q was sent careening into a pair of particularly hairy, burly men who then eagerly swung him back at Calico Jack. There came a raucous chorus of laughter all around them.
"Stupid question for you: is he human or giant?!" he hissed to Avery who was still trying to catch his breath.
"Neither." said the Doctor pointedly. Avery took the opportunity of catching his breath to lean over and peer over the railing only to see they weren't on any ordinary pirate ship, this one was sailing through space. He didn't care about the how of it, because it was just plain cool. Another ship that looked an awful lot like another pirate ship was off to the side and it was listing heavily on its port side.
"Carry on, lads. I want that ship!" said Calico Jack with a wave of his hand as he escorted the Doctor, Avery, and Suzy Q to his quarters. The melee resumed with fists flying high and with many of the 'lads' being tossed overboard.
Calico Jack's quarters were quite refined for a pirate. There were two large lead-paned windows that opposed one another; each with a view of space and the surrounding deck. Two energetic brawlers rolled and tumbled by with shouts and curses as they yanked one another's beards. Avery supposed every pirate captain had maps stuffed into every corner and plenty of quality whisky; but Calico Jack liked books and had a large library with more books than maps. Avery wandered around and perused the many titles. Most were in languages he didn't understand; but to his surprise were a few Earth classics such as War and Peace, A Tale of Two Cities, and Romeo and Juliet. Suzy Q quietly sat in a chair near a window taking in every sight and sound; albeit a safe distance away from Calico Jack's clapping hands. Avery saw the android's fingers twitching though, and figured Suzy Q was dying to get at Calico Jack's telescope.
"Did you bring me anything?" asked Calico Jack with a wink. Avery was surprised thunder hadn't attached itself to each and every word in his query. The Doctor sighed and brought out a book-sized parcel from inside her pirate coat and slapped it down on his desk.
"The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien, first edition. Now your collection is complete. You owe me though-for that whole 'first edition' bit!"
Calico laughed heartily as he clutched the book to his massive chest before setting it carefully down on his mahogany desk. The desk was as solid and large as the man. "I am a happy man now. So then, what brings you across the universe to my humble abode, Doctor?"
"Have you seen anything like this?" She brought out the 'dirty pyramid'. Avery was beginning to wonder if she packed a spare TARDIS in her coat as well. "I don't recognize these symbols-and that's saying a lot. You know how I like to have the gen. Careful, this is a nasty little bugger-spent of course."
Calico Jack held it up to the light of a chandelier and inspected it with his one natural eye. It didn't look nearly as intimidating in his massive hands. He took a gold-rimmed monocle from his desk and studied it. He turned it all about before he shook his head in puzzlement.
"Calico, you've always had your finger on the pirate pulse of the universe, have you heard or seen anything remotely untoward?"
He laughed softly, "We're pirates Doctor; there is always something untoward going on! Fine, but only because it's you doing the asking." he said with a slight smile. He sighed, "There have been rumors of black ships with red banners sailing way over near the Widdian quadrant. Now, I've not seen them, but folks are sayin' wherever they go, entire planets go dark somehow. No one ever hears anything from them afterwards."
"Are they pirates then?"
"Not like any I've seen. Our goings on are mostly with each other. I've no need to take a planet." Calico Jack replied. "I did come across a couple of strange fellows though, they were making some odd inquires too. Come to think of it, they were dressed all in black robes with blood-red hoods and sashes, they kept their faces hidden. I didn't trust them and told 'em so. I don't do business with dodgy folks who don't show their faces." He scratched his head and set the tiny pyramid down. "I didn't really put that all together till just now! They were askin' about something else too. Blimey! What the devil was it? Oi, it was something called . .. hang on, let me think. .. "
"The Peruclian Key?" queried the Doctor,