So there's one little scene that happens in the anime that didn't quite make it in here, but it won't effect anything. I hope you'll all forgive me. I just wrote, and that part didn't happen. No faces sticking through walls here. Anyway, I've been in a rather good mood lately. It's actually kind of weird. I wonder if it's because I'm sleeping well, or maybe it's because this story has been getting so much love. It's probably a little of both. That may be part of the reason I was so eager to work on this chapter. Well, let's get to it then! Enjoy!
I quickly screw the cap back on and slip it into the inside pocket of my jacket. For a second, I watch the water begin to boil. Then I turn and ask, "What're you making?"
"Macaroni." Jiro lifts a box off the counter to show me its front as she pours broccoli into another pot to be steamed. The girls have taken turns every night cooking dinner upon common agreement, I myself being the only exception. I've never cooked a day in my life, and I have no desire to learn. The only boy I've seen cooking for other people would be Sato, that guy who likes to bake. His reasoning was something along the lines of expanding his horizons. I don't really know if I believe him when he says it's not already a hobby of his, considering the one meal he's made since I came was the best out of all of them. I don't particularly consider myself a picky eater, but I would take his cooking over anyone else's any day.
"Does that work?"
"Hm?" I break from my reminiscing and give her a vague, "Yeah, sure, sounds good."
"Well don't ruin your meal with candy," she chides, eyeing the sucker in my mouth. I avert my eyes and notice Midoriya entering the kitchen, lugging a bursting trash bag at his side.
"Um, Jiro, shouldn't I be preparing the meal?" he wonders. "You know, since Kacchan and I are supposed to take care of work in the dorms."
She shrugs him off, shooing me out of the way to pour the noodles in the boiling water. "Don't worry about it. Some of us enjoy making food."
The freckled boy wilts. "But it feels like I need to have stuff to do! I'm missing so much in school already, so all I can do is do my best around here."
"The teachers are punishing you, not us," the girl grins. Then, to prevent him from continuing to argue, she plugs her earjack into her phone and begins humming along to some song. Dejected, Midoriya sighs and hefts the bag over his shoulder. When he nods to me and exits the kitchen, I pop my sucker out of my mouth and move after him. I catch up to him when he's shoving open the entrance with an awkwardly placed hand. Before he can open it entirely, I slip up beside him and push it the rest of the way. When he looks up questioningly, I drop the remainder of my sucker in the small opening of his bag.
"Thanks."
I follow him out, the door drifting shut behind us.
He pauses. "You don't need to come with."
A packet of smokes come out of my pocket and I put one to my lips, flicking on a lighter. "I can't exactly do this inside."
"Ah." He falls silent as we walk, thinking. Then he asks, "What if a teacher sees you?"
"I either risk it or smoke inside." I breathe out a stream of smoke, savoring the pungent weight in my mouth and lungs. I haven't been able to smoke very much since coming to this school, and it's been driving me insane.
"Why don't you stop smoking? It's bad for you."
I scoff and hold the cigarette out to him. "Clearly you've never smoked before. Try a few of these, and you'll start needing them constantly to stay sane."
He eyes the offered cancer stick with a vague look that seems to suggest the word gross, with maybe a hint of fear on the side. It's no surprise when he shakes his head. I return it to my lips and suck in a lungful of addictive smoke.
"So," I start, "you're friends with Shouto, right?"
"Yes, I am! Ah, are you finally trying to fix things between the two of you?"
The air presses around me oppressively with the weight of his beaming aura. I take a long drag of tobacco before replying, "I told you, there aren't really things to fix. I'm just curious as to what he's been doing while we were apart."
"Well, I've only known him since the beginning of the school year" he begins, seemingly all too glad to divulge, "but I like to think we've become good friends. He was a little aloof before the sports festival, but ever since, he's really been opening up, I think. He's a good guy."
"That was the first time I've ever seen him use his fire," I comment, glancing sidelong at the boy beside me.
"Ah, well…" He mirrors my glance. "...How much do you know about that?"
"His fire? I know that, until the festival, he's avoided using it because it's from his god-awful father. He wanted to become a hero without using it so he could throw his achievement in that bastard's face in a way that Endeavor couldn't take any credit."
"I guess you would know that," Midoriya nods. He turns his head away, staring off into space as he talks as if, as he speaks, the scene is coming back together before him. "I actually talked with him before our fight." He snickers. "It was kind of his declaration of war. He told me about Endeavor, though. I could never get where he's coming from, but I really didn't think that his dad, no matter how bad he's been to Todoroki, should get in the way of his dream. Especially if he went through that as a child, I think he deserves to achieve his goals. Don't you? So during our fight, I tried to make him realize that: that his quirk had nothing to do with his dad. His quirk is amazing! Even more so because he knows how to use it! It's his to do what he wants with, so he should use it, right?"
I roll the cigarette between my fingers. "So you're the reason he started using it."
"If that's the case, then I'd be glad. I really think he's gotten happier since he stopped avoiding half of himself."
My fingers fumble and I'm forced to let the still-burning stick fall to the ground. Midoriya looks back to me, slightly concerned. I don't give him any further indication of my turbulence, taking out and lighting a second cigarette. If that's true, if Shouto really is happy, that's good. Avoiding half of himself...I never thought to put it that way. I've never thought he wasn't whole. His flames were the same as his father's, and neither one of us wanted such a stain in our lives, but does that mean...I encouraged it? I encouraged him to suppress himself? Even back then...I made him unhappy?
I breathe in deeply, sighing smoke from my nose as I use the tobacco to restrain myself. "So the two of you are pretty close, then?"
"Yeah." He nods again, this time with life. A bright smile adorns his naive, freckled face.
With this confirmed, I allow myself to move on to more...personal interests. "...Does he say anything about me ever?"
His smile wanes a bit. "Well...sometimes."
"So not the best of things," I deduce. I drag a hand through my bangs, the bloody design on my palm flashing briefly in my vision, and smile wryly. "Figures."
"He cares about you, though," he rushes to assure me. "His eyes are always following you. I think he worries about you a lot."
A pang in my heart surfaces the grimace I'd been trying to suppress. Worry. The only thing that gets him to turn his head my way is worry. I guess if that's the case, I'm on the right track to monopolize his attention.
"What about you?" I change the subject. "And our classmates? What do you all say about me?"
He scratches his cheek lightly with his free hand. "We're all pretty curious about your quirk, I guess. You haven't said anything about it, and we haven't ever seen you use it."
"What about your quirk?" I shoot back.
"What about it?"
"Is it just super strength? I mean, it's pretty handy, but it's also pretty simple."
"That's pretty much all it is. Even if it is simple, though, I'm still working on being able to control it. It'll be much more useful once I have full control over it."
Oh yeah, his quirk is fairly new, isn't it? "I bet it takes a lot of concentration to not let it run wild."
"It does. I can't use it if I'm too distracted." He stops to heave the bag into the incinerator we've arrived at. With his focus trained on his work, he misses it when my lips twitch upwards. I regain full control over my expression by the time he turns back to me. We return to the dorms without any teacher seeing us, and after snuffing my cigarette on the pavement, I throw the butt into the bushes to hide the evidence. A couple of the girls try to approach me upon our return, but I shirk around them and lock myself in my room. When then pink girl, Ashido, comes to fetch me for dinner, I dismiss her with an, "I'm not hungry."
I grab my phone off the nightstand and call Dabi. He picks up after a few rings.
"Is there something else you need?"
"Nah." I flip myself onto my bed, head in my pillow and one ankle propped on the other knee. "Just some clarification." Slipping a hand into my jacket, I remove the little bottle, turning it curiously in my grasp. "You said the poison isn't deadly, right?"
"That's what Kurogiri said."
"What did he say the effects were, exactly?"
"He said it would show itself like a cold unless directly injected." Sensing my next question, he continues, "It causes severe delirium if injected."
"Do you think it would cloud concentration?"
"I didn't ask, but probably. Did you think of something?"
"I've had an idea since I decided to join. I'm just working out the details. In light of that, if things go well, the entire class will be pretty weak within the next few days. If there's something you guys wanna do, just remember Shouto's off limits. Hurt him," I snarl, "and I'll send you all to hell."
"I know."
"Thanks again for your help." I smack a sarcastic kiss into the receiver and hang up. For the moments after, I stare at the ceiling and revel in my plans. Then something occurs to me and I frown. The house visit tomorrow. I won't be here for dinner. How do I use the poison, then?
Grumbling, I roll onto my side. I'll either have to find a way to use the poison despite that, lengthen the time until I implement the plan, or get my hands on a syringe. There are plenty of druggies on the streets that I could easily steal a needle from, but it's probably safe to assume a heavy dosage of the poison could have lasting effects. I'd rather not do more harm than I have to. If it's necessary, though…
I raise my hands, inspecting my palms. If people have to suffer because of me, so be it. Since the day I was born, I was fated to cause people pain.
But…
My hands drop. I'm being sentimental. Even if I like some of these classmates, it can't be helped. Besides, all of them have something annoying about them. Uraraka's too bubbly, Asui's too observant, Yaoyorozu's too well-mannered, Midoriya's too… My eyebrows furrow, perplexed. Surely there's something annoying about Midoriya. There has to be! Maybe...maybe he's too innocent? But somehow it's not really annoying with him.
He's too perfect. That's it.
It seems such a superfluous reason, even to me, but I stick to it as I continue down the list of classmates, checking off an obvious flaw I detest in each and every one of them. I run down the list until there's only one name left, and that one, that one I shrink away from. But, stubbornly, I slowly begin to check off the things wrong with him, as well. His list isn't a simple run of words like the traits I stuck to the others. My mind swirls, a sickness beginning to churn in my stomach as I force myself through each admission.
He uses his father's fire
He's cold to me.
He sees me the same as everyone else.
He...doesn't care anymore.
Despite what Midoriya claims, it's clear he doesn't. Even if he's watching me, it's because I'm dangerous. It's always because I'm dangerous. Every single person, every time, the only reason they care is because I'm a threat.
The knot in my stomach strains too tight to bear and I yank myself off the bed and grab a bottle of sleep meds hidden beneath my bed. Popping two tablets in my mouth, I swallow them dry and stuff myself under the covers without changing clothes.
I do my best not to think as I wait for the medication to drag me into unconsciousness.
She's really trying hard to keep herself under control, and, I guess, in a way, she's not doing too bad. She isn't exactly using the best methods, though. I would like to talk more, but my brother has been pestering me for the past few days to watch Evangelion with him, so I gotta go do that now. Should be interesting. Catch you guys next chapter!