Kai's POV:

XsXsX

On Decisions

XsXsX

'So what's it gonna be then, heh?'

I could hear my grandfathers mocking voice echoing in my mind. That was pretty much what he was asking me with this letter. So what's it gonna be?

XsXsX

I had received his letter in the mail that morning. It was a formal invitation to a charity event. 3rd World Donations Gala. The guests included all the very ignorant and very important people (although the latter definition is rather questionable in my opinion).Tyrannical, capitalistic CEO's trying to replace their demonic image to increase sales. Ridiculous celebrities, imposing an image of pure goodness by making most generous donations, that in reality were only fractions of their true wealth.

Sounded like most lovable company, didn't it? You're probably asking yourself what that all had to do with me. Well, here's the reasoning behind it: Many of Biovolt's potential clients attend those events. It's like going shopping. The large companies advertise their product and the smaller companies pick the one that fulfils their needs and, most important, makes them the most cost-efficient offer. Biovolt is a luxury company. It is actually one of those 'shopping' for raw materials, but Grandfather prefers to refer to those as clients, even though he is the one buying. The fact that the word 'client' indicates something inferior pleases him. Grandfather likes the feeling of being in demand of an audience by other CEO's. He finds it amusing to watch them striving for a deal, going below their planned rates. He likes to donate multiple thousand Dollars during Charity Events and then set the million dollar rates of his clients with a precision to the value before the third 0. Back before I left, he used to bring me along a few times. Partially to falsify his image to appear as a family man. But mostly for me to learn his ways, so that in a near future, I would be able to imitate these and prove myself useful for his business. Now this letter, that was an invitation to the '3rd World Donations Gala' (note the ignorant expression used to describe the undeveloped countries), it was pretty much an invitation to return back to my old life, -conditions still to be discussed.

So what's it gonna be then, heh?

Money and power or this petty, pointless life I had been living for the last couple of years. Of course I would have loved for things to return back to the ways they were, the times were better back then. I may not ever have been extremely happy but on the contrary, I was never extremely sad either. Life was good. Now everything was different. There were a great deal of moments in which I was really enjoying myself, but mostly there were melancholies. The only thing that held me back from immediately calling up my grandfather was the dimension of my own damn pride.

He knew it. He knew everything. He knew of my pride and he knew of my shitty situation (obviously he did, he must have bribed someone of the Russian Emigration Office to find out my address. And his comment 'dress appropriately' together with the parcel containing an 'Armani' Suit he sent me suggested that he had some Private Investigator on me. By the way, the thought of him disagreeing with my dressing sense quite pleased me). So I was kinda discussing my options with myself. It would be nice to get my old life back. It would be nice to stop worrying about money and work. Besides, I know this may sound strange but I did miss my grandfather. Yes he was an arrogant, cocky control-freak but he was also my grandfather. The man who had brought be up. I did hate him for some things he had done, but if a person has been around you for so long and you have shared so many experiences with him, it gets quite difficult, to not love him in a sense. I suppose our relationship is too complex to decide on love or hate. I'm not a mushy person, so I can't really put it into words. It's just, …complex alright.

So you're probably asking yourself why I didn't bluntly decide to go, well there is this one factor that I had mentioned earlier, that cannot be ignored that easily. That one is my pride. And yes I know, it's silly, but somehow I wanted to prove to him that I could manage without him.

I felt I needed some advise in the matter. I decided to discuss it with Hiro at school. I was hoping to do it first thing in the morning before the teacher entered the class, however Hiro spent the entire time describing to me exactly how horny he was and how much he'd like to fuck Max at that moment. We had a double lesson of English and the masochistic teacher decided to not give us a break in between. So no chance of a talk there. I planned to discuss the matter with him on the way to our next class, however the teacher held me back.

'Kai, I would like to have a talk with you.'

I couldn't really say no then, could I!

'Okay.'

'I'll wait for you outside.' Hiro told me.

But the teacher had other plans: 'No, you go to class, this will take a while.' Something about the teachers voice was quite ominous.

Hiro gave me an apologetic look, mumbled a 'good luck' and then walked out. The teacher waited for a while until his footsteps were only a distant 'thud' sound in the background and then finally she informed me of the odd reason for this conversation.

'I wanted to talk about Hiro. It appears you're being quite a bad influence.'

I felt a strong urge top defend myself. 'Excuse me but how exactly am I being a bad influence? Before him and I started to befriend each other people kept on bullying and teasing him. At least now they leave him alone.'

'He doesn't need some Ghetto kid to protect him. Violence is not an option. You're teaching him the wrong values of society.'

I know this may sound strange, but her prejudiced wording actually kinda hurt me. It was weird, I wasn't the kind of person whom this would normally affect very deeply. Normally I would just brush it off and ignore it, but that day I realised that things had changed about me. I was no longer indifferent. I was concerned about what others thought of me.

'Believe it or not, I never became violent!' I informed her. My voice had somewhat of a bitter and sad tone.

'Really? And I'm supposed to believe that?'

This conversation really pissed me off, but mostly it upset me. 'No, I never did, I am not a violent person. And for your information, I'm not 'some Ghetto kid' either.'

'Okay, let me re-phrase. A boy from questionable circumstances encouraging a promising and inspirational student to engage in very out-of-character behaviour. You see Kai, it is your own choice what you do with your life. And it is Hiro's choice what to do with his, however he is such a friendly and hard working boy, I would hate to see it all go to waste. He deserves to go to a good University, get a well paid job and marry a nice girl one day.'

'He's happy now!' I interrupted her. 'He never really was before.'

It was the truth. Before I had gotten to know Hiro well, he had always appeared somewhat lonely. I knew that feeling too well. Maybe that was the reason I had started talking to him? Oh I don't even know. I only know that it had kinda happened.

I didn't wait for the teacher to come up with a response. I just left. This discussion was silly anyways. What did she know about me? Nothing but the image that I had built up for the fun of it. I couldn't blame people for thinking of me as a no-good punk. I had brought this upon myself with the intent of mocking society and the people around me (also, I had somehow felt committed to do so. It was weird, but I had felt as if it would be such a waste not to live out my newfound freedom). It was only now, that I started regretting to have built up this reputation. I had somehow started to feel hurt by the way people judged me. I actually didn't even look too rebellious that day. I still had dyed blue hair and baggy jeans, but I was wearing my black button down shirt (that I had actually found a great liking too, recently. Those kind of shirts used to be my favourite attire when living with my Grandfather). Also, my face markings weren't in place. It is kinda strange, like aren't you supposed to mature to not caring what people think of you? With me it's the opposite I guess I'm just odd. Like the teacher said, I came from 'questionable circumstances'. She was correct on that one. Actually, I felt should be happy for Hiro to have a teacher that cared so much about him as a person. I'm not really close to any of my teachers, and well, it is my own fault for purposely deceiving them. In fact, I came to realize, that not caring what others think of you is quite impractical and somewhat selfish.

XsXsX

At the end of the Maths lesson, Hiro passed me a note that I was supposed to give to Max. I could already guess what it said, probably something along the lines of him being horny and wanting to meet up with the boy. I handed it to Max during our Politics and Economics class. He read it and started giggling -loud enough for the teacher to notice.

'Matthew Tate, what is it that you're holding there in your hands?'

'A note that Kai passed me, sir.'

Oh good on you Max! Telling him it came from me, so now I would get in trouble too, that was just great. To all extent, the teacher grabbed the note and decided to read it out loud, to the entire class, that is:

'I want to fuck you. Meet me in the detention room during lunch.'

In that moment, my jaw literally dropped. Damn, Hiro sure was straight forward about this kind of stuff. Would it really have been that hard to formulate it in a less …direct way? The whole class was staring at me in shock. Well I wasn't any less shocked than they were. Only Tyson was smiling at me in an encouraging manner. Damn, he still believed I was in some sort of romantic relationship with Max. Talking about Max, that boy trying to keep a straight face but I could tell he was suppressing a cheeky grin. Sly Bastard!

'I didn't write that note, I was merely told to pass it to Max.' I claimed in my defence. I was still quite embarrassed about the whole situation. This new caring-thing didn't become me well at all.

'So who did write that note if not you?' the teacher mockingly asked.

'Yes I would like to know that too.' Max said in his most innocent voice.

'You own it up to Maxie to tell him who is sexually harassing him.' a random girl agreed.

Strangely enough, I had to suppress the urge to blush. I was feeling uncommonly ashamed about the entire ordeal. However I decided to act all tough and stereotypical.

'Listen kid, I don't care about your sexual affaires and I don't want anything to do with them, so tell your fuck-buddy that I wont be passing on any more notes.'

I kept my voice monotone and indifferent, trying to leak out as little emotion as possible.

'Kai, I wont be tolerating this kind of language in my class.'

'Tell him sir! He has no right to talk to poor Maxie like that.'

'Yea, who knows if it wasn't him who wanted to get into Maxie's pants.'

'You are scum, Kai, filthy scum!'

Okay this was getting enough! The part of myself who had started caring about what people thought of me had caused me to get oddly upset. I stood up and shoved my books and pens into my bag.'

'What do you think you're doing?' the teacher yelled.

'I'm leaving. I'm sick off listening to this immature bullshit. You should be thankful, maybe when I'm gone the talking will stop and you'll finally be able to continue your teaching.' I hissed.

The teacher gave me a perplex look and then uttered: 'You can't just skip class.'

I shrugged. 'If you're lucky you wont be seeing me at all from a couple of days onward.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' he stuttered in return.

I walked up to the door, looked back inside and announced: 'I'm contemplating if I should go back to Russia, at the moment, I'm strongly pending towards it.'

Then I walked outside. So now it was official, I would go to the Charity Gala.

I closed the door behind me and sighed. I wasn't even done sighing as the door burst back open and Max threw himself at me.

'You're a coward!'

He pushed me against the wall. 'A damn coward, do you understand me'

'Of course I do I'm not mentally retarded. Now, why do you care so much anyways?'

His body twitched, and he paused for a second before he came up with a reply which he submitted by yelling in my face: 'Because for some pathetic reason I've started to enjoy your lame-ass company, that's why!'

I pushed him off me. 'Well for your information Max, I don't exist merely for your entertainment.'

A bunch of people were starting to rush out of the 'Politics and Economics' classroom, gathering around us. Soon we were surrounded by a bunch of people repeating 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' over and over again.

'This is getting to stupid for me.' I muttered.

Max smirked, then he suddenly threw his arms around me and hugged me. 'I'm sorry, Kai. I didn't mean to freak out. I was just upset that you wanted to leave. Can you forgive me?'

I couldn't help but grin. This kid really possessed the ability to alter my mood on the spot. I now was curiously amused. So Maxie wanted to piss off the people around us. He gave them the opposite of what they wanted. He sure was a strange one. I had to confess, I would indeed miss him in a sense. Being around him was so different, he wasn't like any other person I'd ever met before.

'So what's the deal, why are you leaving?' he whispered with a voice, so faint, only I could hear him.

'My Grandfather offered me a truce if I attend this Charity Gala with him. It's in a few days time.' I whispered back.

'What, you're just going to give in like that? You're managing alright so far, so go to the Gala and tell your Grandfather face to face that you don't need his fucking money!'

One amazing thing about Max was his ability of keeping his voice low while he said something as revolting as that. Another amazing thing about him was that he did have a point. I was indeed managing alright. I had a job for now, that might be a bit sleazy but paid well, also I had plans for the future, which weren't all that bad either. And I was surrounded by some quite interesting people. My life wasn't perfect, but neither had the life with my Grandfather been. My life was going alright. That was the way to express it. It was doing alright!

Max let go of me and then went on staring at me for a while. His hand suddenly twitched and he turned around to walk back into the classroom. I sighed, deciding that I had spent enough time playing drama queen and followed him inside. Behind me, my classmates were expressing great astonishment. Well I couldn't blame them. I was a bit confused myself.

XsXsX

After Politics and Economics there was lunch. I watched how Max walked off in the direction of the detention room to meet up with Hiro. I certainly didn't feel like sitting down in the cafeteria so I went onto the court outside, sat down on a bench and got started on some homework.

'Can we sit with you?' strangely, that was Tyson's voice. I looked up to see him and that Chinese guy standing in front of me, holding their homemade lunch packages. The Chinese guy looked kinda pissed. It was obvious he didn't share Tyson's enthusiasm about 'sitting with me'.

'Sure, if your friend doesn't mind.'

The guy blushed and then sat down on the bench next to Tyson. 'You and Max appear to be pretty close.' he said in an accusing tone.

'I suppose we are in a way.'

Tyson was smirking. Oh get your mind out of the gutter, boy!

The Chinese guy continued his interrogation. 'How did you guys get close in the first place?'

'Oh come on Rei, give him a break.' Tyson interrupted him. Then he turned to me with a more serious look on his face. 'Say do you still have feelings for him? Cause I think Maxie really likes you.'

Arrgh! Tyson was so damn stupid. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that. Well he didn't exactly tell anyone about it, but because of him, that Rei guy found out about it:

'Wait, what is going on here? Tyson?'

'Oh sorry, I forgot you didn't know, Kai and Maxie were dating for a while.'

In that moment, I literally face palmed myself.

'WHAT? Are you serious, him and Maxie?' that was Rei yelling at Tyson. Then he turned to me. 'What did you do to him? Did you…'

He left that sentence uncompleted.

'No we didn't. And whatever went on between me and Max is none of your business. It's over.'

Damn, I really regretted letting Tyson sit down next to me. A look at his face told me he had planned this. Sly planning, once again! I think Max was rubbing off on him. I ignored Rei's pouting and focused my attention on Tyson. 'What do you want from me?'

He smirked. 'I want you to get back together with Maxie. Otherwise, the entire school will find out.'

'Are you crazy? Tyson, how could you want Maxie to be with that guy. He's wild.' that was Rei expressing his usual protest.

'Tyson, you didn't think this blackmailing plan through. If you go on with your plan of revealing what had been going on between Max and me, you will hurt his reputation more than my own.'

And most importantly, it would hurt one other person who was dear to both myself and Tyson. I hadn't confessed to Hiro yet. I felt there was no point in me confessing. You might say that wasn't fair towards him, but think about it. If I were to confess it would only upset him. He would be happier living in oblivion.

Tyson seemed to have realised the vital flaw in his plan. He sighed and then begged me:

'Don't leave the country, okay. I think Maxie and my brother would be very hurt if you would.'

I hadn't thought of that before. So far I had only considered the consequences it would have on myself but I hadn't thought of others. Most of the people wouldn't really care. But those two would for sure, no matter how tough Maxie was acting. Or how bad of an influence I was being on Hiro according to my Literature teacher. I started to wonder if Anya had made any close friends too. I know it is easier for young children to adapt to new environments, but she had already been through so many drastic changes of scenery. First she was with her mother, then, as her mother died, she had moved into a motel with me. Me who had been a complete stranger to her, at first, and then she had gone to a different country where they spoke a totally different language. Maybe it would be too much for a little girl to handle.

XsXsX

The day of the Gala had come. And I had decided I would attend it. I hade made Tyson and Rei swear to not mention a single word about the potential plan of me leaving to Hiro. I hadn't told him about the Gala either. I didn't want him too worry, and I knew he was the type to do so. Max ended up spending a night at my place the day before. He had come on to me on multiple occasions, trying to prevent me from going. I had set my mind on attending the Gala, but I hadn't yet decided if I should leave with my Grandfather or not.

Right before leaving I spent some time standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at my reflection. It was strange, seeing myself in a suit again. I somehow had the feeling that I didn't quite resemble my 2 years younger self that much anymore. I had even dyed my hair. It was back to being plain black. Seeing myself with black hair gave me quite a nostalgic feeling. It had been a long time. However my hair was longer now than it had been back then, and not so neatly cut either. I had brushed it, and even borrowed some hairspray from the neighbour for it to stay in place, but I did no longer look that much like the proper little rich kid I used to be. I didn't feel like it either. Somehow I felt really uneasy in that penguin suit. I went back to my room and looked inside my closet. I quickly found what I was searching for. My black button down shirt. I stripped off my white Armani shirt and replaced it with my black one. Then I put the suit jacket back on and returned to the bathroom to continue eyeing myself in the mirror. This was much better!

'You look nice.' that was my little girl's voice. I was wondering if she had ever seen me in a suit before. Most likely not. I smiled down at her and she smiled back. I remember how she didn't like me much at all when we first met. Those first few weeks had been tough. She had cried for her Mother and I didn't yet know how to comfort her properly. I suddenly realised how she had actually gotten quite attached to me over the years. Never would I have expected that. Children sure were forgiving. I wish adults were more like that.

I kneed down to talk to her. 'So you know the plan, you will stay with Miss Iota for the night, since I will most likely get back quite late. So be polite, always say please and thank you.' She nodded, she knew the routine.

XsXsX

An hour later I was standing a few meters away from the impressive entrance stairs of the Baltimore Opera Building. I had taken the bus there (which earned myself a few estranged looks from others, not often that you see a man in an Armani suit riding a public bus), it was quite a walk from the bus station, I had been lucky I wasn't mobbed on the way. But now I was standing at the stairs and not quite ready to go up. I was being silly, I knew that, but I couldn't help it. Finally I convinced myself and walked up to the entrance door.

'Could I have your name, sir?' A lady in a fancy uniform asked me.

'Nikolaj Hiwatari.' I told her. I had even brought my ID, in case she wouldn't believe me. Back in the old days, I always used to be accompanied by my Grandfather, nobody would ever dare to say anything. And even this time, my last name did me a favour.

'You are seated on table 4, sir, please enjoy the evening.'

I nodded at her and walked inside.

It was quite a stunning sight. I had completely forgotten what these Charity parties were like. There was a red carped, spread out for the Celebrities that wanted to show off themselves, so I didn't bother. I planned to look for my table instead. Unfortunately I found it way quicker than I had hoped. And to top it off, my Grandfather was already seated. I froze as soon as I spotted him. For almost a minute I just stared at him. He didn't look any different at all. He might have been more tanned, but apart from that, he looked exactly like I remembered him. Some mixed emotions shot through my body. I was happy, oh so happy to see him again, and then there was fear, worry. Surprisingly there was no anger, not at all.

Grandfather's eyes scanned the surroundings (he had always been a very cautious man, wanting to know exactly what was going on around him) and then randomly his eyes met mine. We held eye contact for a while. Chills were running down my spine. I couldn't hold it for much longer, I sunk my head, focused my eyes away from him and then slowly walked to my table and sat down beside him. I could feel the awkward atmosphere between us. I didn't quite know what to say to him, and neither did he, so it appeared. Finally, he broke the silence.

'I honestly did not expect you to come Nikolaj.' he said in a bitter voice.

'Well, you must've had enough confidence in me to send out an invitation and reserve a seat at this table.' I hissed.

He started laughing. 'Feisty as always, aren't you, Kai?'

I felt him place a hand on my shoulder an somehow that helped relaxing the atmosphere between us, which resulted in me grinning (yes, grinning).

'I must say, you have grown into a handsome young man Kai.'

'Oh cut the crap. Why does everyone always make such a comment when they haven't seen me in a while. You should know by now that this superficial verbiage doesn't have any effect on me. ' I countered. I don't know how I got the sudden courage to say such a thing to my grandfather, I used to be very reserved around him. Hardly ever daring to criticise his actions. What astonished me was that he didn't at all seem angry about it, instead he just continued to smile at me.

'I like that attitude of your's. I could use someone like you for Biovolt. I believe you would do good work as my personal assistant.'

'I would be honoured.' I replied. I sincerely would.

'So is that a yes?'

Grandfather had a content expression on his lips. I could tell he had been hoping for this turn of event. I gave him an honest and sweet smile before I formulated my response.

'No, it isn't.'

He was a bit staggered. But he hid it well.

'So you have decided to live your life for yourself?'

'Not to live it for myself, necessarily, but I worked hard to build it up on my own. It would be a waste. Also I am way to curious to see how it will go on, how things will play out.'

He started laughing. It wasn't a malicious laugh, it was a happy laugh. He was happy for me.

'I shouldn't have expected it any other way. You are not the type to live in anyone's shadow. Your parents weren't like you at all, they were better off having someone to tell them what to do. But you are indeed more like me. So tell me, what exactly is your plan?'

I told him. He listened well and he criticised me in the points I had expected him to criticise me. Of course he would have preferred for me to go to a proper University and not just a Community College. Of course he had hoped for my plans to be a bit greater and less subtle. But in the end he respected my decisions. He did offer me unlimited access to his bank account, which I accepted, however didn't plan to use at any point. In the end we were both re-assured that we had our differences, but said our Farwells in peace. There was no longer a war atmosphere between us, and that was good. In some ways I did regret, not accepting the position of the assistant manager. I'm sure I would have enjoyed that life. But like I had told my Grandfather: I was too curious to find out where I was heading. Living with my Grandfather, my life used to have a lot of structure, but without structure, I came to realize, my life was more exciting. I had to confess, I would miss some people, mostly Max and Hiro, but also some of the teacher and random students, even though we had our differences. Everyone had their own, exquisite tics. The thing about a public school is that hardly anyone suppresses it, not like at home, where I had been home schooled by teachers whose intention it was to get their job done and then leave, without exposing any of their personality. Same with the servants and the people working for my grandfather. It was all about the outwards appearance, and they had been trained in it. It was useful to be able to manipulate this appearance, but it was a lot more refreshing if not.

But most importantly I decided to stay, because I was doing alright…

XsXsX

I arrived at my apartment late. It was about 2 in the morning. A person was sitting at my doorstep. The knees angled, arms slung around them, wearing nothing but his boxers and a white Armani shirt.

'Hello there Maxie, what a surprise seeing outside of my apartment for a change.' I mocked him, referring to the time he had broken in and waited in my room for me.

Maxie yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked strangely cute like that.

'Well I got kinda bored of it.' he said jokingly.

I let myself down next to him. 'That shirt doesn't suite you, you look way too innocent in white.'

He giggled and stuck out his tongue. Then he patted my head. 'And your hair is curly!'

'No it's not, wavy maybe, but certainly not curly!' I protested.

'Hmm, you're right, it's wavy. You look very different when you don't do your hair-gel flippy thing. Are you going to keep it like this or dye it back to blue.'

'Nuh, I think it will stay like this, I've gotten over my rebellious phase, so there's no need.' It was the truth. Now that I had resolved the issue with my Grandfather.

Maxie continued giggling. 'You're not leaving after all, I knew it.'

'No I'm not.'

'The Gala was broadcast on TV, and they showed pictures on the news. You were in a few. So things are going to be different tomorrow at school.'

'Yes, they will be.'

'Things are going to be a lot of fun tomorrow at school.'

Oh Maxie that egocentric maniac!

'Yes, I'm sure they will be fun for you, Max.'

He snuggled his body closer to mine and put his arm around my waist.

'Will you stay with me like this for the night, until tomorrow morning?'

I looked down at him, he had rested his head on my shoulders and was staring at me with his big, blue eyes.

'Yes, Max, I will.'

XsXsX

So this is it, hope you enjoyed it, even though it was more Kai's thoughts rather than anything productive actually happening in the story. But I felt this chapter was necessary. So from now on Kai will be less rigid. You survived this Hamlet-like chapter and you can look forward to a less rigid Kai, yay!

Anyways, please review if you liked it (or not), it would make me very happy!