for an anonymous angst request on tumblr :)
"Would you believe me if I said I can fit my whole fist in my mouth?"
Across the room, Yukine sighs.
"Why don't you try? Might shut you up."
Yato throws him an indignant glance, and Hiyori catches Yukine sticking his tongue out.
"I wasn't asking you," Yato huffs, turning his back on his shinki. "I was asking Hiyori."
She covers her mouth with a hand, trying to hide a laugh at both of their expenses. Choking back her giggles, she says:
"Well—if anyone can do it, it's you, Yato."
: : :
Hiyori spins, letting Yato get the full effect of her outfit. It seems to be a bit much for him.
"You look…um…" he trails off, not even bothering to hide his stare.
The pearldrop delicacy of the fabric catches the sunlight. It dances up her wrists, her arms, up to where it nestles in the gleam of her hair.
"Well? What do you think?" she asks impatiently, blushing.
Yato breaks eye contact. He shoves his hands deep in his jersey pockets, distorting its shape.
"I'd tell you how you look, but I don't think you'd believe me."
: : :
"Would you believe me if I said I wanted to kiss you?"
The question comes—not necessarily out of nowhere—but rather out of a comfortable, intimate silence that Hiyori had been enjoying. But when he asks her that, she suddenly can't hear anything other than the enormousbump, bump, bump, of her heartbeat.
"Uh—I. Uh…"
The smell of him destroys her ability to form a logical sentence. He's very close.
"Is that a no?" he asks. His eyes are on her. She's burning, burning.
He is too close, and her throat is dry.
"It's…not…" she whispers, hoarsely.
And then he's kissing her softly: a perfect question. She leans in.
The answer is yes.
: : :
"Hey, Hiyori."
"Hmm?"
She doesn't look up. He's sitting behind her, playing with her hair. She's a little afraid to see what he's done with it.
"Would you…would you believe it if—"
"Yes."
He tugs a loose strand, making her wince in annoyance.
"You didn't even let me finish!" he whines.
"I didn't need to!" she returns. "You always know what I'll say."
But Yato's silence after her response makes her think that maybe something's different—this time, at least.
"I was gonna say, would you believe me if I said I lov—"
He cuts off suddenly as Hiyori sits upright, spinning around to face him. Her hair whips out of his fingers, and she catches him with a deer-in-the-headlights expression. His hands are still awkwardly lifted in front of him.
"—That I love Capypa Land! That's all I was gonna say," he finishes, giving her an embarrassed grin. "Wow, Hiyori, what did you think I was about to—"
Her Tōno training kicks in, and a few seconds later Yato is begging for mercy, his arm bent at an impossible angle under her elbow.
"Fine—! Fine! That's not what I was gonna say!"
She releases him.
"Good," she remarks, sternly.
Neither of them notice that she's breathing a bit harder than usual.
He rubs his arm woundedly, and she takes advantage of his distraction to press a quick kiss to his nose.
"Besides, you always know what my answer will be."
Hiyori pauses before continuing. When she does, her voice has a small quiver in it.
"And I…love you too."
: : :
Humans are so fragile. She is fragile. And now, she can never forget that again.
First it was shortness of breath, then exhaustion—then, suddenly, she's hooked up to machines that beep all night. Enough beeping to drive her insane.
Luckily, she's rarely alone.
"What, no cleverness?" she says playfully, as Yato sits in her bedroom, helping her find the edge pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
He turns to look at her, and her breath catches. That could also be the sickness…but she doesn't think so this time.
"Would you believe me if I said I could solve this dumb puzzle in under ten minutes?" he asks, growling at the mismatched pieces.
Hiyori laughs, but it's interrupted by coughing. His hand slips behind her back, supporting her while her lungs rack themselves empty. When she recovers, she sees him watching her. His suffering face betrays his agony of powerlessness.
So she smiles, as widely as she can, and pushes the pieces of the puzzle toward him.
"I'm really showing faith in you for this one. Let's see if you can solve it in nine."
: : :
Yato and Yukine are in her hospital room. Yato sits on the bed next to her, and Yukine sprawls across the foot, reading a book.
They've been here every day—cheering her up, bringing her gifts, showering her with smiles.
"Would you believe me if I said you're looking a lot better?" Yato says, loud enough for Yukine to hear him.
Hiyori's thin hand covers his. Her skin is colorless: weightless tissue, next to his warm vitality. She looks up at him, and her heart breaks—and when he smiles wetly at her, it manages to break again.
"Sure I would," she says, lifting his fingers to her lips.
: : :
Time to go.
They're here with her—everyone she's loved. Her parents, her friends. Even Daikoku and Kofuku stand outside the glass window, well away from the hospital equipment—although everything that could go wrong clearly already has.
Hiyori's eyes can hardly open, but she knows there are two more at her bedside. One of them is a small, shivering figure, trying to keep his smile steady for her as she floats away.
"You could come back," Yukine says. Then softer, unsure: "…maybe."
She really doesn't know. If she does come back, it won't be as Hiyori. Maybe she doesn't want to come back, if she can't be herself.
Maybe that will make all the difference.
Yato is there, too. She's watched something inside him break a little bit, every day that brings them closer to this. Soon, the whole world becomes a pale, distant blur: all except his face, his eyes, his smell.
Through the fading, she feels him lean closer.
"Would you believe me, if I said I'll find you again?"
His breath is against her cheek; he's so warm. She wants to curl up there.
"Wherever your soul goes—wherever you try to hide—I'll find you, and I'll make you come back."
Her friends and family only see her silent smile, but the answer is the same.
I believe you. I believe you. Always.