Chapter 10: Autumnal bliss

Livia Snape was already twenty-seven. There had been nobody else after Nathan Mann. It wasn't like she had the time to have a relationship. Running a business and trying to destroy the locket left her drained. Besides, she liked painting when she had free time. But something troubled her… If she didn't meet anybody, then she wouldn't get married, and even less get pregnant… Children. She wanted to have them, but it seemed something unachievable at the moment.

"Reg, do you ever think about having a family?"

He stopped eating dinner and locked eyes with her.

"Sometimes…" he conceded cautiously.

"Why haven't you ever gone out with women, then? I mean, I want to have children someday and I dated Nathan, even if it turned out to be horrible, yet I have never seen you with a girl… Are you gay?"

He choked at her bluntness and wrong assumption.

"Liv, I guarantee you… I like women very much. In fact, they called me a womanizer back at Hogwarts…"

Was that relief he saw in her black depths? It didn't last long. Her lips formed a cocky grin as she teased, "Well, you've certainly lost practice… If you like women why don't you ask them out?"

He blushed. Damnit. He felt like a hormonal teenager in front of his oblivious crush.

"My first priority is destroying the horcrux. Anyhow, I don't have time to date, and it would be neither safe nor sensible. Even if the locket was finally destroyed, the one I fancy would never like me back…"

She quirked an eyebrow when he uttered the last sentence.

"Oh, so there is someone… Well, how do you know she doesn't like you back? Have you told her how you feel?"

"Not really…"

She rolled her eyes.

"Reg, unless the woman happens to be a seer, she has no feasible way to know about your feelings…"

Regulus was beginning to feel uncomfortable, so he avoided her mesmerizing ebony eyes and directed his glance towards the half-eaten food.

"I honestly have no idea why you have suddenly become so shy. You could have any girl you wanted. You have it way easier than me. Usually, guys talk to me until they notice my hooked nose or pale skin, or when they hear me making snarky comments. That scares them off. I am an ugly and nasty woman."

He shot his head up at her words, "Do you really believe that?"

It was Livia's turn to avert his eyes and become timid.

"Liv, you are a wonderful person. If they can't see it, then it's their loss…"

She grinned faintly at him.

"You know, I am glad you walked into my life. You are my best friend, Reg."

The words should have made him happy, but they didn't. Best friend. Nothing more. How clueless could Livia be?

Livia was having a shower. The hot water felt like heaven against her skin. She had felt cold on her way home; the weather had taken her by surprise. Summer had left brusquely and her favorite time of the year replaced it; dying London in reds, browns, yellows and oranges, and invading it with new smells of apples, cinnamon, pumpkins, sweet potatoes and chestnuts. Livia loved the fall season. She enjoyed drinking tea while watching the leaves dancing across the ground, driven by the chilly breeze. She loved painting the different colors. Besides, autumn always carried some blissful memories with it… When Severus and Livia were mere children, they always looked forward to jumping on the leaves and hearing the crispy sound against their feet. Sometimes, Severus had gone above and beyond and had given her piggyback rides across the park, filling it with pure and innocent laughter as they seemed to fly with the wind. He had stopped doing that when he met Lily though.

Livia's thoughts were interrupted when she stepped out of the shower and noticed that she had forgotten to bring in her garments. Bugger, she cursed inside.

"Kreacher, please, bring me my clothes! I forgot them in my bedroom."

"Kreacher doesn't follow your orders. Kreacher only obeys master Regulus."

"Of course," she snorted, "What was I expecting?"

The squib sighed and faltered across the flat, only covered in an old beige towel.

"Holy mother of Merlin!"

Shit, she cursed. Livia would recognize his suave voice anywhere.

"Bloody hell, Reg, turn around, will you?"

The young man stood agape, not making a move, his eyes taking in every detail of her figure. The towel managed to cover her bottom and chest, but that was it. Her long thin legs were totally exposed, as well as her cleavage and shoulders. Her hair was awfully wet, and some drops had managed to stream down her pale skin, making it shine. There was nothing more the wizard wanted to do than to rip off that bloody towel and expose her naked beauty before discovering every inch of her and kissing every spot of her damp porcelain skin.

"Regulus Arcturus Black, if you value your life at least half as much as that elf of yours does, you better leave this room and never mention this again!"

Her threat made him skedaddle, but the image of her body was still fresh in his mind. He queried he'd never forget it, truth be told, especially when he kept imagining what it would be like to feel her skin against his. Regulus couldn't look her straight in the eye for a whole week without turning scarlet.

"Reg, have you asked that mysterious girl out already?"

"Yes," he lied, hoping she'd drop the topic.

"And…?"

"And she said no."

Livia sneered, "You know, you are supposed to be a slytherin. Slytherins are great liars, but clearly, you have lost faculties… Regulus, there is no possible way that a woman said no to spend quality time with you."

"Why do you say so?"

She furrowed her brow.

"Why? Don't be ridiculous! It is incredibly hard to miss the fact that you are an attractive young man who just happens to be charismatic and hilarious; and even though you can act like a conceited boy, your heart is of gold. Any intelligent woman would jump at the opportunity! Merlin knows that I would…"

Sweet Salazar, had he heard her correctly? It wasn't that he was surprised that she had managed to dent and bolster his ego in the same sentence, he was used to that. No, what he would have never expected in a million years were her last words…

Livia seemed to realize she had confessed more than intended, for she blushed embarrassedly and made to leave the room with a nervous pace. Regulus grabbed her arm before she could though. His other hand cupped her chin until she couldn't escape his intense gaze.

"Liv…" His hot breath caressed her lips, making her cheeks heat up even more. Their faces were so close their noses were touching. He was afraid their proximity would make her realize his heart was beating way faster than healers would recommend. "Are you in love with me?"

There, he asked it. Now he just prayed to Merlin that he wouldn't make a fool of himself or that she wouldn't feel awkward.

Livia gulped and breathed out, "It doesn't matter. You clearly don't want me… So let me walk out of this room and save what little dignity I still carry with me."

Gods, Regulus wanted to hug her, to whisper sweet words and never let her go. He wanted to yell at her for not realizing he had been in love with her since he first laid his eyes on her. He wanted to snog her senseless. He wanted to shake some sense into her for being so freaking blind. He wanted to smack himself for being just as blind. He wanted to make love to her until she screamed his name. Heck! He had waited so much he was sure he would be happy to do it on the cold floor. Dazed by his overflowing and contradictory emotions, Regulus exploded, "You, foolish woman!"

Congratulations, Regulus, he thought sarcastically, There wasn't a better way to start confessing your feelings. How very romantic of you to insult her when everything you want to do is to tell her how extraordinarily bewitching she is. Now her eyes are tearful. Excellent job, Mr. Black! Ten points to Slytherin. His internal monologue was interrupted by the squib hissing in a dangerously low way voice, "Let. Go. Of. Me."

"Not in a lifetime, Livia, not when I know that you finally return my feelings."

Livia forgot how to move. It was difficult for her to simply breathe.

"What?" she wondered in a faint voice.

"I love you. Always have, always will."

The woman shook her head as a solitary tear coursed down her cheek.

"B-but I am a s-squib and you are a pureblood w-wizard… You are handsome and I am ugly…"

He hated seeing her so damn vulnerable and insecure of herself.

"So what if you are a squib? You are the best thing that has happened to me, Liv, can't you see? You are the most entrancing woman I've ever met. You are beautiful, in and out. Don't you ever believe you are less than perfect to me."

She shook her head in denial, "I don't understand… You said nothing when I dated Nathan…"

He sighed, "Liv, I hated the guy! I was sick with jealousy… You cannot even imagine. But I was a bloody idiot in love… I just wanted you to be happy, and you were. At least, you looked like it, so I supported you, even though I was dying inside. I hated what he did to you… And I was overjoyed when you told me you had broken up. I thought we had a chance, even if we couldn't be together until You-know-who was gone for good. Yet, you always referred to me as a friend, best friend at most… I thought you would never love me the way I loved you…"

Livia suppressed the need to laugh bitterly.

"I really am a right fool. I wasn't even in love with Nathan… He made me feel special, he was the first man to express interest in me and so I welcomed him. But I never felt for him what I feel for you, Reg. Why do you think I never went out with anybody else? It wasn't just for the first impression I give, you know? The few men that disregard my looks and cutting personality aren't good enough for me. I always compare them to you, and they always lose."

They fell silent. Regulus stroked her cheek fondly, descending until he reached her neck as his other hand traced her spine through the fabric of her shirt. Livia shut her eyes, leaned into his touch and let out a pleasant sigh. This was better than any fantasy he had daydreamed about. Regulus smirked at her reactions and teased, "So do you think this is a good time to get a bloody kiss, after years of oblivious denial?"

Livia opened her eyes, which were twinkling with a special glow. She flashed him a crooked smile and joshed back in a seductive tone, "If I recall correctly, you once told me you were a slytherin. Aren't slytherins supposed to be ambitious and aspire for the best? We have waited long enough. I am not settling for only one kiss, Reg. I expect more."

He chortled lowly, "Desperate, aren't we?"

"You know, I would be offended if it wasn't because I can already feel your erection, the actual proof that you are even more desperate than I am…"

Her onyx eyes were shining with lust and Regulus found himself getting lost in them. Their lips crushed. They had no idea who had initiated it, but their first kiss was violent and messy, consequence of years of secret yearning and reprimanded sentiments. All that Regulus desired was to taste her, to smell her, to venerate her… Merlin! Was this even real? Was this woman snogging him? All he knew was that he needed some air, so he broke the kiss. He became aware that her arms had somehow draped over his shoulders. She smiled radiantly at him like she had never done and was about to initiate another possessive kiss, when something made him stop her.

"W-wait."

"Yes?" she asked impatiently as she arched an eyebrow.

"I can't do this. We can't do this. We must focus on destroying the horcrux. A romantic relationship would distract us. You-know-who-"

"Fuck him, Regulus! I don't care! I have already lost my brother to him! I am not losing you too! I refuse!"

All doubts and worries on Regulus's mind flew away when her tongue entered his mouth and her fingers loosened his buttons. Livia Snape was about to make a new autumnal blissful memory.