Doing
***
I was exhausted the next morning. Those who had slept around me had already left to get on with the day, leaving me to sleep on. I wasn't sure if I was I was grateful or lonely. Edith and George had stayed behind, a little way apart. George had Bhaskar on his knee while Edith lovingly fed him sweets. Bhaskar saw me wake and ran over.
"Mum!"
"Mornin' Bhask," I said hugging him. "Lets go outside, ok?" He followed me out, glancing back at Edith and George, who made no move.
"Are you avoiding them?" he asked.
"They creep me out," I said before I could stop myself.
"Mum!" Bhaskar said.
"Sorry, that's not fair is it," I sighed. But it was true.
"I think they're nice."
"You think anyone's nice who spoils you rotten."
"They're my grandparents, it's their job."
The shouts of children playing ball carried far in the cold morning air and with a glance for consent, Bhask ran off to join them. My eyes followed him out over the grassy plains, imagining snow falling, people running…
"Flame," Dorsey called, waving, drawing me out of my daydreams, and I hurried over to join in the work.
That night, as people finished up their dinner, a deep drumming sounded, so loud it reverberated through my whole body. It was like being cocooned in sound, like everyone's blood was beating as one. Everyone gathered in a circle, and slowly, people began to enter it, dancing to the beat, losing themselves and finding themselves in the rhythm. Everyone had their own individual style: Dorsey elegant and athletic, spinning, hopping, and swaying; an older woman slower but powerful, deeply rhythmic. Flynt had pulled Alex over to the drummers, and then Bhask was led off by a friend to learn how to dance. A small smile found my features as I watched him learning foot moves in the firelight. Then I saw Edith watching him too. She was sitting alone. I bit my lip. I took a breath and walked over to her.
"You're not dancing?" I had to lean down to her ear so she could hear me over the drums. She was low down so I was crouching, then I gave in and sat next to her. She shook her head, smiling at me, and showed me her old fingers, twisted and swollen.
"Were you injured?" I asked, reluctant to touch them. She shook her head again, amused.
"Happens to everyone when they get old," she said, tucking them back into her shawl.
"Can't you go to a Healer?" I asked.
"I am a healer," she said. Then amusement lit her face again and she nodded at Bhaskar, who was getting the hang of it. We watched him sharing a companionable silence.
***
The drumming had continued til late, and I found myself asleep before it finished. In the morning I woke up in the sleeping area, covered in a blanket. Bhask was pulling on his shoes, standing on one leg. I put my hand on his thigh and he jumped, losing his balance and fell onto Alex. Alex woke up startled, to finding Bhask sitting on him and both us trying to stifle our laughter into our hands. He smiled and shook his head, pulled on Bhask's shoes for him, grabbed his and mine and led us outside.
"Your idea is causing quite a stir," he said, pulling on his shoes as I did mine. We all walked down to the woods. Though it had seemed simple at first, the more I thought about filming human messages to the Souls, the more complicated it got.
"We've got to do something. I can't stand for things to keep going as they are." I said. Bhask grabbed my hand as we walked.
"It would mean talking to a lot of humans," he said.
"We can start here," I said, smiling at Bhask.
"Then it would mean finding others," he said doubtfully. We reached the river, and sat on the smooth boulders bordering its edge.
"Finding is what I do. Plus we could use connections from here, work out by word of mouth, like a spiders web."
"It wouldn't be safe for you with the other groups, it's not like here..."
"I don't have to meet them. But it wouldn't be safe for you on the roads. I'd have to go."
"I'd have to go too," Bhask said confidently.
"Oh really."
"Yep. Those other humans almost shot you last time," his voice trembled a little, "they only didn't because of me. I'd have to go to protect you."
"No one's going anywhere yet. People here haven't even decided if it's a good idea," Alex said.
***
People discussed the idea amongst themselves for several days, then a meeting was called. Everyone had a chance to speak. One of the elders began, talking long and vividly of the past. Others continued with stories about how they found themselves there that day. They spoke well, clearly, easily, obviously used to talking in front of a group like this, and their stories became real for me.
Alex kept looking at me pointedly, wanting me to speak, but I shook my head. I had no story that fit in with these. He knew my idea. He could talk about it. Finally Edith stood up.
"When the Souls came, we lost everything. Our family, our homes, our lives," Everyone listened quietly. "You all know that I lost a daughter. The Souls did not kill her, but she died because of them. Her spirit followed another's. I thought I had lost her forever long ago. But this woman has brought her back to me. She has brought not only a daughter but a grandson too." She paused, smiling secretively, "Who knows, perhaps one day she will bring me a son-in-law too." There was quiet laughter around the circle.
"She has brought great gifts to us, and she offers more. I wish to hear her speak." She looked at me with her piercing old eyes, and I felt the pressure of dozens of human eyes falling on me as the circle turned its focus to me. My throat went dry. Bhask elbowed me hard. I gave him a dirty look and got to my feet unsteadily.
"Uh," I started. Oooh great start, I thought.
"I uh… I guess I just wanted to talk about what to do for the future. I have been hearing all your stories and… well it's terrible what happened in the past. What's still happening. I used to be a part of that. I was a Seeker. But I had Bhaskar too. So… So I know that fear of waiting everyday, hoping your family won't be taken away from you. I thought if I just gave it time, people would see what I see in him," I smiled at him. He looked back at me with grave eyes.
"But they weren't looking." My smile faded. "They only get one side of the story. They think humans are… violent, aggressive, cruel," I smiled sheepishly at Alex, "But they don't see any further than that. They don't see that you have human souls. So they can't know that what they do is wrong. They think they are doing a good thing for the planet.' I grimaced. I hoped I was making sense. There was still a respectful silence from all the listeners, so I swallowed and continued.
"I think we need to show them what humans are. I think we need to tell them. They all have human hearts and minds now, as well as Soul ones. They are finding this planet very different in so many ways. They know they don't know everything. Well, maybe they suspect it anyway. If we could show them what they are doing, how it breaks up families, ruins people's lives… If they could understand how humans feel… If they could have been listening tonight… Well, we won't get anywhere if no one understands." Alex smiled at me. I smiled back, let out a breath and sat down. Bhask gave me a hug and grinned.
"That was great!" he said in my ear. I hugged him back with trembling arms. Slowly Alex stood up.
"I am not from here," he began, "But my story is the same as many of yours. I know you wonder at me for bringing a Seeker here. You don't know whether you can trust her. I didn't know either at first." I laughed quietly, thinking of him aiming my gun at me. It seemed so long ago.
"But you have seen her son. He is human, like us. And he is human because of her. She has brought him here so that he can live. But who here is happy with the life we can offer him?" He looked around the circle, and no one looked content.
"Flame offers us a way to try to change that future. Will you be open fisted and accept this gift? Or close fisted and keep fighting a losing war?" He waited until the mutterings died down.
"All she asks for are your words. She makes no promises. But she is prepared to try. We are prepared to try," he said, meeting my eyes. I held his gaze. The cave filled with a low hum of private discussions and arguments around us. Alex walked over to me.
"Are they going to do it?" I asked him, heart in my throat.
"They have to think about it first," he said. I tried not to look disappointed. He gave me a hug, and I found my arms and hugged him back.
"Thanks for your help," I said. He looked a little bashful.
"You didn't need it really. You spoke well," he said. I laughed and shook my head, but Dorsey came up and agreed.
"You did you know," she said, "You showed them that Souls can be human too." I looked at her ruefully. She moved to the side as Edith came forward. I smiled at her, then let go of Alex and gave her a hug. She looked surprised, and pleased.
"Thank you," I said, but couldn't say anything more in case the tears started to fall.
"Both my girls together at last," she sighed happily, looking at Dorsey and me. My eyes narrowed. Dorsey was stealing looks at me from the corner of her eye, almost anxiously. Nobody said anything.
"You're my… you're my sister?" I asked. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. Bhask wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"That's good, isn't it mum," he said firmly. I looked into his stern face and had to smile.
"I guess so," I said finally, and Dorsey looked slightly relieved. Everyone looked relieved.
"You all knew, didn't you!" I said, affronted, "and no one told me!"
"We thought you had enough on your plate," Alex said. But the look in his eyes told me the truth. He was afraid I would turn on my friend like I had on Edith. I felt ashamed . Dorsey smiled at me and I shared it.
"It's really good," I said, sincerely this time.
***
Over the next few days, people began coming up to me and talking. Telling me about themselves, asking about me. The mood seemed to be positive for my idea. Then Flynt came to say goodbye. He was returning home.
"I'll talk about your idea with my people," he said. He hugged Alex quickly and left. He didn't seem to have warmed to me, but perhaps that was just his way. He wasn't particularly warm to Alex either.
One night, another meeting was called. People spoke more briefly. Most people were in favour. Some had reservations. Some just didn't want to be involved. But very few were actually opposed.
"What if they recognize this place? What if we lead them here?"
"We'll need a backdrop. No one could tell where it was filmed then."
"We could paint the backdrop!"
This went on for some time, until one of the elders stood up, and the room quietened.
"Hungry Flame, there are people here who support this project. Those that do not, do not need to be involved. I don't think it will jeopardise the safety of our camp." He waited for others to disagree, but no one did. "What do you need to do to start?"
"Well, we'll need a camera to start with. That's no problem, I'll just need to go into town-"
"We'll need to do that before winter sets in then," Dorsey interrupted, and I was nodding.
Others were chipping in with suggestions, and somehow, it began.