A/N: aha! the length of my chapters have increased! :D
Leonard McCoy had learned to be a patient man. As a doctor, you had to be patient. Now, the things that tended to test his patience were when he ran out of alcohol on a predetermined 'drink night', Kirk's constant antics, people not answering his goddamn questions, and really anything that the green-blooded hobgoblin did.
The last two were currently combined as Celyn trembled in front of him, one hand at her mouth, and all she would say was that she and Spock had kissed.
After the initial shock—he might have even blacked out for a point—he had tried to pry from her the details of said action, including how it happened, when it happened, and who had instigated it. Celyn, however, was panicking to herself.
Her hand fluttered, then settled back at her mouth. "I don't even know how it happened, Leonard. I just…stopped thinking and…"
She shut her eyes against what he was sure were tears. "He said it wasn't a rejection, but…" She took in a shuddering breath. "I don't know what to do. And then he…he actually mentioned the paperwork—"
"Paperwork?" McCoy repeated. "What paperwork?"
"The paperwork that Starfleet would need if…" She blushed. "If he and I decided to pursue a relationship."
For a solid minute, McCoy looked like a floundering fish. "Would you…want to pursue a relationship with him?"
"I…" Her face was a bright scarlet. "I…"
The door to Leonard's office within the sickbay opened, and Nurse Chapel poked her head in. Nurse Chapel and Celyn had been on slightly better terms, though the poor girl didn't understand why. McCoy assumed it was because Chapel no longer felt that the girl was trying for his affections, as Chapel hadn't lectured him on it in quite a while, and the fact that Celyn was willing to die to save him and the others during that parasite incident probably helped to smooth things over as well.
"Mercy, do you have a minute?" asked Chapel. "The captain wants to speak with you."
"Oh." Celyn smoothed the front of her uniform. "Sure, sure."
"We'll talk later," said McCoy, giving her a meaningful look.
"Captain, you wanted to see me?" Celyn fidgeted slightly. She'd never been in his quarters before, and for some odd reason she wondered if she was in trouble. Had he heard of her and Spock's…situation? Was he going to scold her? Give her a lecture on the irrationality of inter-ship romances?
"Mercy!"
Kirk did something then that stunned her completely. He laughed boisterously and then hugged her. "Mercy, I have the greatest news. Why didn't you tell me you had a sister?"
"Uh, wha—"
"Never mind that now, Mercy. I just finished speaking to Admiral Pike. You'll never guess. They've found your sister!"
"They…what?" Celyn pulled back from the captain to look at his face. Was this a joke?
"Your sister? Elysia, isn't it? The Federation's found her! Pike has been searching for a little while now, and—"
"They've found…" Celyn felt tears going to her eyes.
"He just gave me the coordinates. We can leave now!"
"But why would you…" Why would you do this for me?
"Our only mission is to explore the universe. The coordinates are off the beaten path, so technically we're still exploring." Kirk grinned. "Plus I've never been one to follow orders to the letter…besides," he shrugged, still with that wide, blinding smile, "you're a friend."
Her hand flew to her mouth, overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude. "Captain, I—"
"No need to thank me!" said Kirk. "We're friends, Mercy, and I'm your captain. Just be happy."
Celyn suddenly leaped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. She thanked him anyway, and then said into his neck, "I am happy. So happy. Captain, you don't know how much this means—"
She was interrupted by the whooshing sound of an opening door and someone clearing their throat. Celyn pulled away again, a brilliant smile lighting her face—God, how long had it been since she's smiled like this—and was greeted by Spock's stern, emotionless gaze.
No, not emotionless. He looked almost…angry.
"Mr. Spock!" called Kirk exuberantly. "Celyn here has the most wonderful news—"
"Perhaps another time, Captain," Spock interrupted. "If I'm not…interrupting, I have something important to discuss with you. Perhaps I should…" His gaze never left Celyn's. He's definitely angry. Why? "…come back another time."
He turned on his heel and left without another word. Celyn opened and closed her mouth. "Captain…"
"Oh, he's probably just in one of his moods." Kirk waved it away. "Don't take it personally."
But… But she did take it personally, because she had a sneaking suspicion that it was about her.
Which would explain why she now stood outside of Spock's quarters, feeling all kinds of awkward, waiting for him to open the door and let her in.
"I have no desire to speak with you right now, Lieutenant," he said once the door slid open.
She winced immediately at his use of her title. I thought we'd moved past that? "Spock, please…What have I done?"
"Nothing, Lieutenant."
"Please…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "Don't lie to me. Why are you…" Why are you treating me like this?
"If you'll excuse me, Lieutenant, I'm very busy."
Spock moved to close the door, Celyn's eyes shining with hurt, but she pushed him back and stepped into his quarters. "No. Tell me what I've done, Spock, please."
"Perhaps, before you get offended, you should think more carefully before you act," he snapped at her. The comment and his tone were reminiscent of the very first comment he'd made to her, and she recoiled.
"What's changed?" Celyn demanded suddenly. "What changed between now and what you said to me just a few hours ago—"
"I realized the stupidity of my own words. You were not honest with me about your feelings for the captain."
"You saw my thoughts, Spock!"
"I also saw you with the captain."
"Y-You…" She gaped at him, heart pounding. "You're being irrational!" Never thought I'd ever say that to him…
"Celyn…" He looked about to turn away from her, sounding reserved, and suddenly she felt like she was losing him before he'd even been hers. I really care about him. She lunged forward awkwardly and grabbed his hand.
"Please, Spock, d-don't pull away from me now." A tear coursed down her cheek. Why does he…why does he matter so much to me? When did he start mattering so much? "I don't know what I'd…"
He pulled away from her grip, much to her dismay, but the contact wasn't lost for long. He grasped her shoulders with both hands, pushing her against the now-closed door. "Why are you so adamant about this when your affections lie elsewhere?"
"Forget the captain, my affections lie with you!" She clapped a hand over her mouth as soon as she said it, watching his reaction carefully, terrified that she had said the wrong thing.
He removed the hand that covered her mouth, placing his hand over hers so that their fingertips touched. "Do you know what this is, Celyn?"
She shook her head weakly, his touch sending fire through her veins. "No."
"This is a Vulcan kiss," he said, his voice suddenly gentle. "I apologize for upsetting you. My…human emotions get the best of me, quite often, when I am in your presence." He rested his forehead against hers, as she stared up at him with wide eyes. This was a completely new side of the man. "It is something I have never experienced."
"You've never…"
"I believe that's what I stated, Celyn." His breath ghosted across her face. He seemed almost amused. Well that's certainly a switch.
"Not even with…"
"The situation with Uhura was…vastly different."
Celyn's mind began racing, comparing herself to Uhura. She wasn't as pretty as Uhura, as daring, as strong, as clever, as intelligent—
"Cease those thoughts immediately," Spock's voice sounded in her ear, and she realized he could still sense her thoughts through their touching hands.
He broadcasted his thoughts to her again, reminding her of the mind meld, the emotion she had felt from him, and the word that stuck in her mind was beautiful.
I wasn't good enough for the captain, why would I be—
"Celyn." Spock growled her name. "Cease at once. It is utterly irrational for those to be your thoughts."
Even as he said that, another thought occurred to her. "Spock," she asked slowly. "What does T'hy'la mean?"
He pulled back from her slightly. "Where did you hear that word?"
"N-Nowhere." Celyn averted her eyes. "It doesn't matter. I have to head to the bridge, my shift starts soon." She turned away, but Spock suddenly cupped her cheek.
"I worry, Celyn, that you found our first…Terran kiss, as it were, unsatisfactory."
"It was rushed," she said quickly, "I just wasn't sure if you'd push me away—"
"I assure you, in that instant I was not thinking of pushing you away." His lips pressed to hers, and she whimpered as her limbs turned to jelly. His firm grip on her shoulders kept her from falling, and she clutched at the fabric of his uniform with a sense of desperation and elation. "Go," he said, pulling back from her even as she followed. "You said your shift begins soon."
"Spock." His name was an exhale. "The captain, what the captain was talking to me about—"
"Yes?"
"They've found Elysia, Spock." The smile on Celyn's face was wider than she thought she'd ever smiled in her life. "Captain Kirk is taking me to my sister."
She would find Elysia. Jim Kirk had called her a friend. Spock had kissed her. Nothing would be wrong again.
Dear Elysia,
I'll be seeing you soon. Captain Kirk, the wonderful man that he is, is taking me to see you. The Federation has found you, sooner than I thought possible. This might be the last entry before I speak to you, face to face.
I don't think I've ever been quite so ecstatic.
I have so much more to tell you than I can ever fit in a page.
I'm not sure if I know what it means to love a man. I was sure I loved the captain. Recently, however, I have been made aware that my true feelings, the core of my heart, lies with another man…
Is it love when I constantly think of him? Is it love when the thought of losing him makes it hard to breathe?
I don't know what love it, sister, but perhaps he can teach me.
Ironically, Commander Spock is half-Vulcan, Elysia. Doesn't that just seem silly after what I've told you?
Celyn set her pen down with a smile, halfway through her entry. She was rambling she knew, but it was hard to focus with Spock sitting in the corner playing his lute, the music drifting into her joy-fogged mind. He stopped playing and stood, allowing his fingers to lightly drag along her wrist.
"Have you obtained the paperwork from Captain Kirk?" he asked.
She looked up and blinked. "I thought you were going to get that."
"I was under the impression your mind was not made up on the subject." If Vulcans could look happy without compromising their emotional control, she was sure their faces would look like his right now. "Does this mean you are in agreement?"
"Can you…" She blushed, clearing her throat. "Can you ask me to be in a relationship the way a human would?"
"Does the act of asking mean something?"
"Yes."
She expected more of an argument, or at least more questions, but he simply nodded. "What is your middle name?"
"R-Renata, why—"
"If I am to do this, it will be done properly for you." He tilted her head up to look at him. His brown eyes were softer, the expression she ate up like a starving woman. "Celyn Renata Mercy, if it pleases you—"
The door suddenly whooshed open, and Celyn heard the booming shout of her captain cutting through Spock's soothing, quiet voice: "Mercy! We've arrived at the planet, the message from Pike said Elysia's on an agricultural settlement—" Jim Kirk froze in the room, staring at the looming figure of Spock touching Celyn in a manner much more tender than Kirk had seen. It was reminiscent of the way he'd touched Uhura, but… "I can personally attest that she won't break, Mr. Spock. Now, I'll inquire about this later, but first off…" He beamed at Celyn. "You have a family reunion to attend, don't you, Mercy?"
The little village was just so cute. The elder, a small-framed old woman, had only to hear Celyn's name and instantly launched into stories of Elysia's arrival on the colonized planet.
"Her adopted father was a doctor here. He knew he'd been assigned to this colony, his wife had just died, and she had been unable to have children. He adopted her shortly after you were separated. She talked of you often for the first few years. After that her memories became a bit muddled." The elder woman chuckled, her whole body moving. "A sweet little thing, Elysia. She has a son in town, Maverick. He should be about a year old now."
With McCoy on her right, Jim on her left, and Spock behind her, Celyn was practically bouncing. "May I see her now? Where is she now?"
"She now resides on the other side of the hill, just past the temple, but—"
"Thank you," Celyn interrupted, a smile tearing at her features. "If you don't mind, I—"
Kirk laughed at her eagerness. "Go ahead, Mercy, go."
She left the elder's home at a run, Spock's long legged stride just barely keeping up with her after a quick, "We shouldn't let her go alone," from McCoy.
Just past the temple, my sister's house—
When Spock caught up after she turned a corner, however, he found the young woman had sunk to her knees. "Celyn?"
Celyn's eyes had glossed over as she stared straight ahead at the simple rectangular headstone.
McCoy and Kirk weren't far behind. Kirk frowned at Celyn's back, but McCoy knew the signs of her breakdown almost immediately. He rushed forward, pushing past a frozen Spock, and wrapped her in a hug. Only after this motion did their eyes also register the grave.
"Oh God, Celyn," murmured McCoy into her hair. "I'm sorry."
That broke the spell—and broke Celyn. She collapsed into a sobbing heap, clutching at McCoy. "Leonard, Leonard, it's not fair, it's not fair—"
"I know, kid, I know. Let it out."
She did. She cried and sobbed and screamed until, limp and spent, she allowed the three men to take her to a local inn. McCoy was intending on allowing her to sleep. When they realized there was a tavern on the first floor of the inn, Kirk made a joke about having a drink. To McCoy's immense surprise, she agreed.
"We can stay here as long as you want," said Kirk. "I told the crew that we're checking up on a Federation colony.
Celyn only nodded and downed another shot glass of what McCoy was calling "closest thing to Scotch not on Earth". He told her that first thing tomorrow, they'd go back and talk with that elderly woman again. Again, his only response was a nod. Kirk sighed as Leonard led a drunk and freshly teary-eyed Celyn up to her room.
"I figured that would be your job now," said Kirk, nodding in her direction.
"I don't understand your meaning, Captain," the other man said gruffly.
"I mean, since you and Mercy are a thing now—"
"Dr. McCoy has known her longer…" The half-Vulcan shifted a little in his seat. "I admit, I was unsure of what to do…"
"She just found out her sister is dead. Do exactly what Bones did: comfort her."
Spock set up the stairs soon after that, having not had a drink to start with anyway. Leonard stopped him outside the rooms they had rented—there were two—with a steady look. "She's been asking for you. I'd planned to stay with her, let you and Jim share the other room, but…" He took a step closer to the other man. "If you do anything inappropriate to her, there'll be hell to pay."
"Understood, Doctor."
"I hope you do." Leonard didn't look too happy at all. "For her sake and for yours."
Spock entered the small room slowly, peering around in the dark for Celyn.
"Spock?" she called, rolling over in the bed. Aside from slightly slurred speech, she sounded lucid.
"You were asking for me, Celyn?" He closed the door behind him.
"Come here." She held out her arms, and even with the lack of light, he could see it. "Please?"
Her voice was thick from crying, and as he stepped closer, he said, "I'm not sure what good I can do for you, Celyn."
"Just…" Her words caught. "Just hold me, Spock, like Leonard did, please…"
He hesitated before placing a hand on her shoulder. She was trembling, and at his touch, she grabbed for his hand. "Please, please…"
"Celyn…I fear I cannot."
"Why?" she sobbed. "I need you. Please, please I…"
But he was already gone. He retrieved the doctor, who glared at him fiercely and grumbled, "'course, can never leave anything up to you damn hobgoblin, I oughta have Jim send you back to the damn ship…" before proceeding to head into her room and soothe the distraught young woman. Spock headed prematurely into the room he would share with the captain now, decided that perhaps it was best if he meditated.
When Jim came into the room and found his first officer sitting on the floor with a concentrated expression, still barely buzzed, he sighed again. "What'd she want you to do?"
Spock hesitated, opening one eye. "I believe the terminology she used was 'hold me'."
"And you couldn't do it?"
"No. I find myself unable to…be that close to her."
"Is it uncomfortable for you?"
"No."
"Then…"
"I begin to think of things unfit for a man in my position."
A smirk tugged at the corner of Kirk's mouth. "You want to sleep with her."
"Captain—" Spock sighed. "I was hoping that meditation would cure me of these thoughts. I cannot comfort her until they go away. I worry she will resent me for my shortcoming."
Kirk shrugged. "You'll have to deal with it in the morning. You may just have to suck it up. Her sister's dead, and tomorrow we have to ask about her nephew, what was his name, Maverick. It's going to be hard for her. You need to be there, or whatever I saw between you two in her quarters will never happen again."
For once, Spock would admit that his captain was speaking extremely rationally. This was a day to mark in his calendar.
A/N: so Spock and Celyn are kindof a thing, but really, who would expect Spock to NOT be awkward in a relationship? and if you've noticed, they're not official yet...poor Celyn and Elysia :(