Sherlock had been working on his analysis all morning. He just couldn't get it right.
"John was comfortable happy enjoying my company probably influenced to sleep peacefully by my presence."
"GAH!" Sherlock shouted in frustration.
"Urgent help needed. Severely sick. –SH"
When Lestrade read his phone, he rolled his eyes. "Don't you live with an exceptionally good doctor? Ask him."
"No –SH"
"And why not? I'm pretty sure he can fix up whatever you're coming down with."
"I only feel sick around him –SH"
Lestrade couldn't believe his eyes. He was reading the text again and again. Was Sherlock Holmes being.. sappy?
"My god, you're like a lovesick teenager"
"Lovesick? What are you going on about? –SH"
"Figure it out, genius." Lestrade smirked at his reply and pocketed his phone.
"Mrs. Hudson?" Sherlock said as he knocked on the door.
Mrs. Hudson opened the door and said, "oh, hello. What brings you here?"
"I think I'm ill"
"Oh, come in then. When is John coming home?"
"Never," Sherlock mumbled.
"What's that?"
"Nothing."
"So what you're saying is," Mrs. Hudson said and took a sip of her tea. "You feel strange and ill but only when John's around?"
"To summarise my entire story, yes."
Mrs. Hudson stared at Sherlock and started laughing. Laughing! The nerve of that woman…
"Sherlock, dear. I think you should go upstairs and wait for John to come home," she said through her giggles.
"Only you can fix this, I'm afraid. Ta," she said and led Sherlock out her door.
So much for her help then.
It was his only hope. He had to try it.
.org
Sherlock searched all his symptoms. Abdominal pain, shortness of breath, heart palpitations.
After that short but horrifying experience, Sherlock learned he may need to get a check-up for food poisoning, menstrual cramps, constipation, heart failure, brain tumour, mouth cancer. Hopefully he would live long enough to set up a meeting with his doctor.
"John, please come home. –SH" No. Too needy.
"John, come home. –SH" Too demanding.
"John, I require your assistance for my experiment. ASAP. –SH" Perfect.
Bah, children. John never found it fun to examine children. Sometimes there were nice, quiet ones, but they were often screaming and crying. John was relieved that the mother decided to go home. He finally had a breather. After a took a sip from his mug, he checked his texts and laughed.
"I'm at work." he replied to the ridiculous text his flatmate sent him. The reply came almost instantly.
"Finish faster. –SH"
"What do you need me for?"
"You're a doctor. I'm ill. Come home and doctor me. –SH"
John laughed and replied "I cannot just come home and 'doctor' you. Plus, I'm on my break."
"I think I'm dying. –SH"
God, John could almost hear the exasperation in Sherlock's text.
"Fine. Symptoms?"
"I think I may have cancer. –SH"
"What? Sherlock, you can't just wake up and think you have cancer. Symptoms."
"Abdominal pain, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, dizziness, and headaches. But only when they're around. –SH"
"How can you be feeling all of that without me noticing? And they? Who is 'they?'"
"I just feel those when they're around. –SH"
"You are making no sense. I'll be home before dinner."
Great. Now even his doctor wouldn't listen to him.
Sherlock was lying on the couch when he heard the door downstairs open.
"John!" Sherlock shouted and bounced up to meet him at the door. "I told you I had—Oh."
"Wasn't who you were expecting, little brother? My, your hearing skills have deteriorated." Mycroft said as he let himself in the living room.
"What do you want, Mycroft? Piss off."
"Now why would I 'piss off' after hearing that my brother was 'severely ill?'" Mycroft said with a snicker.
"Who—Ugh, stop shagging Scotland Yard. I've had enough headaches this week." Sherlock said with a disgusted look on his face.
"What's wrong, Sherlock? You're not usually this.. calm" Mycroft said before sitting on the couch. He expected this to be a long conversation.
"I am perfectly fine."
"Oh, yeah," Mycroft said "and I'm the queen of England. I didn't come all the way here if I knew you were fine."
"Aren't you the queen though?"
"Sherlock" Mycroft said as he looked intently at his brother.
"Oh alright!" Sherlock said exasperated and dropped on the couch. "Say 'bye' to mummy for me. I may have cancer."
"Sherlock, that is the most ridiculous—"
"I'm serious!" Sherlock cut in and waved his hands in the air. "I even checked that bloody doctor's website."
Mycroft frowned. "You do know that more than half of the things on that website are serious cases, right? Even you should know that."
"Then how do you explain my symptoms? I've been like this for days!"
"Oh, I think I know perfectly well what you're feeling"
"Liar." Sherlock said and pointed a finger at him. "You're doing it again aren't you? That thing you did when we were kids. Acting all high and mightly. Thinking you know what's going on all the time."
Mycroft ignored all of this and said, "do you or do you not only feel these 'symptoms' in the presence of Doctor Watson?"
"Do you hack Lestrade's phone or does he willingly give you information?"
"Answer the question, Sherlock." Mycroft said.
"Yes! Happy?" Sherlock said and curled himself on the couch.
"Ecstatic. Now," Mycroft said as he stood and adjusted the position of his umbrella. "I'll leave you to it."
"What," and Sherlock shot up from his place on the couch. "You did not just come here to hear my answer to that. What are you hiding, Mycroft." Sherlock said. It was more of a demand than a question.
"Really, brother," he said with a smirk. "I didn't know you were capable of such… sentiment."
"What are you trying to say?" Sherlock said in a low tone.
"You, my dear brother," he said and looked Sherlock in the eye, "are in love"
Sherlock froze. His heart (oh god, he had one!) froze in his chest.
"Goodbye, brother." Mycroft said as he made his way to the door. "Do tell Doctor Watson that I said 'hi.'" With that, Mycroft left a frozen and gaping Sherlock.
Guess that solved his problem.
A/N: I apologise that this took so long for me to finish! I wanted it to be exceptionally good since it was the 'analysis' portion :) hope you enjoyed!