Reader Beware this chapter is a whole lot longer than the previous chapters. By like 9 times at least.

Enjoy!

Journal Entry 10-

I can't believe what happened last night.

Today is the day that Ace is supposed to leave so yesterday we had a feast to say goodbye…

Yesterday

The day started out relatively normal. I got out of my mat and looked around at the people that lived with us. I picked up what mess I could and threw it out, and then proceeded to raid the previous nights' extras for breakfast.

I shoved what food I could salvage into my mouth and was about to walk out the door when it swung inwards and hit me right in my stuffed mouth. I fell over, looking at the lost food that had spewed from my mouth sadly. I was still counting my losses until I heard a guffaw from above.

"Any other girl would be concerned about her personal appearance instead of dwelling on the food on the floor."

I looked up to see the smug face of Ace bent over staring at me. From this angle I could count every freckle on his face, take note of every ripple in his muscles, watch his hair delicately drape around his face.

I thought about what he said and then realized that from this angle he could see straight down my shirt and when I followed his eyes I saw that that was exactly what he was doing. My face colored.

I pulled my foot back and was about to place a well aimed kick in his crotch region when Dadan yelled, "Get out! You're making too much noise!"

I glared at Ace, picked up my blades, a piece of meat that fell to the floor and made sure that I gave his shoulder a hard shove as I walked past.

I headed to the forest to check on Toraka and to make sure that she is eating well when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw a certain man with a certain ridiculous piece of headwear following me. He was about to say something when I paused time and ran off.

Didn't he have anything better to do than bother me, I thought as I unpaused time near Toraka's den. I thought about all the times that he would randomly show up and mess with me, when he would poke fun at the things I did, when he would tell me how to do something better, when he would take over something I was doing, when he would warn me not to do something, when he would look at me after a fight…

I shook my head to get rid of that last thought. Sure, I would really miss him when he left, I always needed someone to laugh at, but I would still have Luffy. But that wasn't the feeling that I felt when I saw him this morning. I kept thinking.

What was that look he had on his face when he tried to talk to me in the forest? Thinking back, it definitely wasn't antagonistic. It was actually kind of concerned looking. It was a look that I only caught when he didn't think that I was looking.

It was a look that sent shivers down my spine, like that first time we fought, like I felt every time we exchanged fists.

It was a good feeling I got from that one glance, from every single one of the pulled punches we threw at each other.

It was a good feeling I got each time he teased me for something, told me I was wrong, showed me how to do it right.

It was a good feeling I got each time I saw him, smirking about some inside joke he shares with himself.

It was a good feeling I got each time I thought about him.

"Toraka," I said, addressing the tiger that had her head on my lap. "Am I crazy for thinking like this towards Ace? Could I actually be attracted to the punk?"

"I sure hope so," I heard behind me.

I turned around so suddenly to the face of Portgas D. Ace, so close that I could feel him breathing through his nose.

I jumped up, startling Toraka, who responded by bounding off into the brush.

"Some friend you are!" I screamed into the distance. "Abandoning me with a crazed lunatic…"

Ace grabbed my wrists and pinned me to a nearby tree, stepping on my feet slightly so I couldn't move.

"Do you really think that I'm a crazed lunatic?" he asked.

I looked him dead in the eye as we always would when we were younger, but the gaze he returned was gentle. I had to turn away.

"I need to ask you something."

Crap! I think. I can't time warp!

Ace closed his eyes for longer than a standard blink before he opened them.

"How do you feel about me?"

I looked back at him, unable to answer.

Ace looked down as his hands move from my wrists and intertwined with my fingers. He got off of my feet and then smirked.

"I don't know how you feel about me but seeing as you haven't warped away since I loosened my hold on you," he started, "you want to know how I feel about you."

"Silvers D. Kai," he started," there was a time where I hated you and all that you represented, being the daughter of that man's first mate. But when I saw you bring in that cub out of guilt for slaughtering its mother, my view of you completely changed.

"I saw how hard you worked for everything, how you always trained to get better, how you always waited until everyone else ate and then proceeded to eat the remains, how you raised that cub to be a good tiger like no one expected.

"I saw how much everything else mattered to you no matter how futile it might have been, but everything just seemed worthwhile once you succeeded."

Ace smiled then and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. He leaned in even closer until our foreheads touched.

"Uh, Ace…"

"Kai," Ace whispered. "I love you."

I gasped right before he pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was gentle and I couldn't help but fall into it. He wrapped his hands around my waist as I put my hands around his neck and pulled him closer until we reached that perfect angle.

We were like that for about fifteen seconds until my eyes shot open, realizing what was happening.

The next thing Ace knew, I was gone.

I couldn't face him. Now that I knew how he felt, my true feelings were clearer and I couldn't accept it. I wanted him to stay so badly, but I knew that it would be holding him down. But what would I have to be to him in order to have the right to tell him what he should do?

I know that I didn't love him. I had hardly gotten over not hating him so it was impossible to have fallen for him that quickly.

But I definitely did not hate him. Not him. Not his outfit or his jokes or his muscles or his attitude or his freckles. He was annoying but it was his charm.

One thing was for sure though: I won't be able to tell anything unless he stays.

I went back to Dadan's house and cleaned. Ace wasn't around; there were too many people on the island that he mattered to and needed to say goodbye to. I went down to Makino's and asked for a glass of grog. She eyed me funny but when she saw my depressed state she poured me some.

"It looks like someone is finally reciprocating poor Ace's feelings after so long," she said from over the counter.

"Huh?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Ever since you came here you were always the only thing on Ace's mind. I mean, he used to hate you, but whenever he came in here you were the only thing that he would talk about." Makino grinned and continued, "It started with simple irritation and how you couldn't do anything his way and how you were Silvers' daughter. And then it became a confused admiration of you that was also dribbled with jealousy. He didn't know why you were so simple but so complicated at the same time.

"And then it went to just talking about what I thought you would think about something. I always told him to just ask you but he always said that was a stupid idea."

"Pretty stupid," I agreed half-heartedly.

Makino kept at it, "It was only recently that he actually came to terms with his feelings for you."

I looked up at her.

"A few months ago, he came in here in a rage because of something that you told Luffy about. He downed a dozen glasses of grog before he said, 'What's wrong with me? It's just a story about her past! Why did it get me so worked up?'"

I thought about it and then remembered that a few months ago Luffy asked me about the bandana around my arm. I told him about Kuina and Zoro and my training. I didn't even think that Ace had heard, let alone that he had even cared.

"Makino," I started. "I don't think I love him."

"Of course you don't, you only discovered that you even liked him at all in about a day. You may in the future, but it just may not be time for that right now. But," Makino said solemnly, "today is his last day here, so you need to tell him what you do feel as soon as possible."

I left the bar and went to the shore to take a nap in the sunshine. I looked at the clouds approaching in the east before I fell asleep.

I woke up right after the sun set and headed back to the bar for the party. It was already filled with people, wishing Ace well; giving him things he needed and wanted.

Ace was dressed as usual, his skin giving off a pinkish tinge from overdrinking even though it was still quite early.

I walked in quietly and stood against a back wall, taking in the revelry from a distance. I watched the people associate and talk and have a jolly good time. I sat with a few people from the village that I didn't know and downed a few glasses of grog before heading out of the room into the alleyway behind.

I can't do this, I thought. I stood at the back of the building, breathing in the fresh air. I can't watch him so happy without being sent into a depression myself.

I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the ground, listening to the night sounds emanating around me, from the loud howling wind to the coyote calls, from the hooting owl to the scorpion crawling along the ground. I picked it up by the stinger and hung it upside down before throwing it over the fence.

I got back up and walked along the alley and looked up at the tall building next to the bar. Makino owned both this inn and the bar and quite often the customers were regulars at both. I saw the mysterious silhouettes against the curtains and had to turn away in order to keep my grog down. I was ready to leave when I heard an irritating voice behind me.

"Kai!" Ace cried as he saw me walking away.

I turned around, doing all in my power not to warp away and to actually do like Makino said.

"Hey! I saw you in the bar but when I was going to go up to you, you left," he said concerned. He was still a little pink in the face from the alcohol. Or maybe from me.

"What's it matter if I'm gone? You're the man of the hour," I pointed out.

Ace didn't laugh so apparently he had sobered up in the night air. "Luffy made a mess in there so the party is over. Most of my stuff is in the inn right now anyway so I was going to go there."

I was a little disappointed. "You're staying in the inn tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah," Ace agreed. "Dadan kicked me out for choosing to become a pirate. I haven't been there for a week or so now. I only visit at night and come in the morning to…"

Ace stopped, blushing.

"To what?" I asked.

Ace looked me in the eye. "To make sure that you went to bed safely and that nothing happened to you during the night."

I looked down, blushing.

"Ka-" Ace began before a blaring alarm sound went off.

"Attention. Please head indoors. There is an unexpected rainstorm heading this direction. Very dangerous winds are expected so please remain indoors until the storm abates. Thank you."

I looked at Ace. I'd never get to tell him now. I looked down and started heading out the alley when Ace took my arm and pulled me into the inn. He ran me up the stairs and into the top room where he opened the door and shoved me inside a clean room.

I was almost infuriated when I saw the rain pouring outside of the room window. I walked over and watched hypnotized. I stood like that for a while when I felt muscular arms wrap around my shoulders.

"A-ace…"

"I need you Kai," Ace said, nestling his face in my neck, kissing it every so often. "Do you need me?"

One of Ace's hands pulled at the knot around my waist, dropping my blades to the ground. His other went up my tank top, feeling my hips and waist.

I grabbed both of his hands and turned around.

"Yes."

This morning, Ace held my hand as we walked down to the pier.

It was very awkward. For me at least.

Every so often, Ace would look down at me and grin. It made me cringe on the inside, but I smiled back anyways.

When we reached the dock, Ace turned toward me and grinned.

"Well, I'm going now," he said sadly.

"Yeah…" I looked down, letting go of his hand.

Ace's smile fell. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"It's about last night, isn't it?" he asked. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you into something like that. But Kai-" He paused.

I looked back up.

"Kai, I love you," he pleaded, looking into my eyes. "I couldn't leave without you understanding that. Can't you see that?"

"I-I see," I said. "But I don't know if I reciprocate."

Ace's gaze dropped. "You… You don't…"

"It's not that I don't like you," I said quickly. "I see now that I really care for you. That I have these feelings for you that I hadn't even realized could have existed. But now that you're leaving, how can I ever really know if what I feel is love if you aren't here?"

"Then come with me!" he cried, grabbing my arm. "Come with me and I'll sail with you forever! I'll sail with you to the ends of the earth! To the end of time! Just come and be with me."

I looked at him, square in the eye. "Ace. You say until the end of time?" I asked. "I am time. I can't inhibit your dream when I don't even know who I am, why I am, and what I'm supposed to be. How can I love someone when I don't know who the person is that loves them? How can I give myself to someone if I don't know what it is I'm giving them? I don't want to put you in this dilemma."

Ace hugged me. "Kai-"

"I'm sorry, Ace," I said, wrapping my arms around him, "for not being able to come, for not being able to be there for you, and for not realizing beforehand how much you matter to me. But I only had one day. I can't make a decision like this."

Ace held me tighter as I looked up at him.

"Goodbye Ace," I said sadly. "Maybe we'll meet in the future on the seas. Maybe then I'll be ready."

"I sure hope so," he said as he leaned in, kissing me.

We were like that for a few seconds when we both heard a loud cry.

"Aaaaaaaaaaace!"

We quickly separated as Luffy sprinted down the dock.

"Oh, good! You didn't leave yet!" he said. Then he turned toward me. "Hey, you're already here, Kai? Where were you last night?"

I blushed as I whispered, "Out," but he didn't even hear me, he was so busy talking to Ace.

After awhile, Ace looked at both of us.

"Well, I guess it's time for me to go," he said, holding his hat.

Luffy just grinned. "That's okay! Kai and I'll see you in the ocean someday! Just you wait and see!"

Ace and I turned to each other, and then looked at Luffy and grinned. Luffy put his left fist out.

"Let's all promise to see each other out on the high seas!" he said.

Ace put his fist in the center. "Promise."

They looked at me, waiting. I looked at my hand and slowly made it into a fist.

"Promise," I said as my fist joined theirs.

Today, I have dark brown hair, big, swollen, dark brown eyes, a cut over my left eyebrow, a journal attached to my wrist, a memorial bandana around my arm, and a promise on my left fist.

Silvers D. Kai

15 years old

1519 AOP