A/N: Chapter title is from "Back Against the Wall" by Cage the Elephant.
I am so tired, guys. And sore. I had a really bad day, and now I think I have to start my medical leave early, which really sucks because that's just a hassle getting work to approve those days. So I'm stressed. Fun.
Anyway, this chapter was a pain, too. I had it going in a completely different direction, went back and wrote a new part, then ditched the second half of the chapter, and wrote it differently. Ugh. What a pain.
But this is probably the most light-hearted chapter xD
Reviews are love! And motivate me to update :D
PS: it's storming outside for the first time at my new apartment. The power went out (I think) while I was at work last night. The time above the stove is flashing and it's usually not. Haven't gone to look at my alarm clock to make sure yet though. Blargh. And the 'trouble' alarm is going off in the hallway outside my apartment. I dunno about it. Wish me luck.
Chapter length: 6730
Onward!
Chapter Ten: Sink My Teeth in Deep
"I hope you know what you're doing."
The words are soft and quiet, but startle him nevertheless. He thought he was being discrete, sneaking back aboard the Tempest halfway through the night. He thought everyone would be asleep, but there stands Vetra Nyx, configuring something in the cargo bay. Her eyes watch him carefully, and he smiles nervously.
"Uh… what do you mean?" he asks.
"Reyes Vidal," Vetra says pointedly. The name sends a flutter in Scott's heart. "I hope you know what you're doing with him."
He exhales sharply through his nose. "Uh… we're not…"
"I know you like him," Vetra tells him. "And he likes you. I'm not stupid; I can see what's happening. I just hope you know what you're doing."
"Why do you say that?" Scott asks, because there's no point in trying to deny it again. He's not sure how Vetra knows, but she does. Maybe they weren't as discrete as they thought. Does she know they had sex once, in Tartarus' back room? Does she know they kissed again, on the rooftops, hot and heavy and passionate? Does she know just thinking about Reyes makes his heart race? How good are turians' hearing, again?
"He's a smuggler," she says.
"So are you," he argues, scowling. "I don't hold it against you."
"I'm just saying – I know his type. I don't want you to get hurt."
He swallows thickly. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."
"Reyes is a liar, and a cheat," Vetra says.
"You don't know him," Scott argues.
"I know his type. I'm just saying – be careful, Ryder."
"Thanks for the concern," he says through gritted teeth, "but I can handle myself. I'm a big boy."
She nods. "I just hope you know what you're doing."
With that, she leaves him alone, and he's left staring after her, his heart clenching painfully.
It's nothing.
He's just – having fun with Reyes. Releasing stress, relaxing, like everyone keeps telling him to do. They should be happy about that, right? But now Vetra is concerned. Because he's – what? Seeing Reyes? No, that's not the correct term, that makes it sound like they're dating and they most definitely aren't. They're just – blowing off steam together. That's it.
They're just relaxing.
There's nothing to worry about.
He makes his way to his quarters, the taste of Reyes and alcohol still on his lips.
xXx
The Tempest is quiet at night. Scott's always liked the quiet, especially these days when it seems so much is always happening at once, all around him. The down time is few and far between. As much as he got bored earlier, he still likes the quiet of the ship at night when everyone is asleep.
He's certain someone is awake, but the halls are empty as he walks them. He can't sleep; he has trouble with it all the time these days. Lexi won't give him any more sedatives; she says he needs to find a better coping mechanism, and a more natural way to sleep. He has no idea what she wants him to do; he can't sleep because of the stress and worries about the future and the fight to come. How can he fix that? How can he fix it so he can sleep naturally again?
That one night with Reyes helped, a part of him whispers. He can't help but agree. Reyes certainly tired him out, and he slept so soundly in Tartarus' back room.
But that can't happen again.
He and Reyes kissed (a few times) but that doesn't mean anything. He can't afford emotional entanglements right now.
You're already attached, his mind says. There's no point denying it.
He's not attached. He's just having fun. That's all. That's all it can be.
But what if it's more…
It can't be, he tells himself firmly. He relaxed, for SAM's benefit, mostly. SAM asked him to relax for him, and he knows his own stress is taking its toll on the AI. SAM can only regulate his systems so much without it putting a strain on his own capabilities. Scott will never endanger the AI, so he'll relax, and SAM asked him to.
But that's not the only reason, is it?
He likes Reyes. More than he should.
That's why it can't happen again.
But you're thinking of him right now.
Shut up, Mind. I don't need your input.
SAM is quiet at the moment, and Scott chooses not to think of that.
Instead, he decides to take a trip to the cargo bay, and tire himself out the old fashioned way – with good old exercise.
He's twenty minutes into his new, fast-paced routine when his omni-tool pings, telling him he has a new message. He sighs, and stops the biotic barrier he'd created. It might be important, since the message is coming this late. Even by Nexus standards.
He switches on his omni-tool and starts reading the message.
Are you up? – Reyes Vidal
He stares at the message long and hard. He just left Reyes two hours ago, after they climbed down from the rooftops. It was a good day, all in all. It's always a good day with Reyes. That's why it's so dangerous to be talking to him.
Scott wants to answer – he really does. He wants to say yes, he is awake, and what does Reyes need? Does he want to see him again?
He wants to see Reyes again.
That's why he ignores the message, and shuts down his omni-tool.
The workout routine doesn't distract him as much as he hoped.
xXx
Two days later, he's not avoiding Reyes so much as he just hasn't left the ship. It's driving him a little crazy, being trapped inside again, but he's keeping busy with the crew when he can. Many are enjoying their little 'shore leave' while they wait for information on the Archon, and this 'Meridian', so they're not on the ship as much, but when they are, they all get together for poker.
Gil wins. Always.
Gil also sends him embarrassing poetry about Scott losing so horribly, and Gil finding his life's purpose. Scott swears he'll beat him one day; Gil just laughs.
SAM says he could help Scott win, but he's not going to cheat. He'll beat Gil Brodie fair and square at his own game one day, even if it's months, years, from now.
Thinking about the future is… difficult. It means accepting his role as Pathfinder, and he's still just not sure he can do that yet. He's doing okay, sure, but that's with a lot of help. It's not just him. He'd be nothing if not for SAM, and Cora, and all the rest of his crew. His successes aren't just his. It's a team effort all around.
And when he thinks about the future… he thinks of being Pathfinder a year from now, and what that will be like, and a part of him just internally freaks out about it. SAM still won't let him have that panic attack, so he's been trying to curb his emotions by distracting himself. He works out with Liam and Jaal, gambles with Vetra and Gil, and practices his biotics with Cora. His drinking tolerance with Drack is 'getting better, for a squishy human', according to the old krogan. He'll take that as a compliment.
So. He's not avoiding Reyes.
He's just busy, and hasn't left the ship.
When he does leave the ship, though, the smuggler is waiting for him.
A smile spreads across Scott's face before he realizes what's happening. He doesn't try to curb it. "You are stalking me, aren't you?" he accuses lightly, falling in step next to the smuggler as they walk into Kadara Port.
"Well," Reyes says easily, with a sideways glance at him, "the view is quite remarkable."
Scott swallows thickly. "So you admit to stalking me."
"No, but if I did stalk you, is that really so bad?"
He scowls. "How do you always know when I'm leaving the ship?"
"I have my sources."
"Uh huh."
Reyes flashes him a quick grin, all white teeth and charm. "You doubt me?"
"Who's your source?"
"I can't give away names. But it rhymes with 'ham'."
"Oh my fucking god. SAM, are you kidding me?" Scott mutters.
He wanted to know. I saw no harm in telling him, SAM says. You enjoy his company, and your stress levels lower 10.4% when you are in his presence.
"My AI is such a fucking snitch," Scott sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face.
"You've been avoiding me," Reyes says, quite suddenly.
Scott nearly misses his next step, staggering forward one step. "Um. No, I haven't."
"You have," the smuggler says firmly. "What I want to know is why."
"I'm not avoiding you. I've just been busy."
"You've been avoiding me since we kissed on the rooftops."
He doesn't have to remind Scott of that moment; it's seared into his mind in all the best possible ways. He tries to forget it, forget how he felt, but it's so incredibly hard, especially when Reyes is right next to him. The mere sound of his voice lulls Scott into a false sense of calm he can't afford to have right now.
Relax, SAM tells him.
I can't afford the luxury.
You can.
He wants to. He wants to so badly, but he can't. He's too busy, he has too many responsibilities to even be thinking of something like this, and he can't afford emotional attachments right now. He can't afford them ever, because he's always going to be the Pathfinder.
"I'm not avoiding you," he says again, almost absently, as he keeps his gaze focused straight ahead. It's easier to imagine Reyes means nothing to him if he's not looking at him. If he can't see him… he can just pretend…
"You are." A hand grabs his arm, pulling him to a stop. "Scott. Look at me."
He exhales slowly through his nose, and slides his gaze toward Reyes. The man's own honeyed eyes are staring at him, into his soul.
"Do you regret what happened on the rooftops?" Reyes asks quietly. "If you do, tell me now, and we'll drop the matter entirely."
I regret it, he wants to say. Needs to say. It's the only way this can go.
But when he opens his mouth to say the words, to shatter whatever this is between them, he can't do it. He can't find the words, he can't find his voice, he just can't do it. He freezes, staring wide-eyed at the smuggler in front of him, a lump in his throat.
Reyes watches him carefully, gaze softening somewhat the longer Scott stays quiet. There are little flecks of dark brown hidden in the lighter color of Reyes' eyes. Scott counts them as he struggles to find his voice, to say the words he knows he has to say, to-
Scott, do not deny yourself this, SAM says. You want this. You need this. You need to relax. Do not deny yourself meaningful connection simply because you are the Pathfinder. Relax.
He wants to. He wants to so badly, but he can't. He can't.
"I'm the Pathfinder," he finally manages to say, his voice this broken thing scraping its way out of his mouth. "I… I can't."
"You're the Pathfinder," Reyes agrees, voice just as raw. "You can."
"I like you," he blurts, flushing once he realizes what he's said. Reyes's lips twitch into a tiny smile. "I like you a lot more than I should."
"Well," the smuggler says slowly, smirking, "it's good to know this isn't one-sided." He steps closer, into Scott's personal space. Scott freezes – not that he could go anywhere even if he wanted to, because Reyes' hands are on his shoulders, carefully holding him in place like he's a skittish puppy. "I like you, too, Scott Ryder."
And then his lips are on Scott's again, and it's safe warm happy content-
It's a burst of feelings too quick to decipher, and, overwhelmed, Scott caves.
His hands cling to Reyes' shirt, tugging him forward as the smuggler's mouth claims his own in a kiss too deep and passionate to be nothing.
This isn't nothing.
It's something.
It's everything Scott wants and knows he can't have, but he can't fight it anymore. He's too tired, too jaded. Too tired to keep fighting this something, and Reyes makes him feel safe happy warm content and in that moment, he ceases to be the Pathfinder.
He's just Scott, and Scott wants so keenly it leaves him breathless. Or maybe that's just Reyes kissing him.
The smuggler pulls back, and for a second the two catch their breath. Then Reyes' forehead is on Scott's, and he's so incredibly close, and his voice is quiet and sincere when he speaks.
"I care about you."
The words seem so simple coming from the smuggler's lips, but they get trapped in Scott's throat when he tries to repeat them. He swallows around the words and then smashes his lips against Reyes' once again, pulling him close to convey everything he can't find the words to say.
He knows he shouldn't, that this can only end in disaster, that they lead completely different lives – but he's tired of fighting it, and just once, he wants to be happy.
Even if it's only temporary.
xXx
When he sleeps, he dreams.
His dreams are filled with Reyes, and the taste of him along Scott's tongue, the smell of him thick in the air.
He is perfect.
He wakes and scurries to the bathroom for a cold shower, ignoring SAM's inquiries about this 'reaction'.
xXx
The next morning is freezing. The temperature is steadily dropping in Kadara as the cooler months arrive. It won't ice over, but he's heard rumor that it can snow, but it never sticks. That's good, he supposes. He doesn't need to worry about ice on top of everything else here.
It's chilly, though, the temperature around 24F. Scott shivers, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself as he steps off the Tempest. His breath mists in the air in front of him. It reminds him of Earth, and a pang of longing shoots through him. He misses the Milky Way, even the bad parts. His misses cold winter nights and hot summer days. Here, it's all the same – it just depends what planet you're on. Voeld is always freezing and icy. Eos is always hot and humid. Aya is… well, Aya. He doesn't know too much about it. He should probably look into it, though, since his crew member is from there.
He strolls out of the Tempest and into Kadara Port, mostly to just get off the ship for a while, and also because he heard tale that someone here has coffee beans, and a cup of coffee sounds amazing right now. He hasn't had a cup since he first woke from cryo. There's some on the Nexus, but it's rationed for the higher-ups. He doesn't want to drink any if his crew can't enjoy it as well. So, he's decided to track some down here, and get enough for the crew to enjoy at least one cup with him.
Vetra insisted on popcorn instead of coffee; that's fine with him. Popcorn is just as hard to come by, though – it'll take some digging.
He's up for the challenge, though. Being off the ship is a relief, honestly. He's not a smuggler by any means, like Vetra or Reyes, so tracking what he wants down will be difficult, but it's better than playing Pathfinder. Maybe one day he'll get used to it. Today is not that day.
It does get a little easier, though – as the days pass by. He still thinks he's terrible at this job and it should be Cora, or hell, even Sara, but not him. He's not Pathfinder material. But with SAM's wonderful help, he thinks he might actually be doing okay, so far. He's made many mistakes, of course, but he's also settled two worlds, fixed a third, and he's on semi-friendly terms with the angara. At the end of the day – it's a win, right? And he did that. Not alone, and it certainly not easily, but he was a part of it.
A part of him feels accomplished, and it's been such a long time since he's felt that particular emotion. Pride swells within him, either his own or SAM's, he's not sure. Maybe it doesn't matter. He's proud of himself, for once. On this moment, on this chilly morning – he is proud of himself.
He's not sure how long this feeling will last, of course; he's sure there is going to be a dark turn just around the corner, but for now, he is going to enjoy himself.
I am proud of you, SAM tells him as he's walking through Kadara Port, eying vendors who give him shifty looks. Maybe he should have worn different clothing; this does kind of scream Initiative. Some people are friendlier with him now that he's fixed Kadara's vault, but many still are wary of him, and dislike his presence simply on principle. Then there's the fact Sloane probably wants him dead right now. Maybe leaving alone wasn't the best idea – but he has SAM. He'll be okay.
A part of him is honestly surprised Reyes isn't waiting to greet him like he has the past few times he's left the ship, but it's early, and chilly, and even charming smugglers need their sleep.
Thanks, SAM, he says, and he means it. There's a hot ball of something stuck in his chest, and he swallows thickly around it as it threatens to burn its way up his throat. What is this feeling? It's warm and cozy and – content?
I'm content, he realizes. In this moment, on Kadara Port, he is content. He's proud of himself.
Maybe today will be a good day. Maybe he's getting better at this whole 'flying blind' thing. Maybe he'll finally get used to the job his father 'bestowed' upon him.
But of course, that's when his omni-tool pings with a new message.
It's from the Nexus; there's a lead on the turian ark, Natanus.
Scott exhales slowly.
Time to get back to work.
xXx
Pathfinder, Reyes Vidal is at the docking bay, requesting entrance.
SAM's voice startles him – he nearly drops the large crate of armor and weapons he's helping Liam move to a better corner of the cargo bay. It will give them easier access should they need it; they have no idea what they're going to find on the Ark Natanus. They have to go to Elaaden; Scott's not excited to see more desert, with heat indexes beyond boiling. Direct exposure to sunlight will harm them.
Uh… o-oh? Is he? Scott manages to think back, thoughts temporarily scattered at the mention of Reyes. They haven't quite defined this… whatever it is between them, but they have established that they both like each other, a lot, and maybe that's all they need right now. He hasn't seen him for a day and a half, because he's been busy getting the ship ready to depart and making sure they have all their supplies and everything.
And then he realizes: Oh. I'm leaving. We might not be back.
It depends on how everything goes, and when they get their Archon location deciphered and everything. That could take a while. They were okay to stay here for the time being, but now they have a job to do, and that might take all the way up until they have to hunt down that egotistical bastard, and that means no more Kadara.
No more Reyes.
It shouldn't bother him, but it does. Because he caved, and kissed Reyes for all he was worth, and he's left open and exposed for the smuggler to see, in a way he's never been before.
And now he might not be back to Kadara – at least for a while.
It's… distracting. Unnerving. A part of him doesn't want to leave.
But that's why this was a bad idea – emotional attachments can only cause problems. But he can't just give up Reyes Vidal.
Let him in, SAM. He nods a farewell to Liam, and makes his way to his quarters. Direct him to my room.
Very well, Pathfinder.
His quarters are cool and quiet when he enters, just how he likes it. He exhales, and has just enough time to change out of his sweaty shirt before the doors to his room open again. He's stuck with his new shirt half over his head when he hears the swoosh of the doors closing, and an amused voice humming in approval. He flushes, happy his back is to the door as he finishes pulling on his shirt.
"No need to dress on my account," Reyes say in that smooth voice that sends shivers down Scott's spine.
"Don't flatter yourself," Scott replies, even as his heart races.
Your heartrate has increased 15.2%, Pathfinder. Should I alert Dr. T'Perro?
Oh, god. No, SAM. Don't do that.
Very well, SAM says in this tone.
You asshole. You meant to do that, didn't you? You know damn good and well why my heartrate increased. You're not as clueless as people think you are.
I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.
Of course. Jerk, he thinks fondly.
"Are you done arguing with yourself?" Reyes asks, watching him carefully, a smirk parting his lips.
Scott scowls. "What did you need? Has something happened?"
"What?" Reyes shakes his head. "No, no, no. Nothing so sinister. I'm just here to say goodbye, I promise."
"You're just…?" Scott stares at him, uncomprehending. Then he realizes what Reyes is saying. "Oh…" What a way to break up… but I mean… I guess it's for the best.
Reyes exhales slowly, posture stiffening as his spine snaps taut, his jaw clenching. "Look, I'm no good at these things. I can admit that. But whatever is between us – I just wanted to say good luck, wherever you're going. And… stay safe." The smile on his face looks normal enough, but Scott's standing close enough he can see the darkening of his eyes, the lines around his mouth nearly invisible to anyone who doesn't… what? Know him? Does Scott know him?
Mr. Vidal appears calm but his readings reveal he is not quite himself. He seems unstable. I believe he is concerned.
Scott breathes out quietly, watching Reyes carefully. The way his eyes switch from Scott to the room, then back again, quickly. The way the smile falters ever-so-slightly. He is worried, but Scott can't figure out why.
"Thanks," he says, smiling back. "I'll try. We're heading to Elaaden to search for the turian ark."
Reyes nods. "Ah. I see. Safe travels, then. Pack sunscreen."
"I'm so tired of the desert."
"It grows on you. Like a fungus."
Scott's nose wrinkles. "Not the image I wanted, but thanks. I guess I have that to look forward to. Minus the fungus part."
"You don't want a fungus growing on you?" Reyes asks, smirking. "I'm shocked."
"Do I look like I'm into fungi?" Scott levels him with a flat stare.
"Hmm… maybe."
"Gross."
Reyes coughs into his hand, looking away from him. "Just work on your self-preservation instincts. Stay safe, and don't get stuck in a sand pit and burn alive."
"Ugh. There's a comforting image," Scott mutters, shaking his head. "Thanks. I'll try to not get ambushed in a sand pit. Is that… all you wanted?"
It seems strange for Reyes to enter the Tempest just for that.
"That's all."
Scott nods. Once. Twice. Three times.
He's still nodding when Reyes steps closer, and then their mouths meet in a soft kiss, which only deepens when Scott gets over his shock and wraps a tentative hand around the back of Reyes' neck, guiding him forward.
When he's had the breath stolen from him, Reyes leans back and nods once, sharply. "For luck," he says.
"For luck," Scott agrees quietly.
xXx
Elaaden is hot and dry, and Scott curses his armor. It has cooling circuits in it, of course, but that doesn't mean the armor itself isn't hot and heavy. Being in the direct sunlight is almost painful as it eats at his shields and systems. If those all fail and he's still in the sunlight… well, SAM has warned against that, of course.
He takes Jaal and Drack with him through the desert, mostly because krogans can typically survive any temperature and any weather, and angara are adaptive. He's the only human to suffer the heat while the rest of his crew stay in the temperature-controlled Tempest.
The Nomad is temperature-controlled, too, but even it has its limits. Being out in the direct sunlight for too long starts to eat away at the vehicle, and Gil is going to kill him if he brings it back destroyed. He always says Scott ruins his shiny things just to spite him.
(Maybe Scott does sometimes, because frustrated Gil on a tangent is both hilarious and hot, and he might have the tiniest crush on his engineer if their lives were different and Gil was not a part of his crew.)
(He still hasn't found a way to use frustrated Gil to his advantage during poker, though.)
Driving through the sand dunes in the Nomad takes practice. Thankfully there's a lot of sand, so Scott has plenty of time to practice. Drack whoops every time they almost topple the vehicle over or catch air from a particularly steep drop, and Jaal tactfully keeps his mouth shut on Scott's driving capabilities. Good. Because Scott does not need backseat driving when the Nomad is hard enough to steer, thank you very much.
As they're crashing through the sand dunes, a shadow suddenly covers them. For a split second Scott thinks oh, they have clouds, great! before Jaal lets out a warning, to stay away from whatever that is. And that is a giant worm-like thing that reminds him of a thresher maw from Tuchanka, but bigger, and is that two heads? It also looks robotic in the sunlight, the metal gleaming beautifully. He's almost glad Peebee isn't with him right now, because she would want to study it, and he would give into his inner explorer and want to study it too, and then where would they be? Dead, most likely. They would be dead.
He stays away from that, which is more difficult than it sounds. It keeps diving through the dunes, and it's so large it makes quick work of the vast open space and hills of sand. More than once, the shadow covers the Nomad and he briefly thinks, oh, shit, we're gonna die crushed by a metal worm, before it passes and sinks back into the sand.
He gets out of that are as fast as he can.
Drack tells him to turn around – he wants to fight it.
He ignores the krogan, and keeps heading toward the signal for the turian ark.
What they find isn't Ark Natanus.
Instead, what they find are a series of pods imbedded in the sand, all revealing negative life readings. Everyone in these pods are dead, and there are dozens of them within his line of view, and probably more scattered around. A tight knot settles in his stomach as they search the pods for the turian Pathfinder, Macen. They find no trace of him, but SAM is picking up yet another nearby signal, of more pods, and a faint life signature.
That's good enough for him.
He leaves behind the scattered, dead pods (promising himself to come back for them later, because no one needs to be forgotten like that, in a sandy dune in the middle of nowhere) and follows the signal in the Nomad.
More pods this time, but also a firefight. Turians are fighting against kett – some are still alive. Relief ebbs through Scott even as he and his team jump out of the Nomad to lend their assistance.
Bullets whiz past his face, and he flings a biotic barrier up, just like he's been practicing. The field covers himself and Jaal, who is shooting at them from nearby cover, while Drack charges forward in a krogan blood rage. The sound of his shout is almost familiar to Scott now, but it does still set his teeth on edge when he hears that battle cry, and makes his adrenaline skyrocket. Maybe that's a good thing, though; adrenaline keeps him focused on even the tiniest of details, like the red dot on Jaal's head.
He throws himself forward as he hears the telltale signs of sniper fire. For a split second he thinks, fuck, I'm too late! before he crashes into Jaal and sends the angara to the ground. The barrier, flickering away but still around its point of ignition (Scott), suffers the bullet which would have pierced Jaal's face and killed him instantly. As it is, Jaal is safe, and Scott barely feels the ricochet of the bullet bouncing off his barrier, before his barrier flickers away and dies.
In the future, SAM says almost firmly, I recommend not jumping in front of sniper fire.
I had to, he throws back.
He can't let anything happen to his crew. He's the Pathfinder: if anyone dies, it's going to be him.
Please cease this line of thought. It serves no purpose.
He doesn't have time to think about it, because the kett are forming for another attack, and he throws himself back into the fight.
xXx
They win the fight.
The kett retreat or are killed, and Scott wipes the sweat from his brow as he turns to face the turian leading this defense.
"Scott Ryder, human Pathfinder," he introduces himself, holding out his hand for the turian to shake.
The turian stares at it for a moment, mandibles flexing, before he clasps Scott's hand. "Avitus Rix. Next in line to be Pathfinder."
Scott exhales. "But you're not the Pathfinder," he clarifies. "So Macen is still alive?"
"He's alive," Avitus says firmly.
"Do you know where he is? Is he here?"
Doubtful, he surmises. If he was here, SAM surely would have figured that out and told him, and he would have been leading the attack instead of Avitus.
Avitus shakes his head, looking away. "He's not here. I don't know where he is, or what happened, or… I had to claw my way out of my own escape pod."
Scott winces. "That's terrible. I'm sorry. Do you have any idea where the rest of the ark is? Or Macen?"
"I don't know," Avitus says, clearly disturbed by this fact.
"We found pods a ways back…" Scott says slowly, frowning. "Everyone was already dead. I'm sorry."
Avitus takes in a deep breath and says nothing, just keeps looking at the sandy ground.
"If it helps, SAM thinks they were ejected after you went through the Scourge," he tells the turian. "Which means there's hope, at least. The Natanus is still moving."
Avitus' gaze shoots toward him. "Which means Macen is, too."
Scott smiles. "All we need to do is find the Natanus, which clearly isn't here like we thought. But it did go by here… Maybe we can pick up its trail."
It is possible, if we know what we are looking for, and which direction, SAM informs him.
Good, he thinks. A little good news would go a long way right about now.
xXx
Suvi and SAM manage to pinpoint a chemical trail for the Ark Natanus.
Scott never doubted them.
Avitus is going to meet them at the location, despite the fact he should be resting on the Nexus while Scott and the others take care of this. Then again, Scott wouldn't be able to sit idly by if their roles were reversed, and he could help find the human ark. So, he'll let Avitus join them if SAM agrees the turian is healthy, despite the sun exposure, and having to physically claw himself out of his cryo pod.
Avitus is going to meet them on their ship at the location, so they can all enter the ark together. During that time, Scott is going to allow SAM to do a full run-down of Avitus' body and exhaustion levels, and if he's not fit for duty, he will make him stand down, even if he has to use force. He doesn't want to hurt Avitus but he can't let him charge into a situation they know next to nothing about, if he's not 100%.
No one would let Scott do that, so he won't let Avitus do that.
They should arrive at the rendezvous point within the next few hours.
In the meantime, he has some free time. He's exhausted, and he has a fresh new tan from Elaaden, and sun exhaustion to add to that. He just wants to sleep. Crawling into his bed sounds absolutely amazing right now.
It's as he's about to make the last few steps toward his bed that SAM informs him he has an incoming vid-call from Reyes.
A pleasant shiver slips down Scott's spine at the mention of the smuggler.
He heads to the conference room to take the call immediately.
"Well," Reyes says when his holographic form appears, looking over Scott with a pleased lilt to his mouth, "don't you look simply delicious."
Scott flushes. "This isn't a secure line."
"Oh, don't worry – I don't plan on holographically molesting you. Although," he says with a quiet hum, "think of the possibilities…"
Scott clears his throat. "Did you need something, or just checking to make sure I didn't fall into a sand pit and bake to death?"
"Why can't it be both?" Reyes asks, blinking wide, innocent eyes at him. Scott almost snorts. Almost.
"Aw," he says, smirking, "worried about little old me?"
"You jest, but Andromeda is a dangerous place. If you die, who am I going to drink alcohol on rooftops with?"
Scott rolls his eyes, hiding a laugh behind a quick cough, clearing his throat. "What do you need, Reyes?"
"Well… a certain someone is throwing this extravagant party," Reyes says, smirking at him, "and I thought 'who better to bring along, than a certain sexy man I know', and here we are, Sexy."
"Oh, god. Don't call me that," Scott says, flushing deeply. Thankfully the holograms can't pick up that much detail, so Reyes is none the wiser. He thinks.
"But it's the truth," Reyes tells him, winking at him. "Would you have me lie?"
Scott swallows thickly. "Who's throwing this party?"
"Why, Sloane Kelly, of course."
"I see a little snag in your plan."
"My two left feet are not a problem," Reyes informs him. "I can dance fine if you squint and consume enough alcohol.
Scott snorts out a shocked laugh. "Uh – no. But uh, good to know. If we ever dance."
"Oh, we will. At the party."
"About that snag? Sloane hates me. She'll never invite me to her party."
And why would I even go?
"Ah, but she doesn't hate me, and I am on the list," Reyes tells him smoothly. "Along with a 'plus one'. Would you like to be my plus one, Scott Ryder?"
"This is a terrible idea."
"And?"
He breathes out sharply. "I'm in."
xXx
The Ark Natanus looks dark and half-destroyed, systems failing. Scott doesn't have high hopes for the trip onto it, but he doesn't let it show in front of Avitus.
Avitus Rix has a one-track mind: find Macen.
He's still alive, he says firmly, because SAM hasn't switched to him yet.
Scott hopes he's right, even as he remembers his father transferring SAM into his head instead of Cora's, who was next in line. Maybe Macen did that, too, though it seems like Avitus and Macen are close. Cora and Alec Ryder seemed close, too, up until his father shoved that AI into his head instead of letting it transfer to Cora.
He's not sure what to believe anymore.
He keeps these thoughts to himself, of course; Avitus is already on edge.
They make their way through the ship, slowly and carefully due to the low power, and come across audio logs. Macen's last words.
He's dead, Scott thinks as he listens to Macen search for 'Avi's pod'. Avi, not Avitus. These two were closer than Scott thought.
"He's alive," Macen says, lifting his chin defiantly to glare down at Scott. "He's alive, do you hear me?"
"Okay," Scott says, nodding. "Sure. Let's find him, then."
The likelihood of the turian Pathfinder still being alive is 3.1%, SAM informs him.
Yeah. I know.
They make their way to SAM node, finally. The SAM aboard this ship seems… disturbed. Broken. Repeating things randomly, stuttering, stopping… It is broken, and a piece of Scott aches at the sight, picturing his SAM that way.
With his SAM's help, they fix the AI enough, even temporarily, to allow it to speak clearly and tell them what happened.
It's just as Scott feared.
Macen is dead. In the middle of transferring to Avitus, the system was interrupted, which is what broke this SAM so much. The transfer was never completed. It needs to be fixed, needs to complete itself.
Macen is dead.
Avitus is taking it quite hard – but then Scott expects nothing less. He hasn't asked outright what their relationship was like, but he knows it went deeper than friendship. He thinks of himself feeling this way, if Reyes were Macen. His brain stops – the thought is ridiculous. Reyes is fine on Kadara, waiting for him to return for a party, and Alec Ryder was the Pathfinder who died tragically on Habitat 7. Thinking of things any differently is foolish.
Still, though – what a way to find out your significant other perished tragically while you slept. Scott can only imagine how Avitus feels.
Avitus doesn't want to be Pathfinder. He signed up for second-in-line to help Macen, and never actually thought he'd have to become Pathfinder, because something happened to the other turian. Scott knows how he feels, there – he never expected he'd become Pathfinder, either. Life enjoys its weird turns.
"You'll do fine," he tells Macen quietly, with a hand on the turian's shoulder. "You think I expected to be Pathfinder? Hell no. You think I wanted to be Pathfinder? Hell no. But here I am, and if I can do it, so can you."
It's not the best pep talk, but then he's never been good at those. Sara. Sara's good at those, at building people up, but he's not.
"You can do this," he says.
Avitus takes in a deep breath, mandibles flexing. "Okay."
"Initiating transfer," SAM says, either this ship's or his own, he's not quite sure.
And Avitus Rix becomes the turian Pathfinder.
xXx
Scott takes a long hot shower and tries to clear his mind of Macen and Avitus, and the Ark Natanus. Many turians were saved, but many still are missing. Time is of the essence; if they were just ejected from the ship, in a last ditch effort to keep the ship moving, then there's a chance they're still alive in their pods. There's a chance some clawed their way out like Avitus. The chance is slim, but a chance is a chance. Avitus is scanning planets on his way back to the Nexus to officially become Pathfinder and speak with Director Tann about search parties. Scott wishes him luck.
He never gets anywhere with Tann, himself.
He sighs and steps out of the shower, drying himself off in front of the large wall mirror which is foggy with steam.
Macen and Avitus were together, despite their roles in the Initiative. Despite the fact Macen was a Pathfinder and Avitus his second. Despite all their responsibilities, they made it work. It ended tragically… but if the Scourge hadn't happened… they made it work.
Maybe he can do this after all. Maybe it's okay to have emotional entanglements.
Maybe he and Reyes can be… something.
Warmth floods through him.
Before he knows he's moving, he's sending a message to the smuggler.
Hey, Reyes
Can't wait for the party. I'm on my way back now. You wouldn't believe the day I had.
-Scott Ryder