Disclaimer: Of course none of the characters belong to me, they belong to Tess Gerritson, Janet Tamaro and TNT, and thank goodness for the premiere tonight, Woohoo! (I'm okay now )

Thanks again for the reviews, they keep this story going, lots more to come, I mean fear is everywhere right?

Jane was restless. She was getting discharged today and she was still waiting for Dr Rosen's final visit before she was officially let go. Sighing loudly she looked up at the clock again,

"Where is he?" she said plaintively, sitting with arms crossed across her stomach, on the end of the bed.

"Jane, he said he would be here after his rounds," Maura finished packing away her toiletries and ran through her mental packing list.

"Besides, Frost and Korsak won't be here to pick us up until 1"

Looking up at the clock, Jane pursed her lips; it was only 11:30, "shit"

"Jane, language please." Maura said testily and was immediately sorry when she saw Jane's face fall.

"I'm sorry Jane, I'm just a bit anxious"

"What's to be anxious about Hon?" "I mean I'm going home, you know" Jane said, "I'm fine"

Maura's normally light and clear eyes darkened as she looked at Jane

"Jane Rizzoli!" Maura said sternly, "You are not fine, you are in fact still recuperating from two surgeries AND a gunshot wound"

"But…"

"No buts!" Maura all but yelled. "You can't lift your arms above your head aaannd…according to the respiratory therapist, you're still having issues taking consistent deep breaths."

Taking a breath, Maura continued "Please don't lie to me and tell me you're fine when you're not, please." This said in the pleading voice of fear. "I want to be there, to help, to care for you, because...I love you Jane, but don't lie, even to protect me." This she said quietly.

Maura turned away from Jane and busied herself packing up the get well cards, word search magazines and the like that had accumulated during Jane's almost month long stay in the hospital.

Jane could only stare at Maura, " You are a first rate ass Jane Rizzoli" she said to herself. Those view words gave Jane an insight into the fear that was still very much a part of Maura's life, "thanks to her." She truly hadn't given any real thought to the impact her behavior had on Maura. Jane knew she wasn't okay, far from it, but she had just been reminded rather sharply that when you love someone, you don't lie to them, not like that.

"Maura?" a tentative voice called.

Her back stiffened as Jane called her name, she didn't want to turn around. The tears she had been holding in check were streaming down her face.

"Please Maura, look at me, I'm…I'm sorry okay, I'm an ass."

"Yes you are," was the only response, she still wouldn't turn around.

"I'm not used to…you know…being taken care of or being loved by someone like you" Jane rushed her words, "I hate that you've had to see me like this."

"I mean, I should be taking care of you, no?"

Turning around Maura looked at the woman who was pleading with her to understand.

"Aww Maura, no, please don't cry, it's all I do anymore is make you cry" Jane held her arms out to Maura.

Maura walked into Jane's arms and they simply sat together quietly. Jane holding Maura in her arms as best she could, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words of love stopping her tears.

"I promise I'll do better Maur, no lies okay?" She leaned back slightly and tipped Maura's face up to meet hers. For the first time since she had woken, Jane shared a kiss with Maura, this time, on her terms. It started as a gentle kiss that grew more urgent as they continued, it was only at Jane's groan of pain that Maura pushed away and looked at her urgently "Jane?"

Holding her side, Jane smiled and kissed her tenderly, "It's okay, no damage, I just twisted the wrong way" Jane's lopsided grin put a smile on Maura's face.

"I guess we'll have to keep the kissing and touching to a minimum for now, huh Dr Isles?

Maura kissed her on the cheek; "We'll take it one day at a time Detective."

With Jane settled in the guest room sleeping, Maura flopped herself down on her couch. She was exhausted, but also content to have Jane under her roof. The doctor had given Jane explicit instructions regarding her physical and respiratory therapy as well as what she was allowed to do and what she was not.

Maura knew it would be a daily battle with Jane to make that she took care of herself, but she had already enlisted the help of no less than Jane's mother, Korsak and Frost. Between them, she hoped to keep Jane locked down enough to for once, follow doctor's orders.

She would close her eyes for just a few minutes. As she let her body relax a little for the first time since the shooting at the station, Maura's body, not her psyche took control and she fell into a deep sleep.

Jane looked down on Maura asleep on the couch with sadness. "She's exhausted, poor baby."

Jane had only meant to lie down for a few minutes but had been asleep for over two hours. When she woke, she was alone, which scared her, "where was Maura," she had gotten up as carefully as her body would allow and went searching. The house was quiet, Bass and Jo Friday wouldn't be back till tomorrow.

Finding Maura asleep on the couch, Jane allowed herself to truly feel the tenderness and love she felt for this woman. These feelings were new to her and scared her to death. They left her vulnerable, but as she looked down at Maura sleeping so peacefully she realized what Maura did for her on a daily basis. "She makes me feel whole." She thought.

Carefully bracing herself on the arm of the couch, Jane, not wanting to wake her, gently eased Maura's head down onto a sofa pillow and carefully lifted Maura's legs off the floor so as not to wake her, tucking her into the couch. Maura's hand moved up by her face holding a towel and Jane stepped back quickly hoping she hadn't woken her. Maura only murmured something indistinguishable and brought the towel up and tucked it under her face. Eyeing the towel, Jane's brow wrinkled when she realized it wasn't a towel at all; it was one of Jane's BPD jerseys. Jane grinned at the thought of one of her sweaty jerseys tucked up under the nose of the neat freak she loved. She just shook her head and pulled a blanket out from storage in the ottoman to cover up her Maura.

Kissing her lightly on the forehead, Jane headed to the kitchen to find something to eat, wondering if maybe they should order take out tonight, but finding instead typical Rizzoli fare in well worn Tupperware container in Maura's well stocked refrigerator. "Leave it to Ma to make sure I eat," Jane chuckled.

She popped open the container with lasagna and just smelled it, enjoying the memories that scent brought back to her. She didn't realize the tears had started running down her face until she tasted salt on her lips.

Angry with herself, she cut a piece of lasagna and heated it up in the microwave, scrubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. Putting the rest away, Jane leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Her breath caught as pain radiated across her chest and abdomen.

"FUCK!"

Gritting her teeth against the pain, Jane took smaller breaths the way the therapist had shown her slowing the spasm that was causing the pain. "Shit…shit…shit, slow it down Rizzoli, slow it down" Slowly getting the spasm under control, she straightened back up.

Angry, she growled under her breath "Dammit! I can't take a deep breath yet, I cry for no fucking reason, I have to have someone watching me 24/7, what..the ..fuck!"

As Korsak had said, Jane did not "do" vulnerable. She hated herself for the weakness in her body and spirit. She didn't want to need anyone, at least not this way. Frustrated and without thinking she slapped her left hand down on the counter. The sensation tingled up to her shoulder in a mixture of pain and pleasure. She still wasn't operating 100% in that hand but at least she could feel it now. Satisfied that at least something was under her control, she sniffed and wiped the last of her tears. She was tired of being scared, tired of being broken; she just wanted to be Jane, period, with Maura. She grabbed her food out of the microwave and went to sit at the dining table. As she pushed through the doorway, she was surprised to find a very wide-awake Maura Isles staring at her quietly.

Startled, Jane straightened up and took a seat, "there's more if you like," acting in her Detective Rizzoli persona, hard and tough, "did you sleep well?"

Maura looked at her thoughtfully, and bit her lip. She didn't know what to say. She heard the frustration in Jane's voice and had heard her in the kitchen. Taking her cue from Jane, she just replied, "Yes I did, thank you for covering me up."

Jane nodded and kept eating, hoping that Maura hadn't heard her little rant. She was feeling uncomfortable in her own skin and didn't want to be pitied, especially not by Maura.

Maura went to the kitchen and got herself some food and sat down with Jane at the table. They sat in companionable silence while they ate. When they were done, Maura made a move to clean up but was stopped by Jane's raised hand. "I got it Maur, you've done too much already."

Taken literally, Maura should feel offended, but she knew that wasn't how Jane meant it. She could tell how uncomfortable and vulnerable Jane was feeling and was afraid to say the wrong thing to her right now, so she said nothing. She just watched Jane as she moved determinedly back into the kitchen. Maura could tell that Jane was in some pain but was not going to say anything unless Jane did first.

Sighing deeply she shook her head, she knew Jane better than she did herself and she understood that after all that had happened, Jane needed to exert some control, "and its up to me to give it to her"

By the time Jane finished cleaning up their dishes Maura had dimmed the lights and popped in one of Jane's favorite movies, Terminator 2. Jane walked out of the kitchen and stopped short, seeing Maura sitting on the couch waiting for her to go and watch a movie brought her back to a time before the shooting, when she had control of her life. Tilting her head at Maura "What are you doing Maura?"

Batting her beautiful long lashes, "watching Terminator 2 and waiting for you" she patted the couch and waited for Jane to sit down. Smiling she sat down carefully so her left side was next to Maura. No words were needed as she leaned back against the couch and Maura nestled into her side. Jane lifted her arm wrapped it around her sighing deeply.

Jane knew what Maura was doing for her, for them, and she loved her all the more for it. She kissed the top of her head and settled in to watch the movie, feeling like Jane Rizzoli for the first time since the shooting.

So, really, what do you think? I love and appreciate reviews and try to respond to them all. There is actually a lot more to this story including some upcoming M rated chapters for well you know, and some gory stuff coming up.

Reviews please after the premiere of course…