"Kami," he addresses the gods, "I know you don't give a shit about me...and you're no friends of mine...but this isn't fucking fair! It's not just me this time--you're hurting her too. My life may be meaningless, but hers matters!"

His voice begins to crack again as he realizes the importance, the real depth, of the loss he holds in his grasp. "There are so many people who love her...please, give her back.. To her family, to her friends. You can take me instead! I would gladly give my life for hers. She is so...good, so...special...she doesn't deserve this! Please...please...." His voice trails off into a whisper with his last pleading request.

No response.

He waits--moments, minutes, hours--he doesn't know.

Nothing changes.

With his one and only prayer unanswered, Inuyasha pulls Kagome's head away from his shoulder to gaze upon her lifeless face. Tears begin to form in his heartbroken eyes. He softly mutters to himself, "She looks so pale...just like Kikyo..."

SMACK!

"WHO looks like Kikyo?! And what the heck do you think you're doing--trying to drown me or something? And in freezing water, too!" She snorts to punctuate her next point: "Oh, but it's not like I wouldn't know why...I saw you y'know! I saw you with her! Don't think I don't know what's going on!" She glares at a wide-eyed Inuyasha. "Well you can just go be with her all you want, because I'm leaving! But first...Inuyasha, SIT!"

SLAP through the surface of the lake and straight to the bottom to eat mud.

An obviously fully revived (and spitting mad) Kagome storms off back to camp. A completely stunned Inuyasha struggles to grasp what just happened as the spell wears off and he rises from the water. A smile spreads across his now-red (and wet) face.

She may be furious...she may have sat me...but at least she's alive!

Though still unconvinced the Kami were responsible for Kagome's resurrection, he offers a silent prayer of thanks just in case.

Too elated at the girl's recovery to be angry with her, Inuyasha begins to follow Kagome from a suitable distance in the treetops to assure her safe return to camp. Once he's certain she's in good hands, Inuyasha abandons his mobile treetop vigil. He backtracks to the clearing where Kikyo's body lay. Once there, he gently lifts her form into his arms and sets out for Kaede's.

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Kagome emerges from the forest into the campsite where the rest of the gang (minus Inuyasha) are having their lunch.

"Kagome!!" Miroku, Sango, and Shippo cry in unison. The kitsune becomes a blurry red streak as he sprints to Kagome's position and springs into her arms.

"We were all so worried, Kagome! You were gone so long! I'm so glad you're back!" He grins up at her, and she returns the gesture. "But...why are you all wet, Kagome?"

Kagome's face contorts. "Take a wild guess," she mutters, mostly to herself.

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Inuyasha lays Kikyo's body on Kaede's sleeping mat. He brings the priestess up to speed on how the other miko died, and what happened to Kagome, leaving out as much detail as he could afford to.

"I see," comments Kaede. "Then my sister got her wish. She is now at peace. As it should be. I am glad for her."

After a brief but thoughtful silence, Kaede informs Inuyasha that her sister's wake will be that night and the memorial service early the next morning. He nods his response and prepares to leave.

"Are you certain Kagome is alright?" Kaede adds as Inuyasha pushes aside the matting of the entrance.

"She was well enough to sit me when I saw her last! And she's with Miroku and Sango now."

"Then I am certain she is fine. Give her my best, Inuyasha. Travel with care."

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"Inuyasha!" shouts an exuberant Shippo upon the young man's arrival at the campsite. He runs up to the half-demon grinning. However, the look on Inuyasha's face causes the kit's warm smile to go cold and fall flat.

"What's wrong, Inuyasha?" asks Miroku, walking towards him. Sango's face displays the same question. Even the great fire cat mews with concern. Only Kagome ignores the hanyou, turning her head away from him with a high-pitched 'hmph.' She assumes Inuyasha is upset about getting caught with Kikyo—and then being sat for it.

Inuyasha disregards everyone near him to approach the angry miko. "How's your head?" he asks her softly, eyeballing the bandage around the wound.

"What do you care?!" spits Kagome, now turning to look into his eyes defiantly. Her mouth moves to begin a rant, but stills the moment the pair's eyes meet. Something is wrong. He's not angry. He's...sad? Inuyasha? Something is definitely awry.

"It's...uh...I'm...fine," the priestess finally sputters.

"Good." replies Inuyasha flatly. Satisfied with her answer, he bows his head to deliver the news.

"Kikyo is gone," he nearly whispers.

"What? What do you mean....gone?"

"I mean she's gone. Forever."

"But...how? N-Naraku?"

"No. It was her choice. Her wake is tonight and the funeral is in the morning, down in Kaede's village. The old bat wants Miroku to officiate. Please tell the others for me."

At this, he turns away, and walks to the edge of the forest where Kagome sat up the night before.

"B-But..." she calls out to his back.

The stunned Kagome decides it is best to give her friend some privacy for the time being, and goes to inform the others.

Soon it is late afternoon, and Inuyasha fishes alone for dinner. Even Shippo stays back, realizing the hanyou's need to be alone right now.

In the tree hovering over the camp, Inuyasha stares down his dinner as if it were threatening to eat him, as the rest of the group slowly consumes their evening meals by the fire in relative silence.

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Sango and Kagome decide to bathe in the hot springs before attending the wake. Inuyasha and Miroku stand guard as always—hidden behind a boulder blocking their view of the girls.

The two young women speak in hushed voices (so the menfolk won't hear) about the events of the day.

"What do you suppose he meant by that, Kagome? 'It was her choice.'"

"I don't know. I don't know how she died, either. Or how he can be so certain. He's thought her dead before only to find out she was alright after all."

"I suppose he will tell us when he's ready."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But there's more I'm curious about. I'm embarrassed to even say it...but...I can't help but wonder, Sango, if that is why I saw him kissing her. Was he saying good-bye? Or was it something else and she died later? I desperately want to ask him, but I obviously can't. I feel so terribly selfish for even being concerned about it now, but...I...Oh, I'm a terrible person." She sighs, feeling ashamed.

"You are not a terrible person, Kagome," Sango reassures her. "You can't help how you feel. It's not going to go away. You just need to know what happened, and someday you will. I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, Sango. Still, I feel guilty for even thinking about it. I mean, Inuyasha just lost someone he cared about, when he's lost so much already. I feel awful for him, I really do, but I also can't stop wondering why he was out there with Kikyo in the first place." Another guilty sigh.

"Cheer up, Kagome. This is a difficult time, I know, but it will get better. Everything will work out in the end. At least that's what I believe. I have to. Otherwise, I would give up hope on ever getting Kohaku back alive. It's just like you always tell me, Kagome--you just have to have faith."

Kagome smiles at her friend's warmth. She really does feel somewhat better now.

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Once in the village for Kikyo's wake, Inuyasha heads straight to the Goshinboku. Kagome tries to talk him down. "Inuyasha, don't you want to pay your last respects?"

"I've already said my good-bye."

"But...don't you think Kikyo would want you there?" A lump forms in Kagome's throat as she continues her argument—she is finding it difficult to do right by the very woman who had been her competition when she was still in the living world. "She always called for you when she needed help...even in her final hours. Don't you think she would ask you to be by her side now if she could?"

Inuyasha casts his gaze aside, realizing that Kagome's words are most likely true. Nonetheless, he does not wish to look upon Kikyo's countenance again, knowing full well she will never be revived again.

"Kikyo's dead, remember?! And she already got what she wanted from me. If you want to go, go. But leave me out of it."

"Come on, Inuyasha. After all the time you two spent together?...And...what about..." Kagome struggles to pull out the painful words, "the feelings you had for each other? Don't you still want to be there for her now?"

Inuyasha scowls in response. He is moved by Kagome's apparent acceptance of his feelings for Kikyo, but even that isn't enough to change his mind.

Kagome ignores the intense stare and twisted visage trying to burn through her. She steels herself for the next round of difficult homage to her rival. She takes a deep breath. "We didn't always get along, but I know Kikyo was a good person at heart, and a powerful priestess. And I know she loved you. I think she would want you here. Please come down, Inuyasha."

"I already fucking told you! She already got what she fucking wanted from me, damn it! And I said all I had to say to her. You go! Leave me the hell alone!"

Kagome sighs in defeat and attends the wake Miroku is conducting without the hanyou. Her face is pensive, trying to understand her friend's objection to attending the wake of the woman he loved—and dealing with the latter part of that thought as well. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice the far-away look in her eyes.

Everyone did notice, however, the obvious absence of the half-demon. No one was particularly surprised, but none could really understand it. They just accepted it and went on with the wake they were all attending primarily for the very hanyou who decided not to.

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(Back at the campsite)

While everyone prepares for bed, Inuyasha returns to the forest's edge. Kagome quietly follows him. She takes a seat to the right of the now-black-haired Inuyasha. The cruelty of fate had decided upon on this night to begin a new lunar cycle and take his demon powers from him.

He sighs sadly at this thought, but not in such a way as to ward off visitors--at least not this one.

Of all the nights to be human, he mutters mentally.

At least he isn't asking me to leave, thinks Kagome at the same time.

"I suppose you want to know what happened, huh?" Inuyasha states, facing forward. His eyes are focused absently on some far away object.

"Only if you're ready, Inuyasha. I mean...I can leave if you want..." She begins to get up.

"No!" Inuyasha grabs her arm, popping his head up to look at her. "I mean, go ahead and stay if you want." he corrects himself, releasing the limb from his grasp and dropping his head, his face reddened as if with rouge.

Kagome retreats from her attempt to rise and settles in on the grassy earth.

"Kikyo sent for me last night. I was worried. I followed her soul-collectors to that clearing near the lake. That's when she told me."

An uncomfortable silence ensues as a hurting Inuyasha pauses to keep control of his emotion-laden voice.

Morbidly curious though she is, Kagome does not wish to rush him. This is obviously a painful story for him to tell, and when he's in pain, she suffers as he does. Her heart twists harder the longer the silence continues, knowing how he's feeling.

Finally, he speaks. "She asked me to...um...help her. I was ready to help in any way I could...but I never expected this." His bowed head turns to the left, away from Kagome. He is determined to keep the miko from witnessing any emotion in his now-brown orbs.

Another silence follows. Kagome dares not ask any questions, but rather allows her hanyou to go at his own pace. She's just glad he trusts her enough to confide in her like this.

This silence is short-lived, and soon Inuyasha is back on track with the tale.

"She asked me to help her fucking die!" Inuyasha bursts out with a raised voice, hitching despite his efforts to prevent it.

"She WHAT?!" a wide-eyed Kagome exclaims, shock overriding her efforts to remain silent.

Unruffled by Kagome's response, Inuyasha continues to reminisce with a sad but now-even tone, as he redoubles his efforts to remain calm. "Yeah. That was my reaction, too. But she was fucking insistent! She told me she was unhappy here and wanted peace!" He spits out the last word as if were poison on his tongue—and to him, it was.

He continues, "She thought the only way to get that was to die." Inuyasha's voice cracks again as his ability to control his tone wanes. It is becoming more difficult to rein in his emotions as he recalls and puts into words the events of the previous night and this very morning—in his human form, no less.

Another uncomfortable silence. Kagome is speechless—a rarity for the chatty girl.

After a few moments, she finds her voice. "That doesn't sound like Kikyo. Do you know why she decided this now?"

"She said she had done a lot of fucking thinking! Shit, she thought she was causing pain by being here and that she wasn't supposed to be here at all! She kept telling me she was unhappy..." His voice trails off as sadness overcomes him. A lump forms in his throat.

Kagome places a hand on his shoulder for comfort, giving it a little squeeze. Inuyasha places his hand over hers.

"Well if that's really what she wanted...then wouldn't she be happy now?" Kagome offers.

Inuyasha sighs. "I don't know. I hope so. I hope I did the right thing. She was damn sure convinced it was."

"So...how exactly...I mean....how did you help her?" An uneasiness creeps into Kagome's stomach. She's unsure if she should be asking such questions--but Inuyasha seems to need to get this off his chest--and is having difficulty on his own.

"It's complicated. She wanted me to be her 'vessel', I think that's what she called it. She needed to see the past through my eyes in order to let it go—or something like that. I don't fully understand it, but that was what she wanted. So I let her. I fucking let her! She was just so goddamn persistent, no matter how hard I tried to talk to her out of it!"

He let his hand slip off Kagome's in frustration. Kagome drops her own, suddenly feeling she was invading his space. Self-loathing anger begins to arise once more in the half-demon.

Gently, Kagome tells him, "You did what she asked to bring her peace and happiness. You did nothing wrong. I'm still not sure exactly what it is that you did do, but I know it wasn't wrong. It was what she wanted." A fragile smile graces her sad face as she tries to console the object of her affections.

Inuyasha's wrath at himself dissipates with Kagome's warm reassurance. He then proceeds to explain to her the best he can about the memory-viewing and how difficult it was for them both.

That's amazing! I wonder if I could that with my miko abilities...The curious girl can't help but ponder this wondrous thing.

"She was truly a remarkable woman, Inuyasha. And quite strong. Just as you are." She smiles brightly at him. The corner of his mouth upturns just slightly in return. He puts his arm around Kagome's shoulders, and she reciprocates with an arm around his back and her head on his shoulder. It's a rare tender moment, and they both relish it, despite the sadness in the air.

Inuyasha then recounts to Kagome how Kikyo actually died by releasing all of her dead souls. However, he remains silent about the enigmatic energy that left of its own accord, after the soul collectors disappeared.

Kagome simply "ohs" at the method of death. Now she understands how Inuyasha can be so certain that Kikyo cannot be revived.

After a short, but comfortable, silence, Kagome lifts her head from its 'pillow.' "Um...Inuyasha?" she begins, a waver in her voice. He cocks an eyebrow at her.

"I'm...really sorry for earlier...at the lake...for saying The Word. I was just, you know..." she blushes and turns away, the word "jealous" hovering at the periphery of her tongue, not quite able to leap out.

"Don't worry about it," Inuyasha replies, his cheeks warming to match hers.

"But...why did you have me in the lake? What were you doing?"

"You...uh...I...I tried to revive you with the cold water."

"Oh, the fall. I lost consciousness."

"You lost more than that," he whispers to himself. And so did I, he adds mentally.

"What was that?" Kagome asks spiritedly, certain she heard him say something she would want to know more about.

"Nothing. We should really be getting to bed now. It's late and...there's a funeral in the morning."

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Once in her sleeping bag, Kagome reflects on the events of her day. After her talk with Inuyasha, she realized she had gotten some of the answers she sought. Particularly about the kiss. She was now certain, though it was not mentioned, that it had indeed been Inuyasha's goodbye to his former lover. Even she would not, could not, deny him that. She still had questions, but she was satisfied for now. She would bring up the rest after a time, when the pain wasn't so fresh in Inuyasha's heart.

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Miroku was honored to be chosen to officiate Kikyo's last rites in the earthly plane and assist her in reaching the next. The funeral goes along beautifully, with mourners making offerings of prayers and incense for the deceased priestess and speaking well of her life. Kaede, as next of kin, served as Chief Mourner, instructing Kagome in the ways of the process.

Kagome was glad to comply. She only wished Inuyasha would come down from the God Tree and join her. Yet, she understood now why he did not.

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A/N: Sorry for the wait, but my beta Brakken is such a beotch, she just would not be satisfied! ;) (I'm teasing Brak, you know I'd be lost without you!) My writing is much better thanks to her slavedriving, making me rewrite 50 times...(I'm asking for it, aren't I?) :D No, for real, many thanks go to Brakken for her help. (Please don't kill me!)

I hope everyone enjoyed this installment!