Chapter 9

The Deer and the Lion

–"This made him cry out, 'Upon my word,' says he, 'there are a lot of cowards who want to lie in the bed of a strong man! It is like a deer who lays her new-born sucklings to sleep in a lion's den, while she ranges hills and dales for her food: then the lion comes back to his lair and tears them to pieces, both dame and fawns. So Odysseus will come back and tear these men to pieces."-

Trial going slower than hoped. Their arguments will be difficult to dispute. I'll begin later in the week.-M

Shelton Howard leaned back in his wooden chair, his feet propped on the desk before him, the shiny gold of his spurs digging into the soft wood. His elbows were propped on either side of the arm rest with fingers touching and resting against his mouth. He stared out the window in deep thought.

Howard had long finished the most urgent of reports to be sent to the territorial governor, and had scattered the rest of his papers- labeled with a bright red Important scribbled across the header- to the corner of his desk, shoved in and over books. He wasn't in the least concerned about them. He'd get to them later. Instead, the thoughts that filled Howard's mind as he stared out the window were a little more… pressing. Shelton Howard was desperately trying to plan his next move on Michaela Quinn.

He had to admit, she'd reacted just as he'd anticipated, the sharp burst of anger and indignation followed by a shallow simmer. No one had realized it, or given him enough credit, but he had spent quite a bit of time observing Michaela Quinn; he had pinpointed all of her weaknesses. That's what gave him the leverage of the homestead, and it would soon be aided with her love and loyalty to her family. The only thing he had to do now was plan out his next step.

Howard's eyes narrowed on a point in the far distance, "If I told her…" His thought was interrupted by a knock on his door. After his invitation, the door opened to show his aide fidgeting with a paper in his hand.

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir."

Howard rolled his eyes, and with a swift motion beckoned the man in with his hand. He kicked his feet off the desk. "What is it?" His lips pursed tightly together.

"I just thought you'd be interested in this, sir." The aide lifted a newspaper before laying it down and the desk.

"What it it?" The question was not truly a question, for Howard grasped the paper between his own, forceful, greedy hands to discover for himself. He smiled when his eyes scanned the first of the headlines.

"Treason against our protectors," Prosecutors say it isn't the first time.

Howard looked up, his please, grinning eyes meeting the dull unhappiness of the man before him. "Thank you. I believe you just answered my question." A heaviness fell between them, the younger man unable to speak his mind and the older man refusing to acknowledge his aide's discomfort. Howard stared across the desk expectantly, and when he realized that nothing more was to be said, his eyebrows raised in bland disinterest. "That's all."

It seemed like a completly different day, a different time of year after the sun had broken through the early morning clouds warming the earth. It was unnaturally warm for a day in mid-January and the presence of a frost earlier that morning simply contributed more to the odd temperature fluctuations.

Sully straightened from his position on hands and knees, taking the time to stretch the kinks out of his back as he did so. The rays of the wintery sun seemed to beat down on his back, encouraging the sweat that was already sticking to the back of his woolen shirt. Dropping his newly reinforced hammer to his side, he turned himself around, feeling the constant ache in his knees and desiring to relieve the pain. A bucket of fresh water sat at the lower corner of the roof, and he scooted himself closer in order to take a drink of cool water.

On the very speck of the horizon, he could see a wagon, traveling across the little dirt path and growing bigger along the way. Sully's eyes affixed to the figure. Though he couldn't identify the wagon, or the occupants from such a distance, but he knew instinctively by the way his heart began to sputter in his chest that it was by Michaela's hand that the wagon moved.

Leaning back on his elbow with one knee bent and the other stretched before him, Sully balanced the tin cup on his abdomen. He began to chew on his lower lip. It was an effort he'd caught himself doing more often by means of discouraging the smile that desperately wanted to stretch his lips. Last night he'd been concerned, over his decisions, his actions, and Michaela's state of mind, but this morning he'd met a different, more determined woman, strengthened by the power of sleep and a new morning. He'd slipped this morning, he knew he did, because when Michaela had taken the hammer from him, lifting her eyes to his, she couldn't look away. He couldn't either, and though he detected a level of confusion about the moment in the multicolored irises that stared into his, he understood exactly why the two of them seemed trapped in a moment of suspended time.

Though he had permitted himself a few glimpses at her and her intoxicating gaze, he had hardly locked gazes with her at all. Instead this morning, he'd acted on his desires, and nearly lost his control. She seemed uncertain, not allowing herself to name what coarsed through her veins. He fought the want to pull her into his arms and kiss her with the fire that had begun to once again burn in his chest each time he saw her. In truth, after breakfast was over and Michaela and Katie had left for town, Sully found himself sitting on a bed of hay in the barn, the voice in the back of his head telling him that things couldn't continue like this for much longer. His entire charade had been a bomb to say the least, with the fuse already lit, and though he was certain now more than ever of what he was protecting her from, the only question was if he would break first and tell her, or she would figure it out. Perhaps, though, just perhaps everything would be over by then.

Dipping his head so that the brim of his hat covered his eyes, he took another sip of water. When he finally looked up, the wagon was stopped in front of the homestead. Katie, who was sitting on the front buckboard, waiting for Michaela to climb down swung her legs and smiled brightly, waving. The same mischevious grin stretched Sully's face as he waved back.

"How's everything going?" Michaela asked wondering around the side of the house, her hand raised to shield her eyes. She stood in the small patch of garden that laid before the broad stretch of trees took over. Sully rolled his body slightly so that he could see her over the edge of the roof.

"It's comin' along. The hammer's nice and sturdy now. I'm thinkin' I'll be able to fix this 'fore tomorrow lets out." He couldn't see the defined features of her face from so far up, but he knew that a wrinkle of concentration etched between her eyebrows. She was making a mental list of everything else that needed to be done.

Michaela's hand dropped from her brow to grasp her other arm, making it look as though she were cold, but in reality considering the fact that she no longer felt comfortable asking him for these jobs without pay, and she had nothing else to give him. She shrugged, trying to throw off her concern, "It'll be nice to have everything dry the next time it rains."

Slowly, the sun began to heat her under its fierce rays, and her shoulders began to warm under her shawl. She dropped her grasp on her arms in order to shrug off the warm yarn. In the split second that her eyes met the ground, they landed on the small sprouts of green jutting out from under her shoe. She eyed them suspiciously before bending down and plucking the weeds from the earth. Looking up from her kneeling position, her eyes followed the flashes of green mixed with color of budding flowers against the bland earth; it was an unusual winter.

For some reason, the flash of color and the warmth of the sun gave Michaela added energy. It was an urging to work in the garden, to weed and dig, even if the labor of today would be washed away in the next frost. By the time she straightened, she'd decided a little pre dinner gardening would be nice. "What do you think, Katie? Would you like to play outside?"

The little girl who had been distracted herself with a small ant crawling across a brown leave, nodded. "All right, let's go get our tools." Michaela held her hand out; Katie grasped her two smallest fingers.

Five minutes later found Michaela, with her gardening tools spread next to her, kneeling contently in the small patch of once tilled land. Strong leather gloves clad her hands for protection from the hard work. After a while, her movements became unconsciously synced with the constant thrum of hammer against nail as Sully, above her head, skillfully reconstructed the roof for her protection.

Sully bent, hands and knees working with the last of the shingles. However, he couldn't prevent his eyes from straying off the edge of the roof. He wanted nothing more than to sit and watch, to watch from afar where she could not see. She moved with such grace and certainty that it was almost intoxicating and he'd yet been able to drink his fill.

From where he knelt on the roof, he could see Katie, crouching low to the ground eyes trained on something specific. She stilled, her arms stretched high, and then, with the speed of a cat, stabbed at her unseen target, burying a spoon into the slightly moistened earth. Tiny fingers curled around the handle of the spoon, twisting and turning until it finally broke free sending shards of dirty flying into the air. He watched as little curls bounced wildly from side to side, dispelling the flakes of brown from the blonde tresses. Though he couldn't see her face, he could still see the toothy grin that announced her laughter. She immediately bent to try it again.

Wolf, who had spent most of the afternoon lounging out around the trees, came wandering back toward the house as if knowing that his family was home and to see what all the excitement was about. As Michaela continued to pull weeds, Katie sent another shower of dust into the air. Wolfe paused, considering both options, and then, lowering his head to the ground, strolled his way to Katie. Sully now, actually stood his hammer on end and rested his hands over the end, unabashedly watching his daughter and best friend interact.

Wolf wandered up to Katie and nudged her with the end of his nose, pushing her head to the side, from where she immediately bounded back, encircling both arms around his neck and returning the nuzzle. Moving, even with the constraint of two arms wrapped around his neck, Wolf bent to sniff at the little whole that had been created in front of her.

Katie giggled, though Sully couldn't hear it, "Woof!" She squealed plying thousands of kisses to the fluffy fur. Woolf's head rose and stared blankly at Sully on the roof, who laughed silently in return. Wolf had been with him since he was a small pup, and even when he first became close to Michaela and the kids, Brian would always play with the furry friend as rough as he did. Never had Sully prepared the poor animal to be showered with the attention and affection of a two year old girl. From where he sat, it looked as if, though Wolf accepted the hugs and kisses with his own form of gentle affection, he stared at Sully as if asking for help to extricate himself from the situation.

Sully sat on top of the roof, staring back at his longtime friend and simply shook his head, Wolf's head in turn dropped back to the ground, just in time for a handful of dirt to be dumped on him. Katie laughed.

"Katie!" The screech of disbelief announced that Michaela had looked up just in time to see the debacle. "Don't do that. How would you feel if someone poured dirt all over you?"

Katie reached up and ran her fingers through her own hair. "I alweady did." Michaela had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She lifted a hand to beckon Wolf to her. He took three steps and stopped long enough to shake the dirt from his body before finishing the trip.

Now it was Sully's turn to watch the way Michaela interacted with Wolf. Even though she was less affectionate and over the top than Katie, she was still gentle and attentive as she rae her hands through the fur, dispelling the rest of the dirt from his thick fur, and then, her hands stopping on either side of the animal's neck, she leaned in.

"Now get out of here before she does worse." She whispered into the furry ear. When she leaned back she received a tap on the cheek with his wet nose, a simple thank you before running off down the hill.

Michaela turned to watch Wolf disappear down toward the barn and then turned back. "Come here Katie." The little girl clamored to her feet, and stumbled her way to her mama.

"I got dirty, too." She grinned, plopping down in her mother's lap.

"Yes, I see that." Gentle fingers ran through her curls, dusting off her shoulders. "Were you having fun?"

"Yea." She reclined back against Michaela's chest, her knees swaying back and forth. Her eyes drifted closed under the smooth motions, alluding to the fact that it might be possible to have her take a nap before dinner.

Michaela tilted her head to one side so that she could see Katie's face, "What do you think we should put in the garden this spring?" Katie struggled to put a dirt covered thumb in her mouth and Michaela quickly extracted it again. Little eyebrows lowered up at her, and then faded.

"I think carrots, an' 'motoes."

"What about…squash?" Katie grimaced, making Michaela laugh. She leaned in and dusting off a clean spot on the small forehead planted a kiss there.

It was only then that Michaela realized that she no longer heard the rhythmic hammering from the roof. She looked up, and found the strong frame of Sam Hawking staring back at her. He made no movement to turn away. He was not ashamed he had been caught in his little act of voyeurism, and Michaela couldn't muster any feelings of anger, or embarrassment. All she seemed able to do was to stare back, watching him as he watched her, and wonder what he was thinking. It seemed like another moment of lost time before the rushed thud of horse hoofs against the dirt path broke the spell. Both Michaela and Hawking turned toward the road, thinking the same thing- that there was an emergency- but quickly realizing that the rushed gallop was from Shelton Howard. Sully straightened on his knees as Michaela set Katie aside and stood to her feet. The little girl, wide-eyed followed her mother to meet the mysterious man, unaware as she grasped to the billowing skirts, the way her mama's body posture had changed from the gentle relaxation from the moment before to squared and strong.

Howard, threw his leg around back and dismounted in a smooth and gentle glide. Michaela's eye narrowed, watching the movement with a level a disdain and tension. She had hoped that she could manage not seeing Howard again, though that was highly improbable. He would find a way to arrange the meeting whether she liked it or not; she was beginning to realize just how sly and manipulating this man was and it gave her an even deeper sense of fear in her inability to stop him. He was a man of power unlike she had initially realized, and there was no one of equal power to turn to. She had to battle him alone.

In the half second that took Sully to question himself and his actions, he realized that there was no question at all. He would gladly take any step, even if it were to be the step toward his identity being discovered to keep her safe. His identity and her safety was not to be a trade off, and so, Sully, leaving the hammer forgotten on the new shingles, crawled to the ladder and was halfway down by the time the first words were spoken between Michaela and Howard.

"Mr. Howard, is there something I can help you with." Michaela stood, fingers intertwined before her, head raised so that she would be squinting in the sun, if she allowed herself to squint at all, but she was even too stubborn to do that. Howard's lips merely curled into a smile. It was chilling because it seemed so normal, as if he were completely unaware as to what had transpired the last time they met, or as if he thought nothing were wrong with the entire proposition.

"Well, hello, Dr. Quinn." He bent a little to the side so he could see the little girl who was standing behind her mother's leg, hugging it fiercely. "and hello to you."

Michaela felt the two arms squeeze tighter across the top of her leg. She reached her arm around and tucked the little head into her skirt, not forcing Katie to react in anyway. "Mr. Howard, if you have anything to say, I suggest to say it to me."

Mock shock transformed Howards face, "I must apologize Dr. Quinn. I didn't think that an act of kindness to my little hostess would be considered rude." There was once a time when Michaela might have thought her words were hasty and too harsh, but that time was over. "In fact I came to bring you this morning's newspaper from Denver. I thought you'd like to hear the news of the trail." A hand reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a clipped newspaper.

Katie buried her face further into her mama's skirt, hoping beyond hope that the man would go away. She hated it when the mean man visited. Ignoring the adult's conversation, she found the courage to lift her face and look behind her wondering where Wolf was, but instead she saw Mr. Hawking stepping off the ladder and turning toward her. In a second, she released her hold on her mama and turned to the gentle man, running toward him as fast as her legs would take him.

Sully could see the wide eyes filled with the beginnings of unshed tears as the little girl ran toward him. Stopping where he was, he dropped to one knee and lifted her into his arms, pulling her from the ground. Katie felt like she was flying, like no one else could even come close to touching her as she wrapped her arms around Mr. Hawking's neck, fingers grasping the edge of his collar. Her shimmering eyes met his and she whispered, barely audible. "It' th the scawy man."

"It's ok. Ya're ma's gonna keep you safe," and then looking around for a quick solution, "Ya wanna go inside?" A wordless nod answered his question, and he opened the side door to the house, put Katie on her feet and shut it behind her before turning back toward Michaela.

She stood alone, head lowered, eyes staring at something in her hands and the dust from a distant traveler passed back down the path. Sully took a few steps toward her and stopped, standing on two firm legs. "What'd he want?" Michaela stared at the clipping in her hand one last time, traitor, traitor, treason, it was the only word she seemed to be able to read. Hope seemed to be dimming in the ever glowing presence of the word.

She turned, folding the clipping hastily in her hand so that Hawking couldn't see it, but the way his eyes trailed to her hands told her he did. Her chin lifted, even more so than it had with Howard, perhaps because she felt more of a need to show her strength and certainty with Hawking. "It's nothing."

Sully still hadn't taken his eyes from her hands, "it can't be nothin'. What'd he say?"

She shrugged, moving suddenly, almost nervously toward the abandoned gardening tools, "He just wanted to tell me about the trail." She looked up? "Where's Katie?"

The change of subject threw Sully off, "She… ah… I let her inside, she seemed a little uneasy."

"She's scared of him. She wants to hide every time time he comes by."

Sully's jaw set, preparing for the reaction to his next words, "maybe she sees something that the rest of us don't." Two mismatched eyes shot at him accusingly before she bent back to her tools, putting them back in their basket. She said nothing and so he continued. "He still threatening you?"

"It was hardly a threat."

"Didn't sound like that the other night. Sounded like he really bothered you with that ultimatum." Michaela lifted the basket in a rushed motion.

"It was late at night. I was tired and…"

Sully's eyes narrowed at her, the flames of determination that he had known so well were vividly burning in her gaze. He had forgotten how frustrating her stubbornness was. "Let me help ya." It was a simple request, but Michaela flinched slightly. It was the same phrase Howard was waving over her head, and though she knew Hawking meant nothing of the sort, she cringed at the idea of having to bow down to a man she still knew nothing about.

"I have everything under control, thank you."

"It don't look like it. It looks like ya need help." She moved to pass him, but he caught her upper arm.

"Mr. Hawking this matter does not consult you. We are doing perfectly fine." She voice turned into a strangled cry.

"Why won't ya accept my help?" Sully's voice reacted similarly, raising a level in determination.

"Why are set on me taking it?" In the next second, he saw Michaela like he'd never had before. She looked scared, like Katie who had come running toward him with wide eyes and tears, like she was trapped. Michaela looked as though someone were squeezing the very air from her body, and the feeling transferred to him. Sully began to feel trapped by his own charade, and fought the urge to break out.

"Because that's why I'm here!" He shouted, not realizing what he'd said until he'd heard the words himself. He felt his heart stop in his chest, and stared at her face, looking for any understanding as to what he'd said.

"No, you're here to help fix my home. This matter does not concern you." There wasn't any.

Sully's voice lowered, a final cry, plea for her to listen. "Why do ya have ta be so stubborn?" Michaela felt her heart stop and a moment of intense pain taking over the next beat. The words were so familiar.

"No shame in lettin' folks help ya." Sully stated simply, handing her the canteen with that soft smirk on his face.

Michaela sighed, "I'm sorry. I wanted to show you I could do whatever you could." She lifted her broken wrist grimly. "Now I'm nearly helpless."

"Why don't ya quite tryin' so hard?"

"It's an old habit."

"Give it up."

The memory came and went. She pushed through the pain, and pulled her arm from his embrace suddenly as if just realizing that he was touching her. She had no desire for him to touch her, for him to look at her in that moment. Her voice lowered for her answer, barely containing all of the emotion out of her own ears. "Because if I don't keep it together, this all falls apart, everything, my practice, my homestead, my family. It's all gone if I'm not strong enough to deal."

She waited for no response, and did not wait to see the unnamed emotion that crossed Hawking's face as he, utterly shocked, heard her announce, blatantly what it was she was feeling. She simply turned for the door. The sudden crack of wood on wood echoed through the trees.

"So, I was thinkin' that I would write about how the buffalo don't come grazin' near Colorado Springs anymore." Brian told Hawking, who was sitting across the table from him.

Hawking nodded, pleased with Brian's ideas for his next article in The Gazette. "Sounds familiar." He smiled slightly under the protection of the brim of his hat.

"Yea, I got ta thinkin' 'bout it after we talked. I started wonderin' 'bout why that was. Maybe if I could find out and write about what changed we could stop it."

"I think that's a good plan, Brian."

The young man, smiled. He had been excited to know what Mr. Hawking thought the moment he came up with the idea. Somehow, something told him that the older man would be pleased, and the approval meant a lot, a lot more than he would have thought. He turned to his ma, eyes sparkling with the excitement of a new project.

"Whadda ya think, ma?"

Michaela, who was occupying her attention with removing the last of dinner from the oven, turned to look at Brian. Her eyes were softened, and she seemed to beam at him. "I think it's lovely… "She paused before adding the words that she knew Brian truly needed to hear, "and I think Sully would have thought so as well."

Sully didn't miss the way Brian's feature stretched even further. He wouldn't have thought it possible to see the boy any happier than he had been five minutes before, but he was.

"Thanks, Ma."

Michaela took the moment to acknowledge his appreciation, taking a breath to steady the pounding in her heart, and then reached for the stack of plates, "Brian, would you set the table for me?"

"Yea, sure." Standing from his position, he took the plates from her and turned for the den. Sully too stood. Much hadn't been said between him and Michaela since that afternoon, but he could tell by her quietness and abrupt answers, her fighting desire to avoid his eye contact, that she was still bothered by what had transpired. Whether she was angry, or simply ashamed of their encounter he couldn't identify. He decided to take it easy either way.

"Can I help?" He stepped behind her, reaching around to take the plate of biscuits and fried chicken.

"Um, ah… yes." She swiped quickly at the hair in her face. "Thank you." He took the plates and turned, leaving her with the glasses.

It took Michaela a moment to collect herself. She didn't know what she felt at the precise moment somehow it was a mixture of acceptance and the intense struggle for there to be no acceptance. It was a horrible complacency that she couldn't seem to shake. She was just tired, tired of fighting and trying to prove everything to everyone. There's no shame in letting someone help ya. There was no shame in it, as long as the right person was there. There had been a time when she would have allowed herself to be taken care of, but that time had come and gone. She didn't wish to go back.

Two knocks on the door, announced Michaela's presence in the room. She nodded for Brian to answer the door as she turned to put Katie in her high chair.

"Sorry ta bother ya Dr. Mike." Jake appeared in the doorway, swiftly taking his hat off and bowing his head. "Joshua Crombie fell under the back wheel of his wagon. He's messed up pretty bad."

Michaela took a breath, her chest filling with air as she glanced around the table, thinking quickly. "All right." Brian spoke first, prepared to be help in anyway possible, "I'll ride inta town with ya, Ma."

"No, stay here with Katie and finish dinner. I'll be fine." Hawking stood near the doorway, watching as Michaela, as usual jumped into action. She moved to the door and shrugged into her coat and reached for her bag.

"Mommy leave?" Katie called from her seat, fork in hand waiting for dinner.

Michaela hastily moved back to her daughter knowing that there wasn't time for long good byes. "I'm leaving to take care of Mr. Crombie, but you can stay here with Brian and have a good dinner." She didn't wait for the protest, or the tears as she cupped the girl's cheek and deposited a kiss to her cheek before moving to Brian. A quick hug and a nod to Hawking, "good night," saw her out the door.

So there's the next chapter, what do you think? I hope you enjoyed it…. =)