AN: I'm sorry I've taken so long with this, but I was temporarily banned from the computer, and my teachers have been very annoying recently (projects, tests, etc).
Some info about the relationships:
Hidasaku: Hidan and Sakura's relationship is built up on a really annoying saying in German. "Was sich neckt das liebt sich!" It means if a boy and girl continually tease each other, they're still in denial, and are showing it by teasing each other, but in reality they like or love each other, or they have no idea how to show their feelings, and express them that way.
Itadei: I know that Deidara hates Itachi, but even Naruto and Sasuke became friends after a while, so it would be possible for two feminine men to get together after showing no interest in woman in the series.
KisaZetsu: I didn't originally plan to put this in the fic, but due to my recent obsession with weird yaoi pairings I decided to use it.
The last pairing is Pein/Konan which is self-explanatory.
Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies Kakuzu is still alive though).
Rating: T for swearing and minor situations (limes).
Bold-Sakura Thinking
H: Hidan thinking
IS: - inner Sakura talking
Underlined: Zetsu's black side
Italics: song lyrics
"talking" – talking
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!! (or Gimme more! That's Britney's!)
Someone wanted to know what the Akatsuki members are wearing as pajamas so here goes:
Itachi: black silk pajamas (aww he's not shirtless… I'll have to change that)
Hidan: white sweatpants (drool)
Kakuzu: Really cheap grey sweatpants (no mask)
Pein: rainbow colored sweatpants(O.o)
Kisame: jaws t-shirt and black boxers (I couldn't resist)
Zetsu: green sweatpants(is he black and white all the way down…?)
Tobi: peppa pig pajamas (AAAAARGH! IT BURNS!)
Deidara: blue silk pajamas (you aren't supposed to see his other mouth yet)
Konan: blue nightdress
Last chapter:
At that moment Sakura came back in and completed her sentence. "… truth or dare."
Ninth chapter…
The look on the faces of the male Akatsuki was indescribable. The mixture of shock, horror, and confuddlement (don't ask), was visible on all their faces (even Tobi's), and (almost) made the two kunoichi laugh.
"Now… lets start with… Deidara." Sakura, evilly smirking, handed him the bottle.
D: Thank god, I'm not the first one to be dared… or questioned, un.
The bottle spun and finally stopped on Tobi, who looked as clueless as ever.
"Truth or Dare un."
"Dare me sempai, dare me." (AN: Did that sound weird or what?)
H: Fucktard.
D: Idiot.
IS: Wow. He's stupider than I gave him credit for.
"Fine… I dare you not to talk to anyone except Zetsu, Sakura and Pein for an entire month un."
"… Sakura-chan! Tobi wants to tell Deidara-sempai ok!"
D:… annoying brat.
"Just shut up and spin the bottle, un!"
The next volunteer (victim), waaaaaas… Kakuzu.
"Pein-senpai, tell Kakuzu Tobi said Truth or dare."
Ka: The idiot's not worth the money I pay to feed him.
"Truth."
"Pein-sama tell Kakuzu, that Tobi asked how old he is."
"…"
"Well un?"
"I'm… I'm…!" Kakuzu suddenly looked like someone had burned money in front of his eyes.
"Yeeeees…" The others said, trying not to lean forwards to finally find out the question that everyone had been wanting to ask for years, but they hadn't had the courage to ask (except for Hidan, who was and is an idiot, and ended up being ripped to pieces).
"I'monehundredandsixtyfiveyearsold."
Pein decided that no one else apart from Itachi had understood what Kakuzu had said.
"Repeat that you fucking sissy."
"Who are you calling a sissy?"
"Shut.Up.And.Repeat.Your.Answer!" The Uchiha had finally snapped, as this game was just about as irritating as TOBI (if not more so), and his eyes were hurting quite a lot.
"… no."
"JUST DO IT!" They shivered under the infuriated Uchiha's gaze. His temper was getting the best over his no emotion-training.
Kakuzu under the Uchiha's very very evil deathglare, shivered and repeated his answer. Slowly.
"I'm one-hundred and sixty-five years old"
Utter silence… then
"BWAHAHAHAHA! You're really old you shithead."
"Shut the fuck up you religious zealot!"
"Fuck no you retarded old shit."
"Who are you calling a shit?"
"You! You dumb fuck!"
The rest of the organization (and Sakura), sighed. This happened every time Kakuzu and Hidan were in a room together.
Konan decided that their argument was a waste of time and spun the bottle for Kakuzu. The two self-proclaimed immortals stopped their argument to see the bottle land on Itachi.
"Dare." The Uchiha said, not bothering to wait for the question to be asked.
Kakuzu smirked. He had the perfect dare for the Uchiha. He would kill two birds with one stone, by humiliating Weasel-boy and completing one of his new year's resolutions before next year. Life was sweet.
"I dare you to pole dance and strip to the song Gimme more by Britney Spears, that includes your ponytail, and you have to smile seductively at the same time."
The look on Itachi's face was priceless. His jaw had hit the floor and he had gone fish-eyed. Pein took a photo with a camera. (where did he get it?)
This photo would be the first in an album entitled "Embarrassing photos of the Akatsuki".
Needless to say, the others were very amused, except for two very mortified girls…women…females, and a blushing Deidara. Kisame seemed unaffected. (He's seen it before! O.O)
"Oh yes and before I forget… pretend Deidara is the pole!"
All color fled from Deidra's features, and he suddenly had a very disturbing, yet sexy image of Itachi pressed up seductively against him. It was all he could do not to get a nosebleed and faint. Itachi looked indifferent to the whole affair, except that his eyes were betraying him by flitting side to side with panic.
Konan abruptly held out a CD-player to Kakuzu, smirking evilly at Deidara, who at that moment decided that he hated the whole organization more than ever.
Of course he still hated Itachi the most. Yeah. He did not have any sexual affection for the Uchiha. (Yeah keep thinking that! In short: You're in denial.)
"Deidara stand in the middle of the room!" Itachi sounded very irritated (after spending years interacting with the guy anyone would recognize that certain emotion in his wonderfully smooth voice-wait since when did he start thinking about the Uchiha this way).
Konan pressed the play button and Itachi started to dance.
It's Britney bitch
I see you
And I just wanna dance with you
Itachi eased his hair out of the ponytail while slowly strutting around Deidara and smiling… in a most appealing way to anyone in the room, although it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Every time they turn the lights down
Just wanna go that extra mile for you
You got my display of affection
Feels like no one else in the room but you
Itachi had his hand on Deidara's stomach while he pushed his back against the Iwa-nin.
We can get down like there's no one around
We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin'
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'
They keep watchin', keep watchin'
Feels like the crowd is sayin'
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Itachi started unbuttoning his shirt while grinding his rear end into Deidara's groin, while deidara let out a small gasp, blushing continuously.
The center of attention
Even when they're up against the wall
You got me in a crazy position
If you're on a mission you got my permission
The shirt came off and the girls (and Dei-chan), ogled Itachi's beautifully defined muscles, clearly without any flaws, and the old ANBU tattoo that suited his graceful arms.
We can get down like there's no one around
We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin', rockin'
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'
They keep watchin', keep watchin'
Feels like the crowd is sayin'
The Uchiha slowly pulled on his waistband with one hand while the other was hooked around Deidara's neck, his smile matching his eyes more, and his body swaying to the music. Deidara on the other hand was trying not to get too excited and was suppressing continuous groans.
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
The silky black trousers came off, and were flung away by Deidara, who was totally caught up in the music, leaving Itachi dancing in his snugly fitting boxers.
I just can't control myself, oh!
They want more? Well I'll give them more, ow!
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more
The boxers were now being pulled off, with the dancer facing his pole head on.
Gimme more, gimme more
Gimme more, gimme more babe
(Danja, Danja, Danja, Danja)
I just want more
The tension between the pole-playing Deidara, and the now naked Uchiha was mounting as they stared into each others' eyes.
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme
(Danja, Danja, Danja, Danja)
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme
Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme
Feeling encouraged, the two started leaning in, completely oblivious to the rest of the world (which was blushing brightly), leaning in just to relieve a little bit of the tension that enharboured both of their bodies.
Bet you didn't see this one comin'
The incredible Ligo
The legendary Miss Britney Spears
And the unstoppable Danja
Ah, you gonna have to remove me
'Cause I ain't goin' nowhere
They kissed, the tension leaving their bodies as the song ended, leaving both of them panting in the middle of a brightly decorated room with eight people staring at them with mixed expressions. Wait. Make that seven as one of them had fainted from a nosebleed (that person being Sakura). The other expressions were boredom, glee, fangirl-heartsx2, mischievousness, smugness and cockiness.
They were all temporarily blinded by the flash of a camera. In that instant the pair pulled away, and Hidan wolf whistled.
"Nice dick blind shit! Always thought you were a tranny."
"…" Itachi merely pulled his boxers back on and sat down next to the passed out Sakura, jostling Konan out of the way. Deidara just stood there, before he recovered and sat down next to Tobi.
The bottle was spun again, and this time, it landed on our poor, poor religious zealot, who was unluckily already on Itachi's revenge list, for stealing the last box of coco pops three years ago when he joined. No-one else dared touch them, as they all knew that the coco-pops were Itachi's and Deidara's punishment when the aforementioned had joined had been nothing short of cruel and disturbing. Now the time would come to enact his revenge upon Hidan, and he could simply use the recent circumstances to his advantage.
"Truth or Dare?" Itachi's ominous tone boded nothing well for Hidan, but, as attentative as ever, Hidan didn't notice the weightiness put behind Itachi's words.
But Hidan did notice the slight bit of warning in Itachi's tone as it was the same one Kakuzu used when Hidan was going to be cut to bits. He would rather risk doing something stupid than allowing the Weasel to pry in his life by having to tell him something which would most likely embarrass himself, and serve as blackmail material.
Wow Hidan can THINK!
"A fucking Dare you half-blind ass!"
Itachi smirked ever so slightly. "I dare you to wash Sakura."
Hidan paled. This was NOT good.
Having a slight panic attack, he looked pleadingly at Konan who only smiled smugly at him, with a look in her eye that said: you're on your own mate.
He tried to catch someone else's eye, just for some support, but no avail, as none of the others seemed willing to help.
With a sigh of defeat (much to Kakuzu and Itachi's secret glee), he went over to Sakura and picked her up. He threw a glare behind him at the occupants of the room and said "I'll get all of you assholes back! Just you wait!" Then he stalked off in the direction of his room, to get the embarrassing dare over with, and hopefully not sustain any bad injuries.
When he entered the room he quickly grabbed a towel, and quickly moved on into the bathroom, and started running the water. He also added some bubble-bath, because he couldn't be bothered to lather her in soap.
Then came the hard part: Taking her clothes off.
H: Wait. The Blind asshole didn't say anything about undressing her, did he?
Hidan smirked. So much for the all-perfect Uchiha.
So instead of undressing her, he just dumped her body in the now full tub, which quite abruptly woke her up.
Slam!
The next moment Hidan was lying on the floor, unconscious, with a red handprint on his quickly swelling face.
Ten minutes later, the rest of the Akatsuki were laughing at the wet haired kunoichi, who was wearing some borrowed clothes from her unwilling roommate, and Hidan, with his hand-shaped bruise.
The evening continued similarly like that with embarrassing questions and ridiculous dares.
(Sakura: "What's the most horrible mission you've ever had?" Kakuzu: "Seducing some fat old woman and even paying her to sleep with me.")
(Hidan: "I dare you to eat a mixture of clay, blood, something rotten and piss." Konan: "Eww no that's way too disgusting!")
That was until Kisame decided to bring out his secret stash of booze, and it turned out that a lot of them hadn't drunk much alcohol in their short lives. Mainly Itachi (alcohol messed with his mind), Deidara (too young) and Sakura (too young).
Therefore it was promptly decided that before answering their question, or doing their dare, the person in question would have to have some beer, some port, some rum, some whisky or a mix.
Within two hours, all of them except for Kisame and Kakuzu were extremely inebriated, as they had to drink a lot more to get properly drunk, which made them laugh at Itachi's attempts to walk across the room only to walk into the wall, and Hidan and Sakura's continuous arguing about random subjects (like doggie-do-bags).
Once Itachi had picked up on the three relatively sober people laughing at him he stumbled off in what he thought was the direction to his room, and Deidara and Tobi soon followed him.
Next Kisame decided to take the now sleeping Zetsu to his room, since Pein didn't want anyone to sleep in the living-room, and wake up in the morning whining in their ears about a hangover.
Kakuzu decided that he wanted a kip ten minutes later, and the only noise left in the room was of the drunken roommates' arguing (this time about music styles).
"Pwink shit wanna go 'n' schleep?
"'Kay."
The two stumbled off towards their room.
Konan turned to Pein.
"We need to talk about our relationship."
In the meantime, Hidan was having weird thoughts flying through his head. Booze always brought out his more sentimental side.
He stared at Sakura.
What was she to him?
Was she just Akatsuki's medic?
Was she just his unwilling roommate?
Did he like her?
Did he (dare he say it?), love her?
To Hidan's inebriated mind there was only one way to find out.
When he stumbled into the room, to see her lying on the bed, he went straight over and kissed her.
Sakura's POV
I wonder what's happening back home. I haven't thought of Konoha in ages. What's wrong with me? I haven't even thought of Naruto or Sasuke. I shouldn't be acting nice to them! They're going to kill my best friend, and Itachi almost completely committed genocide! But seeing them like this… they're just normal people, and all ninja become killers at some time.
What are they to me? What am I to them? Do I still like Sasuke?
IS: Naw. Course you don'! You like hottie!
Sakura stumbled, still in her drunken state of stupor, arguing with herself.
WHO?
IS: Hida-kun of course! And he likes you.
I don't like him. And how can you be so sure he likes me?
IS: Somebody's in denial! Somebody's in denial! La-lala lala.
I-
Sakura's mind suddenly went blank when she felt Hidan's lips upon her own. Her mouth opened wide with shock, and Hidan's tongue slipped between her lips.
By instinct, she rubbed her tongue against his and they eagerly began to explore each other's mouths. Just as suddenly as it had begun, Sakura broke it off. Hidan looked at her questioningly.
She now knew. The kiss had been her wake-up call. She would probably
"I love you."
He stared at her, stunned, and then broke into a wide smile, leaned in and said.
"I love you too."
They started eagerly kissing again, and went further, unaware that they had a spectator…
AN: Finally finished! Lalalalalalala!! I will publish the lemon to this (and the other pairings) separately. Please don't kill me. Or flame me.
Previews of the next chapter: Awakenings.
"He raped us!"
"Konan and I have something to announce!"
"Kisame-san why do you have a bite mark on your neck?"
Lina